With haste!

He will judge everyone according to what they have done. He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers. But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and instead live lives of wickedness. There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on doing what is evil... (Romans 2:6-9)

I believe one of the greatest things God does for us is extend his kindness toward us, giving us a chance to turn from our independent choices (choices that often lead us into sin), and turn toward him. God's judgment against sin isn't a thing to be trifled with, but neither is his grace! Grace is given freely to all who seek it, but with grace comes the responsibility on our part to allow God to change our heart's attitude toward sin in our lives. 

It is a matter of us determining to walk away from sin and toward God - not once, but repeatedly. Why do I say repeatedly? Sin isn't going to just 'go away' - we have to actually walk away from it. As I heard my pastor say this week - we have to create 'distance' between us and the sin. Without that distance, we just keep on sinning. God promises eternal life to those who 'keep on doing good', seeking him and all he offers. It is easy to confess our sinfulness and ask for forgiveness, but it is another thing to actually allow God to change our hearts sufficiently that we don't even want to return to that sin again.

To turn away from sin, one has to first recognize they are a sinner, and their actions are sinful. Sin isn't a thing to be trifled with. It is serious business! We learn to recognize it when we begin to ask God to show us where we are compromising and entering into sin in our lives. This is a tough prayer to utter, but once uttered, be ready...God is about to show you some things you may not want to have realized existed in your life! As we turn away from sin, we need to focus on what the Word of God says. When we hide his Word in our hearts, it actually helps us recognize compromise sooner, and even avoid the actions that lead us into sin. (Psalm 119:11)

One further thing we should do - get in a place of accountability. We need others who are walking with Jesus to help us see what we cannot recognize because we are too close or too invested in the compromise/sin. The time in God's Word and prayer, combined with repentance is important, but having this accountability can be a lifesaver. How? Proverbs 17:17 tells us that a piece of iron actually helps sharpen another - we help 'sharpen' each other's awareness of compromise and sin. Then we help each other walk away from it with haste! Just sayin!

Oh, but it is too hard

Crucial Conversations - have you read the book? Crucial Confrontations - have you read that one? These are pretty much 'required reading' for anyone desiring to promote up through the ranks, as the leadership skills of having those 'tough conversations' or saying what may be 'uncomfortable' to say is needed if you are to lead well. Seeing things and then knowing what to do about them is quite different, isn't it? We can all observe things in others, but how do we go about 'doing' anything about what we see? Some of us shy away from those confrontational kinds of moments as though they might be similar to the 'plague' of ancient days! We just aren't comfortable with them and we know the other person won't be either!

Brothers and sisters, someone in your group might do something wrong. You who are following the Spirit should go to the one who is sinning. Help make that person right again, and do it in a gentle way. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin too. Galatians 6:1 ERV

There is nothing easy about observing a brother or sister in our circle of influence making bad decisions and heading in wrong directions. We can oftentimes spot those 'wrong steps' quicker than they can - being an observer and not a participant in them. If you are anything like me, you could be labeled a "conflict avoider" - you just don't like the 'discomfort' of having conflict in your life. Truth be told, there are a lot of people who handle conflict well and aren't afraid to take the step to point out where change is needed. There are others of us that get walked on too much, put up with things we probably shouldn't put up with, or simply walk away from relationships because the things we see aren't good and we cannot bring ourselves to deal with the conflict they may cause us.

Don't get me wrong - we aren't to 'instigate' arguments or conflict. We are to gently and humbly hold each other accountable. Don't skip over those two words - gently and humbly. Gentleness is a character trait of the Holy Spirit resident within our lives - it isn't part of our nature to be gentle or kind. We are a little too 'self-absorbed' on occasion and 'inward-focused' to actually respond in the kindest of manners all of the time. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to interact with each other in a manner that reflects the attitude of thinking of someone other than ourselves. Relationship is always two-sided. We aren't the center of it - Christ is! When we lay ourselves down, Christ is free to be the center of our relationships and where he dwells, there is gentleness.

A humble appraisal of one's own 'stumbling' points is necessary if we are to have any form of open and honest relationship with God and others. To think one is above stumbling is dangerous ground. This is why we are reminded accountability has both a gentle side and a humble one! Crucial conversations are those that need to be had. They aren't idle words - they are purposeful and often challenging, but they are necessary. There will be times when what is said isn't going to sit well, but until the words are shared, no growth in the relationship will come. When these words are spoken in gentleness and with great humility, there is more potential introduced into the relationship. That potential is that of love, forgiveness, the laying down of grudges or jealousy, and the opening of one's self to the potential of restoration. Don't skip the hard words - don't run away from hard conversations. If we want to have deep and meaningful relationships we need these 'hard moments'. Just sayin!

Keep me on my toes!

So watch your step, friends. Make sure there's no evil unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God. For as long as it's still God's today, keep each other on your toes so sin doesn't slow down your reflexes. If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we're in this with Christ for the long haul.  (Hebrews 3:12-14)

Many of us have others in our lives that we have some measure of responsibility for "watching over" their lives, their work, or their general well-being. This can be because we are a parent, a supervisor, or just a good friend - yes, even good friends need a little 'watching over'. Today, we consider some very stern words that should get our attention - both as those who are "watching over" someone and as those who are "watched over" by another. The warning to take daily "precautions" to ensure that the steps we take are on course and free of things that will "trip us up" should catch our attention here. Many believers come to Christ, embracing as "much" of Christ and his teachings as they are "comfortable" with. If something causes a little discomfort, they reject it - justifying it with ideas such as, "That must not be for us today" or "That was okay for them, but it doesn't make sense in today's culture". The problem with these 'views' is that we aren't going to do a great job of keeping each other on their toes when we don't have the same 'set of game rules' we are all playing from!

Whenever we limit our understanding of God by what we allow or disallow into our belief system, we create many little opportunities for deception, compromise, and a lack of spiritual growth. It is always a good thing to take what we believe and compare it with the resources we have at our disposal - the Word of God, the Holy Spirit resident within us, and our conscience - not to mention the wisdom of a great friend who is 'tuned in' with the Lord, as well. These things work together to provide us with what we need to ensure that we are not embracing thoughts, attitudes, or perceptions that are untrue, harmful, or sinful in any manner.

Look at what we are instructed in this passage - watch YOUR step, make sure there is NO evil unbelief, keep EACH OTHER on your toes, and keep your grip on what you STARTED out with. The idea is that of continual and unyielding vigilance. It takes a lot of effort to be aware of what we are allowing to affect our beliefs - there are so many inroads for the things that affect us. I am encouraged to note that our writer did not see us as "standing alone" in this process, though. He reminds us that it is a thing that we do TOGETHER. We are placed in a body of believers in order to help us to grow up into mature believers, complete in every way. My brothers and sisters in Christ act as tools to help me grow in Christ - some skillfully directing me toward areas where I need change, others encouraging me in areas where change has already begun, and still others working on the same things I am - changing is always better when someone is along for the journey. Whenever we take ourselves out of that place of accountability, we act as impediments to our growth. We are in a place where things of this world can begin to affect us, making us susceptible to being "tripped up" by sinful desires.

The body of Christ is the local church, and by extension, your small group that you might be involved with (a group of other believers, close to you, that you have committed to study with), work teams, and even close friendships. We may not "like" everyone at church, work, or even in our neighborhood, much less appreciate that God likes and loves them!!! Yet, they are there for a purpose. God knew we could not walk out this journey alone - so he gave us each other! Sometimes, the ones within our 'circles' we have the hardest time accepting, being around, or receiving anything from are those we need to learn from the most. They serve as tools to expose some of the "rough edges" in our own character that God needs to work on. So, the next time you think you don't need that person - think again. Sometimes, we don't see the potential in those relationships - but if we look close enough, we can find it. I have had more of my own habits, faults, and sharp edges exposed by some folks I thought couldn't contribute anything into my life!

We don't walk alone - remember to consider each relationship for its ultimate worth - iron sharpens iron, thorns prick and sometimes leave behind little places of 'rawness', and two make the journey less tedious. You may find yourself with a whole lot of iron or thorns right now. If you do, it is likely because you have need of that. Just remember, there is also someone divinely placed in your life to walk alongside to make the journey less tedious, as well. You don't walk alone! Just sayin!

Pluck that grey hair!

As kids, didn't we do a much better job "obeying" our parents when they were right there with us than when no one was looking?  The only probable exception was when we were with one of our friends' parents.  We acted like total angels around them, making our parents nearly nuts when they saw how perfectly we could act with them and how insanely disobedient we could be when we were at home!  The cookie jar was never a temptation when mom was  home - she'd have whipped me but good if I stole into that between meals. Yet, if she happened to be at work when I got home and the house was "free of parental supervision", I'd scour the pantry for chocolate chips, the candy jar for one or two hard candies, or the like.  Why?  No one was watching!  When someone was home, I was "monitored" for my obedience.  When no one was there, the "monitor" was gone.  At first, this may not seem like a big deal, but it was probably more important for me to be obedient when I wasn't being "watched"!  Why?  I was in the greatest place of temptation at those moments!

My dear friends, you always obeyed when I was with you. Now that I am away, you should obey even more. So work with fear and trembling to discover what it really means to be saved. God is working in you to make you willing and able to obey him. (Philippians 2:12-13 CEV)

The greatest place of temptation for us is as vast and varied as where we come from, how we were raised, what circumstances we have faced, and just how weak or strong we are at this very moment.  In fact, we go through "seasons" in our lives where one particular "tempting thought" may not even phase us, but in another time or place, it can almost be overwhelming.  Something happens when we lived "un-monitored" lives.  We move out from under a place of safety into some pretty grey areas - even into some pretty damaging ones at times.  So, the purpose of my bringing this up is pretty clear - we just cannot afford to step away from the "monitors" God has placed in our lives, because they are there to provide us with a safe "umbrella" under which we can avoid some pretty damaging stuff.

As children, our "monitors" were probably parents, teachers, older siblings, and even the neighbors' parents.  We grew up and a new set of "monitors" came into play - the boss, our local police authority, and even our government officials.  As we move into relationship with Christ, there are a different set of "monitors" introduced into our lives such as pastor, counselors, and small cell group friends.  Either way, the effect is similar - the "monitoring" modulates our behavior somewhat.  When the monitoring is cut off, the behavior may no longer have the same "modulation" - and this is the dangerous ground upon which we trod straight into temptation!

Yet, we cannot live "under monitoring" all our lives - at some point, we move into places where we are not under our parents' control, or even find ourselves faced with no one in which to confide our struggles.  When this occurs, we need some "inner modulation" in order to stand against the struggles and conflicts which temptation surely bring.  We actually need both the outward "modulation" and the inner.  Outwardly, we need each other - assisting each other to see things from the perspective of the outside looking in.  Inwardly, we need the Holy Spirit - assisting us with the inward perspective we so frequently cannot get a handle on all by ourselves.

In time, when we learn the value of both "monitors" in our lives - outward and inward - we come to understand the importance of relationships with one another and the cultivation of the relationship we have with Jesus.  We spur one another on when the going gets rough and through the faithfulness of coming alongside in times of difficulty, we actually help one another to navigate "hairy" territory in our lives with a greater sense of ease.  In getting a little "deeper" in our relationship with Jesus, through time spent in his Word, in worship, and in prayer, we find ourselves drawing closer to the anchoring force of his Spirit within. Maybe this is what Paul meant when he wrote we were supposed to "work with fear and trembling to discover what it really means to be saved".  It is this learning to "modulate" behaviors with the assistance of the various "tools" God places in our lives to help provide "monitoring" of our actions!

Through the faithfulness of friends helping me see the things I cannot see, I have learned to let go of things which are just damaging to my character.  In time, through the work of the Holy Spirit within and the faithfulness of friends standing with me in the battle, the subtle changes in character become more "ingrained" and I am able to consistently "behave" in a manner which helps me avoid the pitfalls of temptation.  This is accomplished because God is at work within - giving us the desire to actually change what we cannot see without his help!  The other day, a friend plucked a grey hair from my head.  Now, I have way to many for her to do it to all of them, but this one particular one was just totally being unruly and was sticking straight out!  I couldn't see it because it was at the back of my head.  As far as I knew, my hair was in position and I was ready for my day.  She helped me "see" what I could not!  

As silly as a grey hair standing on end may actually sound, it is an example of seeing what we may have missed for a long, long time.  That grey hair didn't get there overnight and it did not become "unruly" overnight either!  The same thing is true about temptation and sin in our lives - it doesn't get their overnight and it doesn't gain a foothold in our lives overnight either!  We need the help of others, and the Holy Spirit, to "monitor" where there are signs of compromise (unruliness in the making).  Just sayin!

Warning! Watch Your Step!

If someone were to tell me to "watch my step" I would begin to be very cautious about where it was I found my footing.  On many stairwells, passageways, hiking paths, and the like, we might encounter this warning. The advisory is put there for our safety - because the climb is steep, or the sudden change in "evenness" of the ground we are traveling is unpredictable. This is often the case as we traverse through this life, isn't it?  Some things are just harder than others; some might catch us a little unaware. Sometimes we might get our knees a little bunged up along the way - but trust me, it usually is not because we lacked the warnings!  We likely just didn't heed them!  God's plan is not to trip us up or wear us out on the journey, but to bring us to our next destination "unscathed" and "safe"!  

So watch your step, friends. Make sure there’s no evil unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God. For as long as it’s still God’s Today, keep each other on your toes so sin doesn’t slow down your reflexes. If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we’re in this with Christ for the long haul. (Hebrews 3:12-14 MSG)

There are more things in this daily walk with Jesus which actually serve as "tripping" points than we might imagine.  You see, Satan doesn't want heaven filled - he wants hell filled!  He wants companions in his eternal misery and doom - not a one of us escape his attempts to trip us up, or bring discouragement in our journey.  Maybe this is why we get the phrase "Misery loves company" - because no one wants to really endure doom and gloom all by themselves!  If we know this up front in our walk, then it is easier for us to be on the alert for the warning signs posted for us along the way.  If we know there might just be some "unevenness" meant to trip us up - giving all manner of a lack of predictability to our journey - we might just prepare for the journey, be on alert as we travel this path, and be sensitive to the warning posted!

Remember, none of these tripping points is put there by God - he doesn't put obstacles in our way - he removes them!  When we face obstacles in our path, it is either because we have put them there ourselves, or we are being challenged by the hosts of hell to not make the journey successfully.  How do we put obstacles in our own path?  It really isn't all that hard.  We might not prepare for the journey ahead, thinking we can just launch out into the unknown, and then we wonder why we stumble around a little.  Preparation means we align our hearts and minds with the heart and mind of Christ - we get with him on the matter at hand, allowing him to point us in the right direction we are to take.  We might do this with time in the Word, a little time in worshipful consideration of what we have learned, and then simply by asking him for his direction (not his advice).  There is a difference between asking for advice and then asking for direction.  One is optional, the other gets us to the destination!  Sometimes I think we treat God's warnings as "advice" rather than as imperatives in our lives - but whenever we do, we usually encounter some issue within the path!

The whole purpose of the pathway challenges (according to Satan's plan) is to divert us from God - it is a detour, but not one with a planned return to the original course we were traveling.  The detour he plans is designed to get us so off track we are basically lost in the process.  The whole purpose of pathway challenges (according to God) is to grow us up in our dependence upon him to protect, provide, and promote us.  He points out the hazards, reminding us to "watch our steps" - allowing him to "order" them - in order to protect us.  He also desires to provide for us - keeping us well in the journey and focused on what is best for us in the process.  All in all, he desires to "promote" us to a higher level of both dependence upon him and closeness to his heart.  In turn, we become stronger men and women, exemplifying the character of Christ more and more with each step.

Sin slows us down - and this whole idea of sin is what often is the tripping point in the journey.  Sin's little compromises are the small pebbles we stumble upon - but we almost always are looking for the huge rocks in our path.  The smallest pebble can turn the most unsuspecting ankle, causing unnecessary pain and suffering!  We don't want to focus just on the big stuff in our path - excluding the reminders to be alert to the small stuff.  We want to be aware of both.  Most importantly, we want to help each other out with this "alertness" to the hazards in our path.  This is what some refer to as holding each other accountable.  In the most literal sense, it is one watching the steps of another, being alert to the smallest hazards, as well as the glaring boulders!  We often don't see the little hazards - for we focus too far ahead in the path.  One walking alongside can see the place we are about to walk better than we sometimes can - heeding their warnings is often the very thing we need the most!

We all start out this Christian walk with the same "stuff" for the journey.  God doesn't "slight" any of us and then "embellish" someone else.  In fact, he loves all equally and unconditionally.  He provides for all equally and abundantly.  He responds to all equally and with absolute authority.  The path may be different - but our provision and source are the same.  I cannot overlook the importance of "companions" in this journey.  No man or woman is truly an island unto themselves.  We might think we can walk alone, but trust me on this - I have tried it and it doesn't work.  I need the one next to me in this journey!  I need their constant reminders and their warnings.  In fact, God put them there just for this purpose - so why not embrace their presence as a provision directly from the hand of God?   Just sayin!

Walk with, not on

Yesterday we explored a little about being egocentric and how Christ changes our focus from "self-centered" to "other-centered" as he begins to become the object of our affection and attention.  As we begin today, we will consider how this change in "center" really is manifest in our lives.  Anytime we make a change in our position, we also change our focus.  Try it - turn around right where you are right now and try to see the screen of your computer from that position.  It is most difficult to see the screen with our head turned toward it, right?  It is also most difficult for us to see ourselves as the center of attention when we turn our eyes toward the face of Jesus.  Instead of beholding ourselves, we begin to behold the creator of all things.  This simple realization of position determining our focus helps us make great strides as it comes to laying down the stuff which really only matters to us and taking up the stuff which begins to reach others, ministering to the depth of their needs.

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. (Philippians 2:1-4 MSG)

Our "list" starts with learning to be agreeable.  I emphasize this as a teachable quality as not all of us are very skilled at being agreeable - especially when we have the focus on ourselves instead of the other person. When we make this shift in focus from self to others, we also are challenged with putting the "agendas" we hold behind us in respect for the needs of others.  Really the focus here is living without discord - to not find the stuff you could "nit-pick" about the other guy or gal.  This is probably one of the most difficult things for us since we almost always can find fault with the "other guy".  Truth be told, they can find fault with us, too!  Learning to get along with each other - to live above discord - is almost an art.  It is possible, but it begins with the change in focus - moving from seeing self first to seeing the needs, opinions, and beliefs of others before you jump to conclusions as to what they intend and believe.

As much as being agreeable will go a long way to changing how it is we interact in our community of relationships, learning to be truly loving is something which escapes a great many.  We have this warped idea of love having strings attached - of us doing things to get things.  Don't get me wrong, because we come into this world demanding our own way - cry and you get fed, cry and your diaper is changed, cry and you get held.  We kind of learn this "doing something gets us something" attitude.  So, later in life when we come to Christ, it is kind of like "undoing" some bad habits.  We need to keep in mind that our needs are met in Christ and no one meets them more perfectly than he does.  They are not met by our doing, but by his.  They are not met because we demand of him, but because he loved us enough to prepare for our every need.  Learning to see love as given without strings is part and parcel with what God expects of his kids.

When we are challenged to be "deep-spirited friends", we might be a little curious how this actually happens.  God isn't after us just flitting around from relationship to relationship, but rather "locking into" some relationships which matter and within which we can build a sense of accountability.  Not only do we benefit from this, but each one involved in these deeper relationships benefits from the inter-connection, as well.  Deep-spirited friends challenge others to grow, not because they wield some sense of power over them, but because iron sharpens iron.  We benefit from having to work on tough issues together, being open and transparent with each other about struggles, and then holding each up when times are rough.

Two very important reminders are provided next which speak about genuineness within relationship and the view we have of others.  Those who use "sweet talk" or flattery are insincere.  Their aim is still themselves - they want to make themselves look good, or to endear themselves to someone without the genuine concern for the relationship.  Those who push their way to the top are not concerned about those they walk over on their way up. Both traits are damaging to community relationship.  These traits are common in those whose focus in internal, but when our focus turns toward the eyes of Jesus, we begin to see how damaging continuing in these practices can be. We begin to see others as Jesus sees them and he didn't walk on others, nor did he push his way to the top.

The long and short of the message is to take a look outside of yourself and consider the needs of others first.  This doesn't mean we neglect the things which give us anchor in life - like personal time in the Word, prayer, etc.  It does mean we don't consider our needs as more important than those of others and that we don't take advantage of others.  Most importantly, it means we begin to take the focus off ourselves and see how we "fit" in the big picture of this community God has placed us within.  Just sayin!

You a loner?

Let me ask you a tough question this morning.  Do you consider yourself a "loner"?  Most of us would jump to our own defense to immediately deny being a loner, but I really want us to consider this one a little more carefully than a casual answer.  Most of the time, we consider someone a "loner" when we see them isolate or insulate themselves from relationship with others, but scripture might just shed a little light on some other characteristics of these individuals.  The primary characteristic is that of "doing our own thing".  This might just describe us a little more than we'd like to admit at first, but if we were honest, we all have times when we are more concerned with "our own thing" than the good of the "group"!

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way. (Colossians 3:15-17 MSG)

We think of a loner as someone who avoids the company of another, or prefers to be alone.  There are always going to be times when we prefer to be alone, simply because we need to regenerate our emotional or physical strength.  To live this way all the time is just not practical, though.  We need each other to "sharpen" our character.  When we isolate, we avoid conflict.  To avoid conflict short term may keep us out of the "emotional soup" we seek to avoid, but it is creating an emotional hole from which we may not fully dig out if we allow this isolation to continue too long.

Why do we go off to do our own thing?  Usually it is because we have the belief our way is the best way - our solution to the issue is the best solution. This is not always the case, though.  When we settle in on just our own solution to an issue, we often miss out on the synergy that is created when a problem is open for the "group" to address.  This is the power of small groups (also known as cell groups).  They provide an atmosphere where it is okay to begin to examine the issues we face and then get the "read" of the group on how it is we can best handle what life is sending our way.

When we are involved in the lives of others, we are doing exactly as God intended - we are being the iron which sharpens the iron of another's character.  Now, a word of caution here - we are not to be their conscience, nor their "leader" to whom they submit all their life decisions to in order to garner support.  We ARE to be engaged with each other, though, so that we hold each other accountable, not allowing the other to slip into patterns of behavior which are destructive or contrary to what the Word defines as "safe" for us.

In small group relationships, it is easiest to allow every detail of our lives - words, actions, and the "whatever" - to be looked at through the eyes of those who care about our success in this walk with Jesus.  When we isolate, we avoid the "care" another may provide in the "tending" of the fruit of our actions.  To walk alone is to truly allow oneself to be without restraint - for our own actions will almost always seem okay to us, but could be clearly in defiance to what God outlines as specifically "wrong" for his kids.

If we find we have been a little too guilty of just going off to do our own thing, maybe it is time we re-establish our relationships with one another.  In those moments of accountability, we are subject to change which could make all the difference in helping us realize the potential God has for our lives vs. ending up falling way short of full potential.  Just sayin!

You have family?

There are times when the time it takes to engage in what you might see as "necessary" confrontation is sometimes just not worth it, or it seems to come back to reflect badly on you somehow.  These are usually the times when you are attempting to say something to someone just not willing to hear anything which might be shared - especially if it is against whatever they are thinking at the moment.  In those times, it is almost better to hold your peace than to attempt to engage in any kind of "confrontation" with them.  Why?  They aren't going to hear you!  Their mind is set - their attitude is determined - their choices have been made.  No amount of "help" from us is going to change the one who just cannot accept they need "help" in the first place! The cynic sees all "outside" help as really being offered from some kind of selfish motivation - believing no one could be interested in the outcome of another's life unless there was something the "helper" could benefit from as a result.  It can be tremendously frustrating to know you have insight which will change something for someone if they will just embrace it, but they are just too set in their ways to see things any differently than the plan they have set into motion in their minds.  In those moments, we just need to step back, continue to hold the individual up in prayer before God, but save our words - they won't be heard anyway.

If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you’ll get slapped in the face; confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.  So don’t waste your time on a scoffer; all you’ll get for your pains is abuse.  But if you correct those who care about life, that’s different—they’ll love you for it! Save your breath for the wise—they’ll be wiser for it; tell good people what you know—they’ll profit from it.  Skilled living gets its start in the Fear-of-God, insight into life from knowing a Holy God.  It’s through me, Lady Wisdom, that your life deepens, and the years of your life ripen.  Live wisely and wisdom will permeate your life; mock life and life will mock you. (Proverbs 9:7-12 MSG)

We need to become "skilled" at living - something we gain through developing a deep, intimate relationship with Jesus.  The wise seem to delight in what it is you can offer into their lives - so your "breath" is better served assisting them grow closer in their relationship with Jesus than it would be in trying to talk sense into a fool.  The difference between the fool and the wise is their willingness to embrace the truth when it is shared.  The fool has a hard time seeing any truth outside of their own mindset - as good or as flawed as that mindset may be - they are sticking to it because they know it and are comfortable with it.  Don't try to figure out the foolish - they will repeat the same mistakes, engage in the same destructive behaviors, and never once think there is any link between the way they have set their minds and the outcome of their actions.  The only one to "connect the dots" for the fool is God himself - he has to change their heart in order to begin to affect their minds.  Heart change is a matter best left up to God himself - we just live as positive examples and then pray like crazy for their heart change.

So, where is it we should invest our wisdom?  Isn't it clear that our wisdom is best shared with those who will embrace it?  Those desiring to see their life deepen are open to embracing the wisdom of truth applied in the life of another.  They see the hope of a changed life as something to be embraced, not shunned because they believe there is an ulterior motive behind it.  God doesn't give us wisdom to hold up just for ourselves - in fact, he intends for us to share it with those who will benefit from it right along with us!  To learn a truth is one thing - to put it into application in our lives and see our lives changed as a result is another.  To share both the truth and the potential of change it affords is the call upon each of our lives.  God doesn't ask for us to be stingy with the grace we have been given, but to give it away over and over again until all who can benefit from it have had a chance to grab hold and make it their own.  Unfortunately, the foolish don't always see the potential in truth embraced, so don't spend all your time trying to "convince" them of the truth.  The Holy Spirit has that job - yours is just to live as an example and then to uphold the foolish before God in prayer.

Instruct the wise and they will grow wiser.  Teach the righteous and they will learn even more.  Maybe this is the power of small groups - the wise and the righteous coming together to receive instruction and teaching.  We cannot underestimate the wisdom in what we have learned by practical application of the truth of God in our lives.  Each revelation and subsequent victory in our lives is not just a potential place of rejoicing - it is a potential opportunity for another to latch onto something they have been searching for in their own lives.  For a long time, I didn't see the importance of small groups, but I do now.  I understand the accountability factor, but I also understand the potential growth afforded when real people come together in real settings and just remain "real".  At church, we tend to put on our "pretty church faces" and make it look like we have life by the tail.  In our homes, it may be quite a different face we display and if we were truthful, we feel like life is biting at our tail!  The small group experience is a place where we can let our guard down and get real with others.

Another alternative to the small group experience is the development of a couple of close relationships where you can hold each other accountable.  It has to be the kind of relationship where you can be yourself, complete with your fears and failures, without fear.  Either small group relationships, or these close friendships can function as accountability relationships.  Some may be more comfortable at first with getting truthfully honest with one before they launch into the group experience.  Both help us to grow when we make a point of committing to each other, praying for each other, sharing the Word, and then living as examples of grace in the other person's life.  We have to find what works for us - they commit to it.  The wise find great value in this type of accountability - knowing having this kind of "sounding board" and "feedback loop" is important.  Small groups and accountability relationships do more than merely share the Word of God over coffee and snacks - they build family relationships!  In a world where family is sometimes not very well valued, or very well "constructed", maybe we underestimate the potential of these relationships.  Nothing helps us grow more than to be true to who we are, allowing the life of another touch ours deeply, and then grow in the truth together.  Just sayin!

Get up and get moving!

God values a pure heart and gracious speech.  A pure heart speaks of purity of emotions and intellect.  Most of us struggle with this just because of all the "influence" we experience from the stuff working overtime to bombard our brains with input.  Guarding what gets IN affects what will indeed eventually come OUT.  Gracious speech speaks of the words which some might call "tactful" - marked by kindness, courtesy, and mercy.  In other words, they reveal genuine compassion.  These words are pleasing and bring "satisfaction" to he ears of the one hearing them.  We see God speak often of the condition of the heart and the outflow of the mouth - linking the outflow to what has first been cultivated by what we take in.

God loves the pure-hearted and well-spoken; good leaders also delight in their friendship.  God guards knowledge with a passion, but he’ll have nothing to do with deception.  Young people are prone to foolishness and fads; the cure comes through tough-minded discipline.  (Proverbs 22:11-12, 15 MSG)

Sandwiched in between many of these proverbs for living, God intersperses the frequent warnings against laziness.  To "guard" means we have to pay attention, on purpose, all of the time.  Any form of laziness on our part will provide an opportunity for either an attack on our emotions, a wandering of our minds, or the relationship disasters caused by words spoken in haste, out of season, or just without thinking.  Laziness is really any form of inactivity which has a negative outcome in our lives.  You might be able to judge if you are being "lazy" by the excuses you find yourself making when something happens, or when you are standing there empty-handed.

It is part of human nature to make excuses for our inactivity, especially when it is revealed by what we lack in some regard.  Excuses have a way of making us look good in our own eyes, but they seldom change the opinion of the one hearing them.  Excuses are just a subtle way of trying to shift the blame - or even remove it totally - but seldom accomplish this very well.  Really, anytime we offer an excuse for our laziness, we are just trying to shift the blame for our lack of progress to someone else - or some circumstance "beyond our control".  Excuses are just a way of revealing a lack of good judgment.  

When a life lacks prudence or good judgment, instruction and correction are needed in order to get that life back on course.  Discipline actually assist us in moving away from our posture of laziness and into a posture of positive action once again.  Folly is fun for a while, but eventually there is very little to show for our squandered time, talent, and treasure.  It becomes excessively costly to make excuses for any length of time, because what is lost may never be able to be made up again.  

The wise are often those who are giving the undisciplined instruction.  Why? They have learned the importance of living BEYOND excuses.  Their life has found a path of consistency - consistent people reveal a credibility in their actions and speech.  The wise have learned the importance of having God's word close at hand.  This is accomplished by consistent study and exposure to the truths which begin to settle deep within - taking root where excuses once held ground.  The word is not only instructional in nature, but it is "prodding". By it, we are moved into action when inactivity beckons us.  

The wise also recognize the ability of God's word to bring us to a place of trust.  Inactivity will produce nothing of this sort in our lives, for we cannot trust a crumbling foundation.  That which is maintained will remain strong - that which is allowed to just "coast" will eventually crumble.  The word is filled with all kinds of advice and knowledge - but if must be mined.  This is where the rub comes for the lazy - there is work involved in mining.  Effort has to be expended to both lay a good foundation and to maintain it.  As long as we make excuses and complain about the effort, we will never be developing deeper trust.  Trust is based on truth - truth is mined from God's word.  

Listen carefully to my wisdom; take to heart what I can teach you.  You’ll treasure its sweetness deep within; you’ll give it bold expression in your speech.  To make sure your foundation is trust in God, I’m laying it all out right now just for you.  I’m giving you thirty sterling principles—tested guidelines to live by.  Believe me—these are truths that work, and will keep you accountable...  (Proverbs 22:17-21 MSG)

Listening requires being attentive - on purpose, in the moment.  Taking teaching to heart requires getting up off our fannies and doing what the word says.  The promise to those who are willing to move beyond excuses - a bold expression in what we proclaim with our mouths - because what comes out has first been put in!  Here's the best part - when we stop making excuses for how "tough" it is to understand God's word, truthfully beginning to explore what we can understand right now, then allowing God to unfold what we just "don't get", we will be developing a foundation by which our actions begin to change.

In turn, we come to a place of realizing the truths contained in the word are actually reliable - they are tested and can be counted on to produce what they are intended to produce.  Some will build our faith.  Others will challenge us to lay down our pride.  Still others will hold us accountable for either our inaction or our improper action.  This is probably the biggest reason why we avoid the word of God - we don't want to be held accountable.  It is also the reason we need to make a beeline to it without haste!  Just sayin!

Which side of the fence are you on?

In conversation today, you might hear words such as accountability and responsibility.  Newscasters speculate about who will be held accountable for certain actions.  Others postulate about what responsibility some aspect of society had for the actions of another.  Yet so many times, there is very little reference to the actions of one being called into account simply on their own merit.  We see shooters destroy innocent lives - then blame the lack of gun control as the "responsible" party.  When "breaking down" the influencing factors in the shooter's life, we gravitate toward what the parents did or didn't do, who should have recognized the mental health issues apparent in the shooter's life, etc.  We rarely gravitate to the place of saying this man or woman was totally accountable for their own actions.  Why?  Society today seems to want to "share" accountability and responsibility for the actions of individuals - not because they want to "own up" to the ugliness of the actions, but because there is some sense society "failed" the individual.  This may be true in a sense, but ultimately we are all held accountable for our own actions.  We don't stand on the merits of another - unless those merits are those of Christ in us.

The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they’ll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!  (Revelation 3:19 MSG)

The Church of Laodicea is being "called into account" in this passage, but the message rings true to the individual believer, as well.  The issue as Jesus puts it is the believer is neither hot nor cold.  They are lukewarm - tepid at best.  In other words, they have not decided which side of the fence they want to stand on.  They have a foot on each side, so to speak.  On one side is the independent way of life - managing one's own life, choosing one's own destiny, living pretty foot-loose and fancy-free.  On the other side, in direct contrast, is the dependent life - not on society, but on Christ.  The situation as Jesus sees it is the issue of "staleness" or "stagnancy".  The one who is neither hot nor cold is really at a place of "staleness" in their lives.  

The ones who "ride the fence" really don't want accountability in their lives - they want to be able to choose the "side" based on the circumstances they are presented with.  If the offer on one side seems beneficial, they choose it over the other.  Then, as quickly as they might have chosen one action, they might determine the action did not produce the results they hoped for, so they "swing" to the other side.  It is both difficult to see oneself as responsible for the choices we make, nor accountable for the outcomes of those choices, when we are "swinging" back and forth all the time.  We have very little stability.

Don't lose sight of what Jesus says about these "fence-sitters".  He calls them the people he loves.  I don't think we realize how much Jesus loves those who have allowed stagnancy, or provided a way for the heart to grow stale, almost cold.  He loves them so much that he calls them to an "accounting" of their actions.  If you struggle over that one, let it sink in a while.  God loves the cold heart enough to prod it, correct it, and guide it back into warm and passionate pursuit again.  He brings the one who has drifted into lazy repose, resting on the ease of complacency, into lively pursuit.  He gets them back on their feet - turns them squarely around - then calls them to him.  

In order to pursue, there has to be an accounting of the present condition.  The one standing squarely on the "wrong side" of the fence must take responsibility for where they stand.  The one riding the fence, neither in nor out, is called to account - it is in making a choice to be "answerable" for the place we find ourselves that we take the first step in the right direction.  It is in choosing to stand not in our own merit, but in and upon the merit of another, Jesus Christ, that we find our life doing an "about-face".  It is in turning, we come face-to-face with the one who will turn up the heat in our lives - bringing us to a place of "full-boil" - disturbing both our stagnancy and staleness.

Jesus uses three terms:  Prod - Correct - Guide.  First, he prods - in order to stir us from our complacency.  Then, he corrects - not to point out the "wrong", but to "make true" what he sees in each of us.  He sees what he is in us, not what we are in ourselves.  In other words, in the removing of the errors and faults of our sin, he places himself squarely into those gaping holes in our character.  When he sees us, he sees himself - not the errors of our ways.  Last, he guides - taking us through what is unfamiliar and sometimes a little uncomfortable to us.  These three actions belong to him.  Yet, before all of these actions, there stands one action which belongs to us.  We become accountable for where we stand.  We take responsibility.  In this moment, we no longer stand on our own merit, but fully walk into the merit of the one who calls us into this place of accounting.  

Where there is complacency, there is opportunity for staleness and stagnancy to overtake every aspect of our lives.  The call is to take account of what we are producing - if it lacks life and vitality, we may just be on the wrong side of the fence!  Just sayin!

Vigilant friend

I saw a post on Facebook last evening which gave me a moment to pause.  In the story, there is a photo of a marine in his dress uniform, standing at attention, in the middle of a hospital ward.  Now, this alone gave me chills.  As a nurse, I have seen a whole lot of people keep "vigil" over the ill, but nothing quite like this.  The story is worth the read, so I included the link at the end of the blog in case you'd like to read it.  In general, the story involved a young boy fighting leukemia since he was 22 months of age.  His basis for hope in the battle was his constant inspiration of the US Marine Corps.  He found courage for the battle - fighting several recurrences of his disease into remission.  He was honored by the US Marine Corps for his fight and his determination.  But...one man went above and beyond in "honoring" this young man.  His story is included in the link.

When you go to war against your enemy and see horses and chariots and soldiers far outnumbering you, do not recoil in fear of them; God, your God, who brought you up out of Egypt is with you. When the battle is about to begin, let the priest come forward and speak to the troops. He’ll say, “Attention, Israel. In a few minutes you’re going to do battle with your enemies. Don’t waver in resolve. Don’t fear. Don’t hesitate. Don’t panic. God, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win.”  (Deuteronomy 20:1-4 The Message)

There are all kinds of "wars" we might engage in as life unfolds, aren't there? The battle does not need to be physical - one army against another.  It may be as evasive as a battle of our emotions, or as plain as a battle between our determination to get something done our way against the desires of another.  It could be the battle for truth, when untruth seems to have clouded the truth in our lives.  For many, the battle is one of hope in the midst of a crippling, destructive disease.  Regardless of the battle, we see several consistent things.  The battle of our minds may be the hardest one to fight - simply because we don't "know" the enemy at times.

The battle brings us face-to-face with some "enemy".  No battle is ever fought with only one "side".  As a child, I thought the saying, "It takes two to tango" really was "It takes two to TANGLE".  In hearing this saying, I thought people were saying both parties had to have their feet dug in and their hands up, ready to swing.  In reality, what is being said is there is always another side to the battle.  It may be our own mind, but when our thoughts are at the center of the battle, believe me this is a tough enemy to face!  The enemy we "face" may be moving in opposite (opposing) direction to the way we wish to move - hence, the comparison to the tango.  In the tango, two move at times in tandem, at others, they are in opposition.  This is the same with the battle in our minds.  Sometimes, we get things moving in the same direction, then seem to realize we are moving in opposition again.  At times, we just "see" the influence of the enemy, but don't really understand the direction it is taking us!  So, when faced with an enemy, the first thing we need to know is what direction we may be headed.  

Knowing the direction our "enemy" will take may be easier for us to interpret in some of our battles - such as when we can actually see a punch coming in a hand-to-hand fight, or understand we are in for a fight when dealing with a life-altering disease.  In most of our battles which transpire in the mind, as with many life-altering diseases, we don't "see" the enemy clearly.  Interpreting the next move may be more difficult, as a result.  This is how we get caught off-guard so many times!  Especially in the battle within our minds.

This last week, I had a day where I just could not break free of a particular "funk" I was in.  No matter how hard I tried, I just was in a low place.  I could not seem to put my finger on what "enemy" I was facing.  It was pulling me deeper into negativity, causing my responses to be quite short, and my actual "feelings" to be even darker.  Now, some may say I was facing depressive thoughts - but I don't think it was this concrete.  In fact, as I took the next day to "break free" of this dark influence, I eventually came to realize I really had no "name" for it!  Maybe it was a combination of some out of whack hormones, building tensions as deadlines approach for an important project where changes are forth-coming, and the fact I have a tendency to "over-work" things in my mind.  I don't really know - but I do know it was influencing me to the point others noticed!

In fact, I have a great friend who helped hold me accountable for my behavior.  Thank goodness!  It was her reminder of my "inconsistencies" between my actions of the moment and my desired lifestyle which caused her to let me know I was being "pulled under".  It hit me hard when she first told me, but it was by her holding me accountable that I began to determine in my heart and mind to face this "enemy" and put an end to "it".  I wonder if this is why God planned for the Israelites to bring the priests before them each time they went into battle against some enemy?  Maybe it was the importance of the priests reminding them of the purpose of their lives as dedicated unto the Lord Most High which would help them keep a right perspective in the battle.  Maybe it was their words which turned their eyes to the one who would protect them and bring them out of the battle safely.  I think maybe both are true.

In facing the battles of our lives, I think we need help at times seeing the "enemy" as it rears its ugly head.  Sometimes the enemy is evident - but when it is not, we need the faithfulness of companions in the battle to help us see perspective.  I am glad to report, the enemy is slain!  I still don't know the cause of the oppressive and negative thoughts which were pulling me under, but I do know the faithfulness of a great God who is far stronger than any enemy we face in our minds!  And...I know the faithfulness of a great friend who "stood vigil" over me that day - helping to bring the battle into perspective!  All I can say is - awesome!

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Blunder Buddies!

^12-14So watch your step, friends. Make sure there's no evil unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God. For as long as it's still God's Today, keep each other on your toes so sin doesn't slow down your reflexes. If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we're in this with Christ for the long haul.

(Hebrews 3:12-14)

We are inundated with signs all around us as we walk, drive, shop, and play.  The crosswalk advises us to walk or stay.  The road signs advise of speed limits, hazards in the road, and delays in traffic.  The store shelves and windows boast of huge savings and new products.  The images of toned bodies pull us into places where our bodies can be firmed, sculpted, and beautified.  We "take in" the signs in our path and process them - some consciously, and others quite unconsciously.

If I describe for you that yellow plastic sign with the little man (one foot in the air, one on the ground, arms outstretched) and black lettering upon it - what would you say was the purpose of the sign?  Most of us just guessed right - it is the caution sign put out when the floors are wet.  We are being "warned" to watch our step.  Here we have a passage from the Book of Hebrews that begins with that very same warning - watch your step, because it is easier to get "tripped up" than we might realize!

The idea of stumbling is represented here - the going along just fine until all of a sudden something in our path makes us stagger and possibly fall.  It is the idea of making a "slip" in how we normally respond - acting out of what is common character for us.  For example, most of the time I can be pretty laid back, intuitive and introspective about life's challenges.  Then, almost without warning, one hits me hard and I respond with fear, edginess, and doubt.  What made the difference here?  It is often something as simple as being "tripped up" by what was right in front of us that we just did not notice.

Most of the time, we get "tripped up" because we just did not notice the signs all around us.  We had plenty of "warning" of the impending "obstacle" or "hazard" in our path, but we simply did not pay attention.  At other times, we just don't heed the warnings!  We think that they don't apply in this situation. Both of these responses to the "signs" are equally dangerous for us.  Being in a situation in which stumbling is likely means that we are walking unsteadily - we have the opportunity to slip or blunder.

So, what is the remedy?  Well, it is pretty clear from the passage - we keep each other from "blundering"!  You and I need "blunder buddies".  There is strength in numbers.  I may not see the warning signs - but you might.  You might not recognize the dangers in your path - but I can.  When we are faithful to hold each other accountable - pointing out in love what we so desperately need to pay attention to - we both benefit.  You are made stronger - I am made stronger.  

I have a dear friend who walks around the wet floor signs - faithfully!  I guess I am just a little less cautious - I plow ahead, looking at the floor, observing for wet spots.  Why is that?  She believes the signs mean what they say!  I think they may have been there a while and just don't apply any longer!  Why does she trust them?  Maybe it is because she has nearly fallen.  You never know - the one who points out the sign may have insights beyond your own!

Slips, mistakes, and blunders cost us dearly.  Isn't it good to know that God has given us others with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mouth to share what we cannot, or simply refuse to see or hear?  Each blunder in life "slows us down" - we have to regroup from those blunders.  Regrouping takes time and energy that would be best spent on other things.  When we avoid the blunder in the first place, it is much better.