Thanks for the advice

Some people like to do things their own way, and they get upset when people give them advice. Fools don’t want to learn from others. They only want to tell their own ideas. (Proverbs 18:1-2)

Some people just cannot see any other solution to their issue than what they can manage to come up with in their own minds or through their own power. To suggest something outside of that imagined solution somehow makes you the "crazy one" in the equation! There is much danger in being so determined to just do things our own way, though. In many circumstances, the way we determine to be the "best" or "right" may just be the easiest and present the least resistance. I know I have chosen this option more than a few times, only to find out that the easiest "up front" isn't always the easiest on the "back end". My pride kept me from finding out if there was an "easier" or "better" way other than what my mind could muster on its own.

Sometimes pride determines the course we take whenever we are faced with something a bit "over our heads". We might think we have a solution, but pride keeps us from asking if we are even on the right track! Pride is one of the most limiting things we can face - probably more limiting than just about any other issue in our lives. Why? Pride limits our ability to see any other solution to life's issue than our own - it is our way, or the highway. We don't even look for another solution because we have our minds and hearts so wrapped around what we believe to be best that we almost shut out any other possibilities. Pride escalates one's ideas and beliefs to the place of superiority and shuts down any other idea or belief not completely like one's own. 

There is a tell-tale sign one is experiencing some issue with pride in their life. When you are presented with another solution to what is front of you, do you immediately reject it as "wrong" or "unworthy" of your time or attention? Do you even stop to consider any other way than your own? There are times when we want this immediate rejection of ideas - like when they are totally wrong or violate God's commands. For example, if someone says the way to get to work sooner is to just be a ding-dong of a driver on the road and weave furiously in and out of traffic until you nearly run every driver off the road, you might want to reject that one! On the other hand, if someone tells you to set your alarm 15 minutes earlier and avoid hitting the snooze button five times, you might want to give that one some consideration. 

Some of what we imagine is "right" or "good" may not be "bad" - it just may not be what is best in the moment. We need to first weigh what we are about to do against God's commands - if it is okay there, it is likely okay for us to pursue. Then if the scripture doesn't give us any real clear advice on the matter, we have to rely upon conscience - something a little less reliable. When another comes alongside to give us advice, we weigh it against scripture and our conscience. If it doesn't violate either, we might do well to give it consideration. We may never know when that "teachable moment" may occur which actually helps us move beyond something we've been struggling with for a while! Just sayin!

Advice or Truth

Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. (Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

Dear friend, take my advice; it will add years to your life. I’m writing out clear directions to Wisdom Way, I’m drawing a map to Righteous Road. I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys, or wasting time making wrong turns. Hold tight to good advice; don’t relax your grip. Guard it well—your life is at stake! Don’t take Wicked Bypass; don’t so much as set foot on that road. Stay clear of it; give it a wide berth. Make a detour and be on your way. (Proverbs 4:10-15)

Is it possible wisdom could add years to our lives? If we believe what God says, then it quite possibly could! When someone tells you something in such a way that it 'lingers' for a while in your thoughts, it might just be the thing they have shared has some significant meaning. It could be a warning to not proceed based on something they have already figured out, or it could be they encourage your next steps because they hear your heart behind the vision you share. When advice comes in the form of a warning, we might not like to heed it, but when it 'settles in' and begins to build up over and over again in our minds, we might just want to hold tight to it!

God's whole intent in giving us his Word was for us to have a 'road map' to show us the way to live life within the boundaries he has established. There are far too many times we treat God's Word as 'good advice', then go our own way without really considering carefully what he has said. This is part of our stubborn human nature - we don't think we need to heed the warnings. Self-willed and self-directed individuals don't want anyone (even God) telling them the way they should live. God may 'deliver' his Word in a bunch of ways, but the more that Word dwells upon our hearts, the more God wants us to heed it. Why? The longer it 'dwells' and the more it 'builds', the greater the chances are that it will break us free from some evil intent that we didn't even know existed within us.

We must never treat God's word as nothing more than 'good advice'. Why? Man's advice is an 'opinion' that is offered to guide our actions, but it can be rejected. God's word is offered as truth and truth does more than offer an opinion - it offers a solid foundation upon which we can stand when all else seems to be crumbling around us. Truth is unchanging - it stands the test of time. Truth is indisputable - it remains valid no matter how many times you test it. Truth is undeniable - the facts are right there for us to discover and hold onto. Advice or truth - which will you choose to heed? The more you heed truth, the less you will find yourself taking 'Wicked Bypass'. The more truth dwells in your heart, the less you will even be tempted to 'detour' from God's best for your life. Just sayin!

Life Hack #10 - I Pity the Fool

Life Hack #10:

We all need advice on occasion, while we stand ready to give it on others. Sometimes it is quite welcomed, and at others it is resented and rejected because it was totally unwanted. Most advice comes with a little bit of opinion attached, but it could also be a statement of truth which is difficult to ignore. Advice is really any opinion or recommendation offered as a guide for action or conduct. We see someone about to perform a particular action or exhibit conduct which will result in harm to them or another, and our immediate response may be to offer some "advice" to not do it. Have you ever noticed that we are quick to offer advice, but sometimes quite slow to accept it? It is much easier to offer an opinion than it is to accept the recommendations of that someone on the outside looking into our lives!

Don’t bother talking sense to fools; they’ll only poke fun at your words. (Proverbs 23:9)

We mull over advice in our brains, then we figure out how to use the advice to keep us on the straight and narrow. The fool will reject advice as it is offered, never taking the time to mull it over. The words fall on deaf ears, so to speak, even when it is solid wisdom being shared. We may deliver a message with all the good sense we can muster, but it will not penetrate the heart or mind of anyone with a mindset determined to do their own thing anyway. How open are we to receiving what God gives us through the mouths of those he places in our lives? 

Regretfully, there are times we play the "fool" because we just won't open up to the possibilities of another being "right". We limit the learning we could receive because we aren't willing to consider the other person's opinion or recommendation. A word of caution here - not all advice is really worth us taking hold of, but I do think there is a way to determine if advice is "solid" and applicable to our lives. We need to be open to the recommendations of those God places in our lives. They help to hold us accountable sometimes by the advice they are offering. A fool will reject this advice as "not applicable" or "nonsense" simply because they are either not willing to do the research to see if it is sound advice, or they are too determined to do their own thing. Either way, the one unwilling to receive what God may be offering through another is indeed playing the part of a fool.

As we consider the advice we receive from others, we need to keep in mind there are several precautionary measures we should take. 1) Does it line up with scripture? If not, it is wise to reject it as nothing more than an opinion which God does not intend for us to embrace. We should consider it in light of what we know to be true about God and his principles, see if it applies to us, and then embrace it if it does. 2) Does it confirm what we already know to be true? There are times when we have an urgency within us to do something, but either because of fear or reluctance, we are holding back. When advice or recommendation comes which confirms this as the direction we are to be taking, knowing full-well it aligns with scripture, and confirms what God has already been trying to speak into our lives, we should step up. No "advice" should be embraced if it is "news" to us - we need to think long and hard before we just accept it at face value. Confirm it with the scripture, seek God's direction, and maybe even the counsel of another believer to see if they agree.

The fool is within all of us - we all play the part well at times. Our best laid plans and fickleness of heart lend to some pretty foolish actions on occasion. When we hear clearly the soundness of God's wisdom from another, we need to be open enough to listen carefully, consider it in light of the truth we have been given, and if it applies, embrace it. Just sayin!

I had pretty smart parents

 Pay close attention, friend, to what your father tells you; never forget what you learned at your mother’s knee. Wear their counsel like a winning crown, like rings on your fingers. Dear friend, if bad companions tempt you, don’t go along with them... Oh, friend, don’t give them a second look; don’t listen to them for a minute. They’re racing to a very bad end, hurrying to ruin everything they lay hands on... When you grab all you can get, that’s what happens: the more you get, the less you are. (Proverbs 1:8-9)

As I was growing up, I remember that time around my teen years when I began to think I knew more than my parents. Somewhere around the age of 21 or so, magically my parents became the smartest people on the planet again! How did that happen? My parents didn't get 'magically smarter' - they were pretty doggone smart all along - I was the goofy one thinking I didn't need their advice and wisdom. The advice and wisdom they possessed wasn't 'book-learned' - it was experience bred. They had been down the road already and had looked back at some of their own misadventures, knowing exactly where they should have avoided the potholes! Both are gone from this earth now, but their wisdom lives on in my heart, escaping from time to time in tiny tears of memory as my heart hurts to no longer be able to hear that wise counsel. If I could tell teenagers something I learned along the way, I'd have to say it was the intensity of the love and grace of a loving parent outweighs any thrill we will ever enjoy by following our own devices!

As we consider our passage this morning, I want to call our attention to the last statement: "When you grab all you can get, that’s what happens: the more you get, the less you are." This was the one lesson it took me the longest to learn, despite all the warning my parents gave and encouragement to avoid those potholes. Grab all you can get - it is a pretty common philosophy of our culture, isn't it? Get more - even when you don't really need it. The more you get - the less you ARE. That is the lesson that took me the longest to learn - you actually become LESS by getting more. The word 'are' really describes the state of 'being'. We 'become' what we go after, but if the things we pursue are empty and vain promises, we will actually become less in the end. If the thing we pursue is Christ, the 'are' that we become will be 'more', but it will also be 'less'.

We become less self-centered, more other-centered. We become less needy, more willing to bless than be blessed. We become less bitter, more willing to let go of a debt we think we are owed. We become less discontent with life, more content with Christ being our all in all. As we become less, Christ becomes more. My parents' counsel? Follow the right companion in life and your path will become 'more' in your pursuit of actually becoming 'less'. Just sayin!

If I needed advice, I'd have asked for it!

Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. (Samuel Taylor Coleridge) We all have received advice at one time or another, embraced it, and seen the difference in our lives as a result of that sage council. There are probably a few other times we have received 'advice' that we didn't really grasp hold of simply because of the way it was presented to us! As a novice in investing, I appreciated the advice of a more knowledgeable friend when I was seeking ways to make my retirement fund grow. As a novice nurse, I looked to my 'elders' in nursing to help me develop the little tips and tricks they don't teach in nursing curriculum so as to no miss important facts about the patient and to improve the level of trust the physicians placed in me in caring for their patients. We all can grow from advice, but if we treat the Word of God as mere 'advice' we can either accept or reject, we will somehow be missing the point - it is truth and truth is what we should base ALL of our decisions squarely upon!

For whatever God says to us is full of living power: it is sharper than the sharpest dagger, cutting swift and deep into our innermost thoughts and desires with all their parts, exposing us for what we really are. (Hebrews 4:12 TLB)

Notice clearly in our passage today - it is God speaking TO US. It isn't just mere advice - it is directed conversation. It is conversation 'full of living power'. The Word of God has a way of taking truth into the depths of our hearts and thoughts - so that we gain 'exposure'. In wound care, one of the first things they teach is that wounds don't heal if they aren't cleaned out well. That might mean we have to 'cut back' to healthy tissue once again. If you have every cut into your finger or hand, you know that 'flap' of skin created can sort of 'dry up' as healing begins to occur, but it doesn't 'belong' there any longer. Why? The vital supply of nutrients it needed has been cut off. It is damaged tissue and needs to be sloughed or cut away. God isn't going to be able to help the healthy stuff in us grow by giving us 'advice' alone - we need truth - because truth is what cuts away the 'dead stuff' in our lives!

If you'd allow me this morning to 'meddle' a little, may I ask what 'dead tissue' you have been trying to preserve in your life? The area where there has been damage because of repeated sin, or maybe some of those hurts we've held onto way too long - these might just be the 'dead tissue' areas of our lives where the Word needs to get into us and do some 'debridement' of that dead stuff. If you recall that snag of skin drying up around that cut on your hand, what purpose did it serve as that wound was healing? If it was like some of mine, it got in the way of healing! Why? It was a point of 'snagging' that opened healing tissue again and again! I had to snip it away in order to expose the new tissue underneath. Yes, that tissue was a little 'sensitive' because it was not calloused by years and years of wear and tear, but it was fresh, vibrant, and growing! This is what each of us hopes for when truth comes into our lives - freshness, vibrancy, and continued growth.

Apart from truth, all the other stuff we receive into our lives is mere advice. God isn't an 'advice' giver - he is a truth-giver. In giving truth, do you know what he is actually giving? Himself - for he is all truth and when he brings truth into our lives, he is leaving behind little bits and pieces of himself in those places he touches. Pretty neat, huh? Oftentimes, we need truth, but we are seeking advice. Maybe we'd do well to ask for truth instead! Just sayin!

Which way?

"Over every mountain there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley." (Theodore Roethke) I had the chance to head to a lovely area of the Northern Arizona rim country this past week, enjoying a little R&R with my BFF and some quality time in nature. It always manages to recenter my focus and calm my weary body, despite the strenuous climbs down paths unknown, or long days awaiting those telltale nibbles that let me know there is a fish on the hook! One of my favorite things to do is to just look out over high places on the mountain's edge and see the vastness of the valleys below. While I appreciate the many things seen deeper down into those valleys, such as the lush meadows, abundant wildlife, and tall pines, I always appreciate the perspective one can obtain when one climbs to the top of the mountain for just a little bit of a different vantage point. As Roethke said, the path is there, but sometimes we just need to change our vantage point to see it a little because there are things that obstruct our view at times.

God is the one who gives me strength. He clears the path I need to take. (Psalm 18:32 ERV)

There are times when friends will ask my advice on which path to take in life. While I appreciate being asked, it sure can put me in a little bit of a predicament when I may not have the same vantage point on that path as the other individual has been given. I am not walking in that other person's shoes, although I may have taken similar paths. The best I can do is offer some advice on how I chose the path I did and what I looked for in confirmation that it was the right one to choose. If you are considering a particular path today, here are some tips:

- We don't want others to choose it for us. It is rarely the right path for us when another chooses it on our behalf, insisting we take one over another. About the only exception to this one is when we are clearly headed down a very wrong path and the other person is pulling us back from that direction. If we are headed in a direction in which we will experience harm or loss, we might just do well to heed their advice to consider the direction we are headed. When choosing our path, we should consider what God has to say about it (in his Word), and perhaps even listen to the advice of those who might have already explored similar paths (remembering that no two paths are equally the same).

- We may want to take the one that is "marked" the clearest, but it may be the one with the absence of those "markings" that brings us to the place we will find the greatest blessings in life. We want the path easiest to travel, well-marked, and often well-traveled. As much as this is a good thing, a well-traveled path could just be a rut dug by frequent passage! Sometimes we need to forge new paths, which may be a little scary at first, but in so doing, we come into new explorations others haven't experienced. In these times, we become the leaders and not the followers. We help others to see new vantage points that were previously undiscovered by them. 

No two paths are the same. No two vantage points will take in the same view. In each person's exploration of similar paths, the lessons may be similar, but they remain absolutely unique to the individual exploring those paths. Choosing one over another is often a matter of conscience, allowing the Spirit's presence within us to confirm the right one for us to travel. Remember, it may not be evident because the mountain looms ahead of us, but it is there! Just sayin!

Do I act or not?

"He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other."

(Francis Bacon)

Good advice comes from various sources - sometimes the wise words of a cherished friend, at others a discovered truth from God's Word, and at times it even comes from those we might not think to really have had much influence in our lives until we look back and see their fingerprints in what has become our "molded character". Many times advice is sought, but there are also times when it is offered without anyone asking for it. In those moments, it can be listened to, heeded, and result in some type of impact in our lives. It can also be ignored, not acted upon, and result in an even bigger impact. The key isn't that we acted or didn't act - it is in discerning which was the advice we were to heed and which it was we were to ignore!

The godly offer good counsel; they teach right from wrong. They have made God’s law their own, so they will never slip from his path. (Psalm 37:30-31 NLT)

We tend to rely upon advice oftentimes more than we might realize. We listen into the news in the morning before we make our daily commute into work, seeking the advice of the reporter assigned to monitor the condition of the roadways and the flow of traffic. Our goal was to get some advice on the things to avoid. We take in the talk at the lunchroom table about what movies our friends went to see this past weekend, only to form an opinion of the ones we might want to see and those we won't waste our money to view. We share our frustrations with other parents over the issues we are having with a teenager who is forging a path we don't want them to go down, in hopes we might get some glimmer of hope the teen can be dissuaded from their pursuit. Advice is sought, given, gleaned, casually "put out there", and even "caught" in the most common of occurrences and daily exercises.

What we do with the advice we receive is quite a different matter - for it may be easily embraced and quickly acted upon, or it may be forcefully rejected and labeled as "bad advice". We tend to embrace that which "makes sense" or gives us some element of hope. We tend to reject that which either seems to monumentally "out there" to ever "work for us", or is just not "adding up" to what we wanted to hear. No advice is as solid and worthy of our attention as that which lived out in the lives of those who render it - for the example behind the words is the best judge of whether that advice, once heeded, will produce the results we might have hoped for! Just sayin!

A little advice anyone?

"It takes a great man to give sound advice tactfully, but a greater to accept it graciously." (Logan Pearsall Smith) Tactfulness is simply the ability to know what to say or do in order to avoid offending somebody.  Some call it the necessary "social skill" in order to deal with "difficult" or "sensitive" situations.  Truth be told, my tactfulness flies out the window if I get too tired, a little frustrated because I am behind on projects, or just don't take the time to think before I speak.  If tactfulness is that hard to be consistent with as we respond to people and circumstances, then maybe this is why we have a few more opportunities to "put things right" than we'd really like!  Sometimes we are on the receiving end of tactfulness, while at others we are expected to be the ones exhibiting a little.  It goes both ways, but sometimes the opportunities are a little more "one-sided" because one of the individuals is just in need of it a little more because of their life events at the moment.  Being on the receiving end of tactfulness is kind of like an extension of grace - we don't deserve the gentleness and wisdom of the other person's response to us, but we sure appreciate it!

My son, always remember what I have taught you; keep my instructions dear to your heart.  If you do, they will be your guide to a long, healthy, prosperous life. Stay focused; do not lose sight of mercy and truth; engrave them on a pendant, and hang it around your neck; meditate on them so they are written upon your heart.  In this way, you will win the favor of God and others, and they will think well of you. (Proverbs 3:1-4 VOICE)

We can receive gracious advice at times when we most need it which often changes the attitude we have toward the thing we are dealing with.  That advice kind of "balances" us by adding a type of "counter-weight" to the stressful pressure of the moment which has caused an imbalance within our perception, attitude, or responses.  Those who learn to be the "counter-balance" in another's life have truly learned to be a blessing!

Gracious advice is more than just "cutting someone a little slack" at the moment.  It carries the idea of being compassionate toward the other person, with whatever is needed to demonstrate the measure of grace that individual needs at the moment.  It may be we just respond with kind words, but it could be we lend a hand, helping them to get beyond the thing which has become a frustration to them.

Some of the best "advice" I have received is not just that which came in words, but was also accompanied by some pretty significant action which helped me move beyond the hurdle in front of me.  We tend to think of advice as words, but helping someone find the solution they need to the problem they are facing can often mean we get our hands dirty in the process!  Advice in a godly sense goes beyond "recommendations" given in word alone!

The greatest "advice" we give to others is to always infuse truth into the circumstance at hand.  It may the one thing which is missing because the individual is so focused on what isn't working they cannot see all the parts which are working well.  It is like seeing one crack in the block wall and believing the entire wall needs to be replaced.  Often we just need to replace one section in order for the entirety to be whole again.  When we infuse godly wisdom into the circumstance, it is like we help to bring someone out of their "laser focused" concern about the issue into the place they can see the bigger picture and remember there is a solution in reach.  Truth will never steer us wrong!  Just sayin!

Guard yourself against "good advice"

Advice:  an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, or some business you are about to engage in.  We have probably all offered advice at one point or another in our lives - sometimes solicited, at others not so much. Then there are those times when we have been the "subject" of advice!  You know what that it like!  You are forced to sit and listen while others who don't know exactly what you are thinking, feeling, or going through proport to have exactly the right piece of wisdom to get you through at the moment.  In those moments, you almost feel like turning tail and running as fast as you can away from the advice giver!  Why?  You are neither in the place to receive it, nor are they in the place to give it!  There are lots and lots of rules in life we must follow, but not all advice is worth following.  One of the rules my daughter established when the boys were very young was one she learned growing up - brush your teeth (at least once a day) in order to keep your teeth strong, remove unpleasant odor from one's mouth, and to be socially acceptable!  It isn't one of those rules she is willing to look the other way on when it is violated. It is meant to be kept.  Some other rules might just be "bendable" a little - such as bedtime on Friday nights not being as strict as bedtime on school nights.  Now, break that rule and the kid is happy!  Break the rule of brushing your teeth and no one is happy around you!  Sometimes we treat "rules" as though they were advice - giving us the ability to "pick and choose" portions or pieces we might embrace.  This can be the very place where we get ourselves into trouble.

Your rules make me happy. They give me good advice. (Psalm 119:24 ERV)

Living in the United States, there are a lot of rules I would have to say are "social norms" which may not be as "critical" to follow in some other countries. In fact, one such rule is the use of deodorant.  It isn't probably as big of a deal for the individuals living in the hill country of the rain forest, or the dry sands of the deserts of Africa.  It isn't readily available, is sometimes "out of reach" when it comes to the cost, and just hasn't been adopted as the "social norm" of the region.  So, trying to enforce a rule to wear deodorant isn't going to be very successful because of all the listed reasons.  On the other hand, some rules are placed into society because they help to keep the members of that society safe. One such rule might be that of driving down only one side of the road (either right or left of the line depending on the country you live in).  When traffic is allowed to drive helter-skelter down the road, accidents can happen rather quickly and it is almost impossible to know what another will do when approaching them if there are no "rules of the road".  

We have the privilege of living "under rules" which guide our behavior.  Yes, it is indeed a privilege to do so - regardless of whether we might "chafe" a little under those rules at times.  Mom always had a rule about how closely we could sit to the TV - especially when color television came on the scene.  There was some idea "rays" of some sort were emitted from the screen which would ultimately harm us.  In fact, the only real concern was that it probably put a little more strain on our eyes than was necessary - something many of us suffer from when we sit for hours in front of our computer monitors these days!  My eye doctor said I didn't need stronger glasses - that wasn't causing my occasional blurry vision.  It was the eye-strain of staring consistently at the computer screen.  In order to avoid this, I needed to vary my visual "distances" at regular intervals, by looking away from the screen for a minute or so, allowing my eyes to adjust to distance again, then I could return to the screen. I often take breaks from looking so intently at the screen, or the paperwork in front of me just for this reason.

As you can see, some rules seem pretty "easy" to adjust to, while others put a little more burden on us to actually follow them.  I have to get up, move away from the screen, and get a different "focus" in life.  I have to go into the bathroom, put toothpaste on the brush and scrub my pearly whites.  I have to drive on the correct side of the road, or I will be in danger of both being a traffic hazard and becoming a traffic fatality!  On the other hand, some rules just seem like "advice" we can take or leave - giving us a little bit of control in life.  This really should not be the case when it comes to following the intentional direction God gives us in his Word.  He has a purpose for the rules we might not understand fully, but when followed intently, we find they keep us safe or create a culture we can live in which is bears less burden and creates less barriers. When the psalmist said God's Word gave him "good advice", I don't believe he ever intended to create the idea we could take it as nothing more than a "recommendation" of how we should act.  It isn't a rule our "social group" adopts and then it becomes the "social norm".  It is a rule of living we must adopt as a child of God - regardless of society's opinion of its merit.

If you are on social media at all these days, you will find there are numerous individuals sharing all kinds of "rules" which many kind of adopt willy-nilly without much thought.  For example, have you ever been scrolling through to come upon that picture of your favorite food, only to read the caption, "Five foods to never eat"?  Yep, someone, somewhere, at some point determined that bread is the dreaded food.  If I am to live healthy, I must NEVER consume the substance!  Well, sorry guys, I LIKE bread, God created bread and all the ingredients which go into bread, and I am gonna eat bread!  What God does give me as "rule" about the bread is to not be inclined toward gluttony!  In other words, I am not to eat the entire loaf in one sitting!  That is where the "limit" is implied in the rule - not in the eating of the bread in the first place.  I say all this to remind us to beware of following someone's advice over what the truth of the Word says.  There is no wisdom in following advice unless the advice is confirmed by the truth contained in God's Word!  Just sayin!

Grey hair cover-up

I will admit to foolish mistakes I have made, because if I do, just maybe someone else will avoid those pitfalls.  When someone is willing to share how they got to where they are today, we call that mentoring.  When someone shares the wisdom they have accumulated through many hardships, tough times, and emotional roller-coasters, we should revel in their willingness to share the path they took and learn about the various twist and turns life put in their way.  When Solomon put pen to paper, recording those various twists and turns he had learned from by observing his father's life, the pitfalls of some of the ways his brothers handled situations in life, and then his own pathway to "the top", we should glean as much from them as we can.  It amazes me how much is packed into thirty-one chapters.  If I had to choose which books of the Bible are my favorite, the Proverbs would be right up there.  Why?  There is much to the sensibility of what is shared therein.  I am not a really fancy or "uppity" individual.  I don't like a lot of pomp and circumstance.  I really don't like the lime-light.  What I do like is the practicality of living genuinely.  I have lived behind some pretty "made up" masks - thinking I could hide my real struggles and find some solace in "looking okay" on the outside.  Truth is - I couldn't hide the reality of the struggles - they were ingrained into every step I took!  What broke me out of this place of feeling I had to "cover up" my difficult moments in life?  Realizing no one walks a truly "unique" life!  Solomon was the one who spoke about "nothing new under the sun".  It wasn't some great philosopher, but someone who came to the place of ruling an entire kingdom while he was yet a child!  When he entered this role, he didn't ask for more wealth, or even the ability to win every battle in his territory.  He asked for a double-portion of wisdom.  Maybe it was because he had seen what a lack of wisdom had done to his family members, or perhaps he remembered the stories of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness, worshiping the golden calf, and hiding forbidden things within their tents.  Regardless of the reason, I think we have much to glean from the reminder:  To be wise, you must FIRST have reverence for the Lord - if you know him - you have understanding!

To be wise you must first have reverence for the Lord. If you know the Holy One, you have understanding. Wisdom will add years to your life. You are the one who will profit if you have wisdom, and if you reject it, you are the one who will suffer. (Proverbs 9:10-12 GNT)

Men in those days looked to all manner of "wise" men - such as astronomers, philosophers, and even those of advancing years because of all they had been through in life.  The philosophers could offer opinions - beliefs held, but sometimes not always well-founded.  The astronomers could comment about what they interpreted from the ebb and flow of waters based on phases of the moon, but not really the reality or truth of how the sun, moon, and stars they studied came into being.  The sage old men who sat at the city gates could give advice on how they had navigated through life, but most of what they shared was really based on common sense.  Solomon recognized something which was preeminent to all these things - the relationship he had with his Savior and the wisdom which came from "tapping into" the mind of Christ.  To have wisdom, one needs to come into deeply personal relationship with the one who is actually wisdom's foundation!  Wisdom isn't so much a "thing" we acquire as much as it is a relationship we cultivate with the one who is all-knowing, ever-present, and all-powerful!

We actually "profit" from the "right" relationships we cultivate!  If the first relationship we focus on is that which we have with Christ himself, we are almost made wise just by association!  It is impossible to be around people who are truly in deeply personal relationship with Jesus and not notice how much they rely not upon philosophy, popular opinion, or even book-learning.  Their dependence is upon the wisdom which supersedes all other "wisdom" out there today.  It is found in the scripture, by listening intently for the still small voice of God, and through leaning into those quiet promptings of the Holy Spirit within who gently nudges us in the right direction.  Sometimes this type of wisdom is hard to put into words - but we can see it in operation in their lives.  What they have learned is to keep this relationship with Christ FIRST in their lives.  All the other stuff they will need to know in life comes as a result of having this right!

Some of the greatest wisdom I have learned from others is when they share openly about those times when they failed to keep this relationship as a priority! They got off-course, were kind of adrift in their focus, and found themselves making decision based on principles they might not otherwise even consider. There is much to be said for learning from the example of others - for in reality, if we can avoid the missteps another has taken, we are the wiser for recognizing the futility of those steps.  Some of us think wisdom is something for the old - like it was guaranteed just because someone sports a few grey hairs.  I have seen some pretty foolish "grey tops" in my day!  Age alone doesn't guarantee we will learn our life lessons!  What does?  The right relationship focus!  Just 

Principle 9: Don't Waste Your Words

Advice - we all need it on occasion, give it on others.  Sometimes it is welcomed, at others it is resented and rejected.  Some advice comes with a little bit of opinion attached, while others is simply a statement of truth which is difficult to ignore.  By definition, advice is an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide for action or conduct.  Sometimes we see someone about to perform a particular action or exhibit conduct which will result in harm to them or another - our immediate response may be to offer some "advice" to not do it, right?  Have you ever noticed that we are quick to offer advice, but sometimes quite slow to take it?  It is much easier to offer an opinion than it it to accept the recommendations of one on the outside looking in!

Don’t bother talking sense to fools; they’ll only poke fun at your words. (Proverbs 23:9 MSG)

Some of us will accept the words of advice we receive - mull them over in our brains a little - then figure out how to use the advice to keep us on the straight and narrow.  The fool, on the other hand, will often reject advice as it is offered, never taking the time to mull it over.  The words fall on deaf ears, so to speak, even when it is solid.  We may deliver a message with all the good sense we can muster, but it will not penetrate the heart or mind of anyone with a mindset determined to do their own thing anyway.

The attitude of heart we must focus on as we look at this ninth principle has to do with how open we are to receive what God gives us through the mouths of those he places in our lives.  Many times we play the "fool" because we just won't open up to the possibilities of another being "right" in a particular situation.  We limit the learning we could receive because we aren't willing to consider the other person's opinion or recommendation.  Now, a word of caution here - not all advice is really worth us taking hold of, but I do think there is a way to determine if advice is "solid" and applicable to our lives.

We need to be open to the recommendations of those God places in our lives. They help to hold us accountable sometimes by the advice they are offering. A fool will reject this advice as "not applicable" or "nonsense" simply because they are either not willing to do the research to see if it is sound advice, or they are too determined to do their own thing.  Either way, the one unwilling to receive what God may be offering through another is indeed playing the part of a fool.

As we consider the advice from others, we need to keep in mind there are several precautionary measures to be considered:

- Does it line up with scripture?  If not, it is wise to reject it as opinion which is not intended for our lives.  If so, then we should consider it in light of what we know to be true within that advice, see if it applies to us, and then embrace it if it does.

- Does it confirm what we already know to be true?  There are times when we have an urging within to do something, but either because of fear or reluctance, we are holding back.  When advice or recommendation comes which confirms this as the direction we are to be taking, knowing full-well it aligns with scripture, and confirms what God has already been trying to speak into our lives, we should step up.  A word of caution here - no "advice" should be "news" to us - if it is, we need to think long and hard before we just accept it at face value.  Confirm it with the scripture, seek God's direction, and maybe even the counsel of another believer to see if they agree.  

The fool is within all of us - we all play the part well at times.  Our best laid plans and fickleness of heart both lend to some pretty foolish actions on occasion.  When we hear clearly the soundness of God's wisdom from another, we need to be open enough to listen carefully, consider it in light of the truth we have been given, and if it applies, embrace it.  Just sayin!

Take vs. Get

We can "get" something and we can "take" something.  They have very different meanings, don't they?  To "get" something does not always mean we put it to use in our lives - we just "possess" it as ours, but it may not have an impact on our lives.  To "take" something implies we intend to put it into use. When we "take" a piece of bread from the plate, we likely are more apt to use it to sop up the gravy on our plate than when we just have it casually placed on a dish next to our dinner plate.  To "take" good counsel and accept correction means we actually do something with what we receive in the way of counsel and apply the corrective measures to ensure the outcome of our plans is different than it would have been without the counsel or correction.  When we get something, we are being affected by it - it changes us in some way. This is what God had in mind when he instructed us to live wisely and well by taking the good counsel he provides and then accepting the necessary course corrections which may also be required.  The "course corrections" are not optional, as some may think - they are required.

Take good counsel and accept correction—that’s the way to live wisely and well.  We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails.  Fear-of-God is life itself, a full life, and serene—no nasty surprises. If you quit listening, dear child, and strike off on your own, you’ll soon be out of your depth.  (Proverbs 19:20-21, 23, 27 MSG)

We often choose to live outside of the good counsel of God, don't we?  It is like we consider our options and then choose to pick the one which sometimes doesn't make the most sense, but it appealed to us the most.  We must never be fooled by our own foolishness - God's good counsel will prevail!  We may deviate for a season, but he keeps plugging away at us until we sit still long enough to realize the counsel we did not heed was the very counsel we need to return to.  We might just recognize we are living outside of this good counsel of God by the way we are bucking him at every turn - his counsel is hard to escape - it is almost like it pursues us even when we are going down the wrong path!

There are a couple of things I'd like us to consider as we take up this topic of God's counsel:

- It always aligns with the Word of God.  Any counsel we may receive can be "checked" against the Word.  If the Word of God doesn't clearly speak to the specific thing we are seeking wisdom about, we must rely upon the principles taught within scripture.  For example, the Word of God may not direct us to the specific way to invest our money, but it give us repeated advice and instruction how it is we are to treat our money - not as something to be squirreled away, but used in meeting the needs of those around us, furthering the gospel message, etc.  So, if we apply the principles taught, we should be okay in investing it in our 401K, Roth IRA, or a block of stocks on the market.

- The counsel of God is not self-centered.  In other words, it will not "feed" or "foster" the advancement of things which "fluff our ego".  God's counsel calls for us to no longer be "ego-centric", but to consider others above ourselves. Any counsel which we may embrace to the contrary will always lead us down the wrong path.

- The counsel you embrace will always lead to a right respect for his authority in your life.  There is no greater authority - any counsel which diminishes or calls into question his authority is not godly wisdom or counsel.  It should not be heeded.  

A right respect for the counsel of God will result in a right respect for his authority in your life.  As a result, there will be a willingness to live within the boundaries he establishes instead of always trying to buck them.  As I have often said, to stay within the boundaries he established through his good counsel is to live within the borders of safety and freedom.  To push against those boundaries is to cross over into territory where our safety cannot be assured and our freedom is called into question.  The counsel of God is available to all who will ask - we just need to be open to what we receive in return.

Here is where the rub comes - the willingness to actually "take" the counsel and use it as we should.  Quit listening and you will surely strike out on your own - leading you into depths you have not chartered before and were never intended to explore in the first place!  I've gone there myself on an occasion or two, and it is not a very pleasant experience.  The "depths" of what awaits me pulls me in over my head faster than I could have ever imagined.  The only way to avoid such pitfalls is to stay the course within the boundaries of his good counsel.  

Take vs. get - one receives so as to put it into use, while the other just toys with it.  How are you handling the good counsel of God in your life today?  If you have been "toying with it", maybe it is time to stop all the "toying" and start checking it out a little more intently.  Just sayin!

Just like a good neighbor...

And those who think they know so much, ignoring everything you tell them—let them have it!  Don't let them mock and humiliate me; I've been careful to do just what you said. While bad neighbors maliciously gossip about me, I'm absorbed in pondering your wise counsel.  Yes, your sayings on life are what give me delight; I listen to them as to good neighbors!

(Psalm 119:21-24 The Message)

As we continue on with our study in Psalm 119, we find that David makes a little deviation from his "positive" focus!  He actually asks God to "get" his enemies!  It is kind of like saying, "Sick 'em!" to a dog!  He is obviously a little frustrated with his "supposed" friends - those he has kept company with, and maybe some he just knows as acquaintances.  They are engaged in gossip against him - picking him apart.  

David continues with his customary "condition - result" way of framing his thoughts.  Here's the condition:  There are people all around him that think they know it all - probably being none too willing to give him advice, whether it is well-founded or not.  They are mocking him with the intention of humiliating him.  The result:  He pulls closer to God!  He sinks deep into the counsel God offers and becomes "absorbed" in pondering it.  They become his good neighbors in the face of some "not so good" neighbors!

If we have lived longer than an hour on this earth, we probably have been the subject of some malicious gossip at one time or another!  It is part of how we are as human beings - we just seem to gravitate toward "finding fault", "shifting blame", and "picking apart" the people in our lives.  We don't have to look far to see this.  Just look at the nightly news - we observe newscasters presuming to know the motivation behind the actions of individuals, almost finding them "guilty" before it can be proven otherwise.  

If you have ever been the subject of malicious gossip, you know just how much it brings you down.  No matter how hard you try to remain positive in the face of the "ill will" talk of your "neighbors", you find yourself being beaten down by the words they are spreading.  I think words are more damaging than we give them credit for being!  If you find yourself as a subject of this kind of malicious gossip today, take these offenders to God directly.  Ask him to deal with them in the manner he pleases.  We will never do as good of a job at silencing their "ill will" talk as God will!

David sets out a different situation though - he is surrounded with "neighbors" offering all kinds of advice - supposedly in the interest of pointing him in the right direction.  It is "bad" advice though.  It is not based on what God has revealed as the actions a man or woman of God should be pursuing.  It is kind of like when a well-meaning Christian tells us something that is "not quite right" - close to the truth declared in the Word, but not "exactly" the whole truth contained there.  That is why it is so important for us to get familiar with the Word!  We need to know what it says - able to discern the "whole truth" from "incomplete truth".

The "safety net" that David sets for himself in both of these situations - the "ill-will" talk and the "not so good advice" talk - is to draw nearer to God.  He absorbs himself in God's presence - turning over and over again the Words of counsel given directly from him.  There is no better (or safer) place to be when we are trying to "sort out" the things we hear (and ultimately come to believe).  This is the place where he can be honest with God about what he is feeling - confusion because of misleading advice, hurt because of wrongful words being spoken, etc.  He can lay it all out there - in the safety of God's presence - knowing that God will sort it all out.

We might want to defend ourselves in the face of malicious gossip - don't!  God will do a much better job - in his timing!  I have seen this worked out time and again in my own life.  His ability to "validate" our "good reputation" is much better than any defense we could mount on our own!  In the face of confusing directions - stop!  The best thing to do when we are confused by the messages we are receiving is to stop and listen.  Just like a good neighbor - God stands at the ready to welcome us in, let us spill our heart, and then he embraces us in his compassionate care.