Call upon Jesus

 I don't know about you, but I have carried around resentment in my life at times that just ate away at me until I finally released that load to God. It was only then that I realized the significant weight I had put on myself and just how awful that stuff was to carry. Proverbs 27:3 reminds us, "A stone is heavy, and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier." Our words and actions can turn from wise and kind toward bitter and foolish in just a matter of minutes. Our plan to be wise and act the 'right' way can be waylaid by some emotional 'mood' that hits us 'just right' at just the 'wrong moment' and there we are embracing foolish actions and a seed of bitterness.

Our mind might be telling us to do one thing, but our emotions can carry us in a different direction when they are allowed to overrule our mind. Truth be told, the other person was kind of foolish in their behavior and it ticked us off just a bit more than normal. Their actions left us with a load of emotions, all jumbled together, and those emotions begin to 'birth' new ones, until we find ourselves carrying a huge load of 'ugly' all because of 'that fool' who acted 'that way'. We might not realize how much the foolish actions or words of another have created a load of bitterness and resentment within us, but if we stop to look at the issue closely, we might just see how much we allowed our emotions to respond to their foolish actions.

We need to become very cautious about our reactions, learning rather to 'respond' and not always to 'react'. There will always be foolish people in our lives, and their actions will most certainly make us want to react with our own foolish actions, but Christ will enable us to respond in a manner that doesn't escalate the situation or create a well-spring of guilt and angst. The worst thing we can do is respond without thought - that is reacting. The load of resentment that comes from dealing with a fool by trying to talk them out of their foolishness or change their minds about something is way more than we will want to bear.

We don't 'talk a fool out of his foolishness' because the fool is bend on doing or saying what he will. We respond with wisdom when we call upon the name of Jesus at that moment when 'reaction' wants to override 'response' within us. When we call upon his name, we are actually leaning into God's wisdom and strength rather than 'giving into' our desire to 'help' or 'show' the fool their actions are not right. You cannot reason with the fool for their is no changing their mind. Walk away, get with God, let him guide you. You are not a 'fool-guide'! Just sayin!

Passing through bitter waters

Moses led the Israelites away from the Red Sea and into the desert of Shur. They traveled for three days in the desert. They could not find any water. Then they came to Marah. There was water at Marah, but it was too bitter to drink. (That is why the place was named Marah.) The people began complaining to Moses. They said, “Now what will we drink?” (Exodus 15:22-24)

God has just delivered you from some HUGE thing that was weighing heavily upon your shoulders, such as the bondage the Egyptians kept the Israelites under, and your immediate response to your deliverance is to sing praises to him. That sounds about right, doesn't it? Now, a few days or weeks pass by, and we find ourselves facing something much less challenging, but a hindrance, nonetheless. Our 'immediate' response in that moment is to praise God, right? Not always! If we are anything like the Israelites, when we face the first 'bump in the road' following God's mighty deliverance, will our response be to complain that we don't have whatever it is we need? I wish this were not true for all of us, but if you are anything like me, you probably have done it!

There is no drinkable water - although there is water. It was 'bitter', but it was still there. Could it have been filtered somehow, or boiled for their use? Probably, but their first response is to see the 'trouble' they face as "God not taking care of us" like he should be. Instead of turning to God to see what he would do, they rose up in complaint for their 'misfortune' in finding bitter water. As the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade", may not have aptly applied here, but God knew what he was doing, even though they didn't! There is much God 'does' that we don't understand, isn't there? We find 'bitter waters' in our path and think it could never be God's place of provision. Even bitter waters can be God's provision - we just have to see how he will transform them for our good use.

The rest of the story: 'So Moses called to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a large piece of wood. When Moses put the wood in the water, the water became good to drink.... He said to him, “I am the Lord your God. If you listen to me and do what I say is right, and if you obey all my commands and laws, then I will not give you any of the sicknesses that I gave the Egyptians. I am the Lord who heals you.” Then the people traveled to Elim. At Elim there were twelve springs of water and 70 palm trees. So the people made their camp there near that water.' (vs. 25-27) The bitter waters behind them, the promise of good things before them, they came to a 'supply' greater than they imagined possible. 

That how it is with God. He brings us to a supply greater than we could ever imagine. We may go through the place of 'bitter waters' before we get to the springs of water and lush groves of provision, but we shouldn't complain about the bitterness along the way. The provision is there, we might not know how it will be provided, but we can count on it to come. Just sayin!

Rejecting Bitterness

Your words can be as satisfying as fruit, as pleasing as the food that fills your stomach. The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings. (Proverbs 18:20-21)

Fruit can have all the right coloring, smell wonderful, but somehow it is just too tart or bitter on the inside. It is like the development of the fruit arrested and it never came to the place it was fully ripe - like when it is picked too quickly and artificially ripened to put on the shelves at the supermarket. Take a bit of the fruit and you will soon realize the bitterness lasts, even when you spit out the nastiness of the bite you took. It is like "having your teeth set on edge". Some of us don't taste "bitter"? In fact, depending upon the level of dietary iodine we may ingest, we might all sense "bitterness" a little differently. I wonder if this difference with how we "taste" the bitter we ingest in life is similar to how some may be deeply affected by the hurtful and bitter things another does or says, while others seemingly walk away pretty well unaffected by it?

There are individuals who will take in a steady diet for a while, developing a "taste" for whatever it is they are given to ingest. It may not have been pleasant at first, but the more they ingest it, the more immune they become to the unpleasant taste. It is kind of like when you first tried to feed your infant veggies - they didn't like their taste as well as the fruit, so they squirmed away when you tried to coax them to take a little more. The pediatrician might even tell you to start with veggies and leave the fruits till last. You are convincing them to "take in" what is the least pleasant for them, but which will give them the necessary stuff to help them grow up strong. They might not enjoy the experience, but it is not going to kill them!

I wonder how many of us go through life "not enjoying the experience", but going through it anyway simply because someone has convinced us it won't "kill us". The reality is that we are affected by all which comes into our lives - good, bad, sweet, or bitter. We cannot deny the influence of each of these - some will be quite enjoyable and easily appreciated; others will be very difficult and quite difficult to see as valuable. There are times when bitterness is all around us, and all we want to do is spit it out! We rarely crave the bitter taste. In time, the more we taste the bitter, the more our taste buds will become desensitized to the bitter and will actually allow us to take it in without having that same "teeth set on edge" reaction.

What has happened? We have been "desensitized" due to the frequency of the exposure to the bitter thing. That which once caused us so much discomfort becomes something we are almost immune to now. This is not always good, though, because those initial reactions of "rejecting" the bitter are there for a reason. The bitterness of the green fruit is what should keep us from ingesting it and becoming ill from taking it into our bodies. When we develop a tolerance to the bitter, we often go way beyond a place of safety when it comes to what we will allow into our lives! Spiritually and emotionally speaking, the bitterness of life is going to challenge us a bit at first, but when we are continually bombarded by it, we cannot help but develop a "tolerance" to it.

Words might be bitter when first spoken, producing an immediate "ill-effect". In time, when we are constantly bombarded by the sheer volume of bitter and harmful words, or words which ought to produce a bitter taste within us, we might just begin to develop a tolerance to what we continue to allow to be taken in! This is perhaps why God asks us to pay so close attention to the words we speak and those which we allow to penetrate our minds and hearts. These very words can be the starting point of tolerance to the bitterness of life - rather than us rejecting that which produces bitterness within, we actually find ourselves running toward it! We need to weigh our words carefully and those which we will allow to "penetrate" our minds and hearts. When we hear those bitter words of another, we need to be quick to reject those as something which is just not "fitting" for our lives. Just sayin!

Do you have a rumination partner?

I caught a little quote from Positive Mind this morning on someone's social media feed and it gave me a moment to just consider the message: "If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow." I don't always remember to focus on the lesson, do you? Sometimes it is just easier to focus on the hurt and let that ruminate a bit. Problem is that ruminating just increases the amount of 'acidic influence' of the hurt. Maybe what we need most is someone in our lives that won't let us ruminate our way into a bitter heart!

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. (Hebrews 12:15)

God actually commands us to 'watch out' for the root of bitterness - not just in ourselves, but in each other, as well. We are sometimes more sensitive to someone's 'ruminating' than they are themselves. It is easy for the one doing the ruminating to focus on the hurt repeatedly but be totally oblivious to what all that ruminating is actually doing to their spirit, emotions, and their bodies. When we have an accountability partner in our lives, there is a good chance they will 'call us' on our behavior. When they do, it is time to 'spit out' that stuff we have been ruminating on and rid ourselves of all that foulness that goes along with it.

The bad part of bitterness is that it never just affects us - it affects all those around us. Sometimes I think we justify our 'hurt feelings' a bit too easily, allowing that rumination to begin. We were wronged, even if no one else sees how 'wronged' we were, so we are going to focus on just how wronged we were over and over again. If someone else is willing to listen to us list all the ways we were wronged, all the better. When we share the hurt with another who is not going to encounter us about our focusing on the hurt instead of the lesson and we will find ourselves with a 'rumination partner'!

We are to look after each other - so not one of us fails to receive the grace God has for us in the hurt. The lesson comes with an ample supply of grace - the grace to let it go, the grace to forgive the other person, and the grace to rebuild the relationship once again. When we have an accountability partner, they focus us on the grace that is available, while the rumination partner focuses us on just how 'right' we are to be ruminating in the 'wrong' done to us. We need a partner who consistently points us toward grace and away from the 'rumination pit'! These are the individuals that help us change our focus from the hurt toward the lesson. Just sayin!

Wisdom or Sensibility?

Are any of you wise or sensible? Then show it by living right and by being humble and wise in everything you do. But if your heart is full of bitter jealousy and selfishness, don’t brag or lie to cover up the truth. That kind of wisdom doesn’t come from above. It is earthly and selfish and comes from the devil himself. Whenever people are jealous or selfish, they cause trouble and do all sorts of cruel things. But the wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine, and sincere. When peacemakers plant seeds of peace, they will harvest justice. (James 3:14-18)

Perhaps one of the greatest struggles we will face in this life is to respond with wisdom and sensibility when others attack us. Get in a position of not seeing eye-to-eye with another in relationship and you will soon note that sensibility is something which flies out the window. Both parties somehow forget how to act toward the other - they are responding to the emotion of the moment. In turn, things get said, attitudes get displayed, and memories are planted which just don't belong within the relationship. This is how bitterness and resentment get started. Sensibility is just the capacity to experience senses - we need wisdom to keep those senses in check!

The things which are said don't actually reflect reality to us - but they do reflect reality to the other person. We know there must be something behind those words which come as an attack - but we aren't seeing the relationship moment the same way they are - so we need this wisdom from above to weed our way through the messiness of relationship. One response to being threatened, or feeling like you have not been understood in relationship is to become a clam. The individual pulls tightly into their shell and closes down. If you have ever tried to get a live clam open, you know you are struggling against their desire to stay "shut up". The same is true in relationship - when someone pulls in and shuts down, the damage done trying to get them to open up before they want to can actually be quite devastating!

Even clams will die in their "bitter juices" if they don't expel the "waste" of what they have taken in! In relationship, we take in a whole lot of stuff - wisdom dictates we take in the best and leave the rest. Yet, we don't always use wisdom, do we? In fact, we sometimes take in stuff, clamp down on it and allow ourselves to fester in the juices of the garbage we took in! In time, our whole life turns bitter because of what we have been marinating in and on! If we are "clam-like" in our response to attacks within relationship, we may live a long, long time, but we become pretty hardened by what we have marinated in all those years! Bitterness has no part in our lives, yet it takes root quicker than weeds! When words are spoken, our minds latch onto them, form memories around them, and file them away. We rehearse them when we cannot figure out why the other person said them, what was behind them, or when we just want a good pity party. In time, what is rehearsed forms a new reality for us - it clouds how we see the relationship. The root is set, and we are going to harvest a huge crop of resentment if we don't get a handle on it early on!

Every opportunity for the relationship to fail is there, but every opportunity for it to grow in Christ is at our access. It takes opening up to each other and God in order to get in freshness - it takes letting go of the gunk we have clamped down on for so long in order to bring in newness. All of us has the potential to be the clam. All of us have the potential to be the one who brings freshness into the relationship. It may not be the easiest thing to be a peacemaker, but if you find yourself being impressed to be one today, step out and see the potential in the newness you can bring into someone's life today. It may be the only "fresh water" they have taken in for a long, long time! Just sayin!

A laden soul

May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to you, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

John Maxwell reminds us, "People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude." What does your attitude say today? Does it reveal your tiredness or frustration? Does it shine forth with encouragement and hope? We actually 'choose' our attitude, but we would like to blame our attitude on others or circumstances. If it is bad, we blame it on the bad stuff happening in our lives. If it is jubilant, we attribute it to the good stuff going on around us. Spoken words reveal much, but our unspoken thoughts often come across in our attitude. Don't believe me? When was the last time you looked at your posture when you are in the depths of thought about something that is giving you a bit of trouble? How is your posture when you are well-rested versus weary from a lack of the proper rest? Your posture might just reveal a bit of that 'inner thought' attitude you have going on right now!

When both our spoken words and unspoken thoughts are influenced by the Spirit of God within us, we are more likely to reveal an attitude of grace, love, and forgiveness. Those three things go a long, long way toward elevating one's attitude! They can unburden even the most laden of souls. Holding onto a grudge - the feeling that you have been wronged - will just lead to a 'laden attitude'. Your inner thoughts will betray your outward facade. What you believe about the other person will eventually come through loud and clear even when you don't say a thing! Love generously, forgive freely, and give grace where it is least deserved - then see what that does to lighten your burden. 

In closing today, I'd like us to each answer the questions posed by clergyman Henri Nouwen: "Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come." What fruit will you bear today isn't just revealed in your spoken words - the real fruit may be hidden in the recesses of your unspoken thoughts. Let the Spirit of God lead you into those recesses today - bringing to light any area where you are holding onto things that only serve to burden your soul. Then let go. Just sayin!

Take care of you

 Have you ever found yourself getting kind of critical about the way another lives, the choices they make, or how they do this or that? I catch myself doing that on occasion - focusing on something I can 'zero in on' about another - because it takes YOUR eyes off of ME, if even for that moment in time. There was a time when one 'church-goer' was observed being critical of how they 'did church' down the road from their church. As time went on, there was a whole lot of criticism generated about the 'way they worship'. Believe it or not, the whole thing boiled down to where they bought their groceries! This story comes right out of scripture, my friends! During the time the Apostle Paul was teaching and mentoring new believers in Christ, one group of believers were super-critical of another just because they bought their food items from 'pagan' storekeepers. Another term you may be familiar with in 'church circles' is 'buying meat that had been offered to idols'. The one group believed the other was wrong because to be 'pure' one could not buy food items from those 'pagans' who may have a practice of offering the blood of the animal on a pagan altar. Goodness, we can sure be petty sometimes, can't we? They even criticized each other for the day of the week they worshipped, the days they considered to be 'holy days', and other such nonsense. What does criticism do? We think it points out how 'wrong' someone is, but in truth, it points out how petty we are.

Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture: “As I live and breathe,” God says, “every knee will bow before me;  Every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.” So mind your own business. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God. (Romans 14:11-12)

Paul's got great advice for us - mind your own business! Take care of your own life before God - let God take care of your neighbor's! Whenever I find myself crossing the line with criticizing another's choices in life, I have to stop for a moment to ask myself what my motivation is in doing that. Most of the time, I am disappointed in their choice - I would have liked to see them make a more 'informed decision'. Does my criticism do them any good? Does it do me any good? The answer to both is a resounding 'no'. Why? All my criticism does is create an atmosphere of discontent, judgment, and even animosity. So, why do we do it? Why do we get so wrapped up in the criticism of others? I said it earlier - it takes the eyes off of us for even a short period of time and places those eyes on another. For just a moment, we are pointing the attention toward another - an action we hope will keep another from seeing just how we are likely to do exactly the same thing in our own lives! You've heard it said we are most critical of what we see in others because we also see it in ourselves - this is quite true. We 'see' it others because we first observe it in the mirror each morning at our own house!

A good rule of thumb is to consider why it is we are about to say whatever it is we are thinking. Is it pure? Will it uplift? Will it help or hinder? Most of our criticism of others doesn't really help anyone - in fact, it makes the other person look bad, but it also makes us look pretty small, too. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not saying I don't have this issue in my own life - because I can find myself drifting into this 'critical' mindset from time to time. It isn't a comfortable place for me though. Why? I have asked God to make it uncomfortable! Why? I know it harms relationships - it is against his command to love others - and it is just not my place to judge another. It took me almost half a lifetime to figure that one out, my friends. It is NOT my place - not my responsibility to judge, not my role to judge, not my calling to judge. No matter how I say it - it isn't my job. There is but one who is qualified to judge another's actions as right or wrong, pure or impure, holy or sinful - that is God alone. The one who is without sin is the one who is capable of judging sin - period. 

I wish it didn't occur to me to be critical of others, but my 'thinker' goes there from time to time. I don't like that I get a little 'judgmental' of others, but God is working on me to help me keep the right focus of taking care of my own life before his throne of grace and then lifting up another at that same throne of grace so HE can do what he needs to do in their lives. He may use us in some way to help another grow and change their choices, so we want to be willing to be used by him. In turn, we both grow in the relationship. I am not gonna get this right all the time, but I have committed to get it right most of the time and with God's help, I will get it right more each day. Just sayin!

Squirming a little?

As a wee kiddo, my brother enjoyed pestering me from time to time. Nothing pleased me more! I loved his teasing, endured his tickle-fests, and absolutely adored his willingness to take time for his little sis. 
One of my fondest memories of Chris is his teasing - he liked to absolutely pester me in the most loving ways! Oh, don't get me wrong - even MY pestering him seemed to be enjoyed on his end! Most of the time, those 'pestering moments' would end in me being swept into the air, swung around, or pinned like a squished bug under the weight of his body while I had the giggles tickled right out of me. When I could barely catch my breath any longer, he'd set me down or let me loose. Some things in this lifetime "pester" us in a good way - others not so much!

When I was beleaguered and bitter, totally consumed by envy, I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox in your very presence. I'm still in your presence, but you've taken my hand. You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then you bless me. (Psalm 73:21-24)

Bitterness is one of those things that absolutely "pesters" us in a not so 'good' manner. The sad truth about bitterness is that it has a consuming effect. Try as he might, my brother could not totally make me disappear under the weight of his body during those tickle-fests - I just squirmed too much to be totally hidden! Bitterness is quite different - it has a weight strong enough and big enough to consume us totally! Whenever Chris pinned me down, mom was usually not that far away, watching over me to make sure the teasing and tickling didn't go too far. She would come to my rescue on occasion - hearing my cries for "deliverance", just not able to endure even one more tickle. There is not a whole lot of squirming we can do to get out from under the load bitterness puts upon us - it takes deliverance from the load - and a deliverer to get it off of us!

I looked up some of the synonyms for "beleaguer" and guess what I found? A whole lot of words which emphasize the complete and utter sense of hopelessness we feel whenever bitterness is allowed to take root. It carries the idea of being harassed, pestered, badgered, vexed, plagued and annoyed. Now, if you have never really thought about that weight of bitterness you might be carrying, those words might just say it all. HARASS - carries the idea of being tormented so thoroughly and with such consistency that it becomes commonplace in our lives. In other words, when we are feeling like there is no way of escape it is probably because of the repetitiveness of the attacks that bitterness wages in our heart, mind, and emotions.

Then comes along this idea of being PESTERED with persistent troubling of the mind, will, or emotions until the weight of the trouble is felt continually. An obsolete meaning of this word is to "overcrowd". This is how bitterness effects us - it overcrowds us with its worries and stress. It weighs us down because of the persistent attacks. Being BADGERED means that we are being 'baited' until we are so disturbed by the bait that we finally "bite". Bitterness actually "baits" us into responses we'd rather avoid. No fish on a hook ever intended to swallow the hook! They just wanted the bait! To VEX carries the idea of being stirred up, placing into motion what otherwise would have been left unaffected if left alone and not stirred. Gotta ask...what would be better left undisturbed in your mind, heart, or emotions today? Nothing delights the devil more than stirring up what should "settle out".

As with the other meanings, this idea of being PLAGUED has several meanings. In a medical sense, we'd consider this an epidemic or pandemic - capable of infecting a huge group of people simply by the actions of one 'infected' organism! Bitterness has a far-reaching affect, does it not? In the simplest sense, this is like a bur under the saddle - it annoys repeatedly until we worry on it a while - doing and saying things we'd normally not say or do. Before long, that one 'organism' of 'foul feelings' begins to multiply until it reaches astronomical proportions. That leads us to our last point - being ANNOYED by life. I was surprised to know the meaning of this word included the idea of being molested. Bitterness is kind of like an outright molestation - it "violates" us and others.

If our eyes aren't opened to just how much bitterness becomes a consuming and overwhelming force within us, we need to re-read these again! God says it is a consuming force and one to be avoided at all cost. When we don't get what it is we think we "deserve" in a relationship, don't we begin this course down the 'bitterness path' with perhaps the initial thought of "I deserve better"? If we are to be out from under the weight of bitterness, we need to do more than "squirm" around under its weight! No amount of squirming will help us get out of the building pressure. The squirming might relieve a little of the weight here and there, but we are still under the weight. My bro would let me "come up for air" once every now and again! But...until mom intervened, I wasn't out from under his weight fully! Until Christ intervenes, we are never fully delivered from the weight of bitterness and envy. "You've taken my hand". We actually need to be lifted up and led away from the hold bitterness has on us. This is God's work - deliverance involves more than just removing the weight - it incorporates the "relocating" of our focus. Eyes are turned to him - emotions are healed, heart re-aligned, and mind renewed. In turn, the weight is no longer a threat. It might just be time for us to realize "squirming" never brings deliverance! Just sayin!

Don't just pucker up!

We've all seen that little plaque somewhere that announces, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I think this is probably somebody's way of trying to keep lemonade stands in business! Truth be told, you can only take so much lemonade! A steady diet of lemonade gets to taste pretty bitter after a while and it changes what the 'inside' of your body looks like! Your physical body can only handle so much "acidic" intake before it starts to rebel with changes internally that you may not fully recognize until they have created a state of imbalance that you cannot easily bounce back from. Even when lemon juice is applied externally, to the skin or the like, it has an effect of lightening the skin, or making the places it touches very raw from the acidic nature of the lemon juice. Guess what - your spiritual state of "balance" can be equally as disturbed by a steady diet of "bitterness" just as easily - bitterness acting like an 'emotional acid' that eats away at both internal and external structures of your life. 

If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; but when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. (Proverbs 29:18)

At times, not being able to see what God is doing leads to us stumbling all over ourselves. Sometimes, we even stumble all over each other in the process of just 'stumbling around' with bitterness at the root of our lives. For many of us, "not seeing what God is doing" can be a little more common-place than we think. I know it took me a long while in my own life to finally come to the place where I actually took the time to just settle myself down long enough to finally get to the place that God could even begin to show me what he was doing! I charged around in the chaos and clutter of the moment, wondering all along what God was doing, but not even bothering getting quiet in my spirit long enough for him to speak to me. I was adding even more chaos to the situation by my inattention to God.

The danger of becoming more focused on what you can do with the "lemons" in life than on how God wants you to be processing those "lemons" is that we may become very bitter by their influence over us. Whenever we give life's issues more attention than we give God, we get chaos, clutter, and calamity. Where chaos is present, the soil of our hearts, minds, and spirits are ripe for a harvest of bitter fruit. Chaos is a state of utter confusion, disorder, or turmoil. In chaos, we don't see or hear clearly - we interpret things through a perspective that is clouded by the acidic nature of the circumstances. Acid burns - it creates a sour mood, unkind responses, and unintended consequences. Acid also has a way of 'corroding' what once was good.

It is a fine line between being caught up in the moment and being silent in God's presence. That is exactly how God intends to keep us from a steady intake of "lemonade" that turns us bitter on the inside! In the quiet of his presence, we are "re-balanced". Whenever I find myself interpreting life's issues as though they are lemons just ripe for making lemonade, God helps me to remember that I really don't like the taste of lemonade! His Holy Spirit is kind of like our spiritual "litmus" paper - that tiny strip of paper that lets us see if a substance is acidic or alkaline. Too acidic and we need to re-balance in order to not become bitter old bags! Too alkaline and we need to re-balance in order to actually have any impact as the salt of this earth! As you may have heard, to be "blessed" is to be happy. It is not a promise that God will lavish all kinds of material blessings on us, but rather a reminder that our hearts, minds, and spirits will be "re-centered" on what matters, what gives true hope, and what will create inner peace in the time of trial. If life is giving you lemons right now, ask God to show you how to handle the lemons. Get quiet long enough for the Spirit of God to show you just how much of that 'acidic influence' you have internalized and how it has affected your inner spirit. When we do, he can bring balance again and help us to avoid the bitterness that comes when we try to deal with truckloads of lemons all on our own! Just sayin!

Don't just pucker up!

If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals,

they are most blessed.  (Proverbs 29:18)

"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." This was Dale Carnegie's way of telling us to keep a positive focus on a whole lot of negative stuff that is happening to us in life - from business difficulties to personal ones. Have you ever noticed that after a while a steady diet of lemonade gets to taste pretty bitter! If your physical body can only handle so much "acidic" intake before it starts to rebel with changes internally that you may not fully recognize until they have created a state of imbalance that you cannot easily bounce back from, what about the 'rest of you'. Guess what - your spiritual state of "balance" can be equally as disturbed by a steady diet of "bitterness". The bitterness of life can present us with much difficulty in our physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational health!

Our passage reminds us that not being able to see what God is doing leads to us kind of stumbling all over ourselves. Sometimes we even find ourselves stumbling all over each other in the process of trying to make forward progress beyond the bitter stuff in life. For many of us, "not seeing what God is doing" can be more common-place than some may think. It took me a long while in my own walk to finally come to the place where I took the time to just settle myself down long enough to finally get to the place that God could even show me what he was doing instead of just getting all wigged out about the 'unkind' things that were happening! I charged around in the chaos of the moment, wondering all along what God was doing, but not even bothering being quiet in my spirit or emotions long enough for him to speak to me. I was adding even more chaos to the situation by my inattention to God and my unwillingness to take control of my emotions instead of allowing them to control me.

The danger of becoming more focused on how we can deal with the "lemons" in life than on how God wants us to be processing those "lemons" is that we may become very bitter by their influence inside us. Whenever we give life's issues more attention than we give God, we get chaos - we get 'wigged out' by the very 'sour' stuff of life. Where chaos is present, the soil of our hearts, minds, and spirits are ripe for a harvest of very bitter or sour fruit. Chaos is a state of utter confusion, disorder, or turmoil. In chaos, we don't see clearly because we interpret things through a perspective that is clouded by the acidic nature of the circumstances. Acid burns and it creates a sour mood, unkind responses, and unintended consequences both to us and to those around us in life.

It is a fine line between being caught up in the moment and being silent in God's presence. It is a matter of the internal will to be very attentive to quieting oneself in the midst of chaos. Yet, as we are reminded in our passage, that is exactly how God intends to keep us from a steady intake of "lemonade" that turns us bitter on the inside! In the quiet of his presence, we are "re-balanced" - the acidic stuff of life is allowed to 'neutralize' in his presence. Whenever I find myself interpreting life's issues as though they are lemons just ripe for making lemonade, God helps me to remember that I really don't like the taste of lemonade! His Holy Spirit is kind of like our spiritual "litmus" paper - that tiny strip of paper that lets us see if a substance is acidic or alkaline. Too acidic and we need to re-balance in order to not become bitter old bags! Too alkaline and we need to re-balance in order to have any impact as the salt of this earth!

As you may have heard, to be "blessed" is to be happy. It is not a promise that God will lavish all kinds of material blessings on us, but rather a reminder that our hearts, minds, and spirits will be "re-centered" on what matters, what gives true hope, and what will create inner peace in the time of trial. If life is giving you lemons right now, ask God to show you how to handle the lemons. Get quiet long enough for the Spirit of God to show you just how much of those lemons you have internalized and how they have affected your inner spirit. When you do, he can and will bring balance again and help you to avoid the bitterness that comes when we try to deal with truckloads of lemons all on your own! Just sayin!

The Jungle Book

I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you abide in Me and I in you, you will bear great fruit. Without Me, you will accomplish nothing. Your abundant growth and your faithfulness as My followers will bring glory to the Father. (John 15:5,8 VOICE)

I had the opportunity to spend some time home with mom this week and on one particular afternoon which found her dozing peacefully, I turned on a movie thinking I'd drift off into a peaceful nap time, as well. It was the remake of Jungle Book and I had not yet seen it. Within minutes, although my eyes were drowsy and my mind was exhausted from having to deal with medical issues for mom, I found myself unable to doze. The story just captured my attention and there I was, desperately in need of some rest, but enthralled in the imagery and story before me. As you may know the story, the "man cub" was adopted by a pack of wolves. I am not sure how he developed all his ability to talk with the wolves, tigers, leopards, and birds, but he could. He lived among them and actually was viewed as "one of them" until one day a very old and scarred tiger named Shere Khan came upon the scene to challenge him. Shere Khan was old and bitter, having been left scarred by the burns he received while killing the father of this boy much earlier in the story. He was angry, manipulative, and vindictive - three very common traits of anyone who allows bitterness to take root.

As the story went on, the boy finds himself fleeing to save his life - at least that is what he thought he'd do by escaping the "nearness" to such a bitter and angry opponent. The trouble is that no matter how much we think we distance ourselves from bitter people, they have a way of finding us! They have some kind of "bitterness radar" that just helps them hone in on our location and they do so because they think they are going to destroy our lives through their bitterness. The real potential of them doing this is pretty minimal, though, because it is hard for one who is rooted well to produce the same fruit as one who has his or her roots deeply embedded in the soil of bitterness. It isn't so much that they cannot wreak havoc in our lives by their bitter shenanigans and hurtful deeds, it is that they cannot change where it is we find our rooting! That place of rooting is what will determine the fruit we bear even faced with the awfulness of the bitterness and anger around us.

In case you haven't seen or read The Jungle Book, I will not spoil the plot or give you the ending, but know this - it is a good story for all of us to consider for it speaks to several values we might do well to consider:

- Family is not so much determined by birth as much as it is determined by nurture. Those wolves nurtured the young boy, helping him to always remember the value of others - the power of the "pack", so to speak. The relationship he formed with those other members of the pack was so important - constantly remembering we were not to pursue our own devices, but be mindful of the needs and feelings of others around us.

- There is a place and time for new experiences. The young boy made new friends as he fled for his life, some which thought they could manipulate him to get him to do as they wished. Yet, in the end, they discovered they valued each other - not because of what they could "get" from one another, but because together they were better than when they stood alone. 

- The fruit we bear is directly related to the root we cultivate. There is no changing the fruit until we change the root! Just sayin!

I gotta let this go!

A single correction makes a more lasting impression on one who is wise than a hundred lashes do on a fool.  (Proverbs 17:10 VOICE)

Just before this verse comes the instruction about forgiveness - it fosters love whenever forgiveness is extended in sincerity. I think people who are open to correction are also very forgiving people - first because they have learned to admit to their own wrongs and forgive themselves, as well as being able to not hold another in a position of "owing" them for any misdeeds. Bitter people are seldom delighted to embrace correction - especially the first time they hear it. They want to justify their position of being angry with another, so they just hold onto their position (right or wrong) and let the juices eat at them a while.

As the rest of the passage goes, it reminds us of the need to release others because holding onto a thousand wrongs done by the other person only makes us very bitter people.  It is almost like it chains us to the ugliness of our memories and we just get stuck in the mire and muck of all those misgivings, misdeeds, and missed opportunities.  To constantly recall wrong-doing is to drive the nail in even deeper - ensuring we hold onto the bitterness a little bit longer.  The problem with recall is sometimes we recall the worst stuff easier than we do the best!

I have often wondered why that is the case - why we can think of all the bad stuff quicker and easier than we can think of the good stuff - but honestly I am not sure any of us really know.  We are kind of flawed ourselves, so I imagine it could be that it is easy to see flaws in another since we are always looking at them in ourselves, too.  There is an old saying that reminds us it takes one to know one.  In other words, we are sensitive to the things in others that we are often struggling with ourselves.  If they are negative, chances are we are struggling to keep a positive attitude ourselves.  If they are cheaters, always looking for the easy way out, maybe we are a little bit the same.

That isn't what we probably want to hear, though.  We don't want to associate the "bad stuff" we see in another as something we could possibly have as part of our make-up.  We want to think we are "better than that", but I think if we dig a little bit deeper, we might just figure out we are not that much different. We are experienced in the same sin as the guy we are holding the grudge against - maybe not manifested in exactly the same way, but we have a way of manifesting the same root-cause, just in a different "form" outwardly.

A fool takes lash after lash, still not learning from those lashes.  I wish I could say I have learned from the lash the first time each and every time, but I will be the first to admit, I am a little more than foolish when it comes to learning from some of my sin!  I have been known to need a few more lashes on occasion! To learn from our mistakes, we must first own up to them.  To own up to them might just mean we have to admit the blame we wanted to pin on another lies squarely on our shoulders.  The relationship mess we are in might just be because we first started down the slippery slope of unforgiveness or holding things against the other person.  In fact, the more we did it, the more comfortable we became with engaging in that kind of "justification" of our anger, bitterness, and resulting unforgiving attitude.

I would love nothing more than to see each of us move from the side of the fool to the side of the wise - learning from one simple correction instead of the multitude of lashes!  I think we can make great strides toward this position when we finally are willing to do the work of letting go of the stuff we should not have held onto in the first place!  Just sayin!

Bitter sets the teeth on edge

Have you ever bitten into a piece of fruit which had all the right coloring, smelled wonderful, but somehow was just too tart or bitter on the inside?  It is like the development arrested and the fruit never came to the place it was fully ripe.  Remember what that did to your teeth, tongue, and taste buds?  It was like an assault to them, right?  The bitterness lasted, even when you spit out the nastiness of the bite you took.  I have heard people describe the sensation as "having their teeth set on edge" by the bitterness of the fruit.  Some of us think the bitter taste will go away, but did you know that some people actually don't taste "bitter" as you or I do?  In fact, depending upon the level of dietary iodine we may ingest, we might all sense "bitterness" a little differently.  I wonder if this difference with how we "taste" the bitter we ingest in life is similar to how some may be deeply affected by the hurtful and bitter things another does, while others seemingly walk away pretty well unaffected by it?

Your words can be as satisfying as fruit, as pleasing as the food that fills your stomach. The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings. (Proverbs 18:20-21 ERV)

I think there are individuals who will take in a steady diet for a while, developing a "taste" for whatever it is they are given to ingest.  It may not have been pleasant at first, but the more they ingest it, the more immune they become to the unpleasant taste.  It is kind of like when you first tried the veggies on your infant child - they didn't like their taste as well as the fruits, so they squirmed away when you tried to coax them to take a little.  This is the principle behind the pediatrician telling you to start with veggies and leave the fruits till last. You are convincing them to "take in" what is the least pleasant for them, but which will give them the necessary stuff to help them grow up strong.  They might not enjoy the experience, but it is not going to kill them!

I wonder how many of us go through life "not enjoying the experience", but going through it anyway simply because someone has convinced us it won't "kill us".  The reality is that we are affected by all which comes into our lives - good, bad, sweet, or bitter.  We cannot deny the influence of each of these - some will be quite enjoyable and easily appreciated; others will be very difficult and quite difficult to see as valuable.  The times when bitterness is all around us, I don't think our reaction is much different - we just want to spit it out!  We don't crave the bitter taste - at least not at first.  In time, the more we taste the bitter, the more our taste buds will become desensitized to the bitter and will actually allow us to take it in without having that same "teeth set on edge" reaction.

What has happened?  We have been "desensitized" due to the frequency of the exposure to the bitter thing.  That which once caused us so much discomfort becomes something we are almost immune to now.  This is not always good, though, because those initial reactions of "rejecting" the bitter are there for a reason.  The bitterness of the unripened fruit is what should keep us from ingesting it and becoming ill from taking it into our bodies.  When we develop a tolerance to the bitter, we often go way beyond a place of safety when it comes to what we will allow into our lives!  Spiritually and emotionally speaking, the bitterness of life is going to challenge us a bit at first, but when we are continually bombarded by it, we cannot help but develop a "tolerance" to it.

Words might be bitter when first spoken, producing an immediate "ill-effect". In time, when we are constantly bombarded by these sheer volume of bitter and harmful words, or words which ought to produce a bitter taste within us, we might just begin to develop a tolerance to what we continue to allow to be taken in!  This is perhaps why God asks us to pay so close attention to the words we speak and those which we allow to penetrate our minds and hearts.  These very words can be the starting point for a tolerance to the bitterness of life - rather than us rejecting that which produces bitterness within, we actually find ourselves running toward it!  We need to weigh our words carefully and those which we will allow to "penetrate" our minds and hearts.  

We need to take a lesson from our initial reaction to the unripened fruit.  That bitter taste immediately makes us want to reject it and be rid of it as quickly as possible.  When we hear those bitter words of another, we also need to be as quick to reject those as something which is just not "fitting" for our lives.  Just sayin!

Set on edge by life's disappointments?

As time has passed, I have discovered brokenhearted people get a little bitter.  It is kind of hard to separate the two of these things from each other.  One actually feeds the other and it is kind of like no matter how hard you try to break free of one, you cannot until you really break free of both.  Bitterness just doesn't arrive on your doorstep one morning beckoning you to invite it in.  It usually comes because we have been disappointed with results of something, dreams have been shattered, or we have had our feelings tremendously put into a tailspin by someone.  Brokenhearted people invite bitterness in, not the other way around. I know this to be a fact, not because I see it in others, but because I lived it in my own life. It is so easy to drift into bitterness when our hearts have been shattered by the actions of another.  In time, we justify our bitterness because we feel we deserved better.  We sacrificed for the other person, made little adjustments in our lives to accommodate their needs, and then they go and do something which leaves us in a mess of emotions we just begin to nurse.  In time, these nursed emotions become tiny roots of bitter feeling - raw nerve endings which are "pricked" every time someone even looks at us wrong.  These are magnified over and over again until we have nursed those emotions into a frenzy of bitter thoughts.  If you have ever tasted a truly bitter thing, you know how difficult it can be to get that taste out of your mouth. For a very long time, that feeling it leaves behind is there and you must do something to rid yourself of it or it will stick around causing you a whole lot more discomfort if you don't.  The same is true of these emotions we nurse which turn a little too sour for our liking.  We have to actually do something to get rid of them or they will continue to cause us discomfort.

Once I was bitter and brokenhearted. I was stupid and ignorant, and I treated you as a wild animal would. But I never really left you, and you hold my right hand. Your advice has been my guide, and later you will welcome me in glory. In heaven I have only you, and on this earth you are all I want. My body and mind may fail, but you are my strength and my choice forever. (Psalm 73:21-26 CEV)

One of the first things I needed to recognize when dealing with my own bitterness came as I began to want to lay all the blame on someone else for the misery and misfortune I believed I was facing because of their actions.  In truth, many of the emotions I was dealing with were my own sense of frustration, disappointment, and angst over the things "I" had done in the relationship.  It wasn't so much about the other guy - it was about me!  Once I began to allow God to deal with my part in the issue, I began to see the things I was holding onto and justifying as "righteous indignation" toward the other guy were really just selfish ways to attempt to hold the other guy in bondage over the issue at hand.  Yeah, I was thinking I could actually control or wreak havoc on their emotions, causing them a little of the emotional turmoil I was experiencing!  Now, how foolish is that?  You don't have to tell me, because I came full faced into the mirror of my foolishness!  When I began to see how all this angst I was creating was really not "righteous indignation", but rather selfish bitterness, I had a little bit of confessing to do.  In essence, I had done what David penned above - I was treating the other person as a wild animal would - snapping at them, looking to do some harm, trying to weaken them so they would be "lame" and stumble themselves.  Not so "righteous" of behavior - was it?  

The good news is that God never left me in my bitterness.  Even when I was acting foolishly and holding onto stuff because I thought those things needed to be nursed a little, he walked right there beside me.  God may not stop us from acting with prideful intent, or responding to life's disappointments with bitterness and heartbreak, but he is there once we are willing to turn fully to him for his help.  This is probably the most important thing I can tell you today - God doesn't abandon us in our bitterness and brokenhearted mess of a state. He might not like the "taste" of what he is experiencing as we nurse all that bitterness, but he isn't going to allow us to walk through it alone.  He isn't put off by our acting like wild animals!  He may allow us to nurse our brokenness a little while - because he wants us to come to the place we are finally ready to let it go.  He won't force that on us - he is too much of a "gentleman" to do that!

When we finally come to the place of being willing to let go of the brokenness, he is there to begin to put the pieces back together.  A word of advice here - the more pieces there are, the harder it is to put something back together.  It isn't impossible, but it is more difficult. The thing to understand is that nursing those "wronged feelings" too long will lead to a whole lot more destruction of our heart and mind than we might have originally imagined.  We might just think those things weren't getting as deeply affected by our bitterness, but we really don't see the far-reaching impact of bitterness until we try to get all the root of it out!  It is kind of like crab-grass.  That stuff can trail off forever and ever - with an underground root system that brings it up over here and then over there.  We have to treat the whole yard in order to rid ourselves of the crab-grass, not just the immediate place we see it.  The same is true when it comes to nursing bitterness in our lives - it has deep roots not always seen right now in this moment.  Sometimes other activities will expose the evidence of the root still being active in us.  When this happens, we need to confess we see another "root" and allow God to do the work of extracting that root.  Do this often enough and the things we allowed to root will begin to die!

Remembering that bitterness begins with someone or something affecting our heart, we need to guard our hearts.  Maybe this is why God places such a premium on the heart - it is easily affected by whatever has the most influence over it at the moment.  If we allow God to be the object of our affection, it is difficult to allow other things (or people) to affect our heart negatively.  There isn't time to nurse the wounds we might experience.  When we make God the object of our affection, any wounds we might experience in this life are immediately taken to him for mending.  This is how we guard against the root of bitterness.  It took me about forty years to recognize this. It is my hope we all break free from the things which have broken our hearts and allow God to heal those areas where we are truly broken and bitter.  Only in this release is there true freedom and enjoyment of his grace.  Just sayin!

Clams have hard shells

The opportunities to be beaten down by this world and the stuff we have to face in it are innumerable.  We find ourselves constantly on the alert for the next "attack" - hoping it will not catch us unaware or gawking at something meaningless.  When the attacks come from someone we are in relationship with, and they will come, our attitude toward those who are attacking us makes a huge difference in the outcome!  All we see is the attack - what we need to see is the one behind the attack.  All we deal with is the attack - we forget about the force behind it - whether it be jealousy, bitterness, or fear (to name only a few). All attacks within relationship stem from some form of emotion - the one attacking is experiencing something which they respond to in a way which is less than honoring or holy.  In turn, your response is a little bit outside of the perspective you should be maintaining in the moment.  This is natural - we respond in a defensive manner because we are being attacked.  Perhaps one of the greatest struggles we will face in this life is to respond with wisdom and sensibility when others attack us.

Are any of you wise or sensible? Then show it by living right and by being humble and wise in everything you do.  But if your heart is full of bitter jealousy and selfishness, don’t brag or lie to cover up the truth. That kind of wisdom doesn’t come from above. It is earthly and selfish and comes from the devil himself.  Whenever people are jealous or selfish, they cause trouble and do all sorts of cruel things.  But the wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine, and sincere.  When peacemakers plant seeds of peace, they will harvest justice.  (James 3:14-18 CEV)

Get in a position of not seeing eye-to-eye with another in relationship and you will soon note that sensibility is something which flies out the window.  Both parties somehow forget how to act toward the other - they are responding to the emotion of the moment.  In turn, things get said, attitudes get displayed, and memories are planted which just don't belong within the relationship.  This is how bitterness and resentment get started.  Sensibility is just the capacity to experience senses - we need wisdom to keep those senses in check!

We need an acuteness of apprehension when it comes to relationship issues. The things which are said don't actually reflect reality - but they do reflect reality to the other person.  We know there must be something behind those words which come as an attack - but we aren't seeing the relationship moment the same way they are - so we need this wisdom from above to weed our way through the messiness of relationship.  One response to being threatened, or feeling like you have not been understood in relationship is to become a clam. The individual pulls tightly into their shell and closes down.  If you have ever tried to get a live clam open, you know you are struggling against their desire to stay "shut up".  The same is true in relationship - when someone pulls in and shuts down, the damage done trying to get them to open up before they want to can actually be quite devastating!

The clam can stay in their shell for a long period of time, but eventually it has to open the shell and take in freshness.  If it doesn't, it putrefies in the byproduct of what it has taken in before it shut down!  At first, this may not seem like a really big revelation to anyone, but even clams will die in their "bitter juices" if they don't expel the "waste" of what they have taken in!  In relationship, we take in a whole lot of stuff - wisdom dictates we take in the best and leave the rest.  Yet, we don't always use wisdom, do we?  In fact, we sometimes take in stuff, clamp down on it and allow ourselves to fester in the juices of the garbage we took in!  In time, our whole life turns bitter because of what we have been marinating in and on!

Did you know clams are one of the longest living creatures on this earth?  There have been some found who probably are well over 200 years old.  Why does this matter to us?  If we are "clam-like" in our response to attacks within relationship, we may live a long, long time, but we become pretty hardened by what we have marinated in all those years!  Bitterness has no part in our lives, yet it takes root quicker than weeds!  When words are spoken, our minds latch onto them, form memories around them, and file them away.  We rehearse them when we cannot figure out why the other person said them, what was behind them, or when we just want a good pity party.  In time, what is rehearsed forms a new reality for us - it clouds how we see the relationship. The root is set and we are going to harvest a huge crop of resentment if we don't get a handle on it early on!

Every opportunity for the relationship to fail is at our disposal.  Equally so, every opportunity for it to grow in Christ is at our access.  It takes opening up to get in freshness - it takes letting go of the gunk we have clamped down on for so long in order to bring in newness.  All of us has the potential to be the clam.  All of us have the potential to be the one who brings freshness into the relationship.  It may not be the easiest thing to be a peacemaker, but if you find yourself being impressed to be one today, step out and see the potential in the newness you can bring into someone's life today. It may be the only "fresh water" they have taken in for a long, long time!  Just sayin!

Getting beyond envy

We can miss what is right in front of our face - almost without even noticing. Why?  We have explored this very thought many times - it is because we see what we focus upon - a lack of focus on something makes it easy to miss the subtleties of it.  You have probably heard something like, "More is read than said", meaning more is observed in our non-verbal communication than with just our words.  When there is a disconnect between the two - such as saying one thing, but our actions showing another - we can be "read" by others as not really meaning what we say.  My pastor has a saying, "More is caught than taught", meaning almost the same thing - actions have a greater impact than our words.  When we get our eyes on the stuff which really doesn't matter, we have the capability of missing the stuff which really does.

No doubt about it! God is good—good to good people, good to the good-hearted.  But I nearly missed it, missed seeing his goodness.  I was looking the other way, looking up to the people at the top, envying the wicked who have it made, who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.  When I was beleaguered and bitter, totally consumed by envy, I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox in your very presence.  I’m still in your presence,  but you’ve taken my hand.  You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then you bless me.  (Psalm 73:1-5; 21-24 MSG)

The tendency to look at others and compare ourselves with others is risky business.  We get our eyes off the place where our true provision comes and the one from whom it is assured.  We turn inward, beginning to regret our choices, question our blessings, and challenge our beliefs - all because we are looking upon what is displayed outwardly rather than seeing what is lived out inwardly.  When all we see is the blessing or the good stuff the wicked seem to enjoy, we forget to look deeper into the heart to see what really "drives" or "energizes" them.  The tendency to look only upon the outward severely impacts our ability to accurately interpret the source of their blessing.  You see, their blessing is not from the hand of the Lord, but because they have worked their fingers to the bone to obtain them.  They are obtained by their own effort - and often their own "line of credit" with the local credit card companies!

We do this comparison "thing" more than we might like to admit.  We see a co-worker get noticed for a project they have been working on, but when ours isn't highlighted in the spotlight of the same praise, we feel slighted.  We hear someone thank another for their efforts to make a day special, all the while thinking we are chopped liver for the contributions we have made to the day!  This is where the rubber meets the road, my friends.  When we begin to get our "undies in a bundle" over the blessings, fortunes, honor, or fame another has, we are slipping in some pretty "slimy" business.  There should be no doubt in your mind - envy is compared with the color green - making envy the "slime" of the brain and emotions which we can slip upon and fall if we are not careful!

Envy gets our eyes off the one who brings all blessing.  It takes our attention away from the gifts we already possess - focusing us instead on "more" or "better" or "improved".  Truth is - God cannot improve upon his blessings - they are all good and all beyond our counting.  Envy has a "breeding ground" in our minds and emotions.  Let it get out of control, and it can overwhelm you.  Envy doesn't necessarily kill us, but it does some pretty damaging things:

- It divides relationships.  Envy has a way of putting up walls between one person and another.  Things and people get "played" against each other, and in turn, the relationship begins to be affected by the bitterness and jealousy which forms.  

- It shifts attention from what matters.  When envy is allowed to take root, it takes our eyes off the things which really matter, like keeping God first in our lives, loving our neighbors as ourselves, and turning the other cheek.

- It hardens our heart.  A hard heart is prone to living with much guilt and regret for past decisions made.  The time which passes while living with the bitterness of envy only brings further regret and a larger gap between us and right standing with God.

Therefore, it is pretty important that we don't stand before God as "dumb oxen", filled with all kinds of envy, pride and bitterness.  How do we keep ourselves away from the dangerous snare of envy?  First and foremost, I think we have to remember God is in control of our lives.  Today's blessings may not seem as significant as what we can see in the lives of those around us, but trust me, too many "blessings" can actually become "curses" in the lives of those who pursue the blessing, but not the one who blesses.  The basis of God's blessings in our lives is the greatness of his love toward us.  We need never forget this one point - he loved us FIRST.  So much so that he GAVE us his best.  We may not always remember this - but if we begin to focus on this again and again as envy tries to gain ground in our lives, we will surely be humbled by the greatness of the blessings we have and the magnificence of the one who blesses us.  Just sayin!

Got a little residue or after-taste?

Each heart knows its own bitterness.  We pretty much bear our bitterness alone - although others may step in to attempt to help us bear it, it is primarily something we bear alone.  We can experience great joy, but no one can fully experience it the same as we do.  Each of these emotions are really something others attempt to share with us and we with them, but in essence, the joy or bitterness of another is something we can never truthfully fully comprehend and experience in the same manner as the one originally experiencing it.  

Only the person involved can know his own bitterness or joy—no one else can really share it.  Laughter cannot mask a heavy heart. When the laughter ends, the grief remains. Only a simpleton believes everything he’s told! A prudent man understands the need for proof. A wise man is cautious and avoids danger; a fool plunges ahead with great confidence. A short-tempered man is a fool. He hates the man who is patient. The simpleton is crowned with folly; the wise man is crowned with knowledge. (Proverbs 14:10, 13, 15-18 TLB)

Bitterness is a harsh emotion.  If you have ever used an abrasive cleanser to clean your sink, you might just see something after you have finished the cleaning - a residue.  If you did not wear gloves in the process, you might just experience a little bit of an "after-taste" of the cleanser on your skin.  Bitter things often leave an after-taste and a lot of residue.  The after-taste and the residue are really experienced by the one with the bitterness - although others may see the mess left and get a little flavor of the issue which led up to the mess they see.  

Laughter is often used in such a manner so as to attempt to conceal either the mess which has been left behind or the sourness which remains. Oftentimes, even after the laughter ends, a heaviness remains - unspoken, but real to the one experiencing its weight.  Truth is, things which are hard for us to bear or which wear us down are never meant for us to bear alone.  They are also aren't meant for us to hide deep within and never express.  Try as we might, we really can never conceal what leaves a residue or gives a sharp after-taste anyway!

The prudent carefully consider their steps unlike the fool who just believes everything he sees or is told.  This is important in considering how some deal with their bitterness.  When we only brush the surface, we know something is deeper as we experience the "grit" of bitterness.  Yet, if all we do is "listen" to the laughter of the one who is really dealing with the mess left behind by life's tragedy or missteps, we might just hear the extreme hurt and plaguing emptiness bitterness has left in its path.

Laughter is an action or sound.  In most circumstances we'd think it was linked to joy or excitement, but in some situations it may just be a masking of something wearing the individual down on the inside.  We use it as a tool to hide the real emotions we are experiencing.  In fact, we have become quite proficient at concealing our emotions - using one thing to mask another.  The wise will see beyond the action of laughter or the sound of "cheer" it may resemble.  What they will experience when the laughter fades away is the "after-taste" of bitterness.

If we really want to help another bear the weight they are under, we need to cut past the laughter and get at what has left the residue and what brings the offensive after-taste in the first place.  When we consider our sink, scrubbed a little raw by the cleanser, we might just believe what remains is just a sign of the "cleanliness" of the sink.  If we are truthful, the residue which remains isn't very attractive, nor is it pleasing to us because it rubs off on those who come into contact with it.  

How do we deal with the cleanser's residue?  Don't we rinse it time and time again until it has finally all found its way down the drain?  Maybe we might just learn from this illustration as it applies to the residue of bitterness in our lives.  We need a little more than the initial "cleansing" - we need the continual rinsing until the remaining residue and sour after-taste is finally gone!  Truth is - we often don't see the residue because we believe the cleaning was all there was to the matter.  A close friend may be the one who will actually point out the need for the "rinsing" of the residue!  Just sayin!

Oh, and I wanted water!

I have been considering the life of Moses and his leadership over Israel in my recent studies.  One thing I want us to see about Moses is just how God made him a gifted leader.  He didn't just "get" magically awesome answers from God in the spur of the moment - he spent time in God's presence and this connection is what allowed him to receive the "magically awesome answers" to his prayers!  Maybe this seems like it should go without saying, but keep company with God and he will keep company with you.  Most of the world doesn't get this, though.  They choose to keep company with anything BUT God and wonder why they don't have the answers they need when the times seem to challenge them.  All success in life is a matter of this connection - apart from it, there can only be fleeting success.  Today we will consider the things God uses to change our world.

Moses led Israel from the Red Sea on to the Wilderness of Shur. They traveled for three days through the wilderness without finding any water. They got to Marah, but they couldn’t drink the water at Marah; it was bitter. That’s why they called the place Marah (Bitter). And the people complained to Moses, “So what are we supposed to drink?”  So Moses cried out in prayer to God. God pointed him to a stick of wood. Moses threw it into the water and the water turned sweet.  That’s the place where God set up rules and procedures; that’s where he started testing them.  God said, “If you listen, listen obediently to how God tells you to live in his presence, obeying his commandments and keeping all his laws, then I won’t strike you with all the diseases that I inflicted on the Egyptians; I am God your healer.”  They came to Elim where there were twelve springs of water and seventy palm trees. They set up camp there by the water.  (Exodus 15:22-27 MSG)

Sometimes we come up against some pretty bitter places in our lives.  People don't understand us, we are misinterpreted, our paths seem to converge in some place of absolute chaos.  We get the sense no one is "for" us and the world is "against" us.  In those moments, the bitterness can begin to define us or drive us - the difference is in the choice we make when faced with the "sourness" of our circumstances.  Much of the time, the choice of what we will do when we are faced with the "bitter waters" of life is determined by how we handled the last choice we made.  If we chose to complain about the last set of circumstances, chances are we will launch right into complaint this time around, too.  If we pulled away, like a turtle in a shell, hoping it would all just go away, chances are we will respond to the bitterness with avoidance this time.  The only way to change the cycle of our response is to get closer to God's presence in the midst of the circumstance.  Bitter waters are a place of choice.  Probably one of the hardest places to find ourselves is at the place of bitter waters when we have been "doing everything right".  Let me give you a little word of advice here - there is no assurance of refreshing waters just because we are "doing everything right".  There is just an assurance of provision - it may not come exactly as we expected it, but it does come!  

The bitter waters are one thing - the place of no water is another.  These are the seasons where everything in our lives just seems to be dry, dry, dry.  No matter how much we try, all comes back dry and barren.  These are the seasons where we just want to give up and not even try anymore.  At those moments, even bitter water seems better than no water at all!  At least there is water - you cannot enjoy it, but it is there!  One thing we need to see - even the farmer knows the purpose of the barren seasons.  He allows the fields to lay dormant for a while - not because he likes to see them brown and unwatered, but because he knows the "rejuvenation" of the soil comes in allowing the soil to rest a while.  No water seems a little harsh, but even the worst of water will grow weeds!  Some of us are facing these "down times" when the soil of our lives seem a little dry, parched, and totally barren.  In these times, we are tempted to turn to places where we might just find a little water - even the bitter waters.  Please know this - God has you in a season of barrenness not to "do you in", but to prepare you for the next phase of what he plans for the "soil" of your life.

In the places of bitter waters and no waters, we often come across folks who will attempt to get us focused on the condition of the "water" in our lives. They will be quick to point out how bitter our circumstances are, or how absolutely unfair it is for us to be so unproductive during this season.  The temptation for us is to actually listen to these folks instead of God.  The problem comes in their interpretation of the bitter or absent waters.  Their response to the bitter waters might be to complain, become angered over the conditions which led to the bitter waters, etc.  They have an ability to infect us with their negativity.  Those who come alongside to offer their interpretation of the lack of water seem to focus on the inability and unfaithfulness of our God.  They just don't see the work of rejuvenation "under the soil" which is preparing us for the good waters which are to come.  Be careful who you listen to in the midst of these bitter water and no water places.  It will often affect how you interpret these times and can even cause you to get a little bitter or angry yourself!

If you missed the "fix" in the passage above, read it again.  The "fix" one piece of wood - not something they brought along with them in their journey, but something prepared for them IN their journey.  The wood was there because God caused it to be exactly where they needed it to be in order to accomplish the purpose he had for the wood.  Even something as insignificant as a piece of wood in the hands of God can turn the bitterest places into the most refreshing.  The thing God wants us to see is his ability to provide even when it looks like all hope is lost.  If you missed the second part of the passage, read it again.  The bitter waters were the place where God started testing them!  Don't get frustrated with the bitter water and no water places. They are really signs of God's careful concern for our development.  There may seem to us to be some other way God could bring this development, but trust me, he knows the exact things which brings growth in us.  This is really the purpose of these places - nothing else will do what he can accomplish there. Just sayin!