Making an impact?

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

Sarcasm is a deliberate attempt to poke fun at another or the actions of others. At times, it can be very subtle, said in jest, and without evil intent at all. An individual who is very good at sarcasm might just be holding audience on a stage somewhere right now as a 'stand-up comedian'. Among friends, an occasional sarcastic word might just be good humor - something you can laugh about together and nothing malicious was intended by the words. In the hands of a 'sarcastic individual', such as the comedian who earns a living pointing out faults, those same words may be cutting, rude, and demeaning. Words that cut into the emotional well-being of another are never healthy ones. They will hurt and not help. They won't strike a chord of 'happy feelings', but will leave the individual hurt, almost like they are 'bleeding' emotionally.

There is wisdom in knowing when a bit of humor will bring levity to a tough moment. The words we choose to speak are supposed to lift others up, never tear them down. The more we use hurtful words, thinking we are 'making light' of some faux paus in another's day or character, the more damage we could be inflicting on their already wounded soul. How can our words bring healing today? Perhaps you will find a way to encourage someone who has been facing some tough times, but make sure those words are genuine because the person who is hurting so deeply can easily sense false platitudes! The best form of encouragement is words backed up with actions that match the words. Don't just tell someone you will pray for them - stop then, do it right there, and listen to what they tell you about what they have been experiencing. 

Did you know that sarcasm is the least effective method of communication? That is why we should probably use it in moderation - only when light-hearted conversation is warranted. Most of the time, it is cutting, and the remarks will not do much to improve the situation. Am I suggesting we cannot have a little levity in the moment? Not at all, but we must learn to judge well the impact of our words. Think them through before you speak them and if they won't help, don't let them out of the gate! The more we guard our words, the more we will find our words are impactful when they are spoken. Just sayin!

More caught than taught

We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. (Romans 15:2)

Have you ever considered your actions in light of what others see, hear, or feel as a result of those actions? It can be kind of scary at times to see actions through the eyes of others, mostly because it can lead to us being a little too 'comparison oriented' and it can result in some issues with pride on occasion. If we just compare our actions, excluding the heart from the picture, we might think our actions are a little better than another's. We run the risk of elevating our beliefs or actions above theirs - thinking THEY have room for improvement, but we are doing just fine. This is a very dangerous precipice from which to view life!

When we set out to live in such a way so as to be a 'help' to others - an example of God's goodness and grace - our heart is in the right place. Yet, it is quite easy to get a little too focused on our own goodness and forget that God's goodness is what matters. How do we go about 'helping others' without pridefulness entering into the mix? It might just be that we need to remove a few of our 'religious masks' in order for others to see we aren't 'perfect' or 'righteous' all of the time. Sometimes we fall flat on our faces just like they do, but we have learned how to take those failures to Christ, seek the lesson he will reveal to us as we do, and then start out again. 

Building each other up isn't about 'telling them how to live' as much as it is showing them how it is we have come to live in this relationship with Jesus. I think Jesus is most honored when we are genuine in our faith - living out the lessons he teaches without judgment of others who haven't come to the place where that lesson is made alive in their own lives yet. It is a very fine line between being an example and being judgmental of the actions of others. When we learn to look at our actions first - our heart attitude, thought life, and responses to events - we are well on our way to being positive examples to others without this spirit of judgment that enters in whenever pride begins to rear its ugly head.

The adage, "More is caught than taught", rings true here. John Maxwell puts it, "You can teach what you know, but you reproduce what you are." If your words don't match your actions, they won't hear you. Others repeat what we do more than what we say. God's hope is that we will lead lives that model a life without compromise. When we are focused on how much 'compromise' we see in others, we might just miss the volume of compromising decisions we are making ourselves. Just sayin!

Barricades

I’m feeling terrible—I couldn’t feel worse! Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember? When I told my story, you responded; train me well in your deep wisdom. Help me understand these things inside and out so I can ponder your miracle-wonders. My sad life’s dilapidated, a falling-down barn; build me up again by your Word. Barricade the road that goes Nowhere; grace me with your clear revelation. I choose the true road to Somewhere, I post your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me; God, don’t let me down! I’ll run the course you lay out for me if you’ll just show me how. (Psalm 119:30)

As we begin today, I really just want to focus on one portion of this passage - the idea of barricades being set up in our path. I have frequently been speaking with others only hear they are frustrated by all the things that seem to stand in their way as they try to head down a particular path. I often just sit back and listen, hearing regretful story one right after another - all indicating they are running into barriers of some kind as they attempt to pursue whatever it is they are on mission to accomplish. There are indeed times when barriers mean we are to just stop, turn around (detour), and take a totally different direction. I want us to consider something today that we may not have considered very closely - God might just be allowing a few barriers in our path to test our commitment to the path.

If we are not making wise choices with the path we are traveling, those barriers are likely to keep us from 'going down the road to Nowhere' - the place of regret and woe. If the choices we are making are actually lead us down the 'road to Somewhere' and are consistent with God's plan for our lives, those barriers we experience are not meant to stop us. They might just be meant to test our moxie - will we continue or turn back? Will they deter us totally, or build our faith to continue? Some of us are at the point of giving up on the course we know God plans for our lives, all because of the barricades. We see the delays as too much. Have you ever experienced a delay on the way to work, frustrating you because you had to take a different road or just be patient long enough for traffic to clear? I have experienced that on lots of occasions, only to find out the exact path I would have gone at exactly the time I would have crossed it ended up with a major accident on that roadway.

Do we complain when we see the 'barricades' in our path keeping us safe from some harm? Not usually. So, why do we complain when we don't understand the barricade's purpose? Why do we have such a hard time trusting God to keep us safe as we make our journey with him? It may just be that we are viewing those barricades as something to 'turn us back'. If we are on the right course, they aren't there to turn us back, but to prepare us for something that is likely about to come our way on that very course we are traveling. The delay or detour isn't meant to stop us - it is meant to prepare us. Don't view the barricades as defeat - see them as opportunities to lean in, get close to God, listening intently to how he is leading. You could begin to realize God isn't standing in your way - he is protecting your way! Just sayin!

Hey, Coach...over here!

Gonna meddle a bit this morning, but who doesn't meddle once in a while? How many times do we see someone struggling and then turn the other way, ignoring the struggle because it would get 'too messy' if we got in the middle of their muddle? How about the times we see someone about to jump off some cliff in life that you know will just leave them all messed up and we just shake our heads as we watch them take the leap? If we are to be honest here, we have all likely been in the position of seeing someone about to 'fall into sin' and then found it has become fodder for 'gossip' and 'poking fun' at that individual. Why do we point out the sin of others instead of stepping in to help them be restored? It could be us there one day, my friends. How would you like someone to respond if the tables were turned? Just a little food for thought here, but I think we all might like to have someone come to our aid rather than poke fun at our failure or find fault with our sin.

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. (Galatians 6:1 MSG)

God doesn't say, "If you feel like it today, why don't you step in and share the burdens of another." In fact, there is an imperative in this passage - we are give a few 'if - then' statements to consider AND act upon. IF someone falls - THEN forgivingly restore him. IF someone is oppressed and weighed down under the burden of life - THEN stoop down and help them out of the rut. IF their burden is great - THEN help them carry it. IF you think you are too good to do so - THEN you are badly deceived. Notice that I reminded us of the need to not only "consider" the condition of another, but to "ACT" to help them in their need. This is the way of God every time - condition exists and the need is met. Nothing in God's way of doing things ever relies upon us 'feeling like it'. In fact, most of his most fruitful actions in our lives are oftentimes in direct opposition to our feelings.

God calls us into relationship with each other because we desperately need each other's encouragement and even a little coaching from time to time. Encouragement would be defined as inspiring another by giving them approval. Coaching goes just a bit further because it encompasses instruction. God's requirement for us is to know when encouragement is enough, but then to go the extra mile when coaching is required. Sometimes I don't know how to handle a situation, or how to get myself out of the muddle I have made for myself. I need more than your encouragement - inspiring words, approval that I can get out of it - I need some downright help to know the way out! IF I need coaching - THEN be there to instruct me as you also are there to encourage me with each step I take.

Do you know what some who fall repeatedly need more than anything else? They need a coach! They need someone who will come alongside and do more than encourage them to 'live better'. They need to be shown how to live - how to take the first step that helps them be ready for the second one and then the third. Coaches actually help us 'train' - not just 'try'. Repeated failures are not fodder for gossip - they are fertile fields where a mighty harvest of new and developing faith is possible. That may be what God had in mind when he calls us to share the burdens of another - encourage them - but then go the extra mile to help them take the steps out of the muddle. Now, lest anyone think a coach is someone's conscience, let me set us all straight here - a coach knows how to instruct because they have already walked the path! The coach is able to instruct - not be someone's conscience - but assist another to find the right steps to take in order to move from where they are to where they need to be. Just sayin!