You bring that out in me

Carl Jung told us 'everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.' He was spot on with that one! In a sense, all of us have experienced the best and worst at times, attitudes, and what I shall call 'heart moments'. Moments when it just seems you will burst with excitement leave you feeling totally encouraged. Then almost without notice, another heart moment comes, bringing weight seemingly beyond your ability to carry it. I have no idea why life has to be so much like a "pendulum" swinging this way and then the other at times. With the highs and lows come opportunities - within relationship, ourselves, and our circumstances. We are given new insights into the tremendous blessings we have been afforded in life. We are also given insights into the "old habits" we "count on" to get us through - some of these "old habits" are more of a hindrance than a benefit. No wonder 'others' can help us see 'ourselves' in a clearer light at times! Our 'old habits' need a little revealing!

All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don't, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side. (I Corinthians 7:23-24 MSG)

By definition, a habit is an acquired behavior. We become so acquainted with doing something a particular way until it becomes almost involuntary to us - we do it unconsciously. Think of the first three things you did today. How many of those actions are simply out of habit? For me, it was making the bed, showering, and making the coffee while the computer booted. Totally habit. No one left me a list of instructions requiring these of me - I simply gravitated to them because it is my usual custom. In another sense, a habit is the "dominant" disposition we display in those heart moments. It is the most consistent response to the influences we have in life. When the pendulum swings one direction, we almost consistently respond one way. but seldom the other. We have developed a "dominant" tendency which displays the true character of our heart. The heart betrays the "real you", does it not? Focusing on the heart is a good thing when it comes to understanding what is "dominant" in our lives.

Old habits are hard to break. I used to chew my nails. They'd be little stubs, cuticles all chewed away. They are certainly not long, elegant nails today - I keep them trimmed because I am in healthcare and I do woodworking. They are no longer chewed to the quick. Why? I changed my habit as hard - as it was to do! What influenced the change? One semester in microbiology during my pre-requisites for nursing school! I took a culture scraping from what little nails I had left, then left it to incubate over the weekend in a petri dish with rich nutrients. Upon returning the next week to find a multitude of colored, fuzzy stuff growing in the dish, I was left with a pretty visible impression of what was 'under' those nails! Wouldn't it be nice if every "old habit" way of responding to life could be as easily seen as those fuzzy growths in the petri dish? Having the visible evidence of how these habits affect our lives would be so telling, right? If we could somehow put every old habit in a petri dish, let it incubate in a controlled environment for a while, then come back to examine it, we might be surprised at what we see "growing"!

A controlled environment allows for the evidence of what has been there all along to become apparent - but can an uncontrolled environment do the same? As the pendulum of life swings, and we are surrounded by those who might just reveal a little bit of 'old habit' themselves, things surface in our lives. Responses we thought we'd done away with in the past, or images of old patterns of sin come creeping to the surface. In the moment, we probably don't have any "control" over the environment, but if we were wise, we would reach out to the one who can help us analyze what isn't always 'evident' in our lives until those moments come. We are given the gift of the Holy Spirit present in our lives. He is the one who "captures" the heart moment responses. He is also the one who brings us into the "controlled environment" where we can see exactly what relying on these old habits will produce within us and in our relationship with others. He trusts us to allow him to help us change these old habits so they will no longer produce these "ill-effects" within us and within our relationships. 

I wonder if we realize just how much God loves us? He cares so much about the "old habits" because they have such "ill-effects" in our lives. It is his greatest joy to help us "isolate" what causes us the greatest harm. In letting him examine the "heart culture" of your life, there is a little risk, but the benefit of the revelation outweighs the risk every time. Just sayin!

Measure twice...cut once...

I am learning to build stuff from wood, but trust me on this one, the design may be good, but the execution of the measurements may not always be. Hence the little saying in woodworking: "Measure twice, cut once." I have made some stuff that looked great, but when we went to use it as it was designed, it was too narrow, too wide, too long, or too wobbly. All the work that went into it was grand. I took great care to sand, stain, and finish the piece, only to find it didn't 'measure up'. I wonder how many times we think we are building "good stuff" into our lives, only to look back and see how little we actually "built" that was all that 'good'. We always seem to think the endeavors of our lives are totally worthwhile - but in retrospect, how many of them really produced what we originally believed possible? The most amazing thing happens though when we set out on an endeavor with God - usually MORE than we believed possible happens!

If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks. If God doesn't guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap. It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves? (Psalm 127:1-2 MSG)

I have certainly done my share of "shack building". I am not a skilled builder, by any means, as you can plainly see by my own confessions as to the failures I have produced. I can drive a nail, even cut some wood, but I don't understand the "principles" of architecture or strength of various wood that actually help a building to be secure! In terms of erecting a "building", I'd defer to those who have actually studied how it is to be done! The same principle holds true in terms of our Christian walk. We are all able to take baby steps on occasion, but are we able to lay a solid foundation of principled values, honorable choices, or rock-solid emotions? I am thinking the answer to this question may be "not so much". We lack the "principles" of building these into our lives - we can measure, cut, and put together, but if something isn't quite right, the end result is kind of 'wonky'. This is why we need to get into the Word. We need to "study" how it is done in order to understand how we are involved in the building!

God actually is the builder - he looks to us to "relinquish" the control of our life-long "building projects" to him. He is like the general contractor on a building site. He oversees each and every task undertaken which will ensure a great finish to the project. If he has a "rogue" builder out there on the site, just building away, oblivious to the plans for the building, who knows what will be produced! I have seen some pretty weird "building projects" in my life. I have observed some very "amateur" attempts at adding a new room, or remodeling an existing room. I have installed a few ceiling fans, crawling through the attic and "tapping into" wiring in order to accomplish the task. I guess since the house never burnt down, I did an "okay" job! But...I am not an electrician. I don't proclaim to be "comfortable" with the schematics of how the "load" of each wire in the house was planned. This is where I need the assist of the general contractor, the electrician, and even the carpenter.

In terms of my family life, or my Christian development, I definitely need someone who knows the "schematics" of how this all works! I don't have it all down yet - so I need the "general contractor" to have control. God desires nothing more than to be given this control. How about you? Has there been some "rogue" building being done in your life? If so, it is not too late. A little "de-constructing" may be necessary, but in the end, the finished product will be a whole lot more secure! I have thought the projects I have created that didn't turn out so well wouldn't serve anyone well, but it amazes me how God can direct me to do one small thing and then the project takes on a different appearance, fits together much better, or gets the job done despite the imperfections. Some of us focus way too much on the imperfections in the 'life-long building project' God has undertaken with our lives, but trust me on this one - he isn't done, nothing is hopeless, and there is still lots more he will do to complete the work he has begun. So, God - build on! 

Build Strong Relationships

I am going to ask some hard questions this morning, so please bear with me. What kind of friend are you? What motivates you within friendship? How is it that you seek to have your needs met in that relationship? How is it that you seek to meet the needs of the other individual? Do  you build strong relationships, or are you content with nothing more than the superficial or 'artificial' kind of friendships? These are tough questions, but if we begin to answer them honestly, we may find they reveal something about either the 'success' or 'failure' of our relationships with each other!

Forgive someone, and you will strengthen your friendship. Keep reminding them, and you will destroy it. (Proverbs 17:9)

As a kid, I truly desired close friendships - the kind where you could tell your BFF anything and they wouldn't blab it to the world, or judge you because of something you thought or did. I truthfully didn't have any of these 'close' relationships until I was well into adulthood, though. It wasn't for lack of trying, but because I really didn't understand what it was I needed to 'give' in relationship and what it was that I 'needed' out of relationship. So, I went through my childhood with those 'superficial' types of relationships - good friends to hang out with, riding bikes, playing with our Barbie dolls, and watching clouds pass overhead on a hot summer afternoon while reclined under the shade of the mulberry tree.

Coming into adulthood found me seeking something deeper, though. I was no longer content to just have 'play dates' with people! I wanted deeper relationships - the type that would challenge me to grow and give me a chance to be myself without the masks! Let me assure you of one thing - these types of relationships are harder than you think, take longer to find than you might imagine, and are worth their weight in the most precious of metals or gemstones! Now, maintaining these relationships is something we seldom think about - but without 'maintenance', they will soon drift into the types we call 'superficial'!

If we desire to grow into strong relationships with each other, it takes consistent work - yep, you heard me - work! It isn't all fun and games, good times, and easy conversation. Sometimes it is harder conversations - the kind that challenges us to think differently, to see things from another viewpoint, or to just listen without saying anything in return. The time we spend together is truthfully treated as a 'valuable commodity' - every moment is spent building the relationship. Yes, we enjoy our times together, but somehow each time we are together there is something that transpires within that relationship that draws us closer. It may be laughter when we need to just have a good belly laugh, or tears when we just need to share our fear or hurt. Either way, growth is occurring.

I don't know where you are today, but I hope you are not in a bunch of superficial relationships. You need the closeness of that one who will challenge you. You don't know what you are missing out on in your life until you have found that strong and lasting relationship of one you can truly be yourself with in this world! You are growing, not singularly, but jointly. You are good for each other - not just for one, but for both. Just sayin!

It is hampering my growth

One thing is said, another is meant. One thing is done, but the intention behind it is completely contrary to the "appearance". At times, we are presented with individuals who seem to have an "ulterior motive" in their actions. In other words, what is presented is really a "mask" for something being done to deceive the individual on the receiving end of the action. This is very dangerous ground for us - simply because we really don't know what to expect, or when to trust. When expectations are not clear, or trust is not fully established, we can get ourselves into all kinds of pickles!

Mixed motives twist life into tangles; pure motives take you straight down the road. (Proverbs 21:8)

We would probably call an "ulterior" motive a "second motive" - one which is usually a little selfish or self-centered in nature. These motives result in a life that ends in a tangled mess! Not my idea of where I want to be living, but I have known my share of tangles! In fact, when I am faced with these kind of individuals, I tend to pull back from relationship with them - simply because I cannot trust their intentions and they have a tendency to "complicate" my life way more than I want! Don't get me wrong - I don't always have the purest motives myself! I just try my best not to purposely work in the realm of "secret" or "hidden" agendas! God is perfectly aware of our "hidden" motives - those we'd call "selfish" or "self-centered" in nature. Times such as when we ask God to bless us with a new car and what we are really saying is, "God, I don't like the one you have already blessed me with!" The desire is genuine, but the motive is a little self-centered.

People who purposefully set out to deceive by their actions not only leave their own lives in a mess, they leave the lives of those they touch in a mess of tangles. They are never free from the tangled mess themselves because any life of deception requires a whole lot of effort to keep up the facade of untruths used to mask the reality of what lies just beneath the surface! I think these are the individuals God was "aiming at" in the verse above - those who hide their guilt behind a facade live in tangles and leave others in tangles. Pure motives keep us on a straight path. God understands our "bent" toward selfish motives, but he expects as we become aware of these motives, we will hurriedly lay them at the foot of the altar and have them changed by the touch of his grace. If we are finding our life caught up in a jumble of tangles as a result of the deceptiveness of our actions and thoughts, we might need some altar time to untangle the mess we've created!

In examining the word "tangle", I found it not only relates to the mess of inter-twisted parts, but also it carries the idea of being caught or held in a trap or snare. Mixed motives actually serve to entrap us; snaring us in their grip. There is a 'hampering effect' which occurs anytime the motives we choose to obey are those which are not pure in nature. They hamper our growth, relationships, and even our access to God. Perhaps this is why God places such emphasis on purity of heart! His goal is to never have anything keep us from straight-forward, immediate, and unhindered access to him! Mixed motives deceive - pure motives open the doors of trust. Mixed motives ensnare - pure motives allow freedom in relationship. Mixed motives will overgrow if never placed in check! We need to be constantly examining our motives - not in light of our own perceptions - but in the light of the Cross. The Cross exposes what is just beneath the surface - revealing exactly what it is we are "covering over". Never forget that it is at the altar we are altered. Never "under-value" the time you spend at the altar of God's grace! In the end, what emerges is pure and good. Just sayin!

Detour me

It seems like every road I take to work these days is riddled with construction! We cannot turn left at some intersections, whittle down to one lane in others, and are detoured in directions we have to rely upon GPS guidance to maneuver! The inconvenience is made all the more unbearable by the rudeness of those who think they can avoid the longer waits by moving to the head of the line and cutting in around all of us who have waited our turn to make it through! It brings me back to elementary school all over again when you'd frequently hear the cries of "No Cutting" called whenever someone tried that in the cafeteria line! The benefits of the construction projects are hard to imagine when you are enduring the agony of the months of torn up roadways, but when they finally reopen that intersection with wider and safer turn lanes, you suddenly understand it from a different perspective. It makes sense on the other side of that construction, even though it seemed unbearable whilst it was underway.

"These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock. 

But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards." (Matthew 7:24-27)

The same is true in our lives - we are almost continually "under construction". That construction process involves quite a bit of noise on our part - usually complaining, whining, and statements about not understanding what is going on! We deal with a lot of mess - because our lives are more than a little messy at times. We certainly view the constructive processes of our lives as less than convenient, as they rarely "fit" our schedule! They give us 'detours' we may not have wanted and we get a little wigged out when the delays are significant. Jesus tells his disciples are life lessons that need to be "worked into the core" of their lives. In other words, they are the foundation of all they are to be, will do in this lifetime, and what they will experience. As is the case with our torn up roadways, the "cement" or foundation of our lives is poured, smoothed out, and takes form by the skilled work of his hands. It is not a quick project - it takes time to get it right!

The better the foundation, the stronger the structure. The process of preparing us for the foundation to be laid is as important as pouring that which will bring the sure and certain foundation into our lives. The ground of our hearts and minds must be prepared to receive what God is doing. The recesses of what brings "unevenness" into our lives must be explored so that the things that would "trip us up" are removed. The potential for 'sink-holes' in our lives must also be explored - because what is just underneath what appears to be a hard or firm surface may not be as reliable as we'd like to imagine. Then, and only then, is the ground prepared for the receiving of the "cement" of his Word. That "poured out" Word has to be smoothed out into all the corners of our lives - taking on the form Jesus desires to see within us. Just as with the cement, the Word is carefully eased into the corners, worked and reworked, in order to get out all the tiny "bubbles" that would form weak areas if they remained. God is careful in his design because it is paramount to the success of the next phases of our usefulness! He takes time to "form us" so that we don't just take the Word in, and then it dries up and is worthless in purpose or design.

There is a design to the work being done in each of these roadway construction areas this morning on my way into work. There is an even greater design in what God is doing in our hearts! He is about the process of "molding" us into what it is that will bring him honor, bring others access to him, and give us usefulness in his hands. These Words are what give us strength, allow us to pass from one stage of growth to another, and give passage to the waters of the storms that come. We cannot escape the "construction" work of the Word - if we do, we are certain to have cracked foundations, weak spots, impassable areas of our hearts, and little shelter from the storms of life. It is by his hand that we were formed - it is out of his heartfelt love that we receive his Word. What we allow to be formed within us is what will become foundational to all we do and become in life. Just sayin!

Encourage one another

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 

(1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT)

What does it mean to be encouraged? I have experienced the type of encouragement to say or do something that later I would regret, such as when someone "encouraged" me to eat dirt clods because it would show that I was "cool" and "fearless". I was encouraged to stay away from any drugs when I was coming through school, both by role models and those who loved me very much. We can be "encouraged" in many ways, but not all types of encouragement is really intended for our good, so we need to become wise in discerning when it is truly encouragement and when it is just unwise taunting or prodding.

Persuasion is rarely the type of encouragement God intends for each of us to engage in as brothers and sisters in Christ. Persuasion has a bit of manipulation behind it - either because we want something to go our way, or we want the other person to do something they really aren't all that keen on doing. The type of encouragement that benefits us is that which builds hope, bolsters our spirit, and gently inspires an element of courage to do what we know to be right, pure, and true. This is the type of encouragement we are to be working overtime to provide to each other in the Body of Christ. As believers, we are to bind together in this walk and to help each other not be overcome by things that will become our undoing in the end.

Encouragement stimulates one to grow. I overturn the soil in the garden around the roots of the plants, not because I want them to wilt and die, but because I want to aerate the soil, providing fresh pathways for nutrients to get to those roots. Encouragement that is centered in love and based on truth will stimulate us to take in what we need, give out what reveals we are alive, and reproduce what it is we have been given in immeasurable quantities. This is how we grow in Christ - by being "spurred on" to finish the race. There are times when encouragement takes on the actions that move us into the right course of actions, while there are others that help us to rest for a while and just get at that place of peace once again in our lives.

As we grow together in this "faith walk", we need to right kinds of encouragement in our lives. It isn't the manipulative type, nor the type that does it with a big stick or cattle prod kind of action. It is the type that energizes us from within, helping us to tap into the limitless resources of grace we have been given. It helps us move beyond issues of comparing one's self to another by helping us to be grateful for the value we have in Christ. It doesn't label us as "good" or "not good enough", but instead calls us out as the beloved of the Most High God, set apart for his special favor and unending love. This is the type of encouragement which fosters growth and stimulates us to continue in the good course set out before us. Just sayin!