Reading the moment

Have you ever said the wrong thing at the wrong time? Maybe you actually said the right thing, but at the wrong time. Either way, the 'thing' you said was not taken well, or it was completely ignored. Why? The 'wisdom' it takes to say only what needs to be said, in the right timing is an 'art'. It might not come easily to some, but it can be learned at the feet of Jesus. We just need to spend enough time with him to see how what he notices, when he chooses to speak, and the words he chooses when he speaks.

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! (Proverbs 15:23)

While I am not an expert on this subject by any means, I have learned there are just times when someone will not hear what you are saying no matter how many different ways you attempt to say it. The heart just isn't in 'receiver' mode. They aren't open to hearing, so even if the timing might be right and the word you bring is pretty spot on, if the heart is blocking the message all the brain hears is 'Wah, Wa, Wa, Wah, Wa, Wa'. 

It takes two to communicate. This might be the hardest lesson for us to learn because we sometimes think just speaking is enough. If the one being spoken to isn't willing to hear, or the heart isn't ready to receive, the communication is one-way. I am sure we have all been there - someone is trying to tell us how we should do something, but we are not focused, our intent is not to learn the stuff, or our mind is made up that the things being said just don't apply to this circumstance.

A fitting reply is both the right word coupled with the right timing. Learning to read the moment is important, but it may not come as naturally as we'd like. We might be ready to speak but the one who needs to hear us is far from prepared. The moment matters as much as the openness of heart. When we get the moment wrong, the heart is rarely prepared to respond to what is being said. We would all do well to seek God's help in both 'reading the moment' and preparing the words we will bring forth when the heart is ready to hear. Just sayin!

Talk to me

If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. (James 1:5)

I used to pray a whole lot of 'open-ended' prayers. I would just ask God to move - not really all that specific in my requests. I found it didn't lead to a very deep relationship between us. Think about it - if you had a close friend and never talked about anything but the weather or the stock market trends, would your relationship grow any deeper? Not likely. You might be 'up to speed' on current issues, but never really learn what the other needs. There is something about being transparent with each other that helps us develop that depth. 

This kind of depth requires an ability to put things out there - to really open up before him. I know that makes some of you squirm a little because you don't like to do that with anyone! It took me a while to realize I could be 'bold' with God. That doesn't mean I tell God what to do, but I do express my frustrations, fears, and hopes. I put my plans out there and sometimes I hear a loud 'amen' deep within my spirit; at others I feel a deeper sense of caution. Is that sense of caution really God showing me my 'plans' are not specifically his 'plans' for me right now? It usually is!

There were things I didn't think God needed to talk with me about, but I was totally wrong with that one. God loves to just hear how things are going for us, what we feel is going well, and what we know we need some help with because we have been struggling to get anywhere in that area. It isn't just the 'issues' he wants to hear about - it is also what we realize is going well. That is a form of praise in our prayers. When he hears us acknowledge the goodness of life, it warms his heart. When he hears us share the challenges or rough areas of life, it moves his heart to act.

Prayers are nothing more than 'solid communication' between two individuals who are deeply in love with each other - God and You. If this is the case, we will be bold. We will lay things out there, believing he has our best in mind when he responds. We won't always like what we hear, but if we want consistency in our walk with him, we need this kind of bold openness. The heart sometimes is burdened by things we shouldn't even be pursuing - hearing we have been pursuing the wrong stuff may sting a little, but when acknowledged and laid down, what freedom that brings! Just sayin!

This is not unspoken

“Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?" (Matthew 7:7-8)

I know it is sometimes pretty hard to admit our true need, but try as we might to 'skirt the truth', the first step to seeing that need met could just be our admittance of that need. There are times we go all around the issue when we talk with our Lord, trying to get it out without really having to say what it is we are looking for in our meeting with him. We seem to want our need met, but we aren't being direct about what that specific need really is. This is one reason I cringe when someone says they have an unspoken prayer request. God can and does meet the 'unspoken' requests, but if the majority of our 'requests' are 'unspoken', we might need to ask ourselves why that is the case. Bargain with God and you may find the 'bargain' costs you more than you really ever intended to give. 

Do you know what it means to be 'direct' with God? It means we are open and sincere in our request. Open - not ambiguous, totally sincere, and thoroughly forthright. I might be a little blunt on occasion in how I say things, but truth doesn't need a whole lot of 'fanciness' to make it truth. It is plain, forthright, and to the point. Why should our requests be any less? If we notice what God says here, we aren't to always be asking for what we 'want', but rather for what we 'need'. It took me a long time to sort out my needs from my wants. I want a whole lot of things, but my needs are really quite simple, direct, and to the point! 

Bargaining suggests some form of 'haggling' with God. When I first went to Mexico, my friends told me not to pay the first price at the street marketplaces. I needed to 'haggle' with the vendor to get the best price I could. In a sense, I thought it was a little unfair to 'undercut' their price with a 'low-ball' price, but on occasion I knew they had given me a very high price as the initial price and I needed to ask for a more reasonable one. This doesn't work with God. We don't step into his presence with our need, hear what he asks of us, then offer something 'less' in hopes he will accept that offered 'price'. We hear what he asks, then we learn to trust him with our lives as we obediently step out in faith to do as he asks.

Prayer is just a fancy word for talking and listening. We talk a bit - openly, honestly, with forthright transparency. We listen a bit more than we talk - open to the leading we receive; not scheming to find another path than the one he directs. It takes a bit to learn how to enter into his presence this way, but once we figure out he has our best in mind, lovingly directing our lives even when we might not fully understand what he asks, we come away fulfilled. Just sayin!

Never a wasted word

I have found people have a harder and harder time communicating with each other these days unless it is done in some sort of emoji, tweet, or text message. We just don't interact face-to-face all that much anymore. The smartphones have given us access to our 'friends' 24-hours a day - pinging away with each newly composed message, cute video feed, or stunning social media post we receive. God isn't a 'social media' kind of guy, though. He really hasn't changed from his original plan of face-to-face interaction! It is called prayer and very few of us really 'get' how prayer works any longer because we have forgotten how it works to really share - to speak, listen, restate a conversation, mull things over together, and get down to the heart of the matter - all while being connected and vulnerable face-to-face.

God keeps his distance from the wicked; he closely attends to the prayers of God-loyal people.
(Proverbs 15:29)

There are times when we feel that our prayers are seemingly unanswered - just spoken words into a void that somehow absorbs them and doesn't do anything with them - like sending a text and not knowing if the other person ever saw it because there was no acknowledgement. Then there are other times when it seems that the words are no sooner spoken and they are answered - life's catastrophes avoided, circumstances changed, hearts mended - intervention comes quick and sure. Regardless of the "timing" of the answer, the promise we want to hold onto is that God closely attends to the prayers of his kids - those words spoken and shared with an open, vulnerable heart.

His attention to the "details" of our life is not accidental - it is purposeful and totally intentional, because he doesn't have to get 'caught up' on his 'timeline' or 'social feed'. I cannot fathom with my human mind how God keeps all the details of my life, the lives of my friends and family, not to mention the other several gazillion  people who live on this earth in his sight and constant attention. I don't have to understand the "abilities" of God to know whole-heartedly that I can count on them, though!

The promise is that God "closely attends" to the words of his people. Not the tweeted ones we post so often, but the ones we speak and those that have to be 'nursed' from our souls as we sit quietly together.  There are times I would rather God not hear the words of doubt intermingled in my prayers, the words of fear spoken in moments of terror and my undoing. Yet, in his intense love for us, he hears each and every one of the doubts and fears - taking them to his heart and wrapping them in his care. He does this because he is our "close" friend, our "caring" father, and our "compassionate" Savior.

Prayers are nothing more than the expressions of our heart. When we learn to share our heart with God in an open and realistic manner, he is there to "closely attend to" the various needs of our lives. Sometimes we don't think God wants to hear about our doubts - but how will he help us overcome them if we cannot express them freely? There are times we think it is not very "spiritual" to have fears, to be angry, to feel frustration - it may very well be that those "emotions" are what God needs to see and hear expressed in order to open us up to what it is he desires to do within.

Prayers can be desperate or easy, frantic or calm, rapid-fire or bubbling forth in a free-flow of expression. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to pray - the simple matter is that God wants to hear what is on your mind and in your heart. As he does, he attends to us like no other could possibly do. He intentionally intervenes wherever, whenever, and however we intentionally share our need. Open up to God in the honest expression of your heart and mind - learn how closely God attends to that open communication with him! Words spoke to God are never wasted words. Just sayin!

Don't break the communication pathway

When trouble surrounded me, I cried out to the Eternal; He answered me and brought me to a wide, open space. The Eternal is with me, so I will not be afraid of anything. If God is on my side, how can anyone hurt me? (Psalm 118:5-6 VOICE)

Too many times we think "IF trouble ever surrounds me, then I will cry out...", but in reality, it is "WHEN trouble does surround me, I better be crying out!"  A lot of times we think we won't have those troubles someone else has, but we certainly will have troubles all our own. They may not be identical to what someone else is going through, but they will come - opposition will soon wage an attack and we had better stand ready! Soldiers will tell you the hardest time to withstand an attack is when you are just finished with the one that just came and is finally over. You are exhausted, with all too real memories still in the forefront of your brain of all the awful stuff you've just come through. Trust me on this one - the enemy of our souls knows the best time to get us down is when we are already exhausted by one battle!

When we are under attack, we cry out. When we anticipate attack, what is our tact then? It should also be to cry out! David described his enemies "surrounding him" - they were gathering their troops and getting "in position" for the attack. They were trying to structure their attack so there would be no way of escape and when we will be too tired or frustrated or weighted down with burdens to actually mount a defense. The time to cry out is not just when under attack, but when we know we are subject to attack because we might not be able to recognize all the ways the enemy is preparing for the attack!

What the enemy counts on as the attack is being mounted is that there will be no place of escape for us. Crying out for God's help isn't a sign of weakness - it is a sign of dependence upon the strategies of the one who sees it all and knows the specific route of escape! I think one of the most common reasons we don't do so well in the attack is that we don't seek a way of escape until we are so far into the battle that we are just about to succumb to the attack. The one successful in navigating the attack is the one who has rallied the troops - readied their defenses - and no greater defense exists than to lean into Jesus.

A word of practical advice here - your most powerful weapon is your reliance upon Jesus. The moment we cry out - he hears. In warfare, troops are connected to each other through various communication channels such as two-way radios of old and more immediate connections over satellite transmissions today. We do more "strategically" in our warfare via communication. The pathway to communication is the one point the enemy will most want to target because he knows if that goes down or is interrupted, then we often stand alone. Guard well the pathway to communication during the times of battle - your greatest opportunity for guidance and reinforced strength is via those pathways! Just sayin!

Beware of that device in your hand

I fear we go through our days and weeks without much communication anymore - real, genuine, heartfelt communication between two individuals struggling to make it through the day-to-day stuff they each face.  In fact, we pull out our phones at the dinner table to check for instant messages, read the latest posts on social media sites, and evaluate the latest stuff trending on YouTube.  We've lost the art of sharing - of just being real with each other - discussing the regular stuff of life and just listening to each other.  I don't expect my best friend to correct me each time we talk together, but there have been times when she just puts in a word here or there which actually help to get me out of my funk, turn my attitude around from one of "self-whatever" to one of really thinking things through from the other person's perspective, or just helping me to decide if I want to buy the new counter tops or not.  Sometimes her words encourage me; at other times they kind of change my course of thinking.  All of her words are important to me because we have come to value the sharing of these things with each other.  I think we need these frequent times of just sharing with each other - even if it is done while strolling along the sidewalk in an after lunch walk, or just sitting back on the couch with feet up and coffee in hand.  We need to put down our phones, tablets, and other electronic devices often enough to actually look at the other person across from us - in so doing, we might  just be challenged, encouraged, reminded of something forgotten, or just plain dazzled by the brilliance of the other person we are with!

A truly good friend will openly correct you. You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies. If you have had enough to eat, honey doesn’t taste good, but if you are really hungry, you will eat anything. (Proverbs 27:5-7 CEV)

The sad truth today is that we have so few of these type of deep relationships with others - resorting to the shallowness of social networking instead.  Let me just tell you this - no social media "connection" I have can embrace me when I need a hug, nor can they really "feed me" what I need in order to grow up in Christ as I should.  People who are really, really hungry will eat almost anything - won't they?  That means we will be open to whatever comes our way.  I was strolling through my media feed this morning and came across some rather vulgar and just not so edifying posts.  I had to hide them almost immediately, saying I did not want to see this type of stuff from this type of media feed any longer.  Those things don't build anyone up, so why have them crossing our line of thought?  It spoke to me once again of how people will "feed" on anything when they lack the closeness of true social connection which occurs when you are building relationships of accountability and depth with another individual.

Some rules of thumb when it comes to building relationships which will build you up rather than tear your down:

- Up close and personal is best.  We can gain a lot of knowledge just watching people. I am a people watcher.  As I recently am back from vacation, I enjoyed a week or so of people watching at the airports, in the lines waiting for rides at the theme parks, and even just hanging out at a restaurant table waiting for my meal.  I am always sensitive to how much parents are resorting to media devices these days to actually "entertain" their kids instead of their kids finding their entertainment with each other and with their parents.  I think a few minutes on the video games is okay - it won't warp their brains as long as it is a pretty "clean" game for them to play.  If it takes the place of all social contact - that is where the line is being crossed.  When kids resort to this instead of running, jumping, and engaging in creative moments of make-believe play, it is robbing them of their ability to become truly connected with other individuals later on in life.  We need contact - we need to struggle through issues together - not behind a screen.  Some of us adults would do well to refrain from a little of the "media time" and just be "entertained" in conversation with someone sitting across from us or right beside us!

- We need others to challenge our way of thinking, acting, and responding.  We only grow when we are challenged.  I have trees I have grown from seeds in my backyard.  They have grown stronger because of the challenges they face - especially the prevailing winds and the long, hot seasons.  The challenges they face actually cause them to put down deeper roots and to develop flexible limbs which will "give" with the winds.  We grow where we are challenged.  We are challenged best when we are living in "plain view" of others who help us to be accountable for our actions.  Close, personal contact with another will often challenge our way of thinking - making us consider why we chose a certain course of thought, while rejecting another.  Sometimes we will still think the same way, because we find our choice of thought has been correct, but that little challenge we were given helped to clarify and solidify our choice of thought.  We need to be challenged - we need the interaction in order to realize the challenge.  Whether that interaction is with God himself, or with a close friend by our side, we can only grow from those interactions we take time to create and engage in.

- We may not realize we have pulled away until we realize how hungry we are for true intimate contact with another human being.  The danger isn't realized when we first begin to pull away from relationships and pull-into some form of social isolation, but it is a really dangerous place to dwell too long.  We need to consider our actions in light of how they make another feel or how they will interpret our actions.  I am ever so aware of this when mom mentions that I am playing my games too much on my tablet - or she makes some comment about wishing she had the ability to entertain herself playing a game of solitaire or the like on one of these devices.  I know what she is saying is that I need to put it down, spend a little time just chatting with her, letting her in on what my day held, and just listening to the stuff she faced that day while I was away at work.  It isn't "deep" conversation, but it is adding "depth" to our relationship.  I think this is the most important part we often  miss - the conversations don't have to be deep - they just have to be consistent, considerate, and compassionate.  In short order, we find a depth created which will be our "go-to" when we really need those moments of "deep conversation" to help us make tough decisions or change the course of action we are about to take which may be all wrong for us in the end.  Just sayin!

Connected and fueled up

It is so easy to burn out on things these days - probably because we have sensory overload from all the things coming at us in the course of the day.  I was privileged to spend a week away with my best friend again this week and we went to Orlando (the first time for both of us). Of course, when in Rome, you do as the Romans do, so off we went to explore the Disney attractions.  Can I just say that if you want sensory overload, spend about two hours in one of these parks and just watch what happens to you in terms of how uneasy you begin to feel.  With the constant stream of people pushing and pressing against you, music of all manner blaring from one set of speakers as you transition to the next, and smells pulling at each of your nostrils, you will soon realize sensory overload. If we continued doing this long enough, we'd either get so overloaded we'd just burn out, or we'd become so dulled by the sensory input we'd miss out on stuff all around us. The same is true in our spiritual walk - too much of one thing or another is not good, nor is too many things all tugging at your spirit at the same time.  We need balance.

Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. (Romans 12:11-13 MSG)

Fueled and aflame, we are to live life in balance. Without balance we simply get too much fuel, with too little flame; or the other way around, we have a too hot of a flame which burns up the limited fuel we have stored away.  How do we obtain sufficient fuel for the journey?  I wouldn't want to get on the plane home to find they decided to cut the fueling short on our journey home.  I'd want to know they had sufficient, and maybe just a teensy bit more! In our spiritual walk, we want sufficient, but we want reserves for the unexpected challenges we may face along the way, as well. Fueled spirits come in times of connecting with God in prayerful thought (notice I didn't just say prayer - because so many think prayer is a kind of hard thing) and determined study of his Word.

Prayerful thought is kind of like just sharing with God the regular stuff of our day. I find myself asking God if he just saw what I was seeing, or if he heard what someone just said - then asking him quickly to intervene. It isn't really "deep" prayer, but it is significant because we are carrying on the dialogue with him and he is often imparting just a little bit of wisdom to us in those moments. One of the things which help us to maintain balance is this idea of living with expectancy. I don't think this is always that evident in our lives, though - expectancy being shut down or held at bay because of all the sensory overload we allow into our lives. Expectancy is based on focus - what we expect with such urgent anticipation is what we focus upon with heartfelt determination.

As I indicated - fuel without a flame is kind of useless. There are times we get ourselves so "fueled up" with all manner of good preaching, teaching, times of study, etc. Then it is like we sit on the runway of life and just idle in position. What we take in is meant to be shared. Maybe this is why Paul tells us to find creative or inventive ways to show our hospitality. What is hospitality? In the most literal sense, it is us being friendly and giving a warm reception to another. In the sense of our "neighbors" in Christ, we are called to welcome both the stranger and the familiar with equal warmth, respect, and compassion. This is what comes when we are aflame with the love of Christ in our lives and this love comes from committed times of walking close enough to Jesus to actually allow his Spirit to connect with us.

God has been so generous with us, it is good for us to be as generous with others as he has been with us. If we are to maintain balance, we have to "burn" a little bit of the fuel at a consistent pace, replenishing when it is being drained a little, and then to kindle the fire by giving it away.  You may not think of "kindling the fire" as giving it away, but in the times Paul wrote these words, those traveling from town to town often would obtain a small pot of embers from someone who already had a fire burning. They would use those embers to ignite their own fuel and in time, both fires were burning brightly.  It might just be time for us to burn a little fuel and share a little ember or two with those who need our hospitality.  Just sayin!

I've got something to say...

Listen while I build my case, God, the most honest prayer you'll ever hear...  (Psalm 17:1 MSG)

Prayer is a powerful thing, but often an overlooked blessing in our lives. We might think we are paying attention to God and trusting him to be the Lord of every area of our lives, but I have to ask you how often you actually find yourselves laying out your case before God on a frequent basis?  I think we don't build our case as often as we might really need to.  In fact, many of us have little to no time spent in prayer until we find ourselves at the end of our rope and like we don't know what to do.  This is a sad truth, but true nonetheless.

Prayer isn't designed to be a "thing" we do, but a life we live.  In other words, it is an ongoing conversation with God as freely as we speak with the closest of our friends or companions in this life on this earth.  I think this is why we sometimes struggle with prayer so much - because we have made it a "thing" rather than a relationship. Our psalmist really shows us what it is like to just be able to lay it all out to God, without reservation, and even when we don't know what to say.  He says, "Listen while I build my case..."  He is telling God he needs to unload a little - being willing to start with sharing the way he "thinks" things are going for him and then in a matter of time, he likely finds God begins to show him how he is in what is going on around him.

Sometimes we think we have to have our "case" totally figured out before we begin to share ourselves with God, but if there is one thing I have learned, it is the truth that God just wants us to open the dialogue - even if isn't totally thought out, ordered, or really all that spiritual.  Our psalmist knows the power of just opening up - leaving the outcome of the conversation to God.  Prayer is connection with God and whenever there is a connection established, the potential of allowing life to pass in the midst of the exchange actually occurs.  Taking the first step to open the passage is all it takes for God to begin to establish the passage of his life in place of whatever is weighing us down or giving us trouble at the moment.

So, without taking a lot of time to explain prayer, let me just leave us with a few important points:  1) It is not what we pray that really matters, it is that we take the time to open the dialogue - either by speaking ourselves, or listening intently to hear whatever God would share with us; 2) We don't need to have things figured out before we bring it to God - he is able to sort it out for us; and 3) No one is better equipped for the next steps to take than the one who goes to God with the plans he has, for God can sort out any steps which may take us down a wrong path.

Nothing really brings us into his presence better than just opening the way for communication to occur.  Nothing sorts out the details better than to lay out our case to the best of our ability, it all honesty before him - then just listen to the ways he sorts through all we lay out and helps us see things as he sees them.  Just sayin!

Say What?

Have you ever given anyone an "opening" to just all out tell you anything they wanted?  I have - a word of warning here - it is not always what you might want to hear!!!  Sometimes you learn things about yourself - other times you learn things about the other person - and sometimes you learn things about other people not even involved in the conversation!  Imagine being in the most "open" and "sharing" of relationships with someone.  I like to call this a relationship with transparency and intimacy - the freedom to share your heart.  You want to share things which you might not want to share with other people, right?  I think God gives an open door to each of us to enter into this type of relationship with him.  We can come boldly into his presence, sit right down and "unload" even the deepest and darkest of secrets - all with the confidence of knowing he will take what we say only as far as OUR relationship!  It stays there because he knows the value of this type of sharing - it is the closest of sharing and means there is "strength" and "stability" in the relationship.  So, now I want you to imagine God speaking to the hungering heart - one just looking for someone with whom they may have this type of close and stable relationship - the place of sharing just between two.  Here is where we start our study today.

So tell me what you think. Look at the evidence.  Put your heads together. Make your case.  Who told you, and a long time ago, what’s going on here?  Who made sense of things for you?  Wasn’t I the one? God?  It had to be me. I’m the only God there is—The only God who does things right and knows how to help.  So turn to me and be helped—saved!—everyone, whoever and wherever you are.  I am God, the only God there is, the one and only.  I promise in my own name: Every word out of my mouth does what it says.  I never take back what I say.  Everyone is going to end up kneeling before me. Everyone is going to end up saying of me, ‘Yes! Salvation and strength are in God!’”  (Isaiah 45:32-23 MSG)

God opens the door for conversation.  This is important for us to realize - for sometimes we believe WE have to be the ones to open the door!  The truth is God has already done the deed of opening up to us, just so we can enjoy the privilege of opening up to him!  He then asks us to tell him what we think.  Remember, I already told you this may not be the thing you WANT to hear, but it is the thing which may actually NEED to be said!  God knows what we will say before we say it - he is all-knowing (omniscient).  Yet, there is something about being open in our communication which he encourages - and even allows!  Even when it is complaint, frustration, anger, fear, or even regret.  Then he asks us to examine the evidence.  What I think God does in our times of open communication with him is to actually help us "examine the evidence" which is revealed in our words.  He loves hearing our voice - even the "voices in our heads".  Yet, in the speaking of the words, WE are actually the ones who begin to see a revelation of truth we might not have seen before.

For example, have you ever began to complain about something, then without really realizing it, you begin to see the selfishness in your complaint, or maybe the emotional response you had which was actually an "over-reaction" to the moment?  I have!  The more I speak, the clearer it becomes that the words I am speaking kind of get "sorted out" in the process of speaking them.  In other words - the evidence becomes a little clearer.  If you have ever watched one of those crime scene shows, what do the detectives always do?  They talk things out together!  Why?  In the "talking it out" the evidence becomes a little clearer and truthfully, two heads are ALWAYS better than one.

When we go back to our passage, God asks the next challenging question.  He wants us to know we don't "figure things out" on own - he is the one who makes sense of the matter!  We might begin to see the evidence, putting piece one together with piece two, but it he that makes all the pieces come together in perfect order.  God is the only one who knows how the fit - so why is it we avoid bringing the pieces to him?  We often struggle with being open with him because of our shame over what the "pieces" represent.  The truth is, the shame is really "self-imposed" - God is not associating our broken pieces with shame, but with grace.  Shame is OUR feeling - nothing we "feel" about our brokenness causes God to feel "shame" - the feeling produced by guilt.  

God asks us to plainly allow him to assist us to see the evidence - not to bring us shame, but to set us free from guilt and, in turn, to set us free from the "feelings" associated with our guilt.  When we begin to examine the evidence of our actions - communicating openly and honestly about them, we often find the greatest challenge comes in letting go of the "emotion" associated with the past actions.  Truth be told - we all struggle with this!  Truth be told - God is the one to hear our conversation, turn to us in grace, and help us be freed of the associated shame.  God's encouraging words - turn to me and be helped!  Don't gloss that one over, friends.  God's words to you and I are to turn to him - to come face-to-face with him - opening the way for the embrace.  It is WHERE we position ourselves which makes it possible for him to help.  Open arms don't do us any good if we remain shut off to their embrace - shame has no way of being removed until grace embraces the "evidence" of wrongdoing in our lives!

Guess what else our passage tells us?  God actually listens - then he talks to us!  It is two-way communication, friends.  At first, God has to listen a lot, because it takes us time to realize our "talking" is kind of like a cathartic action.  When we finally get it all out - he is there to pick up the pieces, sorting them out carefully, and then revealing what it is he hopes we will get out of the time we have spent together.  He may speak back just a simple, "Thank you!"  Why?  Simply because he has waited for us to be THAT honest with him for a long time.  He may speak back a word of encouragement, "I understand".  Why?  Truthfully it is because his Son walked this earth and DOES understand the pain we experience.  He may speak back some "action words", telling us clearly what steps we take next.  Why?  Honestly, this is the hardest part of the conversation!  Here, he asks for us to take what we have learned and put it into action in our lives.  It is not because he judges us, but because he knows just how much those actions will bring us closer to the evidence of Christ within us! 

Next time you need to get it off your chest, you might just want to start with the one who will help you sort out the evidence, come to the realization of truth, and then actually assist you put the truth into action!  Just sayin!

Loose Lips Sink Ships

²⁰ Don't bad-mouth your leaders, not even under your breath, 
   And don't abuse your betters, even in the privacy of your home. 
   Loose talk has a way of getting picked up and spread around. 
   Little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide.

(Ecclesiastes 10:20 The Message)

During World War II posters hung in theaters, grocers, and around town where everyone could see them, announcing the message that "Loose lips sink ships".  The idea was that you might never know who your true enemy is - even a slight "dropping" of a little information here or there could mean tragedy in the battle being fought.  The exact meaning was that "unguarded" talk could cost lives!  

Mom taught me that "if you cannot say something good about someone, don't say anything at all."  Ummm...truth is, if I had heeded that message, I'd have said a WHOLE lot less in life!  The fact is, it is easy to get caught up in the "talk" of the office, the church socials, or simply in a group of friends.  The "words" just seem to "fly" sometimes, don't they?  Have you ever been at the end of one of those "sessions" where those words just flew from your mouth and looked back?  In the moment, you did not realize the impact of your words - in the end, you sometimes are filled with regret.

It may be that you realize that the words were spoken to someone you are not sure will keep them in confidence - allowing something you said to "drift back" to the one you said them about.  Or perhaps you said something that was well-intentioned, but that message will be misconstrued when it is repeated to the next person.  Regardless, the outcome is pretty much the same - loose lips sink ships!  We need to be aware of our words - "UNGUARDED" words are dangerous.

Gossip is not a new thing - it is has been a problem from the beginning of time.  There are times when we just need to have a confidant to speak to - someone who will listen, give wise counsel, and allow the concerns you have to "get worked out" in the privacy of that exchange.  This is different from what I think our writer had in mind when he said that "little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide."  

Gossip is mostly idle talk or rumor.  Within the gossip is speculation and insinuation - we "think" that someone is acting a certain way because of a certain reason; we "imagine" that the actions of a person are not right; we interject little "barbs" that will stimulate the conversation to go a certain way. It is a dangerous thing because it is based on supposition, not fact.

Loose talk has a way of getting "picked up" and "spread around".  If you don't believe that then think about the last time you shared something of some real importance - a revelation of truth that really could change a circumstance for the better.  How fast did that get around?  Probably not all that fast!  But...share one indiscretion about yourself or another and watch it mushroom!

So, the next time you think you can "let it all hang out" in that crowd of "friends" - think about what you are saying before you say it!  A wise teacher once told me, "Think all you say, but don't say all you think!"  Perhaps my teacher had learned that lesson over the years of his life, as well.  I know I am more guarded in my "loose words" today than I was even a month ago.  I may think a lot, but I am not saying everything I think!  Just some "words" to ponder!

Sermon Lessons: Communication

^21-22"You're familiar with the command to the ancients, 'Do not murder.' I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill."

(Matthew 5:21-22)

^3-5A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!

(James 3:3-5)

Words matter - what we think should not always be spoken!  There is no greater struggle than to learn to control one's speech.  It is so very easy to just blurt out words that are thoughtlessly spoken - it is quite another thing to "mop up" the aftermath of those very words!  Jesus is focusing on the fact that words "kill" - they have a destructiveness that rises to the level of committing murder!  If he feels this strongly about our speech, isn't it worth evaluating our choice of words?

James gives us just a glimpse of the reality of how powerful our words are - just like a tiny rudder on a ship, they have the power to direct the course of events.  I have heard it said that words don't matter - actions do.  I think in some cases, this is quite true - such as when I am evaluating if someone's commitment is genuine or that there has been a true life transformation.  Actions often speak louder than words in these cases - the individual may still call themselves an alcoholic, but their commitment to stay away from alcohol for the past ten years speaks volumes about their recovery.

There are some basic communication "tips" that we should heed if we want a strong community of relationships:

1.  Don't be afraid to think before you speak!  When we "run" our words through our mind first, we may not always speak everything we are thinking.  Some people may see this as a weakness because you are not as quick to speak as others, but the words that come forth will often be more readily embraced because they have been "processed" before they are spoken.  We are actually practicing the skill of "filtering" our words when we do this - allowing the Word of God we have tucked away to help us bring light to what needs to be said and to hold back on that which really is not necessary to speak at that moment.

2.  Learn to hear the "tone" of your words.  There is often more "spoken" in the tone of our voice than in the actual words spoken.  For example, if your friend asks you to join them at a benefit car wash this weekend, you might respond "Okay, I'll be there," but your tone of voice lacks excitement and is actually conveying, "I will be there, but I'd rather be lounging in the pool!"  You get my drift - words matter, but the tone conveys the heart.  When we realize the tone of voice matters, we can deliver even the hardest message in a loving and compassionate manner - making the message just a little easier to be heard.

3.  Words that are not solicited are meddlesome.  We may think we have something "worth hearing" in the situation, but if the words of advice are not solicited, they are not going to be heard anyway!  It is important to "weigh" the moment, consider the attitude of heart each person is conveying at that moment, and then choose your words according to the moment.  That moment may not be the best - the attitude of heart of the hearer may not be open to receiving the message.  The message is important - but the hearer's open mind and heart as equally as important.

Not rocket science here - just practical advice on communication.  Word do matter - they often control the outcome of community and relationship development more than we know.  Our silence conveys meaning as much as our words!  Our words, aptly spoken, direct the course of our lives and those we associate with!

Blabber and Chatter really matter

¹⁹ The more talk, the less truth;
   the wise measure their words.
 ²⁰ The speech of a good person is worth waiting for;
   the blabber of the wicked is worthless.
 ²¹ The talk of a good person is rich fare for many,
   but chatterboxes die of an empty heart.

(Proverbs 10:19-21)

The Book of Proverbs is filled with all kinds of wisdom about our communication - what gets said and what should remain unsaid.  There is more set in motion by one word than most of us realize.  The three verses above give us some insight into the choices we make with our words.  

1. The more talk, the less truth - in other words, the more we have to say, the greater chances are that we will embellish what is truth within the statement with things that may not be entirely true.  When we "add words" that really don't "belong" in the discussion, we are simply trying to "enhance" the truth.  There is simplicity in the truth - it needs no enhancements.  
2. The wise measure their words - not because they are scared to speak what they know to be true, but because not everything we think needs to be spoken!  We may know a truth, but there is a season (a time) for each truth to be brought forth.  The "timing" of what we say is as important as the "content" of what we speak.  Learning to "measure our words" will enable several things.  First, others will see the value in what is shared because it is not "fluffed up" with other ideas that don't really lend to the conversation.  Second, others will have a chance to hear what is being said because it is direct, appropriate, and in the correct timing.
3. The speech of a good person is worth waiting for - it is valuable because there is something of value in each word that comes from a "good heart". A good person is sometimes a "label" given to someone who does "good things" or is a "good friend".  In scripture, being a good person is more of a state of character that is reflective of the teachings and principles of Christ.  There is a manifestation of obedience to the Word of God, the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the responsiveness to your own conscience.  
4. The blabber of the wicked is worthless - this is indiscreet communication. Just being indiscreet in the timing is bad enough, but also being indiscreet in the content of what is shared makes the communication doubly worthless!  There isn't a whole lot of thought that goes into this type of communication - it is free-flowing, without constraints, and often quite damaging, as a result.
5. The talk of a good person is rich fare for many - in another translation, this says, "The lips of the righteous nourish many..."  Words aptly spoken, timed well, and not riddled with nonsense have a way of "nourishing" the one who hears them.  They foster growth.  They are spoken in such a way that they strengthen, build up and supply what is needed in the situation. 
6. Chatterboxes die of an empty heart - most likely because they also die with very few friends left!  Nothing is more disappointing and dissatisfying than to be surrounded by gossips.  Gossips destroys more relationships in a few simple words than guns kill people!  Words are destructive when they are spoken to the wrong person, at the wrong time, or in a manner that is ill-intentioned.

The truth is simple, but it is often the most difficult to speak.  We struggle with the truth so much because we don't know how it will be received.  If there is one thing I have learned it is this - truth is meant to be shared.  It is what sets us free.  There is a time, a place, and an appointed means by which truth can and should be shared.  When we are faithful to consideration of the timing, appropriate selection of the place, and the leading to share what we know to be true, there is an anointing on those words that help them to be expressed and heard in a way like no other words can have impact.

Learning to be wise in our selection of what gets spoken is our first challenge. Being faithful to speak what we know to be true is next.  Not mixing truth with things that "fluff up" is a challenge to be mastered by all.  Communication is a difficult thing - maybe our most challenging growth opportunity in life!  It takes a lifetime to learn to do it well!  

Mine Fields and Waves Galore

¹⁸ If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. 

(Proverbs 29:18  The Message Bible)

This same passage can be translated: "Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction."  (NIV)  The idea is that we are often people that seem to require being "in the know" as it applies to what is coming next in our lives.  As we well know, this seldom happens.  We plan and prepare, but often the best of plans becomes nonsensical when dealing with the things that present themselves at our doorstep demanding our attention and energies.  This passage considers the idea of "revelation".  For us to understand the passage, we must understand that word.

First, revelation carries the idea of disclosing something that had otherwise or previously been hidden.  It is common in church circles to say that we don't know what God is doing, but that we will just trust him with the outcome.  That is certainly commendable, but we fail to admit just how much we are struggling with "not knowing" what God is doing!  We find ourselves stumbling around in the dark and hoping that we are going to come into a place of light sometime soon.  This is not the way God wants to have us proceeding through life.  He wants to give us opportunities for disclosure - times when he brings us into the knowledge of what he is about to do.

Second, revelation brings the idea of communication.  For communication to be effective, it must be two-way.  Much of our communication with God is simply one-way....we pray and expect him to listen, answer, and reveal.  There are times when God may be asking us to do the listening, answering, and revealing - in hopes that true communication will occur.  There is something powerful in "good" communication - it cements relationship, building strong foundations.

Last, but not least, it carries the idea of inspiration.  When we are brought to a place where vision is created, there is an internal igniting of passion to pursue what we are seeing clearly.  A good leader will first create the vision around what he is desiring to accomplish, then will assist those around him to lay hold of that vision, its possibilities, and its challenges.  Together, they tackle the challenges - through the innovation of the whole, there is an ability to overcome what challenges the one.

Without revelation (disclosure, communication, and inspiration), we cast off restraint.  In other words, there is nothing to restrain us from taking one course of action over another.  We are aimless.  Aimless people accomplish absolutely random things.  There is no order to what is created.  Good may come out of this type of effort, but it is certainly not as good as if we understood what we were doing, its purpose, and how it fits into a bigger plan.

Attending to what God discloses is the key within this passage.  There is a song I have come to love.  Some of the lyrics of this song present the idea that we are going through life "dancing through the mine-fields" and "sailing through the storms".  Now, most of you will admit that you rarely see mine-fields as places to dance!  In fact, you'd avoid them at all costs.  Putting to sail in the midst of a storm is also another treacherous venture that none undertake too willingly.  The thing is, we can dance through the mine-fields and sail through the storms if there is "disclosure" about how to navigate them! 

Mine-fields are nothing to God!  Neither is the storm!  Where there is revelation, there is the ability to navigate safely.  Not just picking through them a little step here or there, but dancing through them!  Not just taking one wave at a time, but riding high upon the peaks of white-water and propelled forward by the winds of adversity!  Revelation is the key to dancing and sailing!  Have you stopped long enough today to seek some revelation (disclosure, communication, and inspiration) from the one who knows where the mines are or when the next wave will come?