I need my friends

As we come to Jesus, we might expect the immediate healing of all our anxieties, hang-ups, and long-held issues. We know there are things in our lives Jesus forgives but then he "deals" with them for a while until we realize they are finally gone. The sinful stuff in our lives that gets our focused attention through God's eyes will get dealt with in pretty short order compared to the stuff we just let 'hang on' even when he is telling us to let it go.

 
Jesus and his followers came to Bethsaida. Some people brought a blind man to him and begged him to touch the man. So Jesus held the blind man’s hand and led him out of the village. Then he spit on the man’s eyes. He laid his hands on him and asked, “Can you see now?” The man looked up and said, “Yes, I see people. They look like trees walking around.” Again Jesus laid his hands on the man’s eyes, and the man opened them wide. His eyes were healed, and he was able to see everything clearly. (Mark 8:22-25)

We come to Jesus just as we are - complete with all our hang-ups and messiness - with no need to clean up before we say yes to him. We sometimes are with Jesus in our lives for a while with more than a few of these hang-ups and messy areas in our lives - not because he doesn't have the capability to immediately deal with them and remove them, but because there is something which happens in the continual washing over time. In those moments of seeking him time and again, we find there is a connection made much like the connection made when he led this blind man out of the village.

At first, we may not even realize how to get free from those things which have been "with us" for so long in our lives. This is where we need the faithfulness of friends who will walk with us to the place we come face-to-face with Jesus. This man might have known he was in the presence of Jesus, but he didn't yet see Jesus fully for who he was. The friends were the ones interceding for this man - it wasn't the man begging for his healing - it was the friends. We need each other - plain and simple. We may not recognize how much until we find our friends interceding for the mess our lives have become. Just sayin!

Is it really 'choice ground'?

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

Do you remember the story of Abraham and Lot - both with growing flocks, herds, and wealth? The time came when they needed to separate their flocks and herds because of what ranchers might have called 'overcrowding' of the animals. They were 'over-grazing' the lands, so they needed to find 'independent' grazing grounds. As you may recall from the story, Lot chose what looked best for himself, his family, herds, and flocks. He moved lock, stock, and barrel into a land way to close to the sinful people of Sodom, a mistake that would cost him dearly.

The company of fools soon rubs off on those who spend enough time with them. Before long, Lot was so accustomed to the 'culture' of the day that he didn't even confront sin any longer. His choice of grazing ground may have been a little self-centered as it was 'choice ground', but that 'choice ground' did not take into consideration the companions he would be surrounding his life with over the long run. Whenever we choose what we might think as 'best' or 'better' just based on the surface impression, we might find ourselves getting a little too chummy with sin's influence! 

He could have remained closer to Abraham, still providing enough space for their combined herds and flocks, but he chose to separate from those who could provide him moral support and a growing faith. The company of fools somehow doesn't do much to support our spiritual health, much less encourage its growth! In the long run, his children took spouses from among one of the most sinful people of the world at that time - ensuring the loss of their lives when judgment came down on Sodom. His own wife would suffer the fate of being turned into a pillar of salt. Probably one of the least taught 'sins' of Lot was the engagement of his unwed daughters in incest with their own father. 

Truly, the company of fools influences more than just our own lives - it affects those we might call 'family' and our close friends. Maybe this is why God calls us to guard our hearts and to choose our companions well. The closer we get to the influence of those who do not walk closely with God will ensure we are exposed to things, ways of thinking, and actions we may not have ever considered if we were to keep companions with those who walk closely with God. Just sayin!

Get your shovel

I am sometimes guilty of judging a book by its cover - like when I pass a quick judgment on someone or something because I see something on the "surface" which kind of gets my dander up, but really don't understand the reality of what they are going through just beneath the surface. We never really know what another will bring into our lives until we get beneath the surface - look beneath the "cover". Lest you think you are beyond concealing things beneath a "cover" in your lives, ask yourself this question: "When was the last time I was truthful about the toughest struggle in my life today?"  That question is telling because we often don't have anyone with whom we can share the struggle; or we don't really want to be honest about the struggle because it is kind of humbling to admit we struggle in that area of our lives. In reality, we have no struggles which are not "common" among all men and women - things like fear, anxiety, mistrust, pride, addictions, lust, and even right living. We ALL are "earthen vessels" - plain folk with down-to-earth problems and desires.

If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in us. While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best! (2 Corinthians 4:7-12)

It should not catch you by surprise that God uses "earthen vessels" to display his greatness. Plain folks with plain old real-life problems putting him on display before a hurting and hungry world. God doesn't go for the most glamorous, or the most charismatic - he uses us! As with all truth, we have to believe it to make it worthwhile in our lives. I can "know about" gravity, but until I fall a few times, I don't really believe it exerts a forceful pull in my life! You come to appreciate the truth once you realize it has validity - having "validated" it by exposing yourself to its reality. What makes the difference in the realization of our true problem is not our "confession" of the issue, but the "unwrapping" it. If we are to finally get beneath the "cover" in our lives and the lives of those we have relationship with, we have to be willing to "unwrap" ourselves. We are ALL "earthen vessels", holding onto some things we would do well to get out in the open, and containing light which needs to be shared with those around us.

Look only at the "earthen vessel" and you can make pretty inaccurate judgments, huh? Pour out the contents and you will often see a different side of a person. Most of us are concerned others won't "like" us if they see the "real" us, so we only allow "surface" looks. It isn't until we begin to be "poured out" that we can actually see what it is that God has been doing "inside" us all that time. He contains himself in "ordinary lives" - using "ordinary lives" to touch "ordinary lives". Here we find the "connection" we so desperately need - one "ordinary" life pouring out into the "ordinary life" of another. There may be "severed" parts of our lives which really need the skill of one more knowledgeable about the issue, and the time to allow the healing to occur. This is the value of connecting with another, allowing them beneath the surface, and into the "severed" parts of your life. It is an opportunity to allow another to share the path to healing. 

God knows exactly what we need in order to break free of our struggles - and it is often best accomplished when we aren't trying to walk alone! Each supporting the other - each not afraid to encounter the other when one of us is being a sissy with something God wants us to be bold about! Some of us need someone telling us we are being a little bit of a sissy when it comes to our issues. We need a "goading" once in a while. God places "ordinary lives" together to do just that! What Jesus did AMONG us, he does IN us - he lives! We cannot settle for just having life "among" us, we need it "IN" us. We don't get life IN until we are willing to go beneath the surface stuff. A book has to be cracked to be read. A light needs to be switched on before it illuminates what is hidden. A buried treasure cannot be found until someone starts to do a little digging. Just sayin!

Principle 2: Hanging With Hotheads

Yesterday we began our study into the thirty principles Solomon laid out which he indicated as an indicator of our trust in God - if we live by these principles, then our foundation will be one of trust.  They also act as principles which will help to hold us accountable for our actions and attitudes.  Today, we explore the second in these principles - the company we keep.  As you may recall, we explored our attitude toward those who have "need" or "weakness" in their lives yesterday.  This attitude determines a great deal as it comes to how we interact within the "boundaries" of Christian love or not.  Today, it is the company we keep - those who we associate with the most - which we will explore.  Why is this important?  Wrong relationships are as dangerous as wind is to fire.  Pick the wrong ones to engage with and you will find your world set on fire, but not a fire you can control!

Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads.

Bad temper is contagious—don’t get infected.  (Proverbs 22:24-25 MSG)

Angry people make life miserable for others, don't they?  Did you ever stop to consider just how miserable they must be?  Anger is an emotion with overwhelming potential to destroy both in word and deed.  Words spoken in haste, without forethought, aimed at hurting another will leave lasting scars many times.  Words just spoken in a rage of anger, not really aimed at anyone, but spoken nonetheless have just as much potential to leave scars because we never know who will latch onto them and take them as a "truth" they will hold onto about themselves, their work, or their abilities.  The emotion of anger is more than a simple "feeling" - it usually comes with some type of outburst, or vindictive twist.  As such, it is not always measurable, nor is it quickly identified before it has a chance to affect those in its path.

Bad temper is contagious.  If you have ever been around testy people, you might have recognized how easily you were caught up into the "testy" attitude.  At first, it was probably just because it made you a little uneasy to be around them, but in time, it is likely to be as a result of you agreeing more and more with the things which make them "testy" in the first place.  Bad attitudes have a tendency to rub off onto others - infecting them with their poison.  This is the reason Solomon warns us to avoid hanging out (keeping regular company) with those who have this issue with anger and the resulting outbursts.  

Anger turns us inward, but it directs its "flow" outward.  Anger is often a result of perceiving your rights have been violated - someone has not respected your space, they've invaded your "territory", so to speak.  It might be in the realm of not respecting your need for privacy, personal time, or even something as simple as eating the last brownie you were counting on for a midnight snack.  In turn, you begin to feel like people take you for granted - not appreciating you.  You have turned inward - it is all about you.  In time, you might even begin to express this feeling of being taken for granted in short jabs toward another, rehearsing the times they have done you wrong, and even taking shots with sarcasm.  Little by little, you begin to nurse your feelings of being wronged.  In time, these feelings (validated by your own rehearsal of events) take on a life of their own - expressed often in outbursts (turning outward).

God never instructs us to turn inward, does he?  In fact, if we explore scripture, we find repeated instructions to consider the other person first, to serve without ceasing, and to lay our lives down for another.  These are not actions of "inward" people.  These are actions of those who live by the strength of Christ who lives within them.  The company we keep matters - mothers everywhere for generations untold have been trying to convey this message to their children.  Don't hang out with the wrong crowd - they will corrupt good morals!  Remember mom or dad saying anything even remotely close to that?  They were preaching scripture!  You just didn't know it.  Anger has so much volatility associated with it, so it becomes a destructive emotion almost without warning.  Associating with those who are given to such volatility is dangerous ground to trod.  If you don't end up injured yourself, you will eventually become what you associate with!  Then you will be the one so inwardly focused that all your outward actions are harsh, brutally unkind, and just plain miserable to be around.

Emotions are real - we cannot deny them.  We do need to "hang with" those who will help us to reveal our emotions in reasonable, upright, and consistent ways.  Who we choose as our closest relationships - those we "frequent" most often will go a long way in helping us develop reasonableness in our emotions.  Hotheads beware!  Your end will be to drive those away who may have the greatest potential to change your life.  Just sayin! 

Spend a little time today....

God desires intimacy.  In fact, love demands this kind of relating.  It cannot grow without depth of commitment and the willingness to be truthfully "naked" before one another in a spiritual and emotional sense.  We don't need to remove our clothes to "get naked" with each other - we just need to remove our masks.  Intimacy implies a certain familiarity with each other.  It comes out of frequent exposure to each other - to the real you and the real me.  It is the revealing of who we are, how we act, and what we like/dislike. It involves how we move and what moves us.  In essence, until we reach this kind of depth in relationship with one another, we cannot truly be in a place of accountability with one another - and heaven knows, we need this type of accountability if we are to plant and harvest well!

Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.  Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.  So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.  Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.  (Galations 6:7-10 NLT)

Intimacy also involves communication.  This is probably one of the hardest parts of relationship - because we just plain stink at being good communicators.  For communication to reach a level where we are actually helped by what we share and what is shared with us, we need to be more than superficial in our sharing - we need a depth of revelation.  It is the revealing of who we are, what we require or need, and how we plan to move or what it is we have planned.  This type of communication can open doors for us to see our life through the eyes of another - and we all need to see life through eyes other than just our own!

To this we have to add awareness, contact and frequency.  We have to become aware of each other - not just on a casual level, but with the intent of knowing another at the deepest possible level.  Awareness is more than just having knowledge of - it is being cognizant of what that knowledge can do when it is handled well.  Contact involves close association with the other person - experiencing their "presence" even when words just aren't spoken. I am blessed to have a couple of relationships just like this - not really needing to talk all the time, but just being able to be in the same room, giggling at the same corny jokes on a TV sitcom, or just taking in the beauty of nature as it passes by on our journey to a destination.  It is in contact that we get to know both the spoken and unspoken needs of another.  

Frequency in relationship involves more than just being at a location at a specific time each day for a set amount of time.  Too many times we think of relationship as a matter of just spending "time" together.  I'd like to challenge that one a little today - when there is continual association - even if it is just in your thoughts of another, you are developing a closeness of relationship. Yes, the presence of another is important, but so is the awareness of the need to keep them frequently in your thoughts and dear to your heart.

Up to this point, you may have only suspected I was speaking about the relationships we have with each other.  I challenge you to reread this and substitute God for each of these relationship characteristics.  You and I need to be as intimate with him as we are with each other - to fail HIM on any of these points is to fail ourselves!  One of the things I have come to appreciate in my relationship with Jesus is the ability to have an "informal privacy" with him.  By this, I mean that ability to relate to him, not so much in the formality of him being GOD, but in the informality of him being my closest companion and my most frequent contact.  

Not sure where you are today in your personal relationships with each other, but you probably need to realize the importance of them.  We can all do a better job of that!  When I stop long enough to consider those which mean the most to me, I find myself smiling at the fondness of memories associated with those individuals.  I also find myself lifting them in thoughts and silent prayers for their safety, continued growth, and God's best for their lives. When I think about my relationship with Jesus, my thoughts gravitate toward the tremendous selflessness of his unending love and grace.  I can only hope to exemplify this type of love to those who I relate to in the natural sense.  

I don't know who you need to develop a better awareness of today, but if it is Jesus - go for it.  If it is your spouse - go for it.  If it is your cubicle mate - go for it.  Until you do, you are missing out on what God intends for your deepest and most meaningful growth!  Just sayin!