You 'over-thinking' or 'under-thinking' stuff?

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2)

When we get honest with God, ourselves, and others, we might just find ourselves expressing some feelings and thoughts that we have kept bottled up for a while. We start to share what we are experiencing - at the 'gut level'. True honesty with God begins with true honesty with ourselves. Until we are willing to be truthful about what we have been feeling or experiencing in life, we will just live truly superficial lives - emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.

Dishonesty with oneself actually creates a pretty negative outcome. We either create a 'false sense of good' by wearing a mask to hide our discouragement and 'issues', or we wallow in our despair and hide away from others. The issue often begins when we don't take the necessary time to 'process' life's challenges. They affect us - all of them - but we somehow figure we don't have the time, don't want to take the time, or just plain find it too difficult to 'process' them right now. That leads to hiding them in one form or another. It is time to get up close and personal with Jesus. Troubled minds only lead to trouble in our actions. 

We might be thinking one thing but masking it with some other set of 'outward emotions' just because we don't want others to know. The problem with that is that we can never hide those things from God. He already knows and he wants to help us move beyond those things that we are 'over-thinking' and even the ones we are 'under-thinking'. We have to begin to train our minds to be honest - it might not come naturally to us. Honesty with God leads to restored or renewed minds. Without it, we find ourselves always facing 'unbearable' stuff. Just sayin!

Let your will and emotions catch up

God warns us to guard our heart above all else, simply because it determines the entire course of our lives. As we think of the heart, we must remember it encompasses our mind, will and emotions. One must guard the mind, have a determined will that is unwilling to compromise even one iota, and to have an evenness of emotions that don't carry us away.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23)

Above all else. We get so distracted by what we think may not be 'all that bad', but in truth, whenever we look toward anything or anyone other than God himself, our hearts are already putting something else 'above' God. Needless to say, we have raised a whole generation of individuals whose mind is easily amused by whatever catches its attention. Perhaps the greatest challenge to individuals today is to have their mind focused with so many distractions working hard to distract one from their focus.

The will of a man is kind of fickle, isn't it? We can say we have 'willpower', but when push comes to shove, does it get us through? Not usually. The 'willpower' of a man with a mind that isn't focused is as fickle as can be. Whatever our mind entertains will eventually play upon the 'will' of a man. God reminds us to take control of our thought life, allowing him to help determine our steps - but we must be willing to take those steps!

Emotions are probably the most problematic of the three. They go up and down like a fast rollercoaster. They can plummet to new lows quicker than our thoughts can catch up. They can soar high for a while, as long as circumstances allow, but then when those circumstances change, watch out. This is why God tells us not to rely upon emotions to make decisions. I always cringe when I hear a believer say they don't 'feel' like they will ever change. If we relied upon our feelings in order to evaluate change within our lives, we would be all over the map!

The three - mind, will and emotions - operate simultaneously. We must remember that when the mind is fixed upon the right 'model' for our behavior, the will and emotions will eventually follow where the mind leads. The 'will' of a man may resist for a while, but when your mind is made up in a certain direction, with focused attention on God's best for your life, you cannot fail. Eventually your will and emotions will catch up. Just sayin!

What's in your heart?

No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. (I Corinthians 2:11-12)

A person's heart is a treasury of dreams and imagination, but it is also a harborer of doubts, fears, and failures, isn't it? We might hold onto certain dreams, hoping for their fulfillment, all the while investing a great deal of our heart's energy and attention into seeing those dreams through to fruition. We also hold onto certain failures, hurts, and habits that our heart seems to wrap much emotional energy around that could be spent pursuing better things. God knows what is contained within our hearts - the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. Isn't it a wise choice to ask him to sort out what is in our heart, revealing what should be kept and nurtured, while letting go of what only results in emotional upheaval and mistrust?

We have received God's Spirit, so we need to allow his Spirit to reveal to us where it is we are holding onto things that we need to clearly be rid of. God's heartbeat can be felt within our spirit, but the more we allow this world's spirit of fear, doubt, and destructive thoughts inhabit the precious space within our heart, we won't hear his heartbeat as well as we should. Our emotions are a mess because we allow things from this world to enter in, take root, and produce fruit that is bitter and of no use to us. The spirit of this world isn't going to bring all kinds of 'warm fuzzies' into our mind, emotions, or spirit. In fact, it will work overtime to do just the opposite!

We might not even know our own thoughts very well, since they are so up and down all the time. When we are ruled by our emotions, we find the ride is quite bumpy. We don't have stability, finding ourselves making wise choices at times, then listening to some fear or doubt planted by this world's spirit within our hearts, and losing all perspective of God's grace, goodness, and protection. We need to 'shut out' this world's spirit. How? We connect with God, maintain that connection, finding our source of life in nothing other than his presence. The thing we connect with the most makes all the difference in what our heart is filled with, my friends. Just sayin!

Emotions in battle mode?

I have had those moments when I just wanted to say or doing something, but if I did, I knew the backlash would be more than I wanted to receive. It is a battle of the mind and will over emotions at times, isn't it? We 'think better' than our emotions tend to lead us on occasion - perhaps making 'emotions' one of the hardest and most fickle things we have to deal with once we get our mind under the tutelage of the Holy Spirit. Doing wrong is easy - doing right is a bit harder at times. Behavior matters, no matter what anyone says - behavior stems from all three - mind, will and emotions.

Doing wrong leads to disgrace, and scandalous behavior brings contempt. (Proverbs 18:3)

Back in the day, teachers used to give out little 'awards' to students with great academic achievements, including those who consistently exhibited good 'classroom behavior'. As you might have guessed, I might have received a few notes home to mom saying I was a bit of the class clown. She may not have put it that way, but it was my mode of operation in elementary school, somewhat in middle school, then full-blown in high school! I really didn't consider my behavior wrong, it was just silly, sometimes a bit inappropriate, but it got people to laugh. I thought if they laughed at my weirdness, I wouldn't be so 'weird' to them.

My emotions were all over the place in those days. I didn't think anyone really liked me, maybe because I didn't like myself. I was using sarcasm, 'funny actions', and the like to cover over being very insecure. It wasn't until I invited Jesus into my life that I began to realize those 'emotions' I was telling myself were true and honest appraisals of how others saw me were actually quite wrong. All my 'class clown' actions were just driving them away - even though they laughed. Sometimes we 'do' things thinking they will have a different effect than they actually do. We count on them to accomplish something, but it kind of backfires on us.

It might be hard to hear this, but God is very concerned with our behavior. He wants it to reflect his grace and love, even when it is hard to let those 'actions' outweigh what our emotions are telling us to do at that moment. His hope is that we will let emotions lead us less and less, trusting his Holy Spirit to lead us into right actions even when the mind, will, and emotions are in 'battle mode' against each other. Just sayin!

Sticks and Stones

Our words have a tendency to just escape our mouths before we have a chance to really think about how we are responding, don't they? On occasion, we say things that should have been left unsaid, causing hurt feelings and sometimes crushed dreams. I know Covey says we are to seek to understand the other person first, then make ourselves understood AFTER we have listened well. That part about 'listening well' isn't actually in operation when we are blurting out our words without thought!

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:1, 4)

A tree of life - did you ever think of your words in that way? Our words reflect more than our present attitude - they reflect our 'indwelt attitude'. The more Christ fills our hearts, the more of his grace and truth we will express - even when our 'attitude' is tired, on edge, or bordering on needing an adjustment! A good tree cannot bear bad fruit for long - it will rid itself of the bad fruit, so the good fruit is free to grow without hindrance. Sometimes we have to just rid ourselves of the 'bad fruit' - but we don't need to spew it at others.

A gentle answer isn't always our first response, is it? Sometimes we come across just a little 'clipped' in our tone, or 'harsh' in our response. We may not have intended to, but there it is - out there for the hearer to digest - good, bad, and the ugly. How do we get a handle on our words? I think it begins at the start of each day when we turn over our words to his Holy Spirit, asking him to help us communicate well, without harshness, and only what needs to be said when it needs to be said. When we invite God into our minds at the beginning of the day, our heart is less likely to veer down emotional courses that lead to disastrous words.

As a kid, we all might have learned that little sing-song quote: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." In case you didn't know, words can sometimes damage us more than those sticks and stones! We need God's Spirit to help us 'temper' those words, so they deflect anger, giving life wherever possible. Just sayin!

Obedience first - feelings last

“Fools die because they refuse to follow wisdom. They are content to follow their foolish ways, and that will destroy them. But those who listen to me will live in safety and comfort. They will have nothing to fear.” (Proverbs 1:32-33)

The old song, "Fools rush in", admits that some can be so blinded by something or someone, all reasonable thought flies out the door. One of the lines in the song actually says, "Though I see the danger there, if there's a chance for me, then I don't care..." It goes without saying that we rush into danger more times than not simply because we failed to exercise wisdom in those moments. How can we get to the place where we 'don't rush in'? We learn to listen to God's voice!

God-given wisdom far exceeds human wisdom, but somehow, we think it is okay to just trudge right on into those moments we will come to regret later on. We refuse to listen to his wisdom and find ourselves treading on thin ice. Another line from that same song reminds us, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread..." If God's angels wouldn't even go there, why do we think it is okay to plunge right in? Our selfish and sinful minds can convince us of a great many follies being 'okay' at the moment, but if we were to admit it, we heard a 'warning' in our thoughts that we chose not to heed.

That 'warning' is God's Spirit trying to show us the right choice to make, but God doesn't 'hold us back' from following our own folly. We must exercise the restraint and count on God to give us that 'extra boost' we need in those areas of our lives where our own strength is rather weak. Emotions can carry us down some awkward paths, hard to navigate and even harder to escape. Relying upon our 'feelings' actually is like the 'fool that rushes in' mentality. We cannot count on our feelings to keep us safe - because we can justify every feeling, right or wrong!

Fools rush in - the wise listen for God's leading. One takes steps without thinking. The other counts on God to help sort out the good thoughts from the bad ones. One counts on what 'feels right', while the other trusts God's direction to be the best path, even when emotions don't quite 'match' what he is asking us to do. Know this: God's direction may contradict our feelings more times than not. To wait for our feelings to catch up to his direction is not the best plan. Sometimes we just need to put aside our feelings and do what we know he is directing us to do. Feelings follow obedient steps, my friends. Just sayin!

Ordered thoughts and steady emotions

 And because you belong to Christ Jesus, God’s peace will stand guard over all your thoughts and feelings. His peace can do this far better than our human minds.(Philippians 4:7)

Those who belong - do you 'belong'? Some perceive 'belonging' as having the 'proper credentials', such as when you 'belong' to the country club in your local town and can get the benefits of that 'membership'. Others might think of 'belonging' as 'being properly placed' - having a specific purpose in what you do somewhere for someone. The oldest meaning of this world indicated a certain 'dependence' upon one another or someone with a 'greater position' than you had. If we think of 'belonging' to Christ as 'having a relationship' with one who holds a 'superior position', we might just be a little closer to how this word is used in scripture. To 'belong' to Christ suggests a relationship of willing service to and with the Lord Almighty.

Because you 'belong' to Christ Jesus - based upon the relationship we now enjoy, we will also enjoy certain 'privileges' as a 'member' of his family. Those privileges include the peace that stands guard over our thoughts and emotions. Heaven knows we need a little 'guarding' of our thoughts from time to time, don't we? They get all carried away because our emotions (feelings) get the best of us. Perhaps that is why God wants his peace to stand guard over both - neither one being able to really hold up well under the pressures of life, no matter how much we think they might. 

Our human minds might attempt to convince us that we have 'everything under control', but our emotions tell us otherwise. There are times when our emotions get all carried away, while our minds are telling us we might want to pull back and think those actions through just a bit more. No wonder we need God's Spirit to indwell our spirit, standing guard, bringing wisdom, and creating peace in an otherwise fickle environment of conflicted mind and emotions! The good news is that God's peace can stand guard when our own reasoning betrays us - helping us to sort out our thoughts and bringing wisdom where unreasonable or unwise thoughts prevail. 

Reliance upon the grace and peace of God in our lives is never the wrong 'tactic' - it may just be the one 'tactic' that keeps us out of life's muddled places. It could mean steady emotions and ordered thought in ways we have yet to experience. Just saying!

He made both

You formed the way I think and feel. You put me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because you made me in such a wonderful way. I know how amazing that was! (Psalm 139:13-14)

If you ever want to discount your feelings, don't! God made those emotions, and he knows how you will respond with them when life gets tough, sends a surprise your way, or gets you excited for something new you are about to experience. He formed the way we think AND the way we feel. In other words, he knows how we will 'interpret' the things we are experiencing. To think God doesn't know the way our brains work is a really silly belief. To imagine God doesn't want us to acknowledge our emotional responses to life's moments is also very foolish. He made both and he isn't 'put off' by how we think or what we feel. He may want to help us think a little clearer and have less fluctuation in our emotions on occasion, but he isn't surprised by either!

The way we think can be influenced by many things, including our upbringing, mentors, media, and even our very own emotions. The way we respond (our emotions) isn't easily changed sometimes until we have a change in our way of thinking. If God formed the way we think, why does our thought life need some adjustment on occasion? It is because of the 'influences' other than God that we have allowed within our lives. Although we may not want to admit it, there are times when our thoughts are just not all that accurate, let alone all that honorable. Those are the times when we need Jesus' mind to help us get things back to the way God intends for them to be within our thought life. 

Since our thoughts influence our emotions and vice-versa, it is important to evaluate anytime we have a thought that seems a bit too 'harsh' or 'unreasonable' that evokes strong emotions that are also as harsh and unreasonable. The other night my phone alerted me to an 'Emergency Call' coming in from the Alexa at my daughter's home. Those voice activated devices are quite handy that way - allowing you to alert family if you are in need, or to call emergency services for immediate help. Since I was awakened from a sound sleep, I immediately texted back and awaited a response. None came. Do you know what my mind started doing? You got it - overdrive kicked in and emotions responded right along with the thoughts of doom and gloom!

Fortunately, the emergency alert was a glitch of some kind, and nothing was wrong. There was no emergency, all was well, and I should have been able to get right back to sleep after hearing my daughter's reassurances that all was well. Did that happen? Nope! My emotions were in high gear, my thoughts were all over the board, and it took a while for me to finally put those things to rest and allow my body to get back to rest. Mind and emotions are connected - allowing God access to one will certainly affect the other. Who better to bring clarity and peace than the one who made both? Just askin...

The Lord is for me (and you, too)

Let all who fear the Lord repeat: “His faithful love endures forever.” In my distress I prayed to the Lord,
and the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? (Psalm 118:4-6)

The more we interact with people around us, the more we realize it is almost impossible to please everyone. There will always be someone in the group who thinks differently, opposing every move we make. What do we do when we face opposition? If you are like me, you get a little distressed by the resistance at times. You might want to just pull in like a snail inside its shell, but that doesn't solve the issue, does it? I have learned to take my distress to the only one who can 'de-stress' it - God. I bring the issue to him, but I also bring the 'players' in the issue - including me! There are times when my attitude is the one needing adjustment, while it is the attitude of others that needs it at others. Who am I to judge which one of us needs the adjustment? I have found it is much better to leave that one in God's hands.

What can mere people do to us? If we have lived our lives trying to be people-pleasers, then we think those individuals who we have worked so hard to 'please' can do a great deal to us, but nothing could be further from the truth. People cannot destroy us - though they may try. People cannot get at the Spirit of God deep within us - try as they might, the presence of God is our refuge, and it is where we flee when under attack. Sometimes I need to remind myself over and over that God is for me - all the fear that is trying to rise up from within my emotions is never going to change the security I have in him. It won't change it for you, either! We may have to tell ourselves over and over that God is for us and we will not fear, but that is okay. God knows we sometimes battle against those emotions, and he stands at the ready to help us rise above their attack.

The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. Songs of joy and victory are sung in the camp of the godly. The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things! (Psalm 118:14-15)

The strength within isn't always evident - sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we walk in a power not our own, a victory that has already been won, and a placement that remains secure regardless of the enemy's attack. Just sayin!

I need a bit of peace here

 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

I imagine one of the hardest things we can 'learn' in life is the act of trusting when you aren't too sure what is going on around or within you. Some of our worries and anxieties are because there are numerous external forces at work that we see, but may not fully understand. At others, our worries are much more 'covert' - we 'feel' them, but we don't have a clue why they are there. These can be a result of circumstances, but they can also be a result of some internal conflict that is putting our emotions through their paces.

How does one get to the place of 'not worrying' when life seems to be creating chaos, or our emotions are in a muddle? If you are like me, your first inclination may be to withdraw a bit in the midst of emotional chaos - choosing a place of solitude until you can get through the turmoil. I find myself sending up a few quick words of prayer, seeking God's wisdom to recognize the source of my worries, and then I just listen. That may seem a bit passive to you, but God never fails to bring peace when I 'settle in' to his presence and just let him have his way.

His peace is a great guard over our hearts - this means our emotions don't have to run amuck in our lives. We can go to him, drawing close through prayer, praise, and recalling his Word, then just listen to hear his stillness 'speak' into our lives. God's voice is 'still' and it is powerful. We must not circumvent this stillness - it has more power than any amount of 'busyness' we can put ourselves through in order to 'escape' our emotions and worries. If we desire peace, we find it in him. If we want power, it is never in the things we sheme to do to counter our worries - it is found in the stillness of his presence and the 'refilling' of our lives with his love, joy, and absolute peace. Just sayin!

Management Position Open

I said to myself, “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.” But as I stood there in silence—not even speaking of good things—the turmoil within me grew worse. The more I thought about it, the hotter I got, igniting a fire of words... (Psalm 39:1-3)

Have you ever tried to NOT say something, only to find the harder you try NOT to say it, the more you THINK about it? You mull those words over and over in your mind, trying to figure out if you can find another way to say it, but all the while you are aware those words just shouldn't be spoken no matter how you form them. It always amazes me how 'hard' we can try and how 'easy' it is to let loose! The more we 'mull', the more we will 'spew' - it might not be a verse from the bible, but you can take that one to the bank!

These negative words we mull upon actually create a kind of turmoil within - much like that of a funnel cloud. We get all 'worked up' and before long, we are bringing words into the thoughts that don't even relate to the stuff we are mulling upon. It is like they get 'caught up' into the turmoil of other words, all of them mixing together, until it is a jumble of thoughts all colliding within our minds. The 'cloud' is building into quite a storm! Try to hold back a tornado and you find the 'force' isn't easily contained - neither are our words.

What we think eventually leads to how we will act. That is the danger in trying to 'manage' all these thoughts on our own. We don't actually 'manage' well! We are one of the worst managers our minds have ever encountered. We need God's help if we are to be 'managed well', my friends. We might think we have developed some good 'management strategies' when it comes to our thoughts and words, but just think back to the last time you said something that ignited a disagreement. How were your 'management skills' in that moment? If you are anything like me, you knew you had just poured kerosene on an open flame!

David says something here that we might just miss. He points toward 'speaking of good things' - in other words, bringing God's Word into the mix of all the jumble of thoughts within. I have come to the conclusion that when God's Word is 'rehearsed' (mulled over) in those moments of irrational and muddle thoughts, the tendency to 'pick up' all the other 'muddled thoughts' is less. We don't see the 'funnel cloud of emotions' grow bigger and bigger. We see 'rational' replace 'irrational' and 'kindness' replace 'anger'. 

We may not be the right ones to manage our words because we have all that emotional baggage trying to get 'picked up' into the mix, but we have been given the wisdom found in the Word of God to help keep that emotional baggage in its place. We have been given the Holy Spirit to help us recall that wisdom and then to help us 'rehearse' it rather than the garbage we allow to get caught up in our minds. We need to be under 'proper management' if we want to see any control over our thoughts and words. That management position belongs to Christ - not us. Just sayin!

Filtered or Unfiltered?

Careful words make for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything. (Proverbs 13:3)

We all manage to say things we later regret, don't we? In a moment of 'not thinking', we blurt out something that either comes across too harsh, too crass, or too weird. In that moment, we almost wish we could snatch them back right out of the air, hoping they would never reach anyone's ears. It has proven difficult for me to actually snatch back words once spoken, although I have found myself doing more than my share of 'back-pedaling' to attempt to 'get out of' whatever it is I have managed to get myself into. Careless words just hang there for a while, don't they? 

How do we become for 'careful' with our words? You might not believe this, but it is by engaging our brain before we engage our mouth! We disengage our emotions, think through what needs to be said and how it should be said, then consider if it even needs to be said at all. Why would I say we need to disengage our emotions? Emotions cause us to blurt out all kinds of stuff - good at times, but mostly foolish, selfish, or just plain unkind. It isn't that we aren't to convey emotion in what we say, but we cannot let our emotions 'lead' the conversation.

I find myself asking God to 'filter' my words at times when I am emotionally 'charged' or just emotionally 'drained'. The more he filters those words, the less likely I am to say things I will later regret. What does this filter look like? It might not function like a gag in our mouth, but it may just function like a gag over our emotions. For example, heated moments need time to cool off a bit, so his 'filter' over heated emotions help us take time to 'chill' and then regroup to talk things through. It is like a little prompt to take a step back, inhale deeply, exhale slowly, and then re-engage once you have allowed those emotions to settle a bit.

Not one of us wants to be known for our careless or foolish words. We'd much rather be known for our wisdom and kindness, right? I have had coffee made with grinds in the bottom of the pot and that which has been run through a filter that contains the grinds. I much prefer the latter! Filtered words are always going to be preferable - we just have to remember to check our emotions, ask God for clarity and wisdom, and once our emotions are settled securely behind that filter of God's presence, speak. Just sayin!

Emotionally Charged?

A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Our answers matter, so perhaps this is why God asks us to take time to consider the words we deliver. They can build us up, giving us just the right amount of encouragement to take a step forward. They can also tear us down, anchoring us even further into the doubts and frustrations we have at the moment. If we become angered with one another, it could be out of frustration, or even a feeling like we have lost some 'control' in the matter. When things cause us to 'spin' into anger, we say things we might have never intended to say. It is like a leaky pipe, at first not noticed, but eventually it will burst, leaving damage in its wake.

All of us get a little irritated at times, no matter how 'godly' we are. It isn't that we have a lifestyle of anger, it is just that we have moments when we are overly tired or overwhelmed by life, and our response may be a little less than 'godly' when things seem to 'prickle our emotions'. While anger may range from outbursts to words spoken that cut or sting another a bit, God asks us to allow him to help us avoid these responses. We cannot avoid anger on our own - we need God's help to continuously make us aware of our 'emotions' and our 'senses'. Emotions because they get 'prickled' and senses because they get 'fried' when we deal with things that are overwhelming us.

I will be the first to admit that a 'gentle answer' is sometimes the furthest thing from my mind when I am at that point of saying something in the 'heat of the moment'. I can attempt to 'bite my tongue', but it doesn't deal with the 'down deep' feelings I am experiencing. It just keeps those words from escaping that I would really like to say! When I take a moment to ask God to show me what another may be experiencing, and why they are reacting as they are, I can tell you with almost 100% assurance that he does. He helps me settle my 'down deep' feelings toward that person's reaction, and then he helps me settle the emotions, so I act kindly instead of reacting in kind toward the other person.

It doesn't come instantly at times. Sometimes I need to take a moment to breathe and then address the situation. At others, I need to completely restructure the situation - like doing something different until I find the emotions settled and the answers coming that will be kind and loving toward another. In taking the time to lean into God for my response, I always find them to be gentler, more grace-filled, and with less 'charge' to the emotions we are each experiencing. Just sayin!

Afraid to ask?

 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. (Psalm 139:23-24)

Have you ever prayer a similar prayer? It is a kind of scary thing to ask God to test your heart and mind to see if there is any offensive stuff there, isn't it? You almost don't want to ask because you know there is! When God points out what 'offends' him, he doesn't do it to humiliate us, or even to chastise us. He does it to show us how deeply he loves us - because he wants us to be free of all that garbage that takes up emotional, mental, or physical space in our lives.

To be led, one must submit to the one leading. To be whole, one must submit to the one capable of ridding us of all the stuff that keeps us 'broken' and 'hurt'. When we don't know the way, we seek guidance via a mapping service, GPS, or the good old way of asking someone for directions. Why do we not ask God to show us where our lives are actually being held 'captive' by our thoughts, emotions, or past hurts? Perhaps it is because we have held onto those things for so long that we just don't see any way past them. There is always a way when we ask God to show us the way.

Do you think God really doesn't know our hearts without that 'testing' process our psalmist is seeking? He does, but have you ever considered that the 'testing' process is really a way of getting us to know our own hearts as well as God knows them? Maybe we are turned off by the term 'test', because we think testing has a negative connotation. Yes, testing includes investigation and analysis, but it also involves a certain amount of 'corroboration' - affirmation, validation, and verification. We likely know a bit of what is there, but when we ask God to test our hearts, we are asking him to 'validate' or 'verify' what we believe to be there. 

There is nothing that delights his heart more than to hear us ask for his view into our minds and heart. He won't shame us, but he will help us see the healing that is possible when he is given access to those areas that have held us captive for so long. So, don't hesitate to ask - you might just be dazzled by what you discover with his help! Just sayin!

Is that tug in the right direction?

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-10)

What does it mean to 'learn to love appropriately'? If we follow what Paul is teaching here, we will realize reliance upon feelings is not good. We need to 'test' those feelings - making sure they are leading us into actions that are wholesome, upright, and on track with how God would love. If they aren't leading us in that direction, they need to be rejected or refocused. Sometimes we rely heavily upon how we 'feel' toward another person or a situation, but then find ourselves not 'feeling good' when the interaction doesn't go well, or the circumstances seem to change. What we didn't do was combine our heartfelt 'feelings' with the things we have come to 'know' about God in our minds. Heart AND mind need to be on the same page. 

True or 'exemplary' love is able to distinguish between right and wrong pretty well. Why? There is a determination of heart and mind to listen intently to the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives - not acting out of selfish ambition, stubborn pride, or foolish interest. Learning to love 'appropriately' begins with learning which emotions (feelings) can be trusted and which ones need to be rejected. We don't do this on our own, but by the power of the Spirit of God that lives within us. He helps us 'sort out' those things in our mind and emotions that can get us caught up in all kinds of silly pursuits. It gives us stability even when there is a 'heart tug' to do something we know might not be all that 'good' for us. It is these 'heart tugs' in the wrong direction that God is really trying to get us to see, my friends. It isn't that he says we cannot have emotions (feelings), but that there needs to be a continual submission of those emotions to truth in the Word of God, the wisdom and direction of the Spirit of God who indwells us, and the past lessons we have learned when we have gone both the right way with our choices. 

Love is a growing thing - so if we want to be good examples of God's grace on this earth, we need to manifest that grace through love. Exemplary love, in fact. Tall order, I know, but one I am certain God will 'back up' with all the weight of heaven behind us when we get this 'testing of our emotions' thing down pat. Just sayin!

Regrets anyone?

God, the one and only— I’ll wait as long as he says. Everything I need comes from him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I’m set for life. (Psalm 62:1-2)

I saw a quote by "Missional Women" that read: "It is better to wait on God than to have regrets." It hit me that we all deal with regrets and if this 'waiting on God' part of our lives were just a bit better, we might not have quite so many. As King David proposed, if we wait as long as God says, the outcome may just be a little more certain. Why? The ground we stand upon is solid - the place where we take refuge while we wait gives us the needed time to breathe in and breathe out. We are to go to God, waiting upon him as long as HE says, not trudging ahead because WE say it is time to move.

I speak for myself here - waiting is tough business. My mind gets me in muddle and the muddle just gets worse as I imagine all "I" could be doing if "I" just moved ahead. Did you catch all those "I's" in that sentence? Most of the trouble I find myself in is my own doing because I didn't take time to wait AS LONG AS HE SAYS. Yes, I emphasized that for a reason because I believe we ALL need to hear that one. AS LONG - this is more than likely hard for us because of that one day with God is as a thousand years with us thing (2 Peter 3:8). His timing is not slow - our expectations are too quick.

Regrets are things we feel sorrow or remorse for - missed opportunities, actions that lead to negative outcomes, disappointment over expectations not met as we hoped. When we regret something, we are actually looking upon it with a strong emotional sense of loss. As much as there may be emotions attached to taking action, there can be even more intense emotions when realize the loss associated with taking actions too quickly. If we never stop long enough, taking time to actually sit and listen to what God says, we are likely to always be taking steps we find end in some form of the emotional upheaval we call regrets. Just sayin!

Link to Missional Women: Missional Women | Facebook

Feeling it?

Forget about the wrong things people do to you, and do not try to get even. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:18)

As you might well imagine, as long as there are people attempting to coexist on this earth, there will be conflict of some sort. Some of it is really kind of silly conflict, such as when a team pitted against another on the football field begins to push and shove others on the opposite team, erupting into a few chosen words and punches. Other conflict is quite real, such as when one nation rises up against another, taking life after life in the conflict. Some conflict might just be a little selfish, such as when we pout because we didn't get our own way about something. Regardless of the reason for conflict - it exists all around us. As you might imagine, God's answer to conflict is to expect it, but not to dwell within it - don't get caught up in it, engage in it, or harbor the type of conflict that lasts forever.

This concept of 'getting even' seems to come quite naturally to us, doesn't it? We 'feel' wronged in one way or another, even at times when the battle is really not our own, but we take it on. There we are, right in the middle of the fray, holding fast to one 'side' of the conflict, determined to 'win'. If you are anything like me, you have been on the wrong side of the conflict a few times - choosing to dig in when you knew the right thing was to let go. It is hard to 'let go' when we 'feel' anything toward the issue at hand, isn't it? We allow those feelings to begin to dictate our response to the conflict rather than looking at the people we are about to engage with. We overlook their emotions and investment in whatever it is we are about to enter into conflict over - standing stubbornly in whatever opinion we have formed because of how we 'feel' toward the issue. Sadly, our feelings can begin many a 'conflict' that we really don't have the energy, time, or treasure to invest. 

Perhaps this is why God focuses so much on the idea of 'expecting' conflict, but not 'entering into' it. He knows once we yield to those emotions, we go down a slippery path that leads to even further conflict in our lives - damaging relationship after relationship. That path is fed by our emotions, bolstered by the return of emotion we see from others engaged in the conflict, and fueled by our pride far more than we may want to admit. It is that 'I am getting even' attitude that gets us into so much unwanted 'additional conflict'. If we'd stop long enough to acknowledge the emotions on both sides of the conflict, then listen closer to our Lord's voice urging us to lay down our hurt instead of being led by our emotions, we might just realize a whole lot more of the 'forgetting of the conflict' he desires to see from each of us. We'd stop before things got 'out of hand' and we'd work to reconcile quickly. Just sayin!

Prepare for the worst

Guilt is banished through love and truth; Fear-of-God deflects evil. (Proverbs 16:6)

Guilt is a tough opponent, isn't it? That guilt we all carry around in our lives is like a 'cling-on' - kind of undetected but wearing away at us as time goes by - it resists separation at all cost. I have some sweaters that have those balled up pieces of lint that gathers everywhere and make them look a little less than stellar. They are comfortable, but they don't look very nice anymore. Those 'cling-on' bits and pieces refuse to separate themselves from those sweaters - even when I pluck them away, it just leaves a place for another bit or piece of lint to gather. Guilt is kind of like that - we get rid of some of it, but it leaves 'raw places' in our lives that seem to get 'filled' again with memories of the 'bits and pieces' that were shed from that spot.

When mom was alive, she used to buy things from one of those places that sent the catalogs all the time. She bought a 'lint shaver' once that was battery operated. It promised to remove all the 'cling-on' lint from your clothing. I used it a couple of times, but honestly it didn't do all that good of a job. It made things look good for about one or two wears, but then I was right back at it again. The issue wasn't the lint remover, it was the fact the garments were just going to make those 'cling-on' lint gatherings! It is kind of like that with us - we get free of our sin and guilt, only to embrace a little bit of sin later on, allowing the guilt to gather up and 'cling-on'. As long as we are on this earth there will be temptation and we don't always do our best to avoid it.

I have mentioned on more than one occasion the importance of 'preparing for' our eventual tangle with temptation. It is that preparatory work that keeps us from getting pulled into the tangle of sin in the first place. Emotions will ride high when all is well in our lives, but when we give into temptation the emotional upheaval makes all the highs a distant memory. We succumb to the guilt load - the cling-on that just keeps on giving. Knowing where our emotional weak spots exist doesn't mean we are helpless or hopeless - it means we can prepare for them and be ready when they come. Guilt is banished (eliminated, eradicated, driven away) where love and truth are free to work.

This means we need to make truth part of our preparatory work. Truth is found in God's Word. Get into it and allow it to get into you. Know what scripture says about your weak areas - how they are overcome. Then when they come, use truth to dispel the desire to give into those thoughts, emotions, or cravings that come. It took me a long time to know I could tell my emotions how to respond - I didn't need to give into them all the time. Instead of riding an emotional roller-coaster all the time, I asked God to show me how to get ahead of those troubling emotions. It took a bit of effort, but when we ask God to lovingly show us how to 'prepare for the worst', he doesn't ignore such a request. Just sayin!

The Emotional Tug

I guess none of us wants to hear we need to 'wean ourselves' off the old ways of thinking and acting, do we? In fact, whenever someone points out something in my character that needs a little adjustment, I almost want to cringe because I thought I was doing 'okay'. We actually 'suffer' a little pain with that reminder everything is not 'okay' in our lives. Whether it is physical, mental, or emotional in nature, human nature just lends itself to suffering. We cannot escape the fact - some suffering is brought on by our own doing! Other times, it is completely out of our control. The hardest thing to deal with is the type of suffering brought on by our own doing. We often associate a sense of guilt and shame to our own failures, compounding the suffering any wrong choice, thought, or emotional attachment we may be going through. Weaning ourselves from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get our own way is indeed necessary, but it isn't easy!

Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want. (I Peter 4:1-2)

The instruction to us is to learn to think like Jesus. In essence, we are reminded of the power of the mind, because as we think, so shall we go. We all know how hard it is at times to even admit we need a change of thinking, much less actually accomplishing it! God is faithful - he gives us a key to our inability to independently "deal" with suffering in our lives, but to walk above it in his power. To better understand the power of the mind, let's look for a moment at Paul's teaching to the Corinthian church when they were struggling on the rigidity of rule-keeping required by the Law of Moses: We sometimes tend to think we know all we need to know to answer these kinds of questions—but sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds. We never really know enough until we recognize that God alone knows it all. (I Corinthians 8:2-3) Do you see it? WE tend to think we know it ALL already - we have all the answers we need. How's that pattern of thought been serving you, my friends? I can tell you it doesn't serve me well!

In our suffering of any form of pain, we often gravitate to trying to "figure things out" in our own capacity. We get into the "fix" mode, trying to "undo", "redo", or just plain "do". The "thinking" part of our suffering is something we cannot neglect. No one knows what we are going through like Jesus does, so why do we exclude him from our times of 'suffering' through issues in our lives. He "connects" with us in our suffering because he is "connected to us" in his own suffering. Learning to think as he thought in the midst of his suffering is then something we will do well to latch onto. But...we cannot change our thinking until there is a change of heart and the change of heart is linked directly to the change of mind, so what are we to do? The mind remains rigidly fixed on what it focuses on the most - remember my conversation about our most dominant thought taking us down some path? Remember Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he..." The heart determines our course. If we want to learn to "think" differently, we have to allow our "heart" to be changed. Our "hearts" want their own way. The heart - the mind, will, and emotions that make up our life experiences. Now, isn't this where the majority of our suffering begins? The mind cooks up some scheme, the will engages the body in the mind's contrivance, and soon the emotions are carried away on the winds of foolish thought! If you think you can change mind or heart without taking emotions under control, think again!

Sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds. When we begin to determine to destroy the "independence" of our mind, will and emotions, we begin to live with humble hearts. Did you know this is a definition of humility - to have the independence, power, or will of something destroyed once and for all? My emotions want their own way and it is oftentimes not the most reasonable choice I am about to make when following those emotions! Now, chew on this one for a while. When we struggle the most, we find ourselves returning to the place of trying to live independent from God - emotionally driven, independently focused, and set on a course determined in some of the most irrational ways possible. In the midst of our struggle, God is working to break our independence. Peter's word picture says a great deal about our struggle - tyrannized by what we want, we endure much suffering. 

As long as we remain attached to our "independence", we will endure much suffering. It is in the humbling of our minds, submission of our will, and the focusing of our emotions that we come into a place where God can begin to affect our thinking. He is changing our "way of thinking" to align with his so that as we are developing the mind of Christ, we are being delivered from our place of our own suffering. The mind and heart are indeed connected - as a man thinks, so is he! When I begin to allow my independence to be destroyed, bringing into submission my will, the change in thinking begins to affect a change in action - and a control of those unreasonable emotions. Changed actions often do a great deal to alleviate suffering. Beginning to "think right" really goes a long way toward beginning to "act right"! Just sayin!

Too many lids?

It may seem like a small thing, but yesterday I emptied the dreaded 'lid drawer' of all those plastic lids to the various size containers I have in another drawer. Then I pulled out those containers and guess what I did next....I matched them up! Lid with container until all were matched. Then I found what I had suspected all along....many a lid remained with no matching container. Why? Perhaps the container had found another use such as it being a holder of items in a storage drawer, or it just simply got yucky looking and was discarded. I was left with 10 or more lids with no 'mate'. No wonder that drawer was frustrating me! I then sorted through the containers until I found the best to keep and made up a box to take to the local thrift store. Know what? I finally can find a lid to match my remaining containers! Once the 'clutter' was gone, it was easy to do! There are just times when we need to take time to 'declutter' our lives a little. Not just the junk drawers in the kitchen, but the inner emotions that have an effect on our outward actions!

So get rid of all that is wrong in your life, both inside and outside, and humbly be glad for the wonderful message we have received, for it is able to save our souls as it takes hold of our hearts. (James 1:21 TLB)

There are a lot of us who allow too much 'clutter' in our emotions. We hold onto stuff that we know very well holds no purpose in our lives, and we find ourselves kind of 'sorting through' all the clutter most of the time. We cannot really do much until we finally allow for the stuff to just get put in order, though! Just like the lids and containers in my kitchen, the emotions that clutter our lives are likely not of much benefit to us. They are only creating a whole lot of extra work! They get in the way of getting at what we really want to say, how we should respond, or what we really need to be feeling in the first place. How do we know it is time to declutter our emotions. There are times that we find the emotion doesn't 'match' the issue - just like the lids not matching the containers in my kitchen. There are lots emotions, but the issue is just not 'matching up' to the emotions being displayed. Whenever we see this 'mismatch' occur, it is likely time to take time alone with God to allow a decluttering to occur!

You might think there is no 'mismatch' going on in your life, but most of us have a 'lid or two' hanging around inside our emotional 'lid drawer' that needs to be sent packing. It serves no purpose and only gets in the way of what we should really be focusing on anyway. When we ask for God's help to 'declutter' our emotions and memories, we find he does a very thorough job to all the 'drawers' we give him access to. If we hold back a 'drawer or two', we might benefit from the 'clean up' of the ones he declutters, but we will still not have freedom from the 'total clutter' in our emotions. Those 'off-limits' drawers in our emotions are not benefiting us! They are creating chaos and frustration - so why not give him access and be free of the clutter? Just askin!