Obedience first - feelings last

“Fools die because they refuse to follow wisdom. They are content to follow their foolish ways, and that will destroy them. But those who listen to me will live in safety and comfort. They will have nothing to fear.” (Proverbs 1:32-33)

The old song, "Fools rush in", admits that some can be so blinded by something or someone, all reasonable thought flies out the door. One of the lines in the song actually says, "Though I see the danger there, if there's a chance for me, then I don't care..." It goes without saying that we rush into danger more times than not simply because we failed to exercise wisdom in those moments. How can we get to the place where we 'don't rush in'? We learn to listen to God's voice!

God-given wisdom far exceeds human wisdom, but somehow, we think it is okay to just trudge right on into those moments we will come to regret later on. We refuse to listen to his wisdom and find ourselves treading on thin ice. Another line from that same song reminds us, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread..." If God's angels wouldn't even go there, why do we think it is okay to plunge right in? Our selfish and sinful minds can convince us of a great many follies being 'okay' at the moment, but if we were to admit it, we heard a 'warning' in our thoughts that we chose not to heed.

That 'warning' is God's Spirit trying to show us the right choice to make, but God doesn't 'hold us back' from following our own folly. We must exercise the restraint and count on God to give us that 'extra boost' we need in those areas of our lives where our own strength is rather weak. Emotions can carry us down some awkward paths, hard to navigate and even harder to escape. Relying upon our 'feelings' actually is like the 'fool that rushes in' mentality. We cannot count on our feelings to keep us safe - because we can justify every feeling, right or wrong!

Fools rush in - the wise listen for God's leading. One takes steps without thinking. The other counts on God to help sort out the good thoughts from the bad ones. One counts on what 'feels right', while the other trusts God's direction to be the best path, even when emotions don't quite 'match' what he is asking us to do. Know this: God's direction may contradict our feelings more times than not. To wait for our feelings to catch up to his direction is not the best plan. Sometimes we just need to put aside our feelings and do what we know he is directing us to do. Feelings follow obedient steps, my friends. Just sayin!

In a ditch? High-ended to boot?

My pastor aptly states, "Wisdom is not what you know, but what you show."  I cannot think of a better way to describe wisdom.  Many think wisdom comes with age - the older we are, the more wise we become because of what we have experienced.  Not always true!  Sometimes we can experience the same "bad" events over and over again, never learning anything from them!  There has been no learning - so there is nothing new to "show" from the event.  It is likely to be repeated until we learn to "show" what it is God desires to see!

The wisdom of the wise keeps life on track; the foolishness of fools lands them in the ditch.  (Proverbs 14:8 MSG)

The writer of Proverbs gives us two scenarios - one of a life which seems to be on track, the other of one which leaves us stuck in the ditch.  As a teenager, I took driver's education classes, but never got my driver's license until I entered the military.  Needless to say, when I finally held the shiny little card in my hand, I was anxious to show the world I could drive!  My friends and I were out one day, enjoying some time at the lake.  I guess my pride got the best of me, not to mention my unwillingness to admit I had never had the opportunity to drive more than a couple of "training" vehicles while in high school!  So, when the keys of my friends car were offered to me, I scampered behind the wheel, charged up to "show" my friends just how good of a driver I was!

The gravel road laid out in front of me as I accelerated into what would turn out to be a wild ride!  With dust flying high in my wake, tunes blaring on the radio, friends yacking about what to do next, we made our way down the road.  Little by little, I began to accelerate until I was doing close to 50 on a road which would have been best maneuvered at a speed of about 30!  Do you ever find yourself gradually "accelerating" into "danger zones" without really knowing you are "getting close"?  Well, I do!  That day was just one of the more salient examples.  

As you can imagine, I misread a curve, over-corrected and landed my friend's car in the ditch.  Some folks call it "luck" that no one was hurt - I call it God's grace and mercy!  We were stuck!  All because of my doing.  To make matters worse, we were not only in a ditch, but we were "caught" on a mound of dirt, high-ended in the ditch.  Not only were we in the ditch, but our tires were not touching the ground!  Not an easy place to get any "traction" to get out of the ditch!  Sometimes our misadventures in life get us "high-ended", unable to get any "traction" to get out of the fix we got ourselves into!

Thank goodness the car was filled with people!  At least we had enough muscle power to push the car out of the ditch.  But...we had to get its wheels on the ground again in order to get a start on getting it out of the ditch!  The folly of fools is kind of like being not only in the ditch, but without wheels on the ground!  This "fool" learned a lot from this most humbling of moments.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I found all kinds of excuses for why we ended up in the ditch - most of which pointed the finger somewhere other than at me!  The fool learns quickly to shift blame - assuming others will not see through their feeble attempts to cover-up their wrong actions.  

We eventually were back on the road, and I found it quite amazing to hear my friend actually tell me to drive us home!  Here I had landed them all in a ditch, high-ended her car, and put us through about another hour of agony attempting to free the vehicle from the mound of dirt and the unpacked gravel of the ditch - and she was trusting me to get them home safe!  I am not so sure this would have been my response, but she somehow saw through my shame (cleverly masked by all my excuses) and trusted me to "learn" from this moment.

It was not until the next morning when she went to drive to work, recognizing an empty gas tank and a strong smell of gas vapors around her car, that we discovered the "damage" of my folly.  Yep, a hole in the gas tank!  Thankfully, the guys we knew from the barracks were able to fix the leak, but the "patch" would always stand as a reminder of my folly!  Try as I might, hidden from the view of the public, it still was there to remind me of my escapade.  I lived with the fear the patch might not hold, it could cost me hundreds of hard-earned cash to fix, and I would have further inconvenienced my friend by having her car laid up for another period of time while repaired.  

Sin is often a result of our folly.  We set out on some venture in life, most of the time without any real thought, and find ourselves smack-dab in the middle of a muddle before we know it.  In those moments, what we do with the mess we are in makes all the difference!  It determines whether we will "show" wisdom, or just proclaim to have learned our lesson!  Just as the gas tank held the patch, our lives sometimes hold some pretty significant patches, as well.  At best, they are just that - patches.  There is always the "niggling" feeling the patches may not hold.  After all, patches are not only unreliable, they are also a little bit of a painful reminder of what went wrong!  As long as we focus on the patch we can "work out" in our lives, we fail to ever want to have the "fix" which will be permanent and reliable - God's grace.

Yep, the fool ends up in the ditch!  The place where traction for correction is hard to find.  The place where unrealized damage can occur - often not discovered until later.  Yet, when we admit our misguided actions, seek to have the "damages" permanently fixed by the one who put us together in the first place, and then begin to "navigate" life by his leading, we begin to "show" how wise we have become!  Just sayin!

Beat your head on that wall one more time

⁹ A sage trying to work things out with a fool
   gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble. 

(Proverbs 29:9)

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by trying to convince a fool that his thoughts or actions are foolish!  Try it sometime and you will walk away from the experience feeling like you have spent that hour hitting your head against the wall!  A fool just cannot see the trees for the forest - they just don't have perspective.

I have been in conversations at times that I feel as though they are "spinning out of control" - much like a tornado!  What I have learned is that I cannot ever "convince" the one who is not going to be open to being convinced!  When you present evidence, and there is absolutely no openness to evidence, it is hard to move beyond that resistance.

So, how do we deal with the folks in our lives that just don't ever seem to be open to the evidence - whether it is the facts they need to do their job better, the truth they need to embrace to keep a relationship together, or the evidence that the Word of God is valid?  I don't profess to know everything there is to know about this subject, but here's what I can glean from scripture (a good place to start, if you want my opinion):

• Don't argue with them!  Just put the facts out there - what they choose to do with the facts is their choice.  You are only "obligated" to share the truth and then let it stand.
• Don't try to reason with them!  This should go without saying, but a fool is NOT reasonable!  There is something lacking in their ability to see the event, process, or relationship in a rational manner.  I don't profess to know what that is that is "lacking", but I do believe that reasoning with a fool is much like trying to plug a leaking levy with your finger!  When you think you have it all control, another "leak" pops up!
• Don't try to play on their emotions!  This is dangerous ground - simply because they are so emotional in every response they make!  There is little balance, so thinking that you can play on their emotions is as uncertain as predicting how many ants dwell in one ant colony!  It is a moving target!

What I can say is this - fools don't want our advice, don't appreciate our directives, and don't value our wisdom.  So, don't spend a whole lot of valuable time trying to change them.  Point them in the right direction, but don't be dismayed when they don't follow your advice!

The "over" and "under"

¹ We no more give honors to fools than pray for snow in summer or rain during harvest. 

(Proverbs 26:1)

This chapter is full of advice about living around "fools", dealing with their "foolish behavior", or the unceasingly ill-effects of the "attitude of fools".  I thought it might be good to take a look at both the advice for dealing with a fool and their behavior, as well as considering the traits outlined within this chapter to see how many might actually be used to describe us once in a while.  These are by no means an "all-inclusive" list of the character traits of a fool, but they sure give us some insight!

• Don't respond to the stupidity of a fool; you'll only look foolish yourself. (vs. 4) - the advice to "not respond" to a fool is simply based on the idea that most of their argument is really not based on fact.  The fool argues (presents his/her point) from a position of having a limited understanding of a circumstance.  We all know the danger of having "some" knowledge and staking everything we do on that "portion" of the puzzle.  It takes all the pieces to make a full picture!
• Answer a fool in simple terms so he doesn't get a swelled head. (vs. 5) - a fool sees himself as wise in his own eyes, especially when a person "stoops" to his/her level.  In other words, we often spend a great deal of time trying to counteract the beliefs of the fool (their perception), but make no headway.  We need to be plain, direct, and simple in our responses, avoiding the tendency to get caught up in trying to convince the fool of the folly" of their beliefs.  
• You're only asking for trouble when you send a message by a fool. A proverb quoted by fools is limp as a wet noodle. (vs. 6-7) - A fool cannot carry the message accurately because they lack the depth of knowledge that comes when we consider the entirety of facts, they are often too quick to respond without thinking things through, and they just don't possess credibility within their peer group.  Credibility is based on the past performance of a person - if we continually bring half-truths, frequently spout off without thinking things through, etc., our credibility is diminished in the eyes of our peers.
• An employer who hires a fool or a bystander is like an archer who shoots at random. (vs. 10) - It is like shooting yourself in the foot, according to the Message translation.  A fool cannot stay on course - they are all over the map.  Today they have a commitment to one purpose, tomorrow they may be on to different things - there is a lack of consistency.  The target is difficult enough to hit when you are a skilled marksman, but shooting randomly, without thought or purpose, is totally worthless.  The haphazard approach to life is never the way to realize your goals.
• As a dog eats its own vomit, so fools recycle silliness.  (vs. 11) - A fool just cannot recognize when somethings just need to be left alone!  This is a pretty graphic depiction of a fool's tendency to return to the same patterns, the same unproven beliefs, etc.  The fool just cannot let go of what they would be better walking away from!

By and far, this list is not all-inclusive.  I just outlined a few of the passages for us to consider.  The chapter is filled with various others warnings about what a fool is capable of doing, how much havoc they wreak in a situation, etc.  If Solomon, and God, thought so much about warning us against fools and foolish behavior, isn't it a good idea to explore it a little deeper?  The consistent theme:  Fools over-react, under-think, over-simplify, under-prepare, over-indulge, and under-recognize the impact of their words, behavior, and attitudes.  Theirs is a life of going way "over" and living way "under"!

The hill you die on

³ It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels,
   but fools love to pick fights. 

(Proverbs 20:3)

Ever run across an individual that just seems contrary in all they do?  There is just no pleasing them - they find fault with everything and love to quarrel over the silliest of things.  There is a word for these type of individuals - fools!  Solomon makes it quite plain that a fool loves to pick a fight.  It is a mark of honor (of good character) to avoid a fight.  I am not implying that we actually live in a state of existence where we go through life without ever saying a cross word or entering into constructive debate periodically.  Yet, a man or woman of good character knows that insisting on a quarrel is not a sign of wisdom.

It is a good thing to overlook the small things in life.  There is a saying I heard some time ago that has stuck with me:  "Is this the hill you want to die on?"  In other words, is this the "battle" of the will or mind that you want to engage in?  "Small things" lead to the bigger battles when we allow ourselves to dwell upon them.  Angry outbursts and quarrels are a result of not overlooking an offense.  God honors the one who is able to turn away from fighting and to be a peacemaker.

Look at this passage again - it is not that we don't have the opportunity to quarrel, it is that we "avert" that opportunity.  This word carries both the idea of turning away before you enter into the quarrel and to prevent it before it has an opportunity to begin.  This is more than the "counting to ten" thing that some may engage in (not to say that this is bad) - it is the attitude of mind and heart that shows how much you value the other individual.  When we "turn away" or "turn aside" from a quarrel, we are choosing to honor God by not engaging in actions or the sharing of words that will not represent God well.

When we prevent a quarrel, we actually doing what God calls being a peacemaker.  A peacemaker is an intermediary - one who is able to see both sides of the coin.  There is an ability to not judge a situation by face value, but to see that there are always two sides to how a situation can be interpreted (each being valid in the other person's eyes).  

Today, we have a choice - it is to choose wisely the hills that we are willing to die on.  Quarrelsome behavior will soon wear us down, wear upon our relationships, and make us devoid of those strong supports we need in life.  Choose wisely - it is better to be numbered with the wise than with the fools!