Forgive and Restore - it is God's way

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)

I know forgiving someone when they have said or done something to hurt you is hard - we all struggle a bit with this one. We might want to say something in return that returns wound for wound, but that rarely works out too well for either of us. We might want to just 'cut them off' and forget about the one who has offended us, but that also doesn't work very well. Probably the last thing we want to do is extend grace, but it is the most effective and godly way for us to deal with one who has offended us. Love prospers when a fault is forgiven. Allow that one to sink in for just a moment. Read it again and let it really grip you. Love - sacrificial, peace-loving, kindness - actually grows out of forgiveness. It is as though forgiveness is the fertilizer that helps the relationship grow. This type of love does not dwell on the wrong - although that may be our first instinct. Remember, that instinct is 'human' and God asks us to see the other person through his eyes - with grace being the very 'lens' by which he views us.

This type of love does not rehearse the wrong, although it may be hard in a 'human sense' to allow God to replace the way we think about the offense with the way he sees the other individual. This type of peace seeks to maintain relationship rather than forsake it. Forgiveness has no room for broken relationships - it works to remove any distance that is created when hurts are allowed to interfere with the closeness God intends for his children. Does this type of love forgive even when the other individual doesn't seek forgiveness? It might be hard to accept, but there are just times when the other person has no clue how much they have offended you. The shoe could the on the other foot tomorrow, and you won't know how much your actions offend someone else. How would you want them to treat you? I imagine you want forgiveness, to be restored, and to have the relationship flourish, not flounder. Grace is desired. Dwell on God's goodness and grace, not on the offense or the offender.

To keep bringing up the offense is to allow a separation to come within the relationship. Maybe this is why God reminds us to not let the sun go down on our anger. Get right with God, then get right with each other. As long as God's children dwell upon this earth, there will always be a call for forgiving action. As long as there are offenses, real or imagined, there will be a call to forgive and restore. It is God's way. Just sayin!

Finally time

Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good. If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I will pay it back, says the Lord. Instead, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing this, you will pile burning coals of fire upon his head. Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)

The "payback" for some of our misdeeds or meddling into affairs we should have left alone may be coming! I have learned that payback is really not something I like or want! When I stop going where I shouldn't, others might stop going where they shouldn't. Why do they stop? They no longer have to "pay back" the misdeeds of others. I think God wants us to engage in active forgiveness, and allow him to be in control when things are spinning way out of our own sphere of influence.

Some of us have not learned to let go of stuff, doing what I refer to as "gunny-sacking" the hurts and misdeeds of others until we "need" them someday in the future to really "repay them". It is like we have this "sack" we might label our "revenge rucksack". We pack it so full of the things people say, do, and even don't have a clue they have said or done which hurt us, leave us disappointed, or just plain did in an unthinking moment. Then one day that "perfect" moment comes when we will "unload" the sack of stuff - putrid from sometimes years of decay within our "rucksack"! What a mess this creates in relationships. It is God's intent for us to not just empty the rucksack, but to completely remove it from our shoulders, hands, and possession! But...the emptying process is never to be on others...it is to be at the foot of the cross.

We will always be in contact with others who just don't see things as we do. This is life. You might expect me to say we need to learn to "deal with it" to the best of our abilities, but herein is where we find ourselves pulling out the rucksack and "packing for the trip". We need to learn not to "deal with it" ourselves, but allow God to deal with it! If we do this, we find ourselves not needing the rucksack in the first place! If you think of the purpose of a rucksack, it is designed for the shoulders, to be slung across the back of the one bearing the load within.  Rucksack is a German term meaning bag for the back. So, in essence, when we put things into our "rucksack", we are bearing the burden of the hurt they are causing on our own shoulders. It becomes the load which often breaks our backs because we weren't meant to actually bear up under that load in the first place!

The idea of "remaining current" is when we deal with the hurts of today, so they don't become the disappointments we nurse well into the future. Take just a few moments to step back, consider the perspective of the other person, and realize they probably didn't intend to come across the way they did, or didn't even realize they did what they did. At other times, we need to talk things out and get things in the open so they can be dealt with. Either way, we eliminate the tendency to store up stuff in our rucksack of revenge! The bitterness created by "housing" all those memories and hurts inside the sack just allows them to get all jumbled together and messed up. Eventually we won't be able to distinguish one "issue" from another because they are all "tainted" by the other! What comes out is a mess of bitter and disgusting thoughts, words, and deeds. What we are asked to do is trust God to "deal with" the other individual in the way he sees fit. God may convict them with his kindness, or he may bring a little displeasure their way - that is his business and totally his "purview". We need to leave this in his hands. When we do, we walk away without a burden on our shoulders we weren't meant to bear up under in the first place. It is time to finally ditch the rucksack!  Just sayin!

Do you have a rumination partner?

I caught a little quote from Positive Mind this morning on someone's social media feed and it gave me a moment to just consider the message: "If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow." I don't always remember to focus on the lesson, do you? Sometimes it is just easier to focus on the hurt and let that ruminate a bit. Problem is that ruminating just increases the amount of 'acidic influence' of the hurt. Maybe what we need most is someone in our lives that won't let us ruminate our way into a bitter heart!

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. (Hebrews 12:15)

God actually commands us to 'watch out' for the root of bitterness - not just in ourselves, but in each other, as well. We are sometimes more sensitive to someone's 'ruminating' than they are themselves. It is easy for the one doing the ruminating to focus on the hurt repeatedly but be totally oblivious to what all that ruminating is actually doing to their spirit, emotions, and their bodies. When we have an accountability partner in our lives, there is a good chance they will 'call us' on our behavior. When they do, it is time to 'spit out' that stuff we have been ruminating on and rid ourselves of all that foulness that goes along with it.

The bad part of bitterness is that it never just affects us - it affects all those around us. Sometimes I think we justify our 'hurt feelings' a bit too easily, allowing that rumination to begin. We were wronged, even if no one else sees how 'wronged' we were, so we are going to focus on just how wronged we were over and over again. If someone else is willing to listen to us list all the ways we were wronged, all the better. When we share the hurt with another who is not going to encounter us about our focusing on the hurt instead of the lesson and we will find ourselves with a 'rumination partner'!

We are to look after each other - so not one of us fails to receive the grace God has for us in the hurt. The lesson comes with an ample supply of grace - the grace to let it go, the grace to forgive the other person, and the grace to rebuild the relationship once again. When we have an accountability partner, they focus us on the grace that is available, while the rumination partner focuses us on just how 'right' we are to be ruminating in the 'wrong' done to us. We need a partner who consistently points us toward grace and away from the 'rumination pit'! These are the individuals that help us change our focus from the hurt toward the lesson. Just sayin!

Life Hack #29: Pay it Forward, Not Backward

Life Hack #29:

Like it or not, we all have at least one enemy in this lifetime. It is an honest part of human nature to want to see some harm come to your enemy. The very word "enemy" suggests someone who is your opponent, operating with some type of antagonistic behavior that makes the two of you adversaries. To want good for your enemy is counter intuitive. They are out to harm you - so why should you be out to bless them? Yet, we are not to revel in their fall, nor celebrate their collapse. We are to leave their "outcome" to God - something harder said than done!

Don’t laugh when your enemy falls; don’t crow over his collapse. God might see, and become very provoked, and then take pity on his plight. (Proverbs 24:17-18)

Enemies can be personal adversaries - such as someone bent on making your life miserable - all attacks aimed at you alone. They can also be generally around us - such as public officials who don't represent the needs, wants, or beliefs of the public they are designed to serve. The clear instructions are that we need to be very, very careful in our dealings with our enemies. This isn't just because we could get hurt by their attacks, but because God's business is to take care of their wrong-doing - ours is to pray for them, bless them, and serve them as much as physically, emotionally, and spiritually possible.

There are several examples in scripture worth mentioning as it pertains to dealing with the enemy. A woman caught red handed in adultery had many accusers. Those who did the accusing sought to end her life - by the once practiced punishment of stoning. She is at their mercy - and they have no intention of extending any! This is often the case when our own actions may have not been the best - our enemies capitalize on our failures and make them a point to take advantage of us whenever possible. Jesus did something we could learn from. Instead of pointing out that the woman needed mercy, he allowed her enemies to come to the conclusion they were not without faults in their own lives. In so doing, through his simple statement of "Let the one without sin among you cast the first stone", he silenced her enemies. God has the "insight" into what is at the core of our enemy's behavior, and he knows how to silence him! Best to leave it in his hands!

A woman believing she'd never have a child of her own sought to ensure some offspring to ensure the continuation of the family line, allowing a slave woman to bring forth a son for her husband. Her name? Sarah. Her husband? Abraham. The outcome of this rash decision was a son born to Hagar, a servant woman. In time, Sarah did bear a child - in God's timing. In rather short order, the child grew and became the heir apparent to the inheritance of his father. Animosity grew between Hagar and Sarah. Sarah regretted her decision to encourage Abraham to father a child with the servant; Hagar resented all the attention and favor shown to the child born out of Sarah and Abraham's union. 

This is one of those cases where our own actions actually create the enemy we deal with. We all have done something similar through choices we have made which we later regret. God's actions on our part are no different - he has a way of extending grace where it is most needed, but the consequences of our having gone our own way might still be there to "haunt" us for quite some time. Rash, poorly planned decisions cost us, but God is in the business of restoring even what becomes our greatest nightmare. God may not have desired the results we reaped through our decisions, but he certainly has a way of restoring what we cannot "undo" on our own!

The point God makes is that we are not to "deal with" our enemies - HE is. We are not to relish their downfall - but remember them in prayer. We are not to return negative with negative - but to bless them. The only way we will ever do this is when we hold tightly to God's hands and allow him to walk us through it. He may not deal with our enemies as we "think" he should but trust me - God always deals with them in a way which is right, just, and in just the right timing. We have to stand on that and trust he knows best - even when we think they are getting off "too light". We will need mercy more times than we can count. When we behave poorly, do we want God being quick to extend mercy, or to bring swift judgment? Just askin!

A laden soul

May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to you, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

John Maxwell reminds us, "People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude." What does your attitude say today? Does it reveal your tiredness or frustration? Does it shine forth with encouragement and hope? We actually 'choose' our attitude, but we would like to blame our attitude on others or circumstances. If it is bad, we blame it on the bad stuff happening in our lives. If it is jubilant, we attribute it to the good stuff going on around us. Spoken words reveal much, but our unspoken thoughts often come across in our attitude. Don't believe me? When was the last time you looked at your posture when you are in the depths of thought about something that is giving you a bit of trouble? How is your posture when you are well-rested versus weary from a lack of the proper rest? Your posture might just reveal a bit of that 'inner thought' attitude you have going on right now!

When both our spoken words and unspoken thoughts are influenced by the Spirit of God within us, we are more likely to reveal an attitude of grace, love, and forgiveness. Those three things go a long, long way toward elevating one's attitude! They can unburden even the most laden of souls. Holding onto a grudge - the feeling that you have been wronged - will just lead to a 'laden attitude'. Your inner thoughts will betray your outward facade. What you believe about the other person will eventually come through loud and clear even when you don't say a thing! Love generously, forgive freely, and give grace where it is least deserved - then see what that does to lighten your burden. 

In closing today, I'd like us to each answer the questions posed by clergyman Henri Nouwen: "Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come." What fruit will you bear today isn't just revealed in your spoken words - the real fruit may be hidden in the recesses of your unspoken thoughts. Let the Spirit of God lead you into those recesses today - bringing to light any area where you are holding onto things that only serve to burden your soul. Then let go. Just sayin!

But...I wanna respond that way

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)

How do we best 'imitate' God? We aren't called to be 'little gods' on this earth, but we are asked to 'imitate' the love and grace of God. Regardless of how another may act, our actions should reveal the grace of God. Easier said than done because THEIR actions seem to evoke a response from US that may not always be grace-filled! The truth of the matter is that THEIR actions are THEIR responsibility - OUR actions and responses are OURS. Grace begins in OUR response to THEIR actions, remembering that grace if GIVING another what they clearly did not deserve.

I know how easily our defenses can go up when someone says or does something we don't agree with. Trust me, I have had my share of my hackles being raised by the words or actions of another. We ALL get 'rubbed the wrong way' on occasion, sometimes without us even doing anything to 'deserve' the wrong actions of another. How we respond in those moments is how others will either see God in us or observe just how ungrateful we are for the grace of God in our lives. Why do I say we are ungrateful if we don't respond with love? Because God GAVE his love to a bunch of undeserving, self-centered, pride-filled people - grace sent his Son to the cross. If we respond with anything less than love and grace in those moments when our hackles are raised, are we really revealing gratefulness for that undeserved grace?

We don't 'imitate' God by going to church. We 'imitate' him by living out grace. That means we become the living, breathing church - grace-filled individuals who have found forgiveness for our own sins and want others to experience this same freedom. Good works alone are never going to reveal Christ to a hurting world. If our heart is revealed in our interactions with those who raise our hackles aren't filled with grace and love, then all the good works are really just a facade. Our heart is revealed in our responses to those who don't deserve grace or love, but who need both in unlimited measure! Just sayin!

A little 'parenting' lesson

The Lord shows mercy and is kind. He does not become angry quickly, and he has great love. He will not always accuse us, and he will not be angry forever. He has not punished us as our sins should be punished; he has not repaid us for the evil we have done. As high as the sky is above the earth, so great is his love for those who respect him. He has taken our sins away from us as far as the east is from west. (Psalm 103:8-12)

I find it very good news that God does not punish us as our sins should be punished. As a parent, I often considered the ill-behavior of my children and found myself in a quandary as to how to 'punish' the ill behavior. There were even times I'd ask the offended party to name the punishment for the offending party - as though a brother or sister who was angry with the other was the right one to pick the punishment! I even tried asking the ill-behaving child to pick their own punishment on occasion. I guess I was out of options at that point - sorry kids. God doesn't relish punishing bad behavior any more than we did as parents. In fact, he would rather we just listen closely, obey the first time, and avoid the need for any 'corrective action' within our lives. Doesn't that sound familiar? The amazing thing about our 'heavenly parent' is that he doesn't need to seek advice on what to do when our behavior isn't quite up to snuff. 

God knows very well that our own consciences can be the greatest 'punishment' any of us can endure. We act incorrectly, realize our behavior was directly the opposite of what God would have desired, and we begin to 'feel' the pain of our choices. Why? Our conscience begins to 'condemn' us. We begin to feel the 'inward disapproval' of our actions caused by the tugging of our conscience. The good news is that we don't have to wallow in our condemnation - we can bring our misguided deeds to God and lay them out before him. As we do, we begin to find an easing of those feelings of 'internal disapproval'. Why? God is restoring us inwardly. Confession is really a means of inward restoration - the renewing of our minds. The feelings may take a while to follow, but what God sets in motion is sure to come to fruition.

When I asked one of my children to determine the 'right punishment' for something their sibling had done against them, such as breaking one of their favorite toys, it usually ended in a good outcome. I guess I am fortunate this way because they were more reasonable and forgiving of each other than I would have wanted them to be at that moment of frustration in my life as a parent. I was caught up in the emotion of their adverse behavior - they were caught up in doing what I asked them to do - forgive one another and show each other the love and respect of siblings. As I witnessed how 'lenient' they were toward one another, I began to realize just how 'lenient' God has been with me, as well. My bad behavior throughout the years could have 'deserved' much worse 'punishment', but somehow God's grace provided for a much 'lesser' punishment. 

We don't 'deserve' forgiveness - but it is rendered all the same. We don't 'deserve' leniency - but it comes our way time after time. We don't 'deserve' to be loved - but love involves risk and God risked it all to show us how much we are each loved so very much. Bask in his love today - let your conscience be healed - and then begin to embrace him fully. Restoration begins in realizing just how deeply we are loved. Just sayin!

Don't be a vessel

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. (Mark Twain)

If we were to be honest about our anger, we would likely acknowledge there is something within us that was wounded - our pride took a hit of some sort. Most of the time it is not that we just have a bad temper - it is an issue with our pride that causes us to have those outbursts that bring riffs in relationships. Most of us don't have 'rage issues' or 'bad tempers' - we just get a bit miffed at one another on occasion because something struck us wrong, we were disappointed by some response, or we just plain got our undies in a bundle because we didn't get our own way. I know - I just meddled in your mess a bit - but I also am meddling in mine!

If you are angry, be sure that it is not out of wounded pride or bad temper. Never go to bed angry—don’t give the devil that sort of foothold. (Ephesians 4:26)

I think this translation of this passage does a disservice by using the word 'if' - it is more accurate to use the word 'when' you are angry. God knows when our pride gets in the way, anger may not be far behind. We get 'moody' and a bit 'testy' when we find ourselves with a bit of 'wounding' to our pride. It comes out in all kinds of forms - curtness, sulking, shutting someone out. Regardless of the form it takes, it is something WE must own - because anger in any form is our doing, not the other person's. 

I think that is why Twain reminded us of the 'acidity' of anger when it is 'stored up' within us. It actually eats away at us - not the other person. God reminded us to not 'hold up' anger - deal with it in the here and now, not allowing the devil to get a foothold that could eventually become a stronghold in our lives. Anger isn't always someone else's fault - sometimes we do or say things that just escalate the situation and lead to things being said or done that would not have been otherwise. Remember: "He who angers you conquers you." (Elizabeth Kenny)

Rather than allowing the wound to fester, we owe each other the benefit of forgiveness. We actually might need to admit our 'pride' took a bit of a hit, but when we are humble enough to say we didn't respond well, we are on the road to letting go of the offense before it has a chance to become 'acidic' in our relationship. The hardest lesson we may have to learn is how to lay down our pride and actually learn how to reconcile issues as they arise. Reconciliation requires humility - there is no room for wounded pride if two are to agree on anything. Just sayin! 

When you speak...

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.

(Marianne Williamson)

Forgiveness is an often misunderstood condition of the heart. Yes, I said it is a condition of the heart - for the heart is made up of our mind (the place we trap all those thoughts of being wronged), the will (the thing that makes us stand firm in our bitterness even when we see how miserable it is making our life), and our emotions (the very things that are constantly being played upon by our bitterness). It is the heart that holds on and it is the heart that lets go - let's learn to let go a bit more than we hold on.

“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.” (Luke 17:3-4)

There is no peace without forgiveness - those words should resonate with us each and every day. There is no peace in our hearts without the forgiveness of God - wiping away every stain of sin in our lives. There is no peace in our hearts or minds as long as we hold offenses and grudges - it isn't the other guy's heart or mind affected as much as it is our own! Our Lord was quick to remind us there is a need to be alert, because grudges are easier to hold onto than we expect. Forgiveness may mean we erase a 'debt' - something we think we are 'owed' in a situation - but it is that very 'debt' that will hold us captive.

Forgiveness isn't a one time deal anymore than grace is! You and I need God's grace poured into our lives daily (and most of us need it moment by moment). Why would we believe forgiveness would just be a one time deal? People will fail us - more than once. They will say things harshly and not really mean to. They will forget to do something they promised and never even know they did. They will cross lines we have drawn in the sand, not maliciously, but without much awareness the line even existed. Forgiveness involves us not seeing each and every failure as a cumulative matter, but seeing each one as a new opportunity to forgive and restore.

We may find ourselves in the place where that individual is getting on that 'last nerve' today - we need a 'nerve blocker' of sorts! Prayer can be a great place to start. It doesn't mean we have to get down on our knees, fold our hands, and recite some words of sorts. It might just mean we need to shoot up a few words silently without even uttering one solitary word audibly. I call those 'arrow prayers' - those momentary requests to God where I am relying on him to show me how to respond, what I can do or say that will diffuse that 'tension' between the other and myself. If I am to be honest here, God rarely shows me how to change the other person's actions - he shows me quickly how I can change mine! Heart (mind, will, and emotions) control isn't a science - it is a reliance upon God's grace in the moments where we need it most. Just sayin!

Yeah, you may be right, but...

If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love. (Matthew 18:15)

Do you know what strikes me the most from this passage? The extreme obsession with 'pursuing' forgiveness and restoration. Let's get honest here - we rarely "go after" forgiveness like it was something to be pursued until we had resolution. If someone tells us to bug off and refuses our intentions to be restored, we may try again, but do we really have this type of tenacity to "offer again" that grace and love time and time again? If you follow this passage, you might just find yourself in a 'cycle' of going, offering, and being rejected - repeatedly! But...God tells us to not give up - instead we are to keep it up!

That's some serious obedience there, my friends. Get rejected once and you may return again to see if it was just a fluke, but get rejected time and time again and you don't want to 'go again'. Why? You see no point in it, do you? The one who has something against you refuses to 'give in', let alone forgive. Most individuals would just walk away from that relationship and see it as 'permanently damaged' by whatever it was that caused the riff in the first place. God's plan is that we never 'walk away', but that we return time and time again - remembering his grace goes way beyond the offense - it goes to the heart.

I am not going to debate this whole take a few witnesses or the church leaders with you in this passage. I really just want us to see that God values relationships - he sees the importance in restoration. Why? We need each other - we need what the other adds to the relationship - even when what they add is OUR growth experience. It isn't about the other person - it is about us. Forgiveness isn't for the wimpy. It takes some tenacity to 'go again' to someone who doesn't seem to want to admit they need it! It also means we have to take some time with Jesus to get over the 'pride' we exhibit from time to time when we don't want to go to the other individual to offer forgiveness.

That is how we grow through the experience - we lay down our pride, time and time again. In time, we learn what Jesus wants here - to value the relationship more than we value 'being right' all the time. If you have ever sought forgiveness when you knew you were 'right' in the matter, you know how hard that can be, but the value of the relationship was so much more important than 'being right' will ever be. Just sayin!

Consider this....not that

What kind of things are you willing to overlook in life? Someone cuts me off in traffic and I tend to just gasp a little, let my blood pressure get back to normal, and then move on. I don't find it necessary to speed up, tail them, and/or flip them a certain finger while shouting expletives my momma would have washed my mouth out for back in the day. Someone eats that last brownie you were counting on having when you settled in to watch your favorite evening show and I tend to get a little bummed because I was 'counting on it', but I don't have a hissy-fit. In all truthfulness, I will probably scour the cupboards and fridge to find an 'alternative' to that chewy, chocolate goodness. We can choose to overlook offenses or we can choose to hold onto them like our last nickel. Which do you choose most of the time? Does the 'severity' of the offense come into question? Let's be truthful here - someone eats your brownie and you can forgive pretty quickly - someone steals your TV and you might just hold onto that one a little longer!

Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend! (Proverbs 17:9)

It was Pope John XIII who said we are to 'see everything, overlook a great deal, and correct a little'. I might just confess to getting this backwards once in a while. Yes, I see everything - I choose to overlook a little - and sometimes I find myself 'correcting' a LOT. William James said, "The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." To overlook an offense is certainly the desired response, but how many times do we struggle with that choice? Probably more than we first admit. To overlook an offense doesn't mean we don't notice it - we see it, but we choose not to dwell on it. When we choose to 'consider' that offense over and over again, we are actually allowing small roots to be created that will ultimately bring about the full harvest of bitterness, regret, and mistrust. So, it is pretty important that we learn to 'see all', but not actively allow those things to get into our 'rumination' pathway!

Some of us will protest the idea of overlooking an offense because we think we were wronged. Let me just take a moment to remind us of the value of not 'regarding' the offense as intentional. I think this is my first reaction to an offense most of the time now. I ask myself if that individual actually intended to hurt me by getting over quickly into my lane, maybe a little closer to my front end than I might have wanted. It is not likely they intended me harm - they just needed to get off at the next exit! I might choose to overlook - to not consider - the quick reply that seemed a little clipped and harsh. I consider where that person is at that moment - are they tired, is their blood glucose low, have they lost sleep because they are concerned over matters that are closing in? God asks us to consider the 'best' in an individual, not the worst. 

I have listened as individuals tell me of an offense and my mind goes to the place of asking how on earth they latched onto that offense of the other and how much time they have spent 'considering' that offense. In truth, I wonder how much of their lives they have wasted 'considering' over and over the offense they have latched onto and made out to be so 'great' in their own minds. Harvey Mackay tells us, "Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities." Mackay is a businessman, so it is likely he was referencing those potential business opportunities, but take this a little further. If we dwell on the 'misfortunes' within relationships, considering them over and over again, we are likely overlooking the opportunities that come when forgiveness is extended in place of that grudge. Just sayin!

Who's better?

You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. I've been out of step with you for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life. (Psalm 51:4-6)

We probably all have a close friend - someone who seems to know most of the "dirt" in our lives - hopefully it is someone you can call your BFF. To be totally transparent here, these "besties", "BFFs", and "best buds" only know us "most of the way", though. There are always some parts of "us" that we honestly believe are kept hidden away from everyone - those really secret things we just hope no one ever learns about us because if they do, we wonder if they will ever be able to love us, much less like us! The only one who really knows us "all the way" is the one who actually created us - God himself. Our 'besties' get really, really close to that level of intimacy, but if we are truthful with ourselves right now, there are things we keep to ourselves simply because we know they are the 'hard things' that make it hard to deal with us. It could be we just need someone to point out those hard places, though.

God has all the facts about us and he still loves us! Now, if that doesn't amaze you even a little, you will miss the rest of what I am about to tell you! David, with a little help from a faithful friend he's likely have called one of his 'friends', comes to the realization of just how much his sin has driven a wedge between him and God. There was something there in his life that needed to be 'pointed out' so God could deal with it and help him overcome. It was likely God's love for David that caused Nathan (the prophet) to bring the message of "conviction" to David. David had wallowed in his sin long enough - Nathan was about to turn the tide for David with the message of forgiveness he would bring him. How does God know the right time, the right method, and the right messenger to send? It always amazes me to know God has that all in his control and he comes through each and every time.

A faithful God provides a faithful friend. Did you ever stop to consider the friend God has placed alongside you for the journey you are on today? In reality, this one may be able to see and know some things about you, but when God is in these friends of ours, they see much more than we might imagine! In the moment of our greatest need, a faithful friend is always willing to point us directly to the source of where our need will be met - Christ! A friend doesn't consider it too much to go out on the line and tell it like it is. Maybe that is one way we know when we have been given a 'real friend' in our lives. David's confession is a hard one for him to make to God, much less have anyone else in humanity know what he has been dealing with. He has been "out of step" with God for a long time. He has let time pass, making the shame and guilt he has experienced about his sin simply mount to almost insurmountable levels. In fact,  he is sinking deeper and deeper into depression. His body aches, he cannot sleep, he feels like his bones are withering away inside. He needs deliverance - and God prepares the messenger - Nathan. The time is right, the message is true, and the messenger has been prepared.

We may not know the exact one God will use to point us in the right direction again when we most need that redirection. The truth remains - God cares too much about us for him to leave us wallowing in our self-pity and sin for very long. He will send a faithful friend - one who will bring the message of forgiveness and restoration we so desperately need. Whenever we are faced with the choice between self-pity and total restoration, the choice should be simple, right? But...how many times do we reject the words of restoration simply because we don't "feel" forgiven? David said it well, "What you are after is truth from the inside out." How this is accomplished is in the very next sentence: "Enter me and conceive a new life - one that is true." No amount of self-help will do what God intends to do himself. The faithfulness of Nathan's message of forgiveness opens David's heart to the possibility of God's touch. Change is possible - but it will require the exchange of our self-pity for this truth of forgiveness. 

As long as we "wallow", we never allow God to enter into us afresh. Self-pity is really just doubt disguised in some way that means we really doubt God's willingness to forgive us and our inability to move beyond the consequences of our sin. When we "wallow", we are moving kind of clumsily, floundering about as best we can, but never really enjoying the journey. When we yield our "wallowing", we find deliverance. A faithful friend opened the door for David to realize the fact he needed God to "enter him" - taking over his doubt and self-pity, erasing his guilt, eliminating his shame, and righting him on solid ground. It is not so much about us "entering" into God - it is much more about God entering into us! We often get this backward - we want to wash away our own guilt and shame. God reminds David (through a faithful friend) - the washing is HIS business! In entering in, God makes all things new. Figures, doesn't it - the Creator knows the creation best! Who can make "new" better than the one who made it in the first place? Just askin!

It is never too late

It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness. There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel. (Henry B. Eyring)

I want Mr. Eyring's words to speak to us today. It is never too late - to repent, to forgive, to thank someone, to serve, to life up another. I know a great many struggle with the idea they have gone too far, done too much, been too bad in their judgment  - it is too late in their eyes to seek or find forgiveness. Nothing could be further from the truth - grace wins each and every time.

All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn’t, and doesn’t, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life—a life that goes on and on and on, world without end. (Romans 5:20-21)

Sin didn't - that is historical - in the past. Sin doesn't - that is here and now - the present. Sin doesn't have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace - that is then, now, and in the future! All the enemy of our souls can do is 'threaten us' with death - but even death isn't him winning - because in death, we are with Christ in eternal life. Sin has no hold - so stop thinking you are 'beyond' forgiveness. 

Sin doesn't want us to let go of the grudges we hold so closely in our hearts. It wants us to keep holding on, to not relinquish control. That is exactly what forgiveness does, my friends - it relinquishes our right and desire to control another. In truth, we don't control them - that lack of forgiveness on our part is us being controlled by our bitterness and unwillingness to let go of the wrongs done to us. 

Sin didn't want us to repent and seek forgiveness - it liked having the upper hand in our lives. God's hand is stronger than any sin or control it might try to exert in us. There is nothing too hard for God - breaking those bonds to sin is his business - letting go of them is ours. There is nothing too hard to break free of, but if we hold on for dear life to what has sucked the life from us, we are holding onto the wrong things.

When it's sin versus grace - grace wins hands down - not once, but every time! That individual may not 'deserve' forgiveness, but we don't 'deserve' the grace we have received in Christ Jesus, either. That thing we hold onto because it seems to hard to let go of isn't any match when it comes face-to-face with Jesus and his matchless grace. 

Who do we need for forgive? Let go...it isn't that person we are controlling - we are being controlled by that memory of the 'injustice' done to us. Who do we need to thank? Let's get to it...those words of thanks could be the beginning of something great in that individual's life - for those words could be the spark of life they need right now. What do we need to lay down - to repent and seek forgiveness for in our own lives? It is easier to see the speck in our brother's eye than the log in our own sometimes, but until we lay down the log, we aren't any good at helping anyone else with the speck they are burdened with right now. Just sayin!

Debtor's Prison

Life is an adventure in forgiveness. 

(Norman Cousins)

I came across this little quote the other day and it made me think about all the ways forgiveness is both needed and given. If you are like me, your first thoughts gravitate toward 'who' we need to forgive and 'what' the offense was that required the forgiveness in the first place. We usually think about others when we begin to think upon forgiveness - someone that has done or said something that has hurt us, bringing harm to us either intentionally or completely without any ill will at all. I wonder...just how many times do we think of the 'who' in this business of forgiveness as ourselves? You know what...you and I need to forgive ourselves, too. We hold ourselves in a position of 'debtors' way too often - unwilling to forgive our own trespasses! All that does is keep us on the hamster wheel of trying to find a way to get out of 'debtor's prison'!

Who can see his own mistakes? Forgive my sins that I do not see. And keep Your servant from sinning by going my own way. Do not let these sins rule over me. Then I will be without blame. And I will not be found guilty of big sins. Let the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing in Your eyes, O Lord, my Rock and the One Who saves me. (Psalm 19:12-14)

Our own mistakes can sometimes be hard for us to see, but trust me on this one - God will expose them to us if we cannot see them ourselves! When he does, the first thing we should do is call upon him for mercy and in so doing, find not only forgiveness from him, but embrace forgiveness in ourselves. Instead, we might settle into that cursory prayer of 'God, forgive me', but then walk around with a load of guilt upon our shoulders that eventually finds its way into our hearts and minds. That load of guilt isn't supposed to be there. All guilt is supposed to exist for in our lives is to help us head back to the foot of the cross for the absolute and complete forgiveness we will receive there!

Forgiving ourselves is much harder than forgiving someone else, isn't it? I think we can release others from debtor's prison much quicker than we will allow ourselves to be freed - even when the door has been left wide open for us! Christ paid the debt already - our guilt isn't going to 'repay' the debt because it has already been paid. Our minds have a way of repeatedly accusing us of our failures and faults. Amazingly, we find ourselves rehearsing the 'debt' over and over again - almost as though we could somehow find a way to repay it. News Flash: YOU cannot repay your debt for sin - only CHRIST did that!

So, how do we forgive ourselves? It begins by asking God to forgive us for being so presumptuous so as to think we could not be forgiven for our sins. You read that correctly - we are being very presumptuous to think our sin is something that shouldn't or couldn't be forgiven - something we have to hold onto and somehow find a way to 'repay'. We assume a debt we cannot repay, but it has already been fully paid - what is more ridiculous than that? God doesn't want us bound up in our sin's guilt - so he made a way for us to be free of that guilt, but we have to let it go if we are to be free of it. We have to leave that 'cell' in the debtor's prison through the open door he has provided. Just sayin!

The possibility of today

Did you ever stop to think just how practical the Bible really is? It lays out sound advice on how to make financial decisions such as the borrower becoming slave to the lender, so don't be frivolous in your spending (Proverbs 22:7). We find instruction on how to have a solid family life such as how much it takes to build a household and the depth of understanding required to set them all on a firm foundation (Proverbs 24:3). We also find warnings of things we should avoid because they will be our "undoing" - things like not interfering with a good person's lives as it may end up with us falling flat on our face (Proverbs 24:15-16). Yet, there are many questions we just don't seem to find the easy or "straight" answers for in those pages. Jesus spent about three years teaching his disciples as he made his way to the cross. In that period of time, he laid out all kinds of truth for them. Some of it stumped the crowds, but the disciples usually got what he was teaching. Other times, the disciples were just as bewildered as the crowds! Peter finds the courage to ask a question which had probably been "niggling" at him for a while. I think Jesus likes it when we are honest with him about the things we question or don't understand fully.

At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)

You know Peter was probably pretty proud of himself with suggesting that he go beyond forgiving his brother or sister just ONE time and extending this forgiveness to the seventh offense. I can just see him now (probably because I can see a little of myself in Peter) - kind of looking around at his peers, all delighted with his "spiritual insight" into how much God "values" forgiveness. Then, as quickly as he asks the question and suggests this answer, Jesus bursts his bubble! Imagine his surprise when Jesus announces, "Nope, how about 490 times, Peter?" Now, don't read more into this than what Jesus intended. He was not suggesting a literal number, so as for us to keep a little tally book indicating how many times we had forgiven an individual - then when they reach the "point of no return" they are cut off from our forgiveness forever. Jesus was showing Peter (and us) the infinite side of God's forgiveness. He was suggesting the principle of being long-suffering. Some of us might want to translate this as "suffering long". Jesus was suggesting the idea of enduring injury, trouble, or provocation long AND patiently. When we are faced with injury - we have a tendency to not want to experience that too often or for very long! When involved in trouble at the hand of another - we want to give a little of it back to them! When provoked - it takes everything inside of us to not respond with some type of anger! True? I don't think I am in this alone - I have a whole lot of companions who struggle with this whole idea of forgiving much and often.

In fact, we want to have some "finite" point when we just say, "You just hit my last nerve and no more 'Mr. Nice Guy'. From now on, you better watch your back!" How do we get to the point of being 'enduring' in our forgiveness? I am not sure I know all the answers here, but if we look at this scripture in context, you will see it comes just after Jesus has answered another question for the disciples. The question posed, "Who gets the highest position in your kingdom, Jesus?" His answer was an object lesson. He takes a small child from the crowd, holds him close and then begins to teach the disciples about the importance of seeing things in God's kingdom through the eyes of a child. He starts with the concept of "starting over". Not just any arbitrary point of starting over, but he tells them to return to square one and start over like small children (vs. 2-5). He points them back to the elementary things in life - the simple, or rudimentary stuff. What is a small child like? Aren't they curious, willing to explore new things, seeing things for the first time through eyes of wonder? I think Jesus may have just been referring to this way of viewing things as God views them - with a willingness to explore them the way we have never explored them before - through the eyes of wonder! He is probably saying it is important for us to get the basic stuff before we try to move onto the harder stuff! There is an "order" to learning - both physically and spiritually.

They are trusting. It is a simple trust - uncomplicated with all the stuff we tend to "build trust" upon as adults. They don't keep an "account" - to them, the "history" doesn't matter as much because each day brings a new chance to start over. Think back to being a small child - didn't you start fresh each day? You awoke, did your few chores, then charged out into the yard to find your friends. Before long, you'd be in a game of tag, or running cars through dirt roads you'd created with your hand in some imaginary "town". If you had a falling out over some particular toy, or who'd be the leader in some imaginary game of war, tomorrow would bring a new day. Jesus adds to his teaching about the child, telling the disciples (and us) to not expect hard times will never come - in fact, when they come, he warns us to not make them worse by holding onto the things we'd like to be angry and bitter about. Maybe this is how we are expected to model forgiveness. Perhaps Jesus was suggesting more about how we don't allow the stuff from yesterday to muddle up our today than he was us keeping an account of offenses. To Peter's question (and to ours) he simply points to the child. In learning to face the new day with the wide-eyed wonder of a child, maybe we will see less of the offense of yesterday and more of the possibility of today. Each new day is a day of wonder when it is squarely placed in God's hands! Just sayin!

A well-worn path

We all probably have heard some variation of the 'confession is good for the soul' terminology. The fact of the matter is that it is one of the most powerful 'actions' we take on behalf of our soul that actually begins to touch the souls of those around us. Being able to own up to your mistakes is hard, but there comes a time when the soul is changed by one simple confession. There is nothing that binds two people together in a more committed manner than being able to confess one's mistakes to the other. Too many times, we hold out for the other to come to the place of admitting they were wrong before we will take even one step in that direction. When we choose to do this, we alienate ourselves from that which will bring health to our own lives. It is in confession that we find healing. The first place of healing is at the foot of the cross - in confession we find deliverance. The next place we may need to make confession is at the feet of a friend - for in confession, we find wholeness in the relationship is restored.

"This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God. Or say you're out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don't lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him. After all, if you leave the first move to him, knowing his track record, you're likely to end up in court, maybe even jail. If that happens, you won't get out without a stiff fine." (Matthew 5:23-26)

Jesus is talking about making the "first" move. Whenever you have knowledge that you have offended, or that the other feels that you have offended them, it is your responsibility to make the first move toward reconciliation. Sometimes we think that we did nothing wrong and in actuality, when the facts are examined, we probably didn't have much to do with the thing that now drives a wedge between us! But...the other person interpreted something you said or did as offensive to them. It was a very difficult thing for me to actually learn that I was responsible for the way others perceive me. I wanted to believe how they saw me was their problem - not mine. After all, if it was their problem, then I didn't need to do anything to 'fix' the problem!

It is in my actions, words, or lack of these, that you form an impression of me. You "perceive" me as kind, caring, and a joy to be around, OR you see me as meddlesome, overbearing, and a pain to be associated with at all. The way I "come across" is my doing - it is my responsibility! Sometimes, we don't do such a good job at putting our best effort into being our best in relationship. Whenever this happens riffs are apt to occur. Jesus gave us the picture of being at the altar, ready to offer a sacrifice of worship, and realizing that a "riff" had occurred. His instruction: Leave the sacrifice (abandon what you are doing) and beat a path to the doorway of the one you have offended - the sacrifice matters little if there is discontent and misunderstanding in relationship.

Now, for some of us, this "pathway" to the door of the one we have offended may be a little better worn! I have been in relationships where I find that the two of us are just like course sandpaper to each other - constantly rubbing each other wrong. Those "paths" are a little deeper worn than in some of my other relationships. In fact, I "know the way" without even looking - simply because I have made my way to them often enough that the way is familiar to me. At first, it was very awkward and uncomfortable. Now, it is a little easier, but no less important! If we are always waiting for the other to make the first move, we may wait a long, long time. In that passage of time, the mind and heart has a chance to "formulate" all kinds of imagined reasons for why the relationship will never work again. It is that very passage of time that Jesus was focusing on us avoiding. He even says that worship is not more important than making things right when an offense exists. It matters that much to him to see us living well with each other!

We are not "overlooking" an offense and just letting someone get by with something. Instead, we are coming together to "settle the differences" - making a clean slate of things. Sometimes, it means we both confess we were wrong - at other times, it may only be one of us that comes to the place of confession. It does not have to be both of us realizing the error in our ways to bring reconciliation - it only takes one of us making the move! In time, God will do the rest. In the times of open dialogue within relationship, confession plays an important part in the destruction of "dividing walls" that serve to drive us far apart. That 'well-worn' path is not a bad thing, but remember - as important as the pathway is, avoiding the need to use it at all is something we should learn over time! Just sayin!

Rocks raining down

Stephen - a man appointed by the disciples to be a "deacon" in the church, 'shows' us what it is to really serve. In his role as deacon, he was given the responsibility to make sure the widows, orphans, and poor were cared for. His role as deacon allowed the first century disciples to go on with their work of spreading the gospel message to those who had not heard the 'good news' as of yet - preaching, healing the sick, and sharing the good news that Christ was raised from the dead. His ministry, although some would think it quite insignificant to be a deacon, gained him some momentum and there were people who were a little "miffed" because they could not match his wisdom, level of service, or commitment.

Stephen, brimming with God's grace and energy, was doing wonderful things among the people, unmistakable signs that God was among them. But then some men from the meeting place whose membership was made up of freed slaves, Cyrenians, Alexandrians, and some others from Cilicia and Asia, went up against him trying to argue him down. But they were no match for his wisdom and spirit when he spoke. (6:8-10)

There will always be those who oppose truth - it is inevitable to have some who will want to discredit those who follow truth closely. The whole crux of the 'men from the meeting place's' dislike of Stephen was that they were no match for his wisdom and the spirit that was evident in his life when he spoke wasn't quite as evident in theirs. That is a pretty awesome testimony, if you ask me - to have so much of Christ evident in you that others are convicted because they don't. Stephen had a testimony - even in his role as a deacon in the church. That testimony spoke volumes - and it drew some attention - right up to the leaders, priests, and Pharisees. Why? The testimony of a well-lived life doesn't hold a match to a 'religious' life.

Stephen was taken into custody by the High Council of the land - those religious leaders who were appointed to judge the crimes of the people. He was in custody, not for speaking the truth, but because those who could not match his wisdom cooked up a scheme to "shut him down" - convicted by his message and shamed by his life's testimony. As I read the story of Stephen, I am reminiscent of the similar response to Jesus' testimony as he walked this earth - there were always pockets of people wanting to "shut him down". Truth convicts - it makes people uncomfortable. Many cannot handle the truth - so instead of embracing the conviction, they seek to silence the voice that brings it.

As Stephen stood before the High Council, they found they could not take their eyes off him (Acts 6:15). There is something dynamic about a life on fire for Jesus. There is a radiance of the presence of God that captures the attention of even the unbelieving. I laugh at the question they pose to Stephen: "What do you have to say for yourself?" At that, Stephen begins to open the Word of God to them. He did not "defend" himself - but rather, he let the Word of God speak volumes more than he could ever speak in his own defense. At the end of it all, he speaks the words that cut to the core of the hearts of those who look to silence him - "And you continue, so bullheaded! Calluses on your hearts, flaps on your ears! Deliberately ignoring the Holy Spirit, you're just like your ancestors." Bullheaded, calloused hearts, and ears that just will not hear. Ignorant to the move of the Holy Spirit occurring all around them. Just like their ancestors. Ouch! God had spoken similar words on many occasions to the nation of Israel - reminding them that if they would turn their hearts to him, forsaking the ways of the culture around them, and seek him with all their hearts, he'd restore them and make them whole as a nation.

This time, the words produced a reaction that was similar to the reaction of the crowd the day Jesus was crucified - hissing, violent words with riotous behavior emanated from the crowd gathered. The crowds did not know what to do with the conviction they felt - so they reacted as so many do - in anger. Anger is often an attempt to cover over whatever points out our weakness. Their response was to attempt to silence what he said - if not by their loud and confrontational voices - then with their actions. They drug him outside the city and stoned him. All because he spoke the truth! The story does not end there though - God gets the last word! Stephen saw heaven opened - he beheld the radiance of God's glory and it was evident on Stephen's face. It says that as the "rocks rained down" from his attackers, he lifted his eyes to heaven and beheld the face of God. In the midst of "rocks raining down" on us, would that be our response? Would we look upward and see through the hostility around us the beauty of the face of God. In beholding the face of God, he gives his very breath to God and in his dying words, he asks God to overlook the sin of this crowd. He petitions God, "Don't blame them for their sin." Nope, this is not a natural response of a man being stoned to death. This is definitely a response that stems from a heart of compassion - a heart made pliable through the touch of the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness is only truthfully possible within the hearts of those who recognize the value of the forgiveness they have received in Christ. Stephen might have had a testimony that was great in all the "work" he did in his local church. His life spoke volumes in the "deeds" of caring for the poor. His teaching was "spot on" when he opened the Word to share the truths within. But...what spoke the loudest was his ability to forgive even when his offenders did not seek forgiveness! Stephen left a legacy. His legacy was that of forgiveness. Not a bad legacy to leave, huh? Just askin!

Oh, listen, then do! I get it!

The Golden Rule - I even have a ruler with the words printed on it! This is one of the most common 'rules' of the Bible, often repeated by many an individual who has no idea they are quoting scripture! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Did you ever stop to consider how Jesus opens this statement? If you look closely, you will notice he says these words to anyone who is listening - really listening to what he has to say. The beginning point of all teaching in our  lives begins with listening - then it moves into the doing part. Sometimes we get this backward and attempt to do before we hear!

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:27-30)

Jesus is speaking these words - the setting or timing of when they were spoken is important to understand.  He is under attack from those who should be shouting in praise of his works.  The Pharisees see him "mixing with" common sinners and criticize him terribly, publicly ridiculing him for the company he keeps. Rather than celebrating that he is reaching out to those in the greatest need, they criticize his choice of friends. He is criticized for his timing in doing what he is doing. He heals on the Sabbath - seen by his critics as a "work" by those of Rabbinical teaching. Their hearts are so "into" the rule-keeping (doing) that they fail to see the needs right before them (listening). He has just finished the appointment of his twelve disciples - calling them to be his closest companions during the ministry he performed on this earth - something we should not gloss over as we look at his timing in speaking these words.

There is one thing I have learned over the years - if we are prepared for the journey, the path is easier to travel. It is when we are unprepared to travel where it is we are called to travel that we struggle with the pathway we are on. At the very beginning of his ministry, Jesus deals with one of the most difficult "roads" that any of his disciples must walk - the road to forgiveness. Why does he begin with this teaching? I believe it is because Jesus wanted his disciples to know that they'd find themselves walking it over and over again. He wanted them to be prepared for a very long journey. The journey would involve many opportunities to put into practice the principles they were being taught - hearing, then doing.

Oftentimes, forgiveness is a journey we'd rather not travel alone, but we often find ourselves as the only ones realizing that the journey is necessary. We recognize that there is the need to forgive - bringing restoration into a damaged relationship - but we feel as though we are the only ones traveling the road. Those who may have committed the offense may not even realize that they play a part in the journey. It is important to remember we NEVER walk the path alone - Jesus is alongside each step of the way - even when the ones involved in the offense are unaware the journey has even begun. It is a road that must be traveled frequently - over and over until the journey is completed. Jesus was asked by one of his disciples just how many times he must forgive. He posed a question and suggested an answer that seemed quite generous - seven times was his proposal. To that, Jesus answered, "Naw, seventy times seven....", and at that answer, jaws dropped. Forgiveness extended over and over - until it is complete.

It is an uninvited pathway - we don't forgive just because another asks us to travel that path with them - we initiate the journey, often without anyone else realizing the journey has begun. This is quite evident in Jesus' words to his Father on the day of his death, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Those who needed his deepest forgiveness did not seek it - in fact, they did not even know they needed it. Our offenders often don't seek forgiveness - ours is the path to them - we take the first steps. It is an unconditional and costly journey. There is no "trip insurance" with the assurance that your "investment" will be fully enjoyed and participated in by all who take the journey. There are no "conditions" under which the journey can be "refunded" if the destination is not reached by all involved in the offense. In other words, we pay the price - others enjoy the benefit - often without realizing the price that was paid.    

So, although it is a difficult road to travel - it is a necessary one. Jesus began his ministry with his disciples revealing this much needed lesson of life. Forgiveness begins with us taking the first step. Forgiveness is possible only because of the first step taken. Do unto others...we call this the "golden rule" by which we are to relate to one another. Easier said than done. It is a difficult path to walk, but the rewards of the journey are astronomical. There is nothing more binding than bitterness. There is nothing more weighing upon us than a load of unforgiveness. There is nothing more costly to us than forgiveness that is not sought, or is not "deserved", but which is given freely from a listening heart. 

There is nothing more freeing than unconditional forgiveness - taking the first step. There is nothing more enlightening than seeing the other person through the eyes of Christ. Equally, there is nothing more rewarding than the steps you take toward your offender. A tough journey at that, but a necessary one! Walk on!