Not so wise on my own

Surrounding yourself with the right people brings you much success in life. When we choose our "circle" well, we find ourselves being influenced to move in directions which increase our "value" in some way. Choose the wrong "circle" and we might not realize quite the same increase in "value". There is but one place we find our unique value and that is when we look fully into the face of Jesus. Yet, our relations here on earth can either build us up, or tear us down. Those which build us up have a way of adding "value" by our association; those which tear us down actually take away "value" by that association. The latter erode away at our confidence, play upon our insecurities, and reinforce our fears. It is much better to surround ourselves with those who don't resist correction in their own lives - showing by example what it is like to embrace even the hard lessons so that steps can be reordered to ensure a right path is followed. It is also important to surround ourselves with those who think about others - revealed in their willingness to lay down their own desires for the benefit of another. This is what I mean about our relations "lending value" to our lives - the right ones make all the difference in ways that encourage our growth rather than tearing us down or apart!

All who refuse correction will be poor and disgraced; all who accept correction will be praised. It’s a good feeling to get what you want, but only a stupid fool hates to turn from evil. Wise friends make you wise, but you hurt yourself by going around with fools. (Proverbs 13:18-20)

We all have the ability to refuse correction - leading us to places in life where we feel like grace is far from us. We see walls closing in around us because of choices we have made and it almost frightens us to no end. We feel "disgraced" - like we have lost a place of honor and now must deal with our shame over the matter. Choices in relationship make all the difference with not only putting us in those compromising situations, but in helping us bounce back if we have compromised! I know my best friend speaks life into my steps, not death. She might not mince her words at times, but I need her to be this forthright with me because when she is, I can see where it is I am out of step with what God wants in my life. Disgrace is actually a "place" in our emotional make-up where we feel like we have lost favor. Good relationships help us to never lose sight of the fact we never lose favor in God's eyes - we can always find new grace in his presence. Refusing correction assures us we will "lose" something - because honor is impacted when we are refusing grace. We stand in a place of "honor" because of what grace has done in our lives. Without the grace of God extended into and over our lives, we'd stand in a place of dishonor. With it, we are exalted beyond our wildest imaginings!

Having the wrong relationships can end up in us seeking what is natural for us to seek - everything which meets our fancies, builds up our selfish desires, and leads to us being the ones fulfilled in the moment. Having the right relationships can keep us from being so self-centered! We may "want" a lot of things in life, but the one thing we need is solid relationships. We don't want to find ourselves walking this pathway alone, or worse yet, with the wrong traveling companions! What God wants is for us to surround ourselves with others who know the grace of God in their own lives and lean into that grace each and every day. Those who thumb their noses at God's grace are dangerous companions to place in your circle. Two things we all need in this life:  God's grace and good companions who also understand his grace. Two things which will leave us wanting in this life:  Being so full of our own self-worth we don't see the need for finding our value in Jesus and being so unwise in our choices as to think things, position, or power give us "worth" in life.  

Wise friends make us wise. The first relationship we all need to "get right" is the one we have with Jesus. When this is the primary focus in life, we soon find the other relationships we have begin to matter in ways we might not have seen before. We will also recognize those that don't lend value, not because they aren't good people, but because they draw us away from grace and toward foolishness. Foolish people will drive us toward foolish action. If we want to make better decisions in life, it often begins with changing those we have in our circle of influence. Why? We are influenced by their actions and they by ours. We need the right influences if we are to even come remotely close to making less "foolish" decisions in life. Just sayin!

We need more than a bellhop

The person who shuns the bitter moments of friends will be an outsider at their celebrations. (Proverbs 14:10) Walter Winchell reminds us: "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." Do you have this kind of a friendship with anyone? If you do, count yourself blessed; if you don't, it is high time you ask God to bless you with one! A true friend will never shun your bitter moments - they will love you through them. Yes, I said "through them" because that friend will not abandon you to your folly or your grief.

"True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing." (Baltasar Gracian) Multiplied blessings don't come because we 'do life' alone - they come because we do life in communion with one another. God never asked or expected his kids to walk alone, so why is it we are trying so hard not to let anyone see who we really are, where our hurts and hang ups exist?

I think it could be a matter of pride - we think if others see our 'real self' they will not want to be part of our lives for very long. There is something my BFF reminds me about now and again that we all need to hear: "We all come with baggage." Baggage in the form of hurt emotions, disappointments because life didn't work out as we planned, or even the fears that hold us back from pursuing life as God desires for each of us. Regardless of who we are, how 'put together' we may seem - we all have baggage! Get over trying to hide that baggage - it actually needs to be 'unpacked', not hidden!

We all come with a variety of complex emotional 'stuff' that needs to be 'worked through', don't we? If you cannot see it, maybe someone else can and that is why we need each other. We actually help one another 'unpack' that baggage so we can finally get rid of the suitcase of emotional garbage we have been carrying around for years and years - sometimes our whole lifetime. We can give our baggage to a bellhop, but he will not unpack it. 

He carries for us for a while, but he doesn't actually help us be rid of the baggage. A friend actually helps us do more than carry the bag - they help us know when and where it should be emptied. Then they come alongside and help us sort out all the stuff we have in that bag! We don't need the baggage - we need the freedom that comes from finally uncovering what we have hidden within the recesses of those 'bags'. Just sayin!

I need you - today and always

Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God’s Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. Now...Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person. Don’t be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. Care about them as much as you care about yourselves and think the same way that Christ Jesus thought... (Philippians 2:1-5 CEV)

I don't deal with ambiguity very well, because I think life should have clear direction. Ambiguity is the uncertainty of meaning or intention - the purpose is simply unclear. Where there is lack of clarity, I seek it out. This is my nature - I "uncover" what is not said, or what doesn't immediately reveal itself - the implied or intended meaning. Much of my difficulty with ambiguity comes in not knowing the intent of something. When we are dealing with ambiguity for a long period of time, we often need some encouragement and comfort to get through those times. No one encourages and comforts as Jesus does in quite the same way when the intent of something is not fully known!

Something happens when God's people come together in unity - there is a mutual encouragement which occurs. One bolsters the faith of another - helping each other face the ambiguous spots in life with just a little more energy. When God's kids rally around each other in the times of uncertain intent, the love of God begins to invade the spaces where uncertainty exists. In those moments, intent may not be fully understood, but the value of our community in which we are united shines through! This is why we need each other - because we cannot face ambiguity alone!

Count on Christ's encouragement - giving us a little stimulation where we most need it. It stimulates us deep within to hold on, press forward, take the first step. Without that encouragement what happens? We simply don't move forward when we should, and we often move without a plan or purpose whenever we do step forward. If understanding intent is so important to us, then taking steps without understanding is hard! What we need is someone to give us the thumbs up and tell us it is okay to take that first step. This is what Christ does for us - sometimes one-on-one in our meditation time with him - other times through the mouths of those he has brought us into companionship with. Either way, he sends the stimulation we need to not be paralyzed by the ambiguity life has put in our path.

Rely upon God's love - it carries us when we are lacking courage in the midst of the ambiguous spaces in life. I have a particularly close friend who does this quite often for me - oftentimes without even knowing she does it. In those times of uncertainty, sometimes all I need is a little bit of her humor, or a hug to let me know all will be well in the midst of the present struggle. God's love is understood in appreciating all the blessings he gives into our lives - but it is especially understood when his love is spoken through another deeply into the fibers of our being. In the expression of compassion, exuberance of enthusiastic agreement, or the solemnity of chastisement, we find the love of God expressed in the lives of those he has placed us in fellowship with.

Listen to his uniting Spirit - there is nothing worse than dealing with life's ambiguous moments or seasons all alone. God's uniting Spirit brings us together with those who can help us to walk through them and come out stronger on the other side! God sends his Spirit to unite us with others - establishing us in community so we don't wander into places of deeper uncertainty, or wither under the constant barrage of unknown intent. We all need intent, so God places us in the company of others who can help us discover the intent in ways we had no power to consider on our own. We need each other, my friends, to break through places of ambiguity in our lives. Just sayin!

Life Hack #2 - Choose Your Company

Life Hack #2:

Embrace these life hacks, and it may be safe to say our foundation will be one of trust - not in ourselves, but in God himself. They help to hold us accountable for our actions and attitudes. The company we keep, as well as the company we don't keep, makes a huge difference in the choices we make in life. "Life Hack #1" dealt with our attitude toward the 'poor and needy' - how we interact within the "boundaries" of Christian love or not. "Life Hack #2" focuses on those we associate with the most. Why is this important? Wrong relationships are as dangerous as wind is to fire. Pick the wrong ones to engage with and you will find your world set on fire, but not a fire you can control!

Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious—don’t get infected. (Proverbs 22:24-25)

Angry people make life miserable for others, don't they? Anger is an emotion with overwhelming potential to destroy both in word and deed. Words spoken in haste, without forethought, aimed at hurting another will leave lasting scars. Words spoken in a rage of anger, not really aimed at anyone, but spoken nonetheless, have just as much potential to leave scars because we never know who will latch onto them and take them as a "truth" they will hold onto about themselves, their work, or their abilities. The emotion of anger is more than a simple "feeling" - it may include an outburst, or vindictive twist. It is not always measurable, nor is it quickly identified before it has a chance to affect those in its path.

If you have ever been around testy people, you might have recognized how easily you were caught up into the "testy" attitude. It was probably because it made you a little uneasy to be around them. Be around it long enough and it may become you agreeing more and more with the things which set them off. Bad attitudes have a tendency to rub off onto others - infecting them with their poison. This is the reason we are warned to avoid hanging out (keeping regular company) with those who have an issue with anger and the resulting outbursts. Unfortunately, anger turns us inward, but it directs its "flow" outward. Anger is often a result of perceiving your rights have been violated - someone has not respected your space, they've invaded your "territory". 

You may begin to feel like people take you for granted - not appreciating you. You have turned inward - it is all about you. In time, you might even begin to express this feeling of being taken for granted in short jabs toward another, rehearsing the times they have done you wrong, and even taking shots with sarcasm. Little by little, you begin to nurse your feelings of being wronged. In time, these feelings (validated by your own rehearsal of events) take on a life of their own - expressed often in outbursts (turning outward). From mothers everywhere: "Don't hang out with the wrong crowd - they will corrupt good morals!" Anger has so much volatility associated with it, so it becomes a destructive emotion almost without warning. Associating with those who are given to such volatility is dangerous ground to trod. 

If you don't end up injured yourself, you will eventually become what you associate with! Then you will be the one so inwardly focused that all your outward actions are harsh, brutally unkind, and just plain miserable to be around. Emotions are real - we cannot deny them. We need to "hang with" those who will help us to reveal our emotions in reasonable, upright, and consistent ways. Those we choose as our closest relationships - those we "frequent" most often - will go a long way in helping us develop reasonableness in our emotions. Hotheads need to realize how they drive those away who may have their greatest potential to change their life. Just sayin!

Innumerable pixels

If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both. (I John 4:20-21)

It can be hard work to really get into any relationship - from our relationship with Christ to the one with our cubicle mate at work. If you haven't figured it out yet, Christianity is not something you "live out" alone - you actually do much better in your growth when it is shared in relationship with another. We "sharpen" each other by the various things we each lend to the relationship. It is the "differences" we each possess that actually make each relationship so important - for it is in the "differences" where we learn to "walk out" our Christian faith. Immaturity demands everybody be just like who we are - maturity recognizes the differences actually allow people to grow. The sooner we learn to appreciate the differences in each other, the sooner we are open to learning FROM each other. It is not just "what" another person is that makes them different, it is "where" they are in their life experiences, too. The "what" is the make-up of their personality or temperance - the "where" is made up of the relationship characteristics they bring into the mix because of their own personal struggles and strengths. God accepts us just as we are, and soon we begin to acknowledge his work in our lives at exactly the right moment. We should be exhibiting just as much acceptance of the other person in our lives - because we are examples of his love. When begin to interact with others on a different level - not from a self-absorbed, self-focused level, but one which is much deeper because it looks beyond the stuff people so often focus on in relationships which is nothing more than surface deep.

We may come to a place where the "what" of another person's make-up will kind of get on our nerves. If they are in a place where they are struggling, we might just get impatient with them. If they fail us because of where they are at in their own growth experience, we get disappointed. There is nothing that squelches relationships quicker than failing to deal with these disappointments or holding onto them until they mount into one mighty big deal. The other person is not equipped to take care of our disappointment - if they were, they wouldn't have disappointed us in the first place! The only one really in a place to deal with our disappointments is God himself. He knows the bigger picture and can help us "re-frame" our own "picture" of the situation, so it comes into better focus. When he does this, we often see our disappointment in a new light, and this helps us let go of it or know exactly how to help the other person. The Bible is a textbook for living - complete with all kinds of instruction and insight into the "stuff" that makes us tick, helps us when we need help the most, and just plain gets us moving when we don't feel like we can take another step. 

People will disappoint, so we have to learn to forgive them and do it quickly. No offense is meant to be held onto. The condition taught in scripture is the "obligation" to forgive, not the "option" to forgive. Forgive as God forgave you - you don't see any option presented there. If you remember an offense, stop what you are doing, go and forgive your brother, then bring your prayers before God - no option there. If we'd learn to forgive a little sooner, we might just save ourselves a whole lot of additional frustration and disappointment! We cannot expect others to do for us what only God can do in our lives. Whenever we elevate someone else to a place of significance in our lives which only belongs to God, we are in danger of having some pretty unrealistic expectations in the relationship. Your fellowman is human - don't expect him to be divine! Don't expect them to fill your emptiness - only God can truly do that. Feelings have to be worked through. The best one to help us with this is God himself - he is able to sort through them and bring us to the crux of the issue in a shorter period of time than we could ourselves. It is in the process of allowing him to walk us through our feelings until we reach a place of being less reliant on them that we come to a place of being able to stop relying on those feelings as a measure of whether things are "okay" or "working" in a relationship. We get focus - feelings muddle our focus - God sorts things out and brings the "innumerable pixels" of relationship issues into focus.

Nothing is more important than knowing we can take things to God. No relationship issue is too small, or too great, for his help. He is concerned with what concerns us. He uses his word and his "children" to speak to us when we most need to sort things out. Don't just rely upon his "children" (fellow believers) to help you sort it out - be intent on learning what the Word has to say about the issues, as well. Jesus is our example of how to work through many relationship issues. He was pretty much treated with every form of contempt; loved by some, hated by others; had an inner circle of close friends, and knew many others as acquaintances; and dealt with the worst of sinners as though they were the most valuable of people in this entire world. Since he already figured this out for us, we might just save ourselves a lot of headaches if we'd just learn to take things to him a little sooner! Just sayin!

Squander no moment

So, my dear friends, listen carefully; those who embrace these my ways are most blessed. Mark a life of discipline and live wisely; don’t squander your precious life. Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me, awake and ready for me each morning, alert and responsive as I start my day’s work. When you find me, you find life, real life, to say nothing of God’s good pleasure. But if you wrong me, you damage your very soul; when you reject me, you’re flirting with death. (Proverbs 8:32-36)

We began to look at this passage yesterday and I would like to focus on the idea of becoming 'nurturing' individuals today. Nurturing carries the idea of protection. We protect what we value most, don't we? I have insurance on my car, not so much because it is the law, but because it gets me too and from everywhere I need to be. To be without it for any length of time, or to lose it completely, would place me in a position of having to walk long distances in the Arizona heat - something not very appealing to me! I "insure" my vehicle because I value the convenience of having this transportation. The insurance is a means of protecting this huge investment. The same is true in every relationship - we invest in, watch over, and insure the existence of it because we have come to value it. It has a "declared worth" in our hearts and minds.

Nurturing speaks to the support and encouragement which is so desperately needed in times of our spiritual, emotional, and even physical growth and development. Relationships require support and encouragement as they move or transition from one level to the next. Nothing is easy as it applies to moving into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God or another individual. Both require much support - both flourish when they are encouraged. We sometimes experience relationship "burnout" because we don't feel the support of another, nor do we sense there is any encouragement from the other to keep pursuing any depth within the relationship. At this point, what we do in our relationships with each other determines whether they will "last" or "split apart". Sometimes the difference is made is the tiniest bit of encouragement - even a glimmer of light is better than nothing at all.

What we have been speaking about today is something we might call relationship development. We want to guard against 'squandering' the life we have been given - including every relationship we have within our life. Focus first on your relationship with God, then on the ones he gives you for that day-to-day support. We cannot be in relationship with anyone if there is any form of arrested development - if development stops, there is a lack of continued growth. In other words, death ensues. Where there is a lack of growth, there will be insufficient "supply" in our storehouses. To ensure "full" storehouses, we must focus on the development and growth of that which results in their "filling". Anything short of watching "for" and "after" those things which really provide for the ultimate "filling" of our storehouses is to neglect some of the greatest opportunities we are afforded. Just sayin!

Be THAT kind of friend

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care—then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. (Philippians 2:1-2)

I revisit this passage frequently because it speaks deeply to me about the kind of friend I want to be to those God has placed in my life and the kind of friends I want to surround my life with, as well. Being in 'community' is important - but the right community is more important. If you have ever been in a relationship that is a bit of a 'drain' on you emotionally, physically, or spiritually - you know that you sometimes wish you could just escape it! Why? It all has to do with the 'drain' - think about what a drain's purpose is - it carries away what is no longer deemed to be necessary, has become dirty, contains waste, and needs emptying. If others are using you as this kind of 'conduit' for their life's miseries, you might just feel a little less than 'refreshed' whenever you are around them!

It is not always the easiest to put ourselves aside and then to step in to help another out, but it is very rewarding. To be entirely truthful here, we all want friends like this, don't we? We want the rewards of friendship, but do we put ourselves into the relationship as much as we expect the other person to put themselves into it? That is a telling question about our relationship 'wisdom' - we sometimes call these 'high maintenance' relationships. The kind of relationships that are pretty much 'one-sided' - it is all about one person in the relationship and the other one is just there to be the 'drain'. While we all need those who will come alongside and help us sort out things from time to time, listening to us intently, and then giving us sage advice, they also need that from us.

Over and above all this is the idea of 'forgetting ourselves' long enough for another to come to the forefront. Imagine how it would be if we are both involved in the relationship with this attitude! It would mean you give a little, receive a little - each of you building the other up, encouraging one another, and leaving each other's 'love tank' just a little fuller because you did! I am privileged to have a BFF that does this for me every time we are together - not just occasionally, but each and every time. Whether it is a vacation together, or we are just sewing in the 'sweat shop', I find my tank filled. If you don't have a similar friend in your life today, perhaps your journey begins by asking yourself what kind of friend you have become to others. Mom always used to tell me to be the kind of friend I wanted. Sage advice and scriptural, too! Just sayin!

Going down....I need you!

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. 

(Arnold H. Glasow)

I've heard it said that it takes a very long time to grow a friend. I wonder how much time it takes to grow a best friend? A true friend that sticks with you through thick and thin - the good and the bad. I like the idea of a true friend getting in our way every time we might be going down a path that we would best leave untraveled. Isn't that what friends do for each other - looking out for the best interests of the other? That kind of friend is hard to find. I would like to suggest it is not that we 'find' a friend like this, but rather that this type of a friendship is 'grown' over time. 

The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, and a wise friend’s timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger. (Proverbs 25:11-12)

The timely reprimand of a friend - we somehow have missed the importance of helping each other remain on the right path in society today. We 'overlook' things right and left - things we should have taken notice of and did not 'feel it was our place'. Whenever we do, we give 'license' to that individual to repeat those actions time and time again. The danger in 'overlooking' something that is harmful within a relationship is the long-term damage that occurs when the wrong path is taken repeatedly. I understand we are to turn the other cheek, but to turn a deaf ear or a blind eye to something we should notice is kind of selfish on our parts.

We sometimes don't feel 'comfortable' getting in the way of someone about to make a really bad move, don't we? Why? It could be we don't feel there is a 'depth' to our relationship that would allow us to put ourselves out there, or perhaps we want to, but we don't know how it will be received. I have heard some 'hard words' from some friends over my lifetime, but if I were totally honest today, I'd have to admit each one of those 'hard words' was spot on! They needed to be spoken and they also needed to be heard. Was it easy for those friends to speak them into my life? Not likely. Was it needed? You betcha!

Someone about to go down a wrong path isn't always aware they are treading on thin ice. They don't know the dangers they are about to face because somehow they have been convinced it is a good idea to head that way in the first place. Do you realize that every lie is 'believable' because there is always some portion of truth in that lie? Don't you think the devil knows that, too? Not every path presented as the 'right one' will truly be the right one for us. A friend who sticks close by will notice when there are 'inconsistencies' - they can oftentimes see the portion that is a lie and that which is the truth. 

Why? They are standing back - observing the bigger picture. Maybe this is why God intends for us to have these good friendships - to give us a broader perspective so we don't stumble into things that we should avoid. Good friendships take a long time to grow, but when they have taken root there is nothing that can separate. Even when we are about to say or do something that we would later regret, they are standing in our path, reminding us of the importance of making the right choice. This type of friend is indeed hard to find. I have mine. How about you?

Let's get stupid together!

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't 'get stupid' with my friends like some may think of 'getting stupid' with their friends. I don't know how you interpret what Emerson said, but in my opinion he was trying to say it is okay for us to be our true selves with those we are able to call true friends. Why is that possible? I think it is because trust has been established and we know it won't be betrayed when we 'bumble' a little around a friend. It is a true blessing to have such a friend - it is a greater blessing to be such a friend!

Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. (Proverbs 18:24 MSG)

Old friends are those we usually refer to as 'true friends' - they have endured the test of time, the challenges of relationship with us, and become our truest companions along some of the toughest journeys. Not all of us have experienced that kind of friendship - not all of us have been that kind of a friend. Yet, it is not too late - for we have the ability to make that connection - to be that connection - as long as we have breath left in us.

"Stupid" is really the word Emerson used to describe someone acting in an unintelligent or careless manner. This can describe us in so many ways, at so many times! The 'senselessness' of some of our words, much less our actions, can sometimes be quite annoying! Yet, the true friend will stick with us even when our words and actions get a little exasperating. I was always told that to have good friends you have to be a good friend. There is very good wisdom in those words!

How do we 'befriend' another? Isn't it through attraction of some sort? We see something in them, or they see it in us, and we are drawn to them. We want to associate with them - because we admire something in them, or we just enjoy their enthusiasm and joy. We make ourselves available in relationship and then we see where it goes. Not every venture into friendship will end up with us having that BFF kind of relationship, but there will be those that rise to the top. When we have these kinds of relationships - we must treasure them well.

To be a good friend, one must be faithful to the relationship. One must treasure the relationship. We do this by not only spending time with each other, but spending time in prayer for each other. There is as much 'behind the scene' work in relationship as there is 'face time'! We need those supportive prayers, and even those prayers that will turn us away from our folly. We treasure most those times when we feel the support of another - even when they lack the ability to 'fix' the issue for us. 

Be a good friend - exemplify the love of Christ in those relationships you have been given. Be a 'grace-giver' where grace is not so much 'deserved' as it is 'needed'. Be a faithful companion - showing you can be trusted to walk alongside another long after others have drifted away. Be a good friend and you will be surrounded with good friends! Just sayin!

A friend - a hand - a hope

There is a newer show on reality TV about people being left alone to survive - but they are given survival items such as fire starter, knife, and sleeping bag. They just have to learn how to build a shelter and survive off the land. The main part of the survival experience is that you are alone, must stay alone, and cannot seek out the other 'survivalists' that are a mile or further away from you. The point is that you are being tested on 'standing alone'. Scripture pretty much discourages trying to stand alone, especially in times of trial and struggle. It is as though these folks are welcoming the extreme loneliness that comes when they don't have contact with others. I have seen them adopt pet field mice in order to have something to talk to and take care of beside themselves! We are created as social beings and attempting to remove ourselves from social contact completely is not well tolerated by our minds, hearts, and spirits!

By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.  (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

By yourself you're unprotected! We are not meant to stand alone - though we may try, we will inevitably fail - if not immediately, somewhere down the road. There is a principle taught from the very beginning of time that we need each other. From the creation story forward, man was not meant to be alone. God observed the struggle Adam had even when surrounded by all manner of living creature in the Garden of Eden and he stated, "It is not good for man to be alone." Don't get me wrong - God does not want us to become reliant on another to do in our lives what he intends to do in our lives. He gives us each other so that we don't walk alone - so our 'emotional tank' gets refilled from time to time and we gather strength from each other's experiences, enjoyments, and revelations.

With a friend you can face the worst! Let me be the first to admit that I have tried my best to "stand alone" in the midst of trial, fearful circumstances, and the worst of times. In the end, I am miserable. I daresay, if you've tried this yourself, you have probably found yourself in the same sad state, too (or you will soon). Oh, you may not realize it, but it's true. Unless you actually walk through something you are personally going through with another individual, you will never see the difference. It wasn't until I reached the point of obedience to God that included letting others into my carefully guarded "space" others called "independence" that I fully realized how miserable it actually was to walk alone.

A three-stranded rope is not easily snapped! Round up a third! Having one close friend is awesome. Having another is priceless! The individuals God brings into our lives add value - some bring talent, others bring time, while still others bring invaluable treasure (love, respect, trust, etc.). Each adds value. Each brings a strength that we did not possess alone. Two strands of yarn tightly entwined makes a significantly stronger piece of yarn - but add the third and it is a cord that brings support, strength, and sweetness to a relationship. So, in the quest for words to encourage you with this morning - I offer these. Be a friend. Embrace a friend. Draw from each other. Encourage each other. Open up to each other. Learn to count on another. Bring another into your trust. Within the cords of that relationship there is strength immeasurable. We are not meant to stand alone. As mom always used to remind me - be a good friend, and you will befriend many a friend. Just sayin!

Evidence of Love - prayer

The return we reap from generous actions is not always evident. 

(Francesco Guicciardini)

Mr. Guicciardini also reminds us, "Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them." These are indeed wise words, for friendship is one of the things once gained acts as both a means to challenge us to move forward, but also gives us the support to take those first steps in the right direction. I am privileged to know good friends, but no matter what you say, there is always going to be one who stands out above the rest. That 'friend' who sticks with you through thick or thin, and even when they cannot be with you, their support is felt because you know you are never far from their thoughts nor out of their prayers for very long! Generous prayers lifted on your behalf, simply spoken from the heart, but with utmost meaning to those who need that support at that moment!

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-11 MSG)

We reap much in prayer, sometimes on behalf of another, sometimes for our own use and benefit. Either way, prayer is a powerful tool when spoken in genuine trust to the one who holds all the answers we ever need. Love flourishes when prayer is the beginning point within relationship - it cannot help but flourish, for prayer is communication with the God of ALL love! God allows our feelings to be expressed - he isn't going to turn away from a genuine heart poured out to him in prayer. Moreover, he is willing to listen to even those prayers we sometimes call "arrow prayers" - those ones 'shot up' in a moment of absolute need, trusting that he hears even those simple requests that pierce the darkness of the moment.

Bountiful fruits are a benefit reaped from living honest lives - lives poured out in sacrifice for each other and in genuine love. We can never deny the bountiful grace of God - for it is ever flowing and ever renewed. Fruit doesn't come just once - it returns season after season - but only to the 'tended vine'. The fruit we bear in relationship with each other is because we have 'tended the vine' of that relationship - communicating need, listening to confessions of deep-seated fears, and then responding by taking those things to the one who meets all needs - God himself. Friendship is nothing without prayer. It is nothing without grace. It is everything when it is based in faith and trust in the one who is greater than all our need combined! Just sayin!

May you have many such jewels

It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help. (Epicurus)

If you have ever read the Proverbs, you will note there are a lot of passages that deal with the friends we keep, ranging from those that remind us to choose them wisely to realizing their strength in times of trouble. I would like to just spend a moment today contemplating just a few of these:

Good people are careful about choosing their friends, but evil people always choose the wrong ones. (12:26 ERV)

Choice of friends is key to both the direction and distance a relationship will travel. If we choose the right friends, they will be on course with where need to be heading, AND they will be with us through the entirety of the journey. We need both - the companionship along the way, but the wisdom and determination to help us make the best choices about the direction we take in life. If we choose wisely, the benefits are astronomical!

Be friends with those who are wise, and you will become wise. Choose fools to be your friends, and you will have trouble. (: ERV)

Conversely, the wrong choice in friends can lead to many a chaotic and unnecessary difficulty in life. When I look for someone to align my life with, I want to consistently choose someone who will "supplement" what I need most - bringing me perspective where I don't already have it. I don't always want to align with those who just "see things my way", because that limits my opportunity to see things differently. It also may not help me realize when the way I see things are contrary to the way God wants me to see them!

Forgive someone, and you will strengthen your friendship. Keep reminding them, and you will destroy it. (17:9 ERV)

We sometimes ruffle each other's feathers in relationship, but it isn't always a bad thing to get a little ruffled on occasion. It teaches us to see another's perspective in life, and the much needed quality of forgiveness done well! When we value the relationship, we learn how to successfully forgive - letting go of offenses and focusing on the extreme value of the relationship over any slight that would threaten to tear us apart.

A friend loves you all the time, but a brother was born to help in times of trouble. (17:17 ERV)

There is no greater help we can have than to know we have someone standing alongside us when we are in the midst of tough or touchy circumstances. What we get from that companionship is labeled as "help" in our passage, but we all realize "help" comes in many different forms. I think there is "help" in words, but also in actions. It comes in the form of a simple look that tells it all, as well as in laughing our way out of failures as we make our way into "trying again".

Some friends are fun to be with, but a true friend can be better than a brother. (18:24 ERV)

The "fun" ones may be the delight of the party, but the "true" one is the one who is there to cry with me, pull me up when I am down, and dust me off when the fall has left me less than "pure or clean". They aren't afraid to go the extra mile, nor are they looking for any "credit" for having done so! To have such a friend is to have what equates to a jewel in your crown! Here's hoping you all have at least one of these jewels in yours! Just sayin!

Written in the heart

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. (Ann Landers)

An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship. 

(Proverbs 24:26 NLT)

As my kids were growing up, we faced all manner of "tragedy" where friends were concerned. One week the "best friend" would not have paid enough attention to the other - the next these "best friends" could be the best of buds. The pendulum swing of friendship almost drove me crazy during their teenage years! The message they heard from me was quite consistent and has not varied down through the years - if they are the type of friend you really want, you will work this out. 

Sometimes we get into a place where true friendships are tested - times when a sideways glance or a word spoken in haste can set in play a wide variety of emotions and unrest. At others, the simple smile or knowing look can tell you there is a connection deeper than words can ever explain. The value of a true friendship is really immeasurable - for it keeps you straight when you want to go astray and it reminds you how much you really need one another even when you don't always say it.

One of the most valuable treasures we can have is that of a true friend. They aren't afraid to speak wisdom into your life. They are there when you just cannot figure out what to do next. Their smile encourages your heart and their tears weight you down with a sadness so deep you are certain their grief is your own. There are times of laughter and equally times of quiet appreciation of just being together. There is no compulsion to speak, nor is there the censure placed upon the words you find necessary to speak at the times they most need to hear them.

The one who finds such a treasure has innumerable resources at the ready - for that friend will stick with you through thick and thin. There is strength found in their words of encouragement, hope in their words of trust, and freedom in their words of pointed advice. The time you spend together doesn't need to be "filled" with anything - for it is the time that "fills" each of you more than words can ever tell. It is as though you just "sense" each other's need and without even noticing, you have set about to meet that need.

We can look many places for wisdom and truth, but it is found first in the relationship we maintain with Jesus and second in the friendship we maintain with that one God has placed in our lives to help us maintain balance, center our focus, and yes, even to develop our patience or open our eyes to things we just don't see in ourselves. Their words may not be recorded in the pages of history for others to read, but their words and actions write a message of love and hope so deep within our hearts that it shall never be forgotten! Just sayin!

Are you my spur?

If you fear other people, you are walking into a dangerous trap; but if you trust in the Eternal, you will be safe. (Proverbs 29:25 VOICE)

I think we all struggle with this one on occasion - fearing what people might think about us, what they may be saying, or even what they might someday do to us. It can keep us tied in knots and totally keep us out of deep, meaningful relationships because we don't want to take the step of trusting another with what we feel they may "misuse" or "find fault" with if we did. It takes a lot to open up to others - it takes even more to hold what we know about the other person sitting across from us as though it were the most precious treasure we might possess.

When someone trusts us with even a little piece of their real self, what we do with what we possess makes all the difference in how much more they will share in the future. The fear of others is often based in some misuse of what another "knows" about us - or how they have judged us by how we appear, respond, or maybe even out "intelligence level" on a certain subject. I could not even begin to talk Wall Street banking among those who possess that skill, but it wouldn't keep me from striking up a conversation with them. Who knows what I might learn in the process!  If I never put myself out there, I might never really find the benefit of being in relationship with the individuals God intends to be a blessing in my life.

On another side of this issue is the willingness to trust God with our lives - even the stuff we find hard to let go of or the "control" we hold onto with everything we've got. We don't want to hold back from trusting others, but we also don't want to put trust in them which is designed to be given to God. We don't want to hold back from trusting God with stuff we should trust him with, either. God doesn't want other people to control our actions - he wants to be the one to assist with that important work in our lives. He does want us to learn from what others see in us - helping us to see what we cannot see - good and bad. They will appreciate some things we didn't thing were all that "good" in us - they will help us to see the hard stuff we don't want to admit is hanging on in our lives that we simply need to let go of, as well.

God can be trusted. Others may let us down from time to time, but we still need others in our lives to help us to grow strong in our walk. What God warns against is placing more hope, trust, or "worth" in another over that which we place in him. We cannot be more secure than when he is given the right place in our lives. When we do, allowing him to bring individuals into our lives who will help us to see as he sees, grow in the things he desires us to grow into, and spur each other onto greatness in the things he values, we have found balance in our lives. Just sayin!

A single rose

"A single rose can be my garden...a single friend, my world."  (Leo Buscaglia)  Friendship is under-rated. We live in a world riddled with all manner of casual contacts - filling a long list of "friends" on our social media feeds. In general, they are folks we "friended" because they posted cool stuff in their feed, had common friends with those we knew, or we know them casually from work or other places we frequent often. Do they really rise to the level of "friend"? Will they be there when the times are hard, or the things we count on seem to fall out from under us? Will they remind us our faith is in God, not the circumstances ahead of us or the ones we just found ourselves smack-dab in the middle of right now? If they aren't, then they are probably more of an acquaintance and not so much of a friend.

A true friend loves regardless of the situation, and a real brother exists to share the tough times.  Proverbs 17:17 VOICE

The other day, my BFF and I were commenting about some of the friends we have had down through the years. We recalled their names, the circumstances that brought us together, etc.  It wasn't that we were really reminiscing that much, it just came up in casual conversation because she recounted what a new member of someone's family was going to be named.  That one name made me remember a friend from high school that I had lost contact with down through the years. I told my BFF that I had tried to find a couple of close friends from high school, all to no avail.  Although the name of the one was quite unique (or at least I thought it was), there were thousands on social media with the same name!  The other had likely married by now and was no longer going by her moniker, "Fish".  Both of these gals meant a lot to me, helping me get grounded in my faith, not so much because they were Christians themselves, but because they challenged me to be a better Christian!

That may not sound like much at first, but let me explain. One was a professing atheist - just not able to make room for God in her realm of thinking.  She believed heartily in evolution and challenged me many times on this "Creation Theory", as she called it.  The other was from Lebanon and had never been raised around Christian people, but she challenged me to understand Islam - not to convert me to her way of believing, but to understand her upbringing and family faith.  The more time I spent with these two unlikely companions, the more time I spent in the Word of God and in good books which helped me to understand my own beliefs, laying a firm foundation for me during those high school days.  By the time we graduated, we were doing a daily Bible Study together in the Quad at lunch time.  We discussed passages, challenging each other to consider it from one way or the other, and in time, we became very close companions.

The people in our lives matter - maybe not because they all believe the way we do, or even act exactly like us. They matter because they help us grow, challenging us to go "deeper" in our faith, and keeping us grounded in what matters. I may have lost touch with these two over the years, but their impact on my life will never be forgotten.  I learned of the wisdom of some great authors who helped me grow in my faith, grew from the insatiable exploration from cover to cover of my Bible, and understood that we can love and be committed to each other deeply even when we don't see things exactly the same. 

Little by little, they began to appreciate "my God" and the beliefs I found so important in my life.  In small steps, they edged toward accepting there just might be something to this Creation Theory, Christ and the cross, and the power of resurrection.  Most of the time I wanted to be "right" - having them see what I believed to be "best" and "the truth". Some of the time they challenged me to actually show them why "my way" was best or the "only" truth to be believed.  If you haven't been challenged at that level, then I wonder if you might not just benefit from finding someone in your "circle" who challenges you that deeply.  Just askin!

Sit by me a while, please

I saw a cute little poster the other day. One person sat with their arm around the other, backs facing outward toward the camera, heads slightly tilted toward the other person's shoulder. The caption was what spoke to me: "I'm not interested in whether you stood with the great. I'm interested in whether you sat with the broken." I think the idea expressed is simply profound - although it is not "Bible", the concept is straight out of the teachings of Jesus!

PERPETUALLY my focus takes me to the Eternal because He will set me free from the traps laid for me. QUIETLY turn Your eyes to me and be compassionate toward me because I am lonely and persecuted.  (Psalm 24:15-16 VOICE)

We don't have to possess all the answers in order to be a help to another.  We simply need to make the time, paying attention to their expressed need, as well as those things they just don't say, but are deeply feeling.  Often loneliness is not ever spoken, but it is there, deeply felt and earnestly desiring some type of release.  It is often easier for us to see the one who cries out the loudest and respond to their "need", but it may just be the one who says the least is the one who needs the strength of our shoulder the most!

There is something about just finding solace in each other that is priceless.  It isn't that we might experience long conversations, sharing deeply held secrets, or hashing out issues long overdue in being "dealt with".  I do appreciate that person who came alongside and was with me to work those things out, but I think I might just appreciate their quiet resolve to just "be there" when I have been unable to speak about whatever it is I am feeling even a little bit more.

I think we under-estimate the value of just being a constant friend - a companion in the journey.  It isn't necessarily the depth of your wisdom someone craves as much as the depth of your commitment.  In fact, it speaks so much more to just be faithful and consistent than it does to be able to work out the issues and have the answers to every problem.  I think I have valued those in my life who just came to be there than those who felt they needed to make some "impact" on my life. In reality, those who just sat with me when I have been broken made a more lasting impact than those who thought they had impacted me through their insight and talent!

If we are to model the love of Christ, it begins first with being sensitive to the needs of those around us.  It also requires us to not have to speak volumes in our words - but to speak volumes in our actions.  Sometimes the greatest action is that of just being along for the journey - nothing more, nothing less.  Just sayin!

I call you friends

Hubert Humphrey said, "The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love." There is something "enveloping" about the tender hugs of a companion in the journey, one who will not only come alongside, but will bear you up during times when you just feel you cannot go on any longer. Over the years, I have been observant of those who seem to live "rich lives".  They aren't those who drive the fanciest of cars, dress the snappiest, or even are surrounded by the most "friends" at the party.  In fact, they are often those who have learned to live well as "friends" themselves, drawing those who are loyal, trustworthy, and there for the long-haul into their lives not by their overwhelming charisma, but by their faithful example.

There is no greater way to love than to give your life for your friends. You celebrate our friendship if you obey this command. I don’t call you servants any longer; servants don’t know what the master is doing, but I have told you everything the Father has said to Me. I call you friends. (John 15:13-15 VOICE)

I call you friends - four words with the greatest of potential and a magnitude of blessing far outside of my limited ability to describe.  Jesus was speaking with those who were then and were to become his followers - disciples in this journey. To them he proclaims four things:

"I" - It isn't just anyone who makes this claim.  It is the Son of God, the one who sits at the right hand of the Eternal.  He is the one who makes this proclamation.  The all-becoming, all-knowing, all-powerful one proclaims, "I" call you my friends.

"Call" - The "I am" declares - indeed, he "makes it known" - we are his friends.  Not only is it to be known to us, but by evidence he leaves all over our lives by being a part of our lives, it becomes apparent we are his!

"You" - He directs his words clearly to those who are willing to follow - to do more than merely "associate with" him, but those who make the active choice to be with him no matter what comes.

"Friends" - Not acquaintances, not comrades, not colleagues, nor are we sidekicks.  We are the closest of "friends" - a person attached to another because there is a bond of love. 

Jesus is about to reveal the greatest evidence of this bond - the giving of his life for those he loves.  His example declares the depth of his commitment and the breadth of his encompassing love.  We are to celebrate his friendship - to give evidence of this bond relationship - through the giving of ourselves to the things he revealed as important in his time on this earth.  The binding up of wounds too deep to heal without the care of another.  The encouragement of words and actions that lift the spirit of one weighted down by the discouragements of a lifetime of wrong choices.  There is no greater love - no greater evidence of his grace in action - than to love with the heart of Jesus. 

In essence, Jesus is saying, "There is no greater bond..."  We can form bonds with many things and many people. Those bonds can be both trustworthy and a little flimsy - depending on the type of bond which is formed.  I have "glued" things to other things, such as a bead on top of a bottle so mom can easily identify it as the one she wants when she is in pain. Depending upon the glue I use, the wear and tear that bead receives each time that bottle is accessed, and the "bond" which formed when the glue was setting, that bead may last a long time right where it was attached, or come off in a moment of "pressure" too strong for that attachment.  God is calling each of us to be the type of friends with bonds too strong to detach, even when the pressures build!  Just sayin!

Free to be stupid?

Ralph Waldo Emerson is quoted as saying, "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." He also said, "To be yourself in a world constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."  Friendship is one of the greatest blessings anyone can extend into our lives, is it not?  When another comes alongside and lends not only their "best" to your life, but is free enough to add some of the stuff that makes you laugh that deep belly sort of laugh, and just puts a smile on your face, that is a great friendship!  I am so grateful when I can just hang out with my bestie and be "myself" - no pretense, no real need for any kind of hiding - just being exactly who and what I am.  It is probably one of the greatest compliments one can pay another when they just let the other be exactly who they are!

Those who live right are good guides to those who follow, but wrongdoers will steer their friends down the wrong path. (Proverbs 12:26 VOICE)

I count on my best friend to help guide me down paths worth me following and I think she counts on that from me. It is a kind of "give and take" - kind of like "bumpers" on a bowling alley.  We each head down a specific course in life, but then we find the other one guiding us gently back on course when we are steering our course in the direction which will land us in the "gutter" of life!  We couldn't do this for each other if we weren't free to be exactly who we are with each other - we need to be genuine in order to really be of aid to one another. There is just something about being the "real deal" that liberates you and allows you to get at the nitty-gritty of life.

Emerson hit the nail on the head when he said it is a tremendous blessing to be able to be "stupid" with your friend. I don't think he was saying we can have or take so much liberty that we do the very things which are unwholesome or unhealthy for our lives, but we can be free to try something, stumble, and then come to the realization we were a little short-sighted, naive, or kind of senseless in our pursuit!  This is the meaning of "stupid" I think he was aiming at - the freedom to be a little "rash", but not judgmental of one another whenever we are.

I can honestly say my BFF has kept me from making some rash decisions, saying things as they first came to mind, or making some pretty irrational judgments because I was caught up in the moment.  It is what we all can do for each other - act as that "balance" - allowing one another to be exactly who we are, and then adding the necessary restraint to keep us each from heading down the "gutter" of life!  As Emerson implied, this really only works when the masks are off!  We cannot do it when we are unwilling to be who we really are. I often speak about transparency - being real with one another and with God.  It is often pretty obvious when we are not!  We hide behind some pretense, not because we aren't valuable as we "really are", but because we often haven't had anyone in our lives who shows us it is okay to be exactly who we are and will still love us when we take off the masks!

My prayer for each of you - that you find your "bestie" in life who will allow you to be you, provide that "balance" to you life that helps to keep you out of the "gutter", and with whom you can share those deep belly laughs as you live life out in real freedom with each other!  Just livin!

Don't go it alone...

Helen Keller said, "Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." I don't think we ever count on walking alone through life, but there are times when we can be in a crowd and still be "alone".  It is truly a hard thing to learn to walk alone - because we lack the stabilizing force the other's hand offers, their balance creates, or their persistence with us getting it right affords in our repeated efforts to walk!  

Two are better than one because a good return comes when two work together. If one of them falls, the other can help him up. But who will help the pitiful person who falls down alone? In the same way, if two lie down together, they can keep each other warm. But how will the one who sleeps alone stay warm against the night? And if one person is vulnerable to attack, two can drive the attacker away. As the saying goes, “A rope made of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 VOICE)

A good return comes when two work together.  I would have to say a good return comes when two "walk" together. When two are walking side-by-side, they may not be together - they are simply "next to each other".  To truly walk together may be best symbolized by the illustration of actually walking in the footprints left by the other.  We don't blaze our own path, but set out to learn what the other has discovered on their journey.  Sometimes you will walk in those footsteps I have left before you - at others I will enter into yours.  Each of us shares those steps because each of us has so much to gain from the lessons learned along those steps.

If you have ever done this, you know you don't always see the same things, nor do you experience the journey in quite the same way the one who led the way might have.  We each have our own perspective and sense of "mindful intake" we exert as we journey similar paths - even when we appear to be totally in step with each other.  Why?  We don't always sense things similarly, and this is not wrong for we can learn from the experiences of each other as we engage in the similar journey.

Keller didn't see - she was blind - so her perception of the journey was entirely different from that of a sighted person. She developed a keen sense of hearing, touch, and other sensual intake which made it possible for her to "experience" the similar journey taken by another, but in a totally dissimilar manner.  The same is true for each of us - not because we are sighted or visually challenged - but because we have a mindset "similar", yet "unique".  When we each share how it is we experience the journey with another along on that journey with us, we benefit from the way the other experiences that journey because it is perhaps a similar perspective, but different, as well.  

The most important thing we may not realize about the journey we each experience is just how vulnerable we would have been to attack if we had walked the path alone!  There are times we think we have it all under control - spoiler alert - you and I rarely have it "all under control"!  In fact, what we view as control is probably just ordered chaos simply waiting to spin out of control at the next opportunity!  

Henry Ford is credited as saying, "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."  I'd have to agree. Vulnerability is the ability to be wounded or subject to attack. When I see myself as capable of being independent in my journey, I rarely see myself as being susceptible to attack - a truly dangerous position to assume in life!  When I walk with another, there is that moment in time when they help me recognize just how vulnerable I am!  In essence, they are bringing out the "best" in me at that moment - for learning to be dependent upon another is not weakness, but rather it is trust! Just sayin!

The noose gets tight, doesn't it?

What story are you writing?  A couple of weeks ago, our church handed out small wristbands which simply read "The Next Chapter".  As we all go through life, we are busy writing the story of our lives - we all leave a legacy - some good, some not as good.  What gets written in the pages of our lives is not always within our control, but most of the time, it is influenced by our response to what comes our way.  I think we can influence what gets written in the pages of the lives of those we are closest to - because we all have the opportunity to help someone up when they have fallen, restore them when they have made wrong choices, and carry their burdens when they are just too hard to carry on their own.

My spiritual brothers and sisters, if one of our faithful has fallen into a trap and is snared by sin, don’t stand idle and watch his demise. Gently restore him, being careful not to step into your own snare. Shoulder each other’s burdens, and then you will live as the law of the Anointed teaches us. Don’t take this opportunity to think you are better than those who slip because you aren’t; then you become the fool and deceive even yourself. Examine your own works so that if you are proud, it will be because of your own accomplishments and not someone else’s. Each person has his or her own burden to bear and story to write.  (Galatians 6:1-5 VOICE)

Too often, I think we "stand idle" - watching as someone spins out of control in their life.  We might just have the ability to keep them from falling, or at least guide them back up if they have!  If we believe what the Apostle Paul writes here, even the "faithful" have the potential of being "snared" and falling.  Do you know what a snare is?  It is anything which presents itself as an "allurement" - it is a "baited" thing designed to "catch" someone or something without them even knowing.  Rather than us condemning someone for being "stupid enough" to be snared by temptation, maybe we need to realize a snare is really designed to keep someone from knowing it is even there!

A snare is cleverly disguised - it isn't easily recognized.  No wonder it is so easy to fall into one because most of us go through life without really looking all that closely for things which might "trip us up" and leave us "hanging in the wind"! We just walk as though there were nothing going to trip us up!  My friend tells of the time I fell outside of the hospital, while walking on a completely level surface, spiraling out of control into the rocks by the path.  What she remembers most is how fast I got up.  What I remember most is how easily I fell and how quickly I realized the pain of the fall! We each have a different perspective of the fall - one because someone was falling headlong into a place of danger; the other because the fall was coming quicker than anyone could stop!

This is how it is with sin in our lives - sometimes we fall into it quicker than we might be able to stop.  Why?  We got too close to the edge!  We didn't recognize the snare - even though it was right there in front of us.  Some of the hardest things to see are the things closest to us.  If we keep in mind there are a ton of ways to fall, but fewer ways to actually get up, we might just stop criticizing each other for falling and start helping each other avoid the fall in the first place.  Think about it - there are only a few ways to get up, but thousands of ways we fall.  Do you know what makes a snare so hard to escape?  It is like a noose - the more you struggle to get out of it, the tighter it becomes.  The hold it has is not easily broken, so to get free, we need each other!  To be free of a noose, we need someone to "off-load" the weight pulling us down and making the noose even tighter.  When sin entangles us, we need someone to help "off-load" the weight in order for us to wriggle free of the "noose-like" hold it has on us!

If we are all writing the story of our lives, I want a few really important characters in my story line!  I want Jesus as my faithful companion, the one who actually helps give the richness and value to the story.  Then I want those who help me walk well, avoid stumbling, and are actually there to help me avoid the snares.  I also want them to be there when I get a little distracted by something and go headlong into the snare set to trap me up.  The legacy I leave will be written in those moments.  I don't want my legacy to say, "She walked alone."  I want it to say, "She walked with me."  First because I walked with Jesus and then because I walked with you! Just sayin!