Got a troublemaker in your life?

Some people are just troublemakers. They are always thinking up some crooked plan and telling lies. They use secret signals to cheat people; they wink their eyes, shuffle their feet, and point a finger. They are always planning to do something bad. But they will be punished. Disaster will strike, and they will be destroyed. There will be no one to help them. (Proverbs 5:12-14)

If you have ever had a troublemaker in your life, you know just how hard it can be to around them for any length of time. You just want to turn and run when you see them because you know nothing good is about to come of the encounter. Wisdom would suggest we avoid them entirely, but we all know it is impossible to never encounter them at all. So, what do we do when we encounter a troublemaker in our lives? If we want to learn how to deal with them, we need only look as far as Christ's example.

Jesus was surrounded by members of the religious leadership, thinking they knew more than he did, always trying to find fault with what he said or did. He didn't just rebuke them and move on - he cared too much for their lost souls. He didn't just 'take it' either - for he knew those of weaker faith needed to hear the message of hope he brought. He answered each one of their unfounded claims with dignity and grace. He didn't shy away from them, he purposefully placed himself in a position where they'd be. 

We also have the instruction given by Paul in Philippians 4:5 to let everyone see our gentleness and kindness, to pray and give God the worries of that relationship or encounter. I have 'shot up' many a quick prayer to him when encountered by a troublemaker, asking not only for wisdom in 'handling' the moment, but to have God intervene in the actions of the troublemaker. When we trust God to 'shut it down', we might just find there comes a 'lull' in the troublemaker's actions that suggests God is intervening. 

We don't want these individuals in our lives, but Galatians 6:1 tells us to always be gentle and attempt to 'make the individual right again' in the relationship. They will cause havoc with the greatest of ease, but our response should always be one of gentleness and grace. When encountered with that 'double-barreled defense' they might just find they have very little sway in our lives. A troublemaker who cannot stir up the trouble they hoped to create is actually undone by such a response. Just sayin!

Life Hack #20 - Tether Carefully

Life Hack #20:

Don’t envy bad people; don’t even want to be around them. All they think about is causing a disturbance; all they talk about is making trouble. (Proverbs 24:1-2)

Bad people seem to be everywhere in this world. It seems like evil just runs rampant and we cannot seem to regain the ground we have lost. As we begin to ponder how easily things seem to be going for those bent on doing wrong, we almost wonder why things can't be that easy for us. It is amazing what we can get worked up over - stuff we probably don't want to be involved in anyway, but because we see some advantage to the other guy, we get ourselves all in a twitter about the issue. Evil people cannot help us stay on the right path - in fact, they might get us off it without even trying very hard - simply because our tendency is to follow what moves our feelings rather than what keeps our spirit on the up and up. To get caught up in the talk and the ruckus of their madness is to end up in a truly dangerous place.

The "soundness" of a safe foundation for our lives will keep us on the up and up. When God tells us not to envy bad people or even desire to be around them, it is because he doesn't want us to become corrupted by their way of thinking, acting, or speaking. They are "pot stirrers" and as such, they delight in getting people "stirred up", but not for the right reasons. It is good to get our "juices flowing" once in a while over some issues, but when we are just getting caught up in the manipulative plotting of those bent on making life a little more complicated, we might just do well to turn away and run as fast as we can.

We are warned to avoid those whose hearts plot evil - they have an end in mind which only furthers their intentions. We must evaluate their words. All their talk appears to gravitate toward the culmination of their plotted evil. We all know how deceptive words can be, so we cannot simply take words at face value, but they are one of the indicators that give us a sense of warning that this is not the crowd we want to be keeping company with. Why? The "herd effect" of this type of negativity and wayward bent is in view here. We get "caught up" in the way they are moving simply because they have a way of almost "stampeding" those around them. They take off running and those who don't realize the misdirection of their path can easily be caught up in the "running" and just follow suit.

God asks us to know the hearts of those we companion with and to not be swayed by the words playing on our emotions so that we get into motion without really thinking through what it is we are moving toward. Be certain as to the heart intentions of those we companion with - the principle taught in scripture of being "equally yoked". To be equally yoked, two oxen were placed side by side in the yoke. Together they plowed the field. If one was too strong, or given to being too lazy, that one would constantly be pulling against the other and the fields would not get plowed well. The farmer would work way too hard just controlling the animals to get the plowing done! When we "partner" with another in relationship, we often find ourselves "working" together. If there is too much stubbornness on one's part, or perhaps a propensity to allow another to do the work, one of us will become disillusioned with the other and begin to regret the choices we have made. Evaluating who it is we "step into the yoke" with will save us a lot of regret down the road. Just sayin!

Pure and simple

Some days, I am on top of the world - sailing along without worry or hindrance. Others I am in the pit looking up - barely able to keep my head above water, really uncertain about the way things are going to turn out that day. The ups and downs, twists and turns of life just keep us in knots, wondering what is coming next, not sure we will be able to 'keep up' or 'make it through'. It is one thing to feel these various emotions because of another's action within our lives - quite another to feel them because of our own poorly prepared and 'dumbly executed' actions, isn't it? One brings a sense of anger, mistrust, fear, and perhaps even the desire to retaliate a little. The other brings a sense of frustration, guilt, remorse, and if we are being totally honest here, even a little bit of what we call shame.

Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him. (Romans 12:3)

The main reason we experience these ups and downs in our emotions is our viewpoint or vantage point in life - it colors our interpretation of all life sends our way. I wonder if we really know what it means to live in "pure grace". I think we might have an idea of grace, but I think most of us actually do not fully appreciate the depth of grace in our lives - going to the deepest places of hurt and sin in our lives. We don't understand its breadth - reaching into the periphery and uncovering what only festers where it is secretly hidden. Amazingly, we do understand how to cover up, run from, work to be free of, and involve ourselves in all kinds of spiritual contortions in order to "feel forgiven". Yet, that 'feeling' is a waning thing - probably for about as long as it takes for us to do something else that is kind of dumb, or poorly executed in our lives! Paul writes to us about the grace of God - pure and simple - we are incapable of adding nothing to it! It is this grace which sets man right with God - pure grace - nothing 'mixed into it' that we can add on our own merit. This same grace restores hope to the hopeless soul - the soul that keeps doing the same dumb things time and time again. Nothing is quite like grace. Grace is indeed not fully understood, but I wonder if we were ever supposed to 'understand' grace, or to simply accept it, allow it to regenerate us, and then walk free of the very thing that required grace in the first place?

Living is at its best when it is in "pure grace". There is nothing more fulfilling than to be aware of how much God has forgiven in our lives, the ways he has changed a hardened and unyielding heart, or the phenomenal job he does in changing our sometimes pretty 'warped' mindset. Yet, we live far short of "pure grace", don't we? We "muddy" the grace of God with the actions of our own attempts at "feeling forgiven". We want to do something to "feel forgiven" - like serving out of obligation rather than love, engaging in religious activities for the sake of how it makes us feel. Then we wonder why we just don't break free from the feelings associated with our past failures. It is almost always because we don't understand grace - a gift, pure and simple, with no strings attached. We don't bring our "goodness" to God - he brings it to us! No matter what, God's grace is ours - we just have to learn to accept the grace we have been given and stop trying to "add" to it! We only understand ourselves when we behold God. Why? He is our creator - we are created in HIS image. When we look upon him, we see exactly what he created us to be! As we behold him, we see how he sees us! It is in beholding what he is - pure, holy, loving, righteous, long-suffering - the revelation of how he sees us becomes more real. We are definitely not pure - but in Christ, we are totally pure. We are definitely not the embodiment of love - but in Christ, we experience pure love. We are certainly not very patient or long-suffering - but in each extension of God's grace, we begin to understand the limitless supply of his grace.

It is his action within us which helps to "even out" those ups and downs of emotions. It is what he does in and for us that produces "evenness" in our character. Left to our own devices, we would still ride the roller-coaster of emotions. We simply cannot experience lasting emotional stability if we are counting on any human effort of our own to make us "feel" right. Eventually, given enough time, we will disappoint ourselves! We will do something, say a few choice words, or forget our commitments. In the end, all the religious effort to be "good" or "pure" will just not "make us" so! Only grace has the ability to accomplish what grace is intended to do - to pardon, to release, to erase. Nothing is quite like grace! I have observed a trend to hand out all these 'powerful' sports drinks at soccer, football, and baseball games now. The question that comes to mind is if we are losing water while exerting ourselves, why aren't we drinking water? The drinks may be good, but if all we need is water, why do we try to put more in? I have to ask, if we have fallen from grace, why are we trying to replace it with anything other than grace? Just askin!

Get schooled!

Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. (Ephesians 4:2 TLB)

If you have ever worked with the elderly in that latter stages of their lives, or little children in the early years of theirs, you know just how hard it can be to constantly be telling them the same things over and over again. Add to the elderly's constantly dwindling short-term memory the issues of not hearing well, problems with their sight, and the advances of pains galore and you have a recipe for some challenging moments that put to test the fibers of your character. Think about the boundless energy of a small child and constantly challenging curiosity and you have a recipe for exhaustive patience. I wish I could say I never get frustrated repeating stuff over and over again, but I do. I would like to report I never have an edge in my voice that betrays my lack of enthusiasm to be moving at a snail's pace when I'd like to be zooming ahead. I'd like to say I never grow weary in doing the right stuff - the really good stuff - for others, but I do. What I can report to you is that sometimes I have to ask for forgiveness - I just wasn't as patient as I needed to be in making "allowances" for the needs of the other individual.

Humility, gentleness, and being available to the other person are earmarks of a child of grace. Don't be duped into believing these things come easily for a child of Christ, though. They are still three of the toughest character traits to develop and consistently display in our lives. Like it or not, this is a life-long ordeal of learning how to truly live in humility. It means we learn to not be brash in our responses - displaying a little more tactfulness than the occasion may warrant, being consistently reverent in times where our response may logically border on criticism or sarcasm, and being available to take the time to help another understand. Gentleness engages all our senses so that we are not allowing any roughness either in our action or our speech - even when our nerves are fraying a little. Both bespeak living in such a way that there is evidence of a "moderator" over our actions and words.

Christ desires to be that moderator, my friends. He desires to help us know when our pride is going to lead us straight into a landmine. He has ways of helping us realize there is about to emerge a sense of roughness in our actions or words that can be conveyed in so many different ways it could set a forest on fire. We don't always recognize these things on our own - sometimes even justifying our lack of humility or gentleness with excuses. It is the 'you did this' and that made me 'do that' kind of rationalization. It takes a life of consistent connection with Jesus to help us realize there is no real rationalization for bad behavior! It takes this consistent connection to help us recognize opportunities for change. In the past week, I have emphasized this need for consistent connection over and over again. Why? There is no substitute for grace, and their is equally no substitute for those moments in which his grace "schools us" in how to behave! Just sayin!

Appropriate words

To give an appropriate answer is a joy; how good is a word at the right time! (Proverbs 15:23 CEB)

Do you ever find yourself just standing there speechless at times because what you just heard, saw, or were asked just absolutely floored you? There are entire shows on TV these days in which individuals try to leave those around them "shocked" by some behavior they exhibit. The idea is to see if anyone will say something, or react in a way that reminds us these behaviors are really not all that acceptable. It amazes me to see how many times others will take offense, as evidenced by their body language, but will absolutely say nothing! Then comes along someone with the "moxie" to stand up to the guy trying to elicit some response and how the words fly! What others only thought, this individual is putting into quite a diatribe of words!

God doesn't expect us to be speechless - but he also asks us to be very deliberate in the choice of words we speak. They are to be "appropriate" words that hit the spot, but don't damage others in the process. Sometimes an "appropriate" word will put someone in their place, though, but in a way that is tempered by the oversight of the Holy Spirit. Remembering that we aren't to "be" the Holy Spirit in the lives of another, we really are just to be "used by" him when we are called to step up. That probably means we won't ridicule, tear down, criticize in an unkind manner, etc. It means we will speak truth - but in gentleness and kindness.

Words have such a great power to both build up or tear down, and sometimes one speaks the right ones in the right time, while at others one doesn't do as well in this regard. We all find ourselves fallible where it comes to our words. We speak without thinking. We don't weigh the intensity of our tone. We disregard the feelings of another. In turn, we hit the mark, but we bring damage in the relationship. Wouldn't it be so much better for our words to be chosen well, tempered with the gentleness of the Spirit's guidance in our speaking of them, and hit the mark in such a way that it changes the heart of the one hearing them?

Just asking?

Killing me softly

Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. (Matthew 11:29)

Back in the day, the recording artist Roberta Flack became known for several of her most popular songs. One such song had lyrics that somehow touched me, not because they were a "love song" really, but because of the undertone of the song as I viewed it in light of what Jesus did in my own life.  The song?  "Killing Me Softly With His Song". Why did this song speak to me of Jesus and his action in my life? Maybe an exploration of the words might tell you:

Strumming my pain with his fingers - Singing my life with his words

Killing me softly with his song - Killing me softly with his song

Telling my whole life with his words - Killing me softly with his song

Doesn't Jesus have just the right way to place his fingers exactly where the pain is in our lives, making what others might see as too much pain and making it into something special through the song he gently sings into our lives through his words?  Killing us softly isn't really "death" in the "mortal" sense, but a death to the things that weigh us down and hold us back from being close to him.

I heard he sang a good song - I heard he had a style

And so I came to see him - To listen for a while

And there he was this young boy - A stranger to my eyes

Something draws us to Jesus - even though we don't know exactly what it is - and when we come close to him, what we hear is a "good song". His style? Gentleness, kindness, forgiveness, and grace. His hope - that we might listen - if even for just a while - for he has a story to write in our lives.

I felt all flushed with fever - Embarassed by the crowd

I felt he found my letters - And read each one out loud

I prayed that he would finish - But he just kept right on

Isn't it just like us to think Jesus "reads our mail" - for he knows exactly where we need his touch and exactly how that touch will impact our lives. We might stand in total embarassment as we are "found out", exposed a little and feeling pretty vulnerable, but in his gentleness, he woos us in with his words and settles our troubles spirits and wounded souls.

He sang as if he knew me - In all my dark despair

And then he looked right through me - As if I wasn't there

And he just kept on singing - Singing clear and strong

He indeed sings as if he knows us - because he does! He knows our darkest places of despair - he looks right through even those "walled off" places we might not want him or others to ever see. Why?  I think it is because he wants us to know he loves even those imperfect and wounded places of our lives that others might never see. His song - it is clear and strong and it is the song of grace and love. His melody - it is healing and release. I don't know if Roberta knew it when she sang those words, but it could be she was speaking of more than some might have realized - for Jesus came through to me - how about you? Is it quite possible he is singing your life with his words! Just sayin!