Bad habits are hard to break, so...

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

Benjamin Franklin said, "It is easier to prevent bad habits than it is to break them." Maybe this is why God encouraged his people to commit themselves to getting into God's Word every day. Recalling his Word on occasion is okay, but 'rehearsing' it until it gets inside of you and begins to affect what you are doing is much closer to what he commanded!

Bad habits form a whole lot easier than good ones - at least, that is what I have observed in my own life. The good ones seem to be more difficult because of how I view them - as hard, requiring a 'whole lot of change'. If we didn't form them in the first place, the struggle wouldn't be there! The more we commit to making God's Word a 'normal part' of our daily life, the more we will 'crave' time in it. 

At first, the study of his Word may be a little onerous. If you get yourself a good translation, one that makes it easier for you to read and comprehend, then you might not find it so hard to 'get into'. Once you begin, you won't want to stop, but the enemy of your soul will do everything he can to stop you. Why? He knows that God's Word gives us power - truth bringing all of his lies into the light. 

There is something powerful in repeating God's Word - in rehearsing it time and time again. I sometimes think I go to the same passages a lot, kind of like they are my 'favorite' places to explore in his Word. There is nothing wrong with that process, though. God's Word resonates with us in different ways at different times - depending on the circumstances we are facing at that moment. All of his Word is powerful, but there are times when we will find he draws us back to something we already studied, knowing that we need whatever light that rehearsal will bring into the present darkness we face. Just sayin!

Just thinking....

When we have thoughts that are constantly gravitating toward worry, it becomes an all-consuming process that works over and over again in our brains until it eats us up! Did you ever really think about what worry is - not worry over worry, but think about what might be at the root of it? When we are spending our time in worry, we are really focusing all our time on reviewing over-and-over again what we have absolutely no power over - the control is really in another's hands! That seed of doubt, fear, frustration, and indecisiveness soon become a full-grown tree of worry, bearing repeated fruits of anxiety that we feed on and continue to mull over in our minds. We have no control over it, but it soon begins to control us - it draws us in deeper and deeper.

I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. (Philippians 4:8)

If we can get our minds constantly in a place of frenzied activity (worry), then we have less ability to tune into what God wants to say to us about the situation. Activity shuts down the communication avenue with God in so many ways. That is why Satan is delighted whenever he sees us engaging in the thoughts of doubt and worry - they keep us 'moving' in ways that makes it hard for us to settle down long enough to hear what God has to say on the matter! The term "worrywart" actually comes from a comic strip in the 50's in which a character in that strip was constantly causing worry in others rather than being worried himself. There are both extremes to worry (fretting) - being so consumed yourself, or shifting it to others in order to avoid it yourself.

The first thing we need to embrace when dealing with our thoughts is that they are a matter of choice. Go to the local home repair stores during planting season. In the gardening section, there are these displays with tons of packages of seeds in them. Within each package you will find between 12 seeds (if you are planting something like pumpkin) and hundreds of seeds (if you are planting radishes). One seed is large and easily recognized. The other is quite small and many may slip through your hands unnoticed as you examine them. The same is true with our thoughts - there are big ones we easily recognize, place carefully into their place, or even dismiss entirely. I don't want a full garden of pumpkin, so I will likely not plant the entire package anyway! There are also small ones, not so easy to detect, but nonetheless capable of producing a bumper crop of growth! Especially when many escape our grasp without our even noticing.

Did you know that a rut is a track worn by habitual passage (something akin to worry)? Take that and apply it to your thoughts today - what "track" or "rut" have you created in your thought life? That which consumes your thoughts soon consumes your heart. Outward circumstances impact what we internalize so very well. Internalized circumstances soon become worries. Worries soon become tracks well-worn by habitual passage! We have power over our perspective in life - it begins in our thoughts. When we begin our thoughts with the instruction to "think on these things", we are insuring that we have the power to choose our thoughts. Perspective is the relationship we attach to the various input we receive - when we are actively involved in choosing how we view the various input, we learn to control the impact these things have on us. You have heard the saying "mind over matter" - I'd like us to begin to realize that it is "what comes into our mind matters"!

Worry is often a point of conflict in our lives - our minds think one thing, our heart knows another. We choose our response to that conflict based on the thoughts we allow to become the most central part of our focus. The same is true of hatred, anger, or bitterness - our minds entertain the thoughts of how we have been wronged, our hearts are challenging us to forgive as we have been forgiven. We choose our response to that conflict based on which thought we give the most attention to. There is no better place to have boundaries in our lives than in our thought life. When we learn to declare some roads as "off-limits", we are less likely to end up in the ruts of habitual passage! Just thinkin!

Habit or obsession

It was Benjamin Franklin who reminded us it is easier to prevent habits than to break them. A habit is an "acquired behavior pattern" that is followed so frequently that it becomes what scientists would call 'involuntary'. More than likely we each have one or two habits that have become so 'involuntary' we no longer think about them, we just do them. As a matter of fact, it probably throws us off a little whenever anything interferes with that 'pattern of behavior'. If you are used to rising in the morning, putting on a pot of coffee, and sitting with the paper in hand as your 'routine', you will likely be lost if the paper delivery doesn't occur that day. Your 'pattern' just got disrupted! Most would agree some habits are not bad to have, such as washing our hands and brushing our teeth. Good hygiene is an 'acquired behavior pattern' appreciated by all. Yet there are others which are a little more 'out there' that might not be considered as 'acceptable' by some - the types of behavior patterns we might not want to 'flaunt'. If patterns of behavior can be 'acquired', wouldn't it be wise to consider if they are 'acceptable' and 'good for us' before we develop them?

Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. (Psalm 139:23-24 MSG)

If a habit is 'customary' for us, then it stands to reason we can develop 'behavior patterns' that stand up to thorough scrutiny, such as having those 'patterns' observed by others, or God. Those 'patterns' we may not want others to observe or know about are likely the ones we developed because of wrong choices in our lives. It is even possible for a 'habit' to become more of an 'obsession' for us when that 'pattern of behavior' becomes so much of a focus that we have a hard time not engaging in that behavior for any period of time. 

Is it possible for a 'good behavior' to turn into an 'obsessive' one? Yes, if that behavior begins to interfere with other actions we are supposed to be engaging in. For example, getting our hair styled in the morning is positive, but when the time it takes to style that hair exceeds the time we take eating a good breakfast, spending a little time with the family, or doing a little bit around the house to keep things in order, it likely is becoming an 'obsessive habit'.

When I think about habits, here is a little thing I have used to examine if I want to be heading down that 'behavior road' or not:

Help - will this action, if repeated time and time again, help me to develop other positive character traits that are beneficial to me and others?

Acceptable - is this action something that God views as acceptable for my life? (Just because it is acceptable for another may not mean my circumstances are the same - it might not be acceptable for me.)

Benefit - is there a benefit to the repeated action such as the positive development of deeper relationship, or the added benefit of growing in my relationship with Christ?

Intent - will the intentional pursuit of this behavior now result in any unintentional consequences later on?

Time - is the time it will take to make this action an 'involuntary' one going to be worth it? (There are times when the time expenditure outweighs the return on that investment.)

If the habit is not harmful, doesn't detract from solid character development, and won't keep us away from other equally important 'behaviors' or 'activities', then it probably is okay. Yet, we always need to re-evaluate our 'habits' from time to time because it is possible what once started out as a 'good habit' has turned into nothing more than a 'habit' without much long-term benefit for us. Just sayin!

Pushed or pulled?

Hold the high ground - it is the best and most successful position!  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "If you would lift me up, you must be on higher ground."  He had something there, don't ya think?  For someone to lift another, they have to have a position which allows them to pull, not push another!  Think about it - you can only push or boost another up when you are at a point lower than they are.  If you are at a point higher, you can pull.  To push really means you are putting pressure against - so as to move what seems to be immovable.  To pull means you draw toward - so as to bring closer to where you are.  I think there is something to be said for being pulled, rather than always having to be pushed!

All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side.  (I Corinthians 7:23-24 MSG)

Old habits die hard, don't they?  In fact, we might find they never really "die".  There is some niggling memory of every old habit we might have had - it may no longer have any appeal to us, even seeming a little repulsive to us now, but there is a hint of memory which reminds us of its existence.  Since we have memory of the old, it might just be easier to "slip back" into the old than we realize.  Usually this "slippage" is not on purpose, but rather is because we weren't paying close enough attention to what was going on around us.  This is probably why God cautions us to "consider" our ways.  To consider means we contemplate, meditate upon - in other words, think things through over and over again.  Once he helps us break our ties with the past, he doesn't want us to remunerate the past memories, but to think on the new over and over.  In replacing the old with the new, we break the ties with the old.

There is a danger in receiving counsel without comparing it to the source of all counsel - God himself.  God gives us counsel in his Word on almost every topic you can imagine - those he doesn't speak to plainly, we can usually simply use the principles taught in scripture to know whether the counsel is good or not so worthy of our attention.  There will always be those who give counsel freely - not really considering what their "opinions" will add to the confusion some may experience in their own minds already.  These "opinionated" counselors are doing nothing more than lending confusion to the mix.  As Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, he was giving them wisdom - to keep them on the higher ground.  Why?  Slippage is easy - staying in a position where you can lift another is harder, but it is the place of advantage!

Look at his counsel - it is out of old habit we slip back into being what we don't want to be, or doing what all the others are doing.  We stop considering the best and just go with the easiest.  Habit is almost involuntary - it doesn't take much thought.  I think Paul is challenging believers to put thought into their actions - to determine to live on purpose, not by some involuntary motions.  Aristotle once said, "We are what we repeatedly do."  So, true!  What is almost more important, and I think what Paul may actually be driving at here, is that what we repeat gets repeated by others.  I affect more than me, you affect more than you.  

I don't often quote Warren Buffett, but he did say something I found quite profound:  "Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."  Think on this one - too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.  Since Paul is dealing with our ties to the past, he is reminding us of how easy it is to become enslaved again to the things we have been freed from, simply because we don't realize the binding force until it is often too late.  As I opened today, I considered two positions - being pulled and being pushed.  Going back to those two, I want to focus a moment on being pushed.  You see, there was something in the definition which I don't want to gloss over.  The idea of being pushed is related to being immovable.  We have dug in and are content to be where we are.  Sometimes we need a little push, especially when we have become immovable - stalled in some rut.  The tendency to remain in a rut is too great, so we need some pushing at times.  

I think Paul may have been dealing with both those of us who need a little push at times, and those of us with the capacity to do a little pulling, by our example, words, and faith.  If you have found "higher ground" than some, you are in a position to pull - to elevate, to draw toward.  If you are struggling in some rut, you have the capacity to be pushed, but guess what?  Someone has to be behind you to push!  So, even being in a position of being pushed is really being on a little higher ground than another!  Just sayin!

Group "norms" or your "norms"?

Who do you "hang out" with?  You probably have a pretty "routine" group of acquaintances who you associate with more than others.  Sometimes, we have groups at work or school, others at home and at church.  They can overlap a little, but seldom are they all the same.  When we have all these groups in which we associate, it is easier to be one with one group and quite another with the other, isn't it?  There is not a great deal of consistency between the members of the groups, so being a little different with each group usually doesn't present a problem.  Until....one day, you find a member of one of your "groups" crossing-over into another!  Perhaps you find yourself a little conflicted because you "act" one way with the present group, but quite a different way with the other.  The truth about associations is the tendency we have to "blend" to their way of acting.  We become like those we hang out with, don't we?  Yeah, we hold onto some of the uniqueness of who we are, but we have a tendency to adapt to the "norms" of the group we are in.

Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads.  Bad temper is contagious—don’t get infected.  (Proverbs 22:24-25 MSG)

The "group norms" are the unwritten, often unspoken, "rules" which govern our behavior while in the group.  It is the "norms" which help us to understand how to act.  For example, if you come into a boardroom of well-dressed business men and women, wearing blue jeans and a polo, you might feel a little "out of place".  The norms of the group dictate a different attire as appropriate for the boardroom setting.  There are no written rules, but there is an understood rule of "presentation" of a professional image.  If the norms of the group allow for a free-for-all kind of work environment, such as a creative business such as an art studio, a man in a business suit would feel just as "out of place".  

I think Solomon might have understood "group norms" a little way back in the time he recorded these words to his sons.  He understood the idea of "conforming" to the group values.  If the group values are good, this is not so much of a problem, but if they represent something less, we might find ourselves getting wrapped up in behavior we'd be best to avoid.  "Keeping company" with anyone who sways us away from upright behavior is always risky business.  If our values "morph" to the values of the group we are in, isn't it important to understand the values pretty early on?  

Look at what he says:  "Don't HANG OUT with angry people; don't KEEP COMPANY with hotheads."  Here are two very important distinctions - hanging out and keeping company.  Hanging out is really the casual kind of companion interaction - friends just being together without any real purpose or intent.  Keeping company is more of a consistent kind of attention to the relationship, so as to associate with or consort with them.  

Now, look at these in context.  If we "hang out" with angry people - having no real purpose or intent in our relationships - we might find it very easy to have our norms morphed a little by those we are "hanging out" with, huh?  But, Solomon goes on to remind us it is equally as dangerous to form lasting relationships with these individuals (keeping company) - there is a tendency to partner with (come into agreement with) those we associate with long enough.  Whereas "hanging out" is casual and without any great intention, "keeping company" declares some type of commitment.

So, in context, Solomon warns us against both the casual association with those who have an issue with anger and the committed relationship with one who had issues with being impetuous and short-fused.  Anger is a long-term problem - temper is short-lived, but equally as devastating to the one on the receiving end!  When we "hang with" or "commit to" others who display these tendencies, we both place ourselves in their direct path, AND we have exposed ourselves to the tendency to "morph" our actions to theirs.  

The angry have made their violent rage a lifestyle.  The hothead is probably more dangerous because you never know what will "trigger" the next outburst!  Either way, we are to be very cautious about entering into relationship with these individuals.  Both can lead us down paths we'd probably never want to travel!  The "rub" comes in being "affected" or "infected" by their actions.  There are a whole group of "sins" which affect the one doing the sinning - there are others which affect others, as well.  Anger and hotheadedness are two of the ones which are never content unless others are caught up in their "fray".  

So, it really does matter who we associate with, both in the casual sense, such as at the lunch table at work, and in the more permanent sense, such as a life-long companion.  To be unaware of the damage of their anger or hotheadedness is to be naive.  To this end, Solomon warns his sons (and us) to avoid their company - to not purposefully place ourselves in a position to be affected by their "norms".  Just sayin!