Curtains anyone?

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. (Galatians 6:1-3)

Would you help a friend clean their house after they had surgery? Most likely. Would you prepare a meal for someone after they just brought their newborn baby home from the hospital? Sure. Would you sit by a friend who was deeply saddened after the loss of a loved one? Absolutely. Would you be open to hearing about your friend's greatest struggle? That one may be a little harder to answer, because when you say you are willing to do it, you open yourself up to being a little vulnerable yourself. How can we become vulnerable when someone else is sharing their pain or struggle? It happens when we let our guard down just enough to get a little bit 'real' with the other person. To 'get real' with them, we must 'get real' with ourselves first. Too many people go through life 'covering up' what they feel is 'uncomely' or 'uncomfortable' and 'messy' in their lives. In turn, there is very little opportunity for us to help each other walk out our issues together. Why? People who are not willing to be vulnerable just continue in their own struggles and mess, making it hard for them to actually be of any help to others with similar issues.

When was the last time you were willing to share your 'mess' with another? If you find you have a hard time actually recalling a time, you most likely have been living behind a curtain most of your life. You find it hard to open up, thinking others will judge you because of your failures, quirks, or misgivings. You talk a good talk, but your walk isn't really all that genuine. God's words to us today are quite clear - we need to gently and humble 'get into each other's lives'. Why? To help both of us get on and stay on the right path! Share the burdens you bear - easier said than done. When we are surrounded by godly people who love Jesus first in their lives, we find this gets easier. Why? They aren't judgmental like the world might be. They might even share how they have similar experiences that they have walked through, aren't all that perfect themselves, and how deeply they need to be connected with others in order to walk out this 'salvation experience'. We don't ever grow alone - we need connection. Who's your most 'vulnerable' connection? Chances are that connection didn't happen by mistake. It was divinely arranged by a loving and caring God who knew you'd need each other to walk things out in this life here on earth. 

We probably crave connection more than we know. I went years without a close friend, living a very lonely life. When I finally made some connections with others who seemed to be walking through similar struggles, I realized I was not in this alone. I knew I could learn from them, and they came to count on learning from me. The 'curtain' had to go, though. We could not hide if we were to heal. Healing always requires an 'uncovering' of the nastiness and then a careful washing away of all that 'mess' that doesn't belong there any longer. Just sayin!

All come free!

Hide or seek - do you remember the game? When we played it as kids, it was usually in the yard and we had to come up with clever hiding places behind shrubs, up on a tree limb, or maybe behind the trash can. The places weren't all that 'concealing', but they worked! We'd hide in the most obscure, hoping not to be found, but when we were, we would then become the seeker. Do you ever remember finding that one spot no one would ever imagine you'd hide and you'd be there until someone called 'all come free'? That spot in my yard was deep inside of this huge cypress tree. We had two of these teardrop shaped trees lining the driveway and they were huge. The inside left you totally obscured from sight, but it came with some risks. Have you any idea what lives inside those branches? Spiders, bees, hornets, just to name a few! The hiding was supreme, but the risks in the hiding were huge!

“This is the crisis we’re in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won’t come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is.” (John 3:20-21 MSG)

The purpose of hiding is to keep hidden from view - so as to keep something secret or shut off from others. On occasion, the things we hide are pretty insignificant, like that candy bar we are saving for that day when we just need that little indulgent treat to get us through. At other times, the things we hide are not so 'harmless' - in fact, they almost are being 'kept in secret' because we don't want anyone to know those things about us! We want to avoid having those things exposed, so we won't have to face some form of 'pain' if they were to be seen or realized. The problem with running from God's light is that it penetrates where darkness attempts to hide - no amount of darkness is ever really going to cover over what we seek to hide so deeply - his light is able to see past the dark places!

Hiding always comes with some risks - either because the hiding produces some form of risk to us (like the inside of the cypress tree), or because discovery would be our undoing! The hiding places in our lives aren't really all that robust. The principle of camouflage may have been used to cover over something in our lives, but even a well camouflaged thing isn't going to be completely unrecognized by the trained eye. The trained eye will spot the little incongruities that exist with that clever conceal. God's light, combined with his 'trained eye', makes it virtually impossible to totally conceal what we think shouldn't be known or seen by anyone.

Exposure is indeed painful - it requires a degree of honesty that many are not comfortable with because if we are honest with ourselves, we are also asking others to be honest with us. We might be inclined to bring things into the light if we know others won't judge us for whatever that thing might be. The only one who really doesn't judge us for bringing things out into the light is Christ himself. Yes, he helps us have deeply honest relationships with each other, but trust me on this one - as honest as we might be with each other, it is hard for us not to judge each other. Christ has already been judged on our behalf for whatever it is we are trying to conceal, so he doesn't need to judge us for that thing! It has already been judged and the thing has already been forgiven. Just sayin!

It is time to come out of hiding

Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?” says the Lord. 

(Jeremiah 23:24 NLT)

As kids, we played that all-time favorite of kids everywhere - hide and seek. Someone would be tagged "it", cover their eyes, and count to 100 while all the others would scurry off into "secret hiding places". The goal was to not be discovered - you wanted the "best" hiding place ever. This might have worked well in those "fun and games" times of our youth, but as we got older, the game of hiding wasn't always followed by someone seeking to uncover our hiding places! Into adulthood, our hiding places just got a little more "sophisticated" and we aren't as much "physically" hiding as it is we are hiding things emotional and a little harder to conceal!

Maybe we don't think anyone is trying to uncover those places, but God knows them ALL anyway! He doesn't have to work hard to discover them, but sometimes he has to work hard on us so that we come to the place where we realize we have been hiding those hurts and emotional burdens in those secret places! Nothing remains hidden in the presence of Jesus. Maybe that is why we sometimes shy away from really getting really close in our walk with Jesus - we don't want to have those things hidden away so carefully discovered or exposed. If you listen closely as you do draw close, you will hear those all too familiar words, "All come free". The hiding is over!

What are we worried about when God invites us to come free? Could it be that we are concerned we might have to admit we have been wrong in the matter we have held such bitterness over? Could it be the anger we have welled up inside for so long is points to a hugely injured amount of pride on our part that we have been too stubborn to admit? Might it just be there has been way too much of "me", "me", "me" that we don't want exposed to anyone else because they'd see just how self-centered our perceptions have been in a matter? These are all very real things that keep us in hiding for way too long and God isn't going to be content to let us hide forever. He will one day call for us to "come free" and when he does, we need not fear what he will discover - for he knows it all anyway!

In issues of damaged relationships, we could have been "right" in our own eyes for so long we are totally scared and emotionally unprepared to actually see things as God sees them. In issues of wrongs perpetrated on others, we could have justified our "not coming clean" for so long that we actually think it would be okay to allow those wrongs to go along as they have been. The truth is that God isn't afraid to show us his perspective - but in so doing, he also shows us the pathway to totally being "free" of those things that have kept us so bound up in hiding for so long. It isn't good to have hiding places - for they only make us think things have been forgotten or dealt with. The fact remains - the things hidden still exist - they just aren't as easily noticed by us or others. God still sees them, though, no matter how good a job we do hiding! Just sayin!

Fear ruins relationships

Have you ever experienced the defensive move of just simply hiding yourself from whatever it is you are afraid of?  I have!  In fact, whenever I get good and scared, I usually run and hide!  Maybe not literally, but internally.  I pull in all my "soft spots" and get deeper into my shell so I can minimize the impact of the thing which I fear the most!  The problem with this is the realization of one fear leading to another and then another, and so on.  If you don't believe me, think back to the last time you heard a noise somewhere in the house.  You are all alone - or at least you believe you are!  Then you hear another.  What happens?  Your imagination begins to believe all kinds of things - magnifying your initial fear until your adrenaline is pumping, heart racing, hairs standing on end and perspiration drops beginning to bead on your forehead.  All because your initial fear, although unfounded, became something you gave into.  

Immediately the two of them did “see what’s really going on”—saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves.  When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God.  God called to the Man: “Where are you?”  He said, “I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.”  (Genesis 3:7-10 MSG)

There are a bunch of "mechanisms" we use to deal with our fears.  Probably the one we are most familiar with is to become defensive.  You put up some kind of "defensive shield" in order to avoid the onslaught of whatever it is you fear the most.  If we are afraid of our faults - we use defensive mechanisms to "deflect" the attention away from us, such as criticism of others.  We think if we can get the eyes off of us, we are going to be okay.  Truth is, we just turn the eyes back to us - as someone once said, "It takes one to know one!"

Another defensive mechanism we use is blame-shifting.  We focus the attention on another, somehow attempting to justify our faults by focusing on the other person in the relationship.  I have to ask - how's that been working out for you?  Does it build the relationship any to point the finger at another? Not likely.  In fact, it usually tears it down, building walls of defense on both sides.  It becomes a he said/she said kind of thing.  

Still another defensive mechanism to deal with our fears is outright lies.  What?  Christians don't lie, do they?  After all, doesn't it say liars burn in the lake of fire?  Yep, it does, but it doesn't stop us from drifting into lies as a means of putting up defensive barriers which we think will keep our true self from being discovered.  Cleverly responded words may conceal the original offense for a while, but in the long run, it is hard to keep up with the lies - even the tiny ones!

Okay, so how do we deal with our fears?  All those fears of being discovered, fears of being wrong, fears of being at fault, etc. - we have to find a solution to the fear in order to stop putting up the defensive barriers!  First and foremost - sin cannot be concealed for long - so stop trying!  One thing is for sure, we can make all kinds of "coverings" for our sin, but sin is still sin.  One way or another, it will begin to reveal itself!  After all, fig leaves wither in time!

Here's another important thing to remember - what you fear, you usually withdraw from.  If you don't go inside yourself, you go inside something else. You stay longer at work, using work as a defensive mechanism to avoid the conflict at home.  You buy and buy, maxing out your credit cards, or spending down your savings - all in an attempt to deal with the fear of something you believe about yourself, but which has not basis of truth in God's image of you.  Whatever it is you withdraw "into", know this - it is a shoddy defense!  Hurt feelings - whether they are hurt because of something someone did to us, or because of something we did to ourselves - need to be dealt with once and for all.  We don't get beyond them until we confess them - concealing them is just not an option.

I know it is easier said than done - right?  Hearing you need to process stuff instead of burying it is nice in theory, but downright hard in practice.  Learning to stay current - with God, with others, and with yourself is something which takes time, but it is worth it!  Guess what - your conscience has a way of exposing to you where it is you are attempting to hide, withdraw, or even conceal something in your life.  Use it to uncover - not to dig in deeper.  Until we are honest with ourselves, we will continue in our same pattern of digging in and holding out.  Until we are honest with God, we will continue to just spin in our misery.  Just sayin!