Meeting the opposition

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. (Proverbs 3:3-4)

Loyalty and kindness are certainly not the things we see 'delivered' today in so many interactions with others, are they? We find a lot of backstabbing in politics, many rumors flying about the lives and choices of various celebs, and just plain bad manners on our highways and byways at times. Is it possible our culture has forgotten these two 'hallmarks' of "ONE NATION UNDER GOD"?

Write them deep within your heart. Perhaps this is where our departure from simple kindness and unyielding loyalty began - we neglected to hide God's word deep within our hearts. Favor with God took backseat to favor with others. Favor with others seems to only be important if they can 'do' something for us. We forgot that our neighbor is our friend, and our enemy needs our prayers.

Norman Thomas reminded us, "The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the right scale of values." When we align ourselves with those who don't share the same values as we do, they can actually change the 'scale of values' we embrace. It is best to align with those who will elevate our scale of values, helping us to grow deeper in love with Jesus.

It may seem hard to be loyal to the truths of God at times. In fact, there is so much opposition to this type of loyalty, it can even make us frightened to stand up for our beliefs in the face of untruth and hurtful actions. God's desire is for a faithful few who will embrace this life of loyalty to him - a remnant of sorts - then take the outflow of that loyalty into the world. When our loyalty to Jesus meets the opposition of the world, that is where kindness is best exhibited. Just sayin!

Garbage in - garbage out

Be kind and honest and you will live a long life; others will respect you and treat you fairly. 

(Proverbs 21:21)

Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people. (Dennis Prager)

Aesop told us, "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." Being kind and honest may not seem like actions that can move mountains, but I believe with all my heart as Aesop did, no good or kind action is ever wasted. If we want goodness in this world, we must begin to model goodness toward all people. 

I agree with Prager - how we treat others is so very important. We might not think our actions matter all that much, but they add up. One bad, harmful, or wrong action on our part may only seem like a 'drop in the bucket', but when it is compounded by the bad, harmful, or wrong actions of others who 'mimic' our actions, those 'drops' add up!

Integrity is something we live out - it is more than words. The sum total of all our actions reveals the most about what is inwardly transpiring within our heart and mind. One action alone may not reveal much about us, but when we begin to add them all up, there is much revealed about our character. What others 'see' when they look upon any of our hurtful actions may actually be giving them license to do similar bad actions.

Perhaps this is why God always emphasizes being on guard within our lives - allowing his Holy Spirit to temper or control what enters into our lives because it is what directly influences what comes out of our lives. Just sayin!

Got a troublemaker in your life?

Some people are just troublemakers. They are always thinking up some crooked plan and telling lies. They use secret signals to cheat people; they wink their eyes, shuffle their feet, and point a finger. They are always planning to do something bad. But they will be punished. Disaster will strike, and they will be destroyed. There will be no one to help them. (Proverbs 5:12-14)

If you have ever had a troublemaker in your life, you know just how hard it can be to around them for any length of time. You just want to turn and run when you see them because you know nothing good is about to come of the encounter. Wisdom would suggest we avoid them entirely, but we all know it is impossible to never encounter them at all. So, what do we do when we encounter a troublemaker in our lives? If we want to learn how to deal with them, we need only look as far as Christ's example.

Jesus was surrounded by members of the religious leadership, thinking they knew more than he did, always trying to find fault with what he said or did. He didn't just rebuke them and move on - he cared too much for their lost souls. He didn't just 'take it' either - for he knew those of weaker faith needed to hear the message of hope he brought. He answered each one of their unfounded claims with dignity and grace. He didn't shy away from them, he purposefully placed himself in a position where they'd be. 

We also have the instruction given by Paul in Philippians 4:5 to let everyone see our gentleness and kindness, to pray and give God the worries of that relationship or encounter. I have 'shot up' many a quick prayer to him when encountered by a troublemaker, asking not only for wisdom in 'handling' the moment, but to have God intervene in the actions of the troublemaker. When we trust God to 'shut it down', we might just find there comes a 'lull' in the troublemaker's actions that suggests God is intervening. 

We don't want these individuals in our lives, but Galatians 6:1 tells us to always be gentle and attempt to 'make the individual right again' in the relationship. They will cause havoc with the greatest of ease, but our response should always be one of gentleness and grace. When encountered with that 'double-barreled defense' they might just find they have very little sway in our lives. A troublemaker who cannot stir up the trouble they hoped to create is actually undone by such a response. Just sayin!

Be kind AND wise

Be wise in the way you act with those who are not believers. Use your time in the best way you can. When you talk, you should always be kind and wise. Then you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should. (Colossians 4:5-6)

Always be kind and wise. Does that describe your responses to other people you relate to on a frequent basis, much less others who might not know you that well? We have all probably seen those funny memes that depict someone getting on your last nerve, or that one that asks 'did I just say that out loud' kind of humor. The truth of the matter is that we frequently run into situations where we could say something that would not be all the kind or wise, but we 'hold back'. Sometimes it takes more than a little conscious effort to 'hold back', especially when tempers are running high, disappointment abounds, or the 'last nerve' type of stress kicks in.

Be wise in the way you act. I know the passages references the way we should treat those who are unbelievers - who have yet to say yes to Jesus - but it is also very important for us to treat all individuals with courtesy, respect, and sometimes even a bit of 'slack'. Wisdom exercised in relationships might mean we don't always speak all we want to speak or respond with actions that match or outdo the hurtful actions of another. There are just times when it is wiser to 'turn the other cheek' than it is to engage in whatever silliness our emotions might want to lead us into! 

Wisdom in relationships doesn't always come naturally, or all that easily. Sometimes we find ourselves challenged a bit, wanting to stand up for ourselves, and knowing if we do, a tremendous argument will ensue. I was in the doctor's office a few weeks ago when a man came in and began to 'goad' the whole room of people waiting to be seen. First it was his lecture about cell phones and no one looking at each other anymore. Then it got into political discussion. Last, but not least, came the discussion about churches not doing enough to respect the older members of the community by embracing all those new songs and types of worship services. To say the least, it took a great deal of wisdom to avoid jumping into the mess that rant created! There are just times when you'd like to speak, but you know wisdom dictates you shouldn't!

Be kind and wise. If you really stop to think about it, it is pretty difficult to be kind all of the time unless you allow wisdom to dictate your responses. Just sayin!

Not for show

He saw that Jesus gave good answers to their questions. So he asked him, “Which of the commands is the most important?” Jesus answered, “The most important command is this: ‘People of Israel, listen! The Lord our God is the only Lord. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second most important command is this: ‘Love your neighbor the same as you love yourself.’ These two commands are the most important.” (Mark 12:28-31)

Jesus taught anyone who would listen - even the Pharisees and Sadducees - the religious leaders and zealots of the day who were most likely the ones who would challenge everything he would say. They weren't really all that "open" to his teachings; it was more that they wanted to find some way to trip Jesus up in his teaching and discredit him publicly. They were quite jealous of the attention he was getting - after all, they had been the primary "religious" teachers of the day and now they had a little "competition". Our pride is a dangerous thing whenever it puts what we have accomplished, think we know, or even actually do know above the potential of learning truth or seeing truth in a fresh way. The "teacher of the law" saw that Jesus was pretty good at accurately being able to answer the questions and challenges of the group. He asked what he thinks might be the hardest of questions to answer: "Which of the commands is the most important?" Could this have been a 'challenge' to see if Jesus would say something that 'tripped him up' and let the crowds see him as a 'false teacher'? Jesus wasn't stumped by this line of questioning but came back quickly with not only the most important, but the second most important! It is just like Jesus to not only give us what we want, but what we also need!

The answer the teacher wanted was the "most important" command. He didn't expect Jesus to throw in the second most important which actually revealed to the crowds that he had a greater hold on truth than the religious crowd believed he did. Jesus works this way time after time, giving us not only what we ask for, but what we don't even know we have need of. These religious leaders were working hard to discredit him - challenging him with tough questions it had taken them years of study to sort of understand. Baffled by his "brilliance" in answering each and every one of them, they want him to identify what would actually support all the other teachings he had elaborated on up to that point. You see, these religious leaders hadn't treated him, nor those they lived with on a regular basis, with the kindness and dignity God expected. Their religious works were for show, but deep down inside their inner man, their pride got in the way of them really connecting themselves as "equal" with the sinners all around them. In essence, they might have wanted to know what Jesus considered the most important truth, but they needed to understand how they treated others mattered! We can understand truth and still treat others 'differently' or with less kindness than we should. Just sayin!

Forgive and Restore - it is God's way

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)

I know forgiving someone when they have said or done something to hurt you is hard - we all struggle a bit with this one. We might want to say something in return that returns wound for wound, but that rarely works out too well for either of us. We might want to just 'cut them off' and forget about the one who has offended us, but that also doesn't work very well. Probably the last thing we want to do is extend grace, but it is the most effective and godly way for us to deal with one who has offended us. Love prospers when a fault is forgiven. Allow that one to sink in for just a moment. Read it again and let it really grip you. Love - sacrificial, peace-loving, kindness - actually grows out of forgiveness. It is as though forgiveness is the fertilizer that helps the relationship grow. This type of love does not dwell on the wrong - although that may be our first instinct. Remember, that instinct is 'human' and God asks us to see the other person through his eyes - with grace being the very 'lens' by which he views us.

This type of love does not rehearse the wrong, although it may be hard in a 'human sense' to allow God to replace the way we think about the offense with the way he sees the other individual. This type of peace seeks to maintain relationship rather than forsake it. Forgiveness has no room for broken relationships - it works to remove any distance that is created when hurts are allowed to interfere with the closeness God intends for his children. Does this type of love forgive even when the other individual doesn't seek forgiveness? It might be hard to accept, but there are just times when the other person has no clue how much they have offended you. The shoe could the on the other foot tomorrow, and you won't know how much your actions offend someone else. How would you want them to treat you? I imagine you want forgiveness, to be restored, and to have the relationship flourish, not flounder. Grace is desired. Dwell on God's goodness and grace, not on the offense or the offender.

To keep bringing up the offense is to allow a separation to come within the relationship. Maybe this is why God reminds us to not let the sun go down on our anger. Get right with God, then get right with each other. As long as God's children dwell upon this earth, there will always be a call for forgiving action. As long as there are offenses, real or imagined, there will be a call to forgive and restore. It is God's way. Just sayin!

No pulpit pounding here

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. (Galations 5:13)

Do you indulge yourself once in a while? It may not take much indulgence to actually meet our needs, but when we do indulge we need to make sure it is for the right reasons.
By definition, to indulge is to allow yourself to follow your own will. Herein is the problem - most of the time our "will" isn't very reliable! We give into our own will and find we are traveling down a path we'd just have soon avoided. When we "indulge", we yield to something which demands to be satisfied. In the end, we may be satisfying a much needed thing, but we must weigh our "urges" up front to ensure we are yielding to the RIGHT things.

We are called to live "free" lives - not governed any longer by each and every urge of our old nature. You know the nature I mean - that one which caused us to always demand our own way, doing things which fulfill all our own desires, but often neglects to see the desires of any higher authority in our life or count the cost of those desires up front. Maybe this is why we need this frequent reminder to live free, but to not use that freedom to indulge our fleshly desires. In essence any time we respond to the desire to do things independent of Christ's counsel in our lives, we are taking our freedom to an extreme that he never intended.

If we bite and devour each other, we are not using our freedom in the correct manner. I think this may be the one way we use our "freedom" to the extreme - we think we can look down on the actions of another (almost in judgment) because we think we have a better vantage point or something they don't quite have to the same degree. Freedom in Christ is never intended to divide, but unite. Whenever we use our freedom in a manner which sets us out as "elite" or "better than" we are operating in the realm of the flesh and have reverted to acting in a way which is unbecoming a follower of Christ. We don't need to condone sin in our midst, but we also don't need to nit-pick the beliefs of another which may not be as well developed or slightly different from our own.

We must maintain biblical truth - this is paramount to being a follower in Christ. Yet, when we become so focused on the "letter of the law" that we don't see the person struggling to make sense of the law for themselves, we miss the intent of grace in the first place. Maybe this is why churches seek to set out a "seeker friendly" framework by which they operate these days. We have moved away from suit and tie, panty hose and dresses, choir robes and pulpits. It is not such a bad thing! What we have done is opened the doors to those who don't feel comfortable in suits, panty hose, or with pulpit pounding! Not a bad thing, in my book. As long as we never compromise the elemental truths of scripture to become "seeker friendly", we are not violating any principles as Christ would have taught them. In fact, he commends us being able to become all things for all men. Just sayin!

Management Position Open

I said to myself, “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.” But as I stood there in silence—not even speaking of good things—the turmoil within me grew worse. The more I thought about it, the hotter I got, igniting a fire of words... (Psalm 39:1-3)

Have you ever tried to NOT say something, only to find the harder you try NOT to say it, the more you THINK about it? You mull those words over and over in your mind, trying to figure out if you can find another way to say it, but all the while you are aware those words just shouldn't be spoken no matter how you form them. It always amazes me how 'hard' we can try and how 'easy' it is to let loose! The more we 'mull', the more we will 'spew' - it might not be a verse from the bible, but you can take that one to the bank!

These negative words we mull upon actually create a kind of turmoil within - much like that of a funnel cloud. We get all 'worked up' and before long, we are bringing words into the thoughts that don't even relate to the stuff we are mulling upon. It is like they get 'caught up' into the turmoil of other words, all of them mixing together, until it is a jumble of thoughts all colliding within our minds. The 'cloud' is building into quite a storm! Try to hold back a tornado and you find the 'force' isn't easily contained - neither are our words.

What we think eventually leads to how we will act. That is the danger in trying to 'manage' all these thoughts on our own. We don't actually 'manage' well! We are one of the worst managers our minds have ever encountered. We need God's help if we are to be 'managed well', my friends. We might think we have developed some good 'management strategies' when it comes to our thoughts and words, but just think back to the last time you said something that ignited a disagreement. How were your 'management skills' in that moment? If you are anything like me, you knew you had just poured kerosene on an open flame!

David says something here that we might just miss. He points toward 'speaking of good things' - in other words, bringing God's Word into the mix of all the jumble of thoughts within. I have come to the conclusion that when God's Word is 'rehearsed' (mulled over) in those moments of irrational and muddle thoughts, the tendency to 'pick up' all the other 'muddled thoughts' is less. We don't see the 'funnel cloud of emotions' grow bigger and bigger. We see 'rational' replace 'irrational' and 'kindness' replace 'anger'. 

We may not be the right ones to manage our words because we have all that emotional baggage trying to get 'picked up' into the mix, but we have been given the wisdom found in the Word of God to help keep that emotional baggage in its place. We have been given the Holy Spirit to help us recall that wisdom and then to help us 'rehearse' it rather than the garbage we allow to get caught up in our minds. We need to be under 'proper management' if we want to see any control over our thoughts and words. That management position belongs to Christ - not us. Just sayin!

One Stone in the Path

Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others. (Colossians 3:12)

Since - indicating a condition has already been met. We are chosen - conditions met entirely through the death, burial and resurrection of Christ Jesus. Given a new kind of life - no longer bound by our past way of thinking and doing things. That might just come as a bit of relief to some who have been feeling like their past keeps haunting them, bringing them more than a fair share of grief and shame. All conditions have been met - that past has been wiped away by the blood of Jesus, but our minds might just hold onto those memories of the past a little too much. The more we learn about the grace of God, the more we will realize our past is just that - past.

We live a 'new kind of life' - because of his deep love and concern for each of us. The more we learn of God's love, the more we will realize just how forgiving it has been and continues to be on our behalf. This new kind of life is to be filled with the grace of God, creating both the desire and the ability to practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others. The more we lean into God's grace, the more his grace oozes out of us and begins to be revealed in our actions. This is what God wants from - outright kindness and forgiving mercy toward others. 

What does tenderhearted mercy actually look like? It means we are compassionate - recognizing the needs of others and moving to alleviate that need whenever possible. It is also us being charitable to others - not rushing into judgment about their actions or words. This might be a tough task for some, but for those who are called into this new life, there comes a deep desire to share the love and grace of God with those who need to experience it as deeply as we have. This is why God asks us to be merciful - for mercy involves recognizing a need, reaching out to meet it, meeting the other more than half-way. 

We are to be thoughtful of others, but how do we develop this thoughtfulness toward others? Is it natural after we come into this relationship with Christ? A little bit, but even a small amount of compassion and kindness must be nurtured to grow. It is easy to judge the actions of another - oftentimes inaccurately. Ask God to give you a 'people filter' that helps you to recognize more than the immediate action - to see the value of the individual in spite of the offensive action. When you begin to see them through this 'filter', you begin to find ways to love them back even when their actions may not have been all that kind. Why? God not only met the conditions for you, but he met the conditions for their heart, as well. Your kindness may be the very first stone on the path to them meeting Jesus. Just sayin!

A reminder from Shakespeare

William Shakespeare admonished us to, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." These are more than just good words of advice. Take them apart and you might just see a few principles you'd like to live by. Love all - isn't this what Jesus said when he reminded us to, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"? (Matthew 22:37-39)

Trust a few - scripture reminds us not to trust a fool, but always to trust God. Remember: "A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart." (Luke 6:43-45)

Do wrong to none - this is probably one of the most controversial things Shakespeare could have challenged us with, right? We 'get' how we are to love one another, and even how we are to trust those who reveal themselves as trustworthy but getting to the place that we actually 'do wrong to no one' is hard, especially when we have been wronged. Doesn't scripture remind us, "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord." (Romans 12:19)

Shakespeare may have found three of the hardest things for us to accomplish in life - being a kind and loving person to all we encounter, be wise in our placement of trust, and not returning a wrong with another wrong. If he could challenge us with these 'life actions', how much more do you think God will challenge us? Just askin!

A laden soul

May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to you, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

John Maxwell reminds us, "People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude." What does your attitude say today? Does it reveal your tiredness or frustration? Does it shine forth with encouragement and hope? We actually 'choose' our attitude, but we would like to blame our attitude on others or circumstances. If it is bad, we blame it on the bad stuff happening in our lives. If it is jubilant, we attribute it to the good stuff going on around us. Spoken words reveal much, but our unspoken thoughts often come across in our attitude. Don't believe me? When was the last time you looked at your posture when you are in the depths of thought about something that is giving you a bit of trouble? How is your posture when you are well-rested versus weary from a lack of the proper rest? Your posture might just reveal a bit of that 'inner thought' attitude you have going on right now!

When both our spoken words and unspoken thoughts are influenced by the Spirit of God within us, we are more likely to reveal an attitude of grace, love, and forgiveness. Those three things go a long, long way toward elevating one's attitude! They can unburden even the most laden of souls. Holding onto a grudge - the feeling that you have been wronged - will just lead to a 'laden attitude'. Your inner thoughts will betray your outward facade. What you believe about the other person will eventually come through loud and clear even when you don't say a thing! Love generously, forgive freely, and give grace where it is least deserved - then see what that does to lighten your burden. 

In closing today, I'd like us to each answer the questions posed by clergyman Henri Nouwen: "Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come." What fruit will you bear today isn't just revealed in your spoken words - the real fruit may be hidden in the recesses of your unspoken thoughts. Let the Spirit of God lead you into those recesses today - bringing to light any area where you are holding onto things that only serve to burden your soul. Then let go. Just sayin!

With, not to

 Congenial conversation—what a pleasure! The right word at the right time—beautiful! (Proverbs 15:23)

Agreeable conversation is usually quite enjoyable, is it not? Start to get a little 'testy' in conversation and the sparks can fly, or the doors slam shut quickly in that relationship. Why? People don't really like conflict all that much - congenial words go a lot further than unkind ones. Truthful words can hurt from time to time, though. There is a time and a place for those 'right words' at the 'right time' - when that time and place presents itself, the outcome is awesome. 

What makes for 'congenial' conversation? The 'spirit' of the words is correct - in other words, the feeling and 'temper' of the words is kind, thoughtful, and truthful. What makes for 'argument inducing' words? The 'spirit' of the words is harsh - hateful, distasteful, unkind, or cold words that actually have a purpose of hurting another. Some of our 'truthful' words can be both 'congenial' and then be equally 'harsh' at times, right? It depends on the context of the conversation, the person we are speaking them to, and the timing of those words.

God's plan is for his kids to learn how to speak with each other (not 'to' each other) in a kind, well-intentioned, and 'right-spirited' manner. That takes some doing on our parts - because we have to learn to weigh our words before we speak them. Not always the easiest task, is it? How many of you are like me and speak before you think at times? You almost caught the words before you said them, but out they came and then it was too late to retrieve them! Conversation 'with' another is not the same as 'talking to' another. 

God's plan involves listening, thinking, and being in tune with his Spirit as we speak with each other. That may take some doing, but when I have asked the Holy Spirit to direct my words, he does exactly that. Instead of just plugging along oblivious to my words, I have taken the tact of asking for the Holy Spirit's presence with me all the time! That means my words are more likely to be 'filtered' correctly throughout the day. It is not a one time prayer to be with me when I speak - it is a continual submission of my words and thoughts to his leading. In turn, he is 'with' me as I converse with God and he is 'with' me as I converse with you! Just sayin!

A hard pill to swallow

 Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:18)

We have a lot of things in this life that we 'seek', but not all of them are to be 'attained' - especially when the thing we seek is revenge. God wants us to know there is but one who 'metes out' justice. The issue with 'revenge' when we seek it or take it - we aren't 'portioning out' justice - we are concerned with ensuring the individual we have issue with receives a portion of not so great stuff! Bearing a grudge is a very easy thing and it is a more common occurrence with our peers than we may realize. Why? We haven't learned to let go when we feel we have been 'wronged' by another. It could be we 'feel' we are 'deserved' a different outcome, but if we hold onto what we 'feel' at that moment, we open the doorway to bitterness developing a stronghold. This is why God warns his people very early on in their relationship with him - don't seek revenge - let go of the wrongs done against you.

Love your neighbor - we have to be told this, but do we have to be told to love ourselves? Sometimes we need to hear both because we have not developed a great sense of 'liking' ourselves. If you struggle to 'like' some part of your character, you are not alone. Many have something in their character that 'bugs' them a bit - from their quickness to jump to conclusions to something within their appearance. How can these things keep us from loving our neighbor? If we are honest, we are critical of the things in others that we see as flaws in our own character, or else we become disgruntled that another is 'better' in some sense than we see ourselves.

You and I bring those things to Christ and he reminds us we are made in his image. To some, that is a hard pill to swallow - because we see those things that 'bug us' and we don't understand how he brings anything good out of them. When I learned I could take my tendency to be fearful of those things I don't fully appreciate in my character and turn them into kind ways of helping others, I realized Christ could use those things. I found I didn't need to be sarcastic as a means to 'cover up' flaws in my character because when I am, I negate the good work God wants to do in that area as he works to bring beauty out of ashes in that area of my life.

Next time you begin to consider the things in your character that aren't exactly as 'good' as you'd like them to be, take them to Jesus instead of finding fault in others who reveal that same character in themselves. In time, you will come to see what God is doing in you and guess what - - - he is probably doing something similar in those others who bug you with very similar character flaws. God isn't going to exact revenge - he is going to show us and those others how his justice brings out the best in each of us. Love him first, then let him show you how to love others as we come to love ourselves "IN HIM". Just sayin!

A little 'thought talk'

Kindness in words creates confidence. 

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. 

Kindness in giving creates love. 

(Lao Tzu)

I will be a little bit transparent here because I think being honest helps us all grow. There are times when the words I want to speak are not the right or best ones to speak. The words that are about to come out of my mouth are just not all that uplifting and they likely will do nothing 'good' if spoken. Been there? There are times the actions I want to take are less than kind. In fact, they border on being rude, ridiculous, or obnoxious. Been at that point? There are moments when I just don't want to give anything else because I feel like I have given enough or have nothing more to give. I bet if you haven't experienced either one of the form ones, you may have experienced that one. We all get to a place at times when 'kindness' is just the foremost thought, action, or attitude that we display. No matter how 'good' we are - we have moments when get a little too catty (slightly malicious and spiteful), or perhaps dwell on something in our minds way too long and for all the wrong reasons. If we live and breathe on this planet earth, with others who live and breathe on this planet earth, we will likely experience these moments together from time to time. It is part of us being human. God asks us to do one thing - watch our talk. Why? Words matter - they build up or tear down; create or destroy; give life or take it away.

Watch your talk! No bad words should be coming from your mouth. Say what is good. Your words should help others grow as Christians. (Ephesians 4:29)

I think I shared this story before, but a wise teacher once told our class that we would all be very surprised what our 'talk' was really like if we'd carry a small tape recorder in our pocket all day recording everything we said. As we would play it back, we might just come to realize how many times we find ourselves talking smack about ourselves or another. It is possible our conversations that day revealed a little bit of insecurity on our part, or that we actually 'worked our words' to undermine something another was doing or saying. Words reveal a great deal about what is in the soul, my friends. That was the purpose of the exercise - to reveal to us what it was that we spent our day 'talking' about. In the end, some of us in that class walked out a little ashamed by how self-focused we were, while others left worried they were being way to hard on someone in their life. The lesson wasn't very 'flattering' to say the least - it revealed something that we may have not known because we rarely 'listen' to our own words!

We are not all going to carry around a pocket recorder to figure out how we are speaking, are we? Yet, there is a lesson in that experiment that pretty much confirmed most of us don't 'watch our talk' very well. We talk without thinking - merely allowing those words to 'get out there' without much forethought as to how they will be received by others hearing them. Our words are supposed to build up, not tear down. Did you ever stop to consider that sarcasm is a means of tearing down someone? Our words are supposed to create an atmosphere rich in all things that contribute to growth and positive development. Did you ever say something cruel or unkind that you know 'stunted' the growth for at least a little while? Words are powerful - that is why God tells us to watch them. It isn't a suggestion - it is a command. We are to watch our talk, but did you ever stop to think that words you don't say may be equally as important as the ones you do say?

Even the words we form in our thoughts are important to 'monitor'. Listen to the wrong words long enough in your own mind and they will begin to 'color' the other words you do speak! We don't learn to speak truth until we recognize a lie when it is spoken. We don't appreciate true words of encouragement until we realize the insincerity of some 'encouraging words'. We might just benefit from taking our 'thought talk' to another level - actually 'talking it out' with God himself. In so doing, we might just find the words we have been thinking aren't all that edifying to ourselves or others. We need God to help us change our thought talk as much as we need him to change or 'temper' our 'outward talk'. Just sayin!

Nameless, unremembered acts of kindness

The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.(William Wordsworth)

Take a moment today to just think of one kind act you can do for someone in your life. Who knows, it may even be someone you don't know, like the person with a flat tire stranded on the side of the road. Don't just do that kind deed because you may get something back in return - that doesn't make it a kind deed - it makes it a selfish one. The moment you do that kind deed, take notice of how it makes you feel. There is something like a feeling that the love of God in your life just multiplied. You know what - it isn't that his love multiplied in your life - it is that your sense of his presence did. You put yourself aside for a moment and allowed him to shine. 

Last of all, you must share the same thoughts and the same feelings. Love each other with a kind heart and with a mind that has no pride. (I Peter 3:8)

There is a definite difference between the 'nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love' and those we do because we want the attention, or desire something in return. As I was listening to the remade intro to Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, I recall the scene of introducing a new friend - a man who was very badly messed up by life's ugliness, leaving him angry and unable to forgive people in his life. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us that we are to forgive others as Christ forgave us. If you consider the ultimate act of kindness, the forgiveness of our sins would rank at the very top, wouldn't it? If you consider the ultimate act of kindness you might be called to extend today, it could be that someone in your life desires and needs the gift of your forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the ultimate act of kindness - it certainly requires we put ourselves aside and allow God to shine through us, doesn't it? Pride has absolutely no room where it comes to forgiveness. In fact, pride enters in anytime we desire to hold someone in a position of being 'in debt' to us - allowing bitterness to enter in and bring right along with it rage, anger, feelings of agony. We stay trapped in the bitterness - chained to the past. Not only does it chain us to the past, it anchors us to be unable to move on into the future. We only heal as we let go of the thing we are holding onto so tightly because we feel we will lose something we are owed if we let it go.

Loving each other with a kind heart and with a mind that has no pride - the ultimate act of kindness and love being that of forgiveness. It can be a nameless, unremembered act, can it not? Letting go of the hurt, releasing the debt, getting free of the chains that have you so badly bound - an act of kindness and love indeed. Who needs this "action" in your life today? What thing have you been holding onto so tightly because you think there is something 'owed to you'? If you resist, you will shut-down and your kindness will be superficial. If you submit, you will find that your world opens up to you in bright new ways. Just sayin!

Right place - Right time

Are there times when you feel like someone has you right where they want you? You are probably not being paranoid! In fact, scripture declares God has us right where he wants us - in the place where he is free to shower grace and kindness upon our lives. If you stop to consider the potential in those words you might just stand in awe and wonder how a great big God could care enough about one small human in the scheme of millions upon millions upon millions of humans. You might not fully comprehend the depth of his love, or how far it will go to see a life touched just as it needs to be touched, but that doesn't keep him from showering grace and kindness in immeasurable amounts day after day in your life!

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. (Ephesians 2:8-9 MSG)

As important as it is for us to remember we don't play the major role in grace coming into our lives, it is equally as important for us to remember God isn't finished in the grace department. We need a continual renewal of his grace in our lives. It is in this renewal process that we begin to 'join him in the work he does'. The 'work' begins with grace, is renewed by grace, and remains because of grace. There are good things he has planned for our lives - through grace and his kindness he readies us for those things. Sometimes I think we want to just sit around and enjoy our grace - God has a different plan in mind. He wants us to use that grace in ways only we are capable of using and displaying it. 

God doesn't waste any experience - in fact, he transforms the things some might label as 'bad' or 'horrible' in an experience in our lives. It isn't that he changes the experience - he changes what we get out of it by his grace. We might be ridiculed, but he takes those small truths in someone's ridiculing message and applies grace to show us just where and how we may be able to change something within our character that helps us display Christ better. We might be held back from promotion, but he applies grace and shows us ways in which we were intended to be right where we are right now (perhaps because he knew the instability in that position we wanted so badly).

Grace never finishes its work in our lives. Grace is needed to help when our words have created chaos in our day. Grace is required when we haven't a clue where to go or what to do next because we have made a muddle of a situation. Grace is granted each time we just take a moment to breathe in God's presence in our lives. Grace has a 'countering effect' - it soothes, sets straight, realigns, creates peace. The work we are to be doing is found in becoming instruments of that grace in this world - to be the 'countering effect' in someone else's hurting life. We sometimes think we are never in the right place at the right time, but in God's timing and with his help, we become the extension of his grace and kindness where and when it is most needed. It may not seem like much, but each display of his grace is actually a stepping stone for someone else's journey toward grace! Just sayin!

But...you weren't being nice!

We probably all know how easy it is to be nice to nice people, but tell us to be nice to someone who isn't being nice back and we just wanna throttle both of you! The idea of being nice to someone who isn't being nice is like fingernails on a chalkboard - it gets our dander up and we just wanna scream! The idea of loving our neighbor isn't all that hard - but ask us to spend the 'energies' of prayer on our enemy and we might just think that is the biggest waste of our time. After all, can a leopard change his stripes? Our enemy will always be our enemy - right? They will always act as foolishly as they have been - right? Things aren't going to change - or are they? Maybe the change might not happen with them, but with us!

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that." Matthew 5:43-45 MSG

Some would propose there is not end to the 'hard stuff' God asks us to do in the course of our lifetime. This idea of praying for our enemy ranks up there as one of the harder ones, doesn't it? After all, they earned the title of 'enemy' for some reason - there was some action, attitude, or animosity shared that set things on edge between the two of us. We don't want to encourage them, so why would we respond with any kindness toward them? Wouldn't that just enrage them and make them behave toward us in an even more 'enemy-like' manner? Maybe so, but in turn, God asks us to respond with even more energies of prayer. Perhaps that single action is not so much for our enemy as it is for us - because God doesn't want us to form any sense of resentment and bitterness toward them!

Resentment and bitterness is all about us - although we may want to blame the other guy for it existing, it is entirely our own doing. Bitterness and resentment are rooted in our own reaction to our enemy - not necessarily in the actions of our enemy. We form anger, respond in unkind ways, and in time, we come to 'hate' what the other person stands for or who they are as a person. We don't let that 'hatred' end with them, though. In time, we begin to 'hate' what has become of us in our attitude toward them and others like them. We are angry and resentful - and that spills over - in time, affecting other relationships that should not have been affected. 

A 'hard time' is given - what is your response? Isn't it based on where you are at that moment? If you are well-rested and kind of in a 'good mood', aren't you a little more likely to let it just pass? If you are tired and kind of grumpy because of all the effort you have put into your day, aren't you less likely to let it pass - probably! You can see how our response could be very 'situational' - it depends on us a great deal. Maybe this is why Jesus emphasizes US taking the issue to God in prayer - with some energies exerted in prayer. The 'situation' may just change a little when we get our attitude right and our heart renewed - and there is no better place to do that than in times of prayerful consideration before God.

I know I begin to prayer for my enemy by complaining a whole lot about him or her. This is only natural, after all, and God doesn't mind me getting things out into the open with him. He respects that I need that time to 'deflect' a little by telling him why I am angry with the individual. But...rest assured, he isn't going to let me 'deflect' very long. Jesus is going to let the tides of those prayers change a little, bouncing those words of complaint right back onto my hearing ears. In rather short order, he shows ME just where I need the greatest amount of adjustment in the situation. What began as a complaint AGAINST my enemy becomes an acknowledgement of MY need for help to be the light of Jesus TOWARD my enemy. 

It may be that we feel like we aren't good enough to respond this way, but let me just begin by saying we all begin somewhere. For some of us, it will be in bringing our complaints to God, instead of sharing those with another who doesn't need to hear all about our circumstances with that individual. To others, it may come when we stop complaining just long enough to consider the other person's own naivety in the situation. Regardless of what is revealed to us in prayer, it begins by us beginning to talk - not so much to others or even our enemy - but to God about our enemy. Amazingly, we may find the conversation begins to focus not so much on the enemy as it does on our response toward our enemy. In short order, God shows us how to responds in kindness, even when others aren't being kind toward us. Just sayin! 

A conversation with God

A conversation I have had with God: Now I have you where I want you - but where exactly might that be? Under my thumb, so I can squash every idea you have? No. Under my feet, so I can walk all over you? No. Under my interrogating eye, so I can critically scrutinize your every move? No. So, where is it you have me, God? Right here - next to my heart - so you can understand my hopes for you, feel my heartbeat in unison with yours, and draw from my grace whenever you need it.

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish!  (Ephesians 2:8 MSG)

I don't mean to criticize anyone here, but I think we might just have a wrong view of where we 'stand' with God on occasion. There are times we think we are under his thumb - just being held back from every good thing we want to explore. The truth is we probably have no idea what looks so good on the outside doesn't really look all that good once we are into it. I cut open 4 out of 5 red mangoes this week in hopes of enjoying their juiciness, only to realize they had likely been frozen at the grocer. They were brown and without any good taste at all. On the outside, they appeared very much like they should, enticing me to enjoy them. On the inside, they were disgusting. When God "squelches" a plan we might have been concocting, it is likely he knows the plan better than we do and he is protecting us!

At other times, we believe God has his foot on our throats, holding us captive so we can never enjoy freedom again. It could just be the type of 'freedom' we want isn't really freedom at all. While at my grandson's school this week, I noticed a very large aquarium which housed a bearded dragon lizard. There was plenty of rock at the bottom, wood to climb upon and perch for a while, and even plenty of food and water. Yet, that lizard could see a vast world beyond those glass walls - a world it wasn't able to explore - one I wonder if he desired to know. It is quite possible there is more we aren't experiencing in the freedom we desire, but that might not provide us with any greater freedom or protection than we already are enjoying. It is possible the picture of freedom we imagine isn't going to produce a true freedom - it is more of an illusion.

God does see us and he knows our every move - so being under his watchfulness may seem a little 'intrusive' at times. Especially when we feel that conviction that comes from having moved into a place he doesn't really desire for us to explore. I like to explore the original meaning of phrases we have used for years and years, but have no real insight into the real meaning behind them. One such phrase came because mom asked me what it meant. The phrase "naked as a jaybird" made her curious because she knows jaybirds have feathers, so how could one be naked if clothed in feathers? As I looked it up, we found it carried a totally different meaning than we imagined - naked as a J-bird is the real phrase. It stems from the term given a prisoner arriving at the jailhouse, being asked to strip naked, and then showered with strong chemicals so as to remove any 'critters' they may be carrying. Then the prisoner would have to walk to their 'accommodations' naked. Hence, 'naked as a J-bird'. Being naked is a little 'intrusive' to me, but being in prison would be a whole lot more concerning! I think being open to his watchful eye far outweighs the latter! 

God's joy doesn't come in being domineering or unjust. It doesn't come in being critical or intrusive. It comes in those moments we experience his tremendous love and enjoy the peace of his presence. Just sayin!

You committed?

If you have ever had that individual in your life who just sets you on edge the moment they open their mouth to speak, you know how hard it can be to spend time with them, or even to want to engage in conversation with them. What frustrates you the most is the seeming inability of the individual to take the hint and just change what it is which bothers you the most.  Most of the time people aren't too good at taking hints - they need a direct, honest, and "tempered" response to whatever it is they are doing or saying which gives you such an issue in the first place.  We all think someone will get our hints, then wonder why they continue to act as they do - setting you into a bundle of pent up frustration and emerging hostility toward them.  Well, it may not be them who needs to change as much as it may need to be you!

A gentle answer makes anger disappear, but a rough answer makes it grow. (Proverbs 15:1 ERV)

I haven't mastered this by any means, but I have learned there are times when I need to let go of the things which seem to grate on my nerves about the other guy.  In fact, as soon as I realize they haven't a clue they are grating on that last nerve is when I see the futility in me being as concerned about it.  We probably have seen the little cartoon where the guy looks all frazzled and he has one or two hairs stick up on end with the caption which reads:  "I had one nerve left this morning, and you just got on it."  It seems like that whenever we encounter these tough people in life, but they don't purposefully look for that one nerve, you know.  If we were to be honest here, they had no clue the type of day we have had, or the lack of sleep we might have had the night before. They don't know your looming deadlines, nor do they appreciate the traffic you went through to get from point A to point B today.  The issue isn't in their not knowing - it is in our not sharing.

In essence, we wait until someone gets to the point of driving us nuts and then we unload a good one on them.  Now, I have to ask, "How ya doing with that one?"  If you are like I am, you feel worse after you say whatever it is you say, or unload your sorry state of frustration on them full-force.  I used to be this terrible "gunny-sack" kind of person - holding up all my frustrations toward a person until just that "right moment", and then unloading the full bundle on them all at once.  The garbage which came out when I did almost always made me feel worse, not better.  Why?  You cannot regurgitate stuff and have it taste good in your mouth!  It just isn't possible.  That which got putrid in the "sack" will also be putrid when it is let out of the sack!

Some things I have learned over the years which help to keep me from the boiling point, or from the unnecessarily hurtful responses are:

- Remain "current" in your relationships.  It is pretty devastating to a relationship to be going on along as though nothing is the matter and then come to find out someone has been holding all this stuff inside them which never got dealt with at the time.  This is the principle taught behind the scriptural exhortation to never let the sun go down on your anger.  It festers and becomes putrid within you.  When it eventually comes out, it has a different form than when the issue first happened.  I have a compost pile.  The stuff I put in there a couple of weeks ago doesn't look at all like it looked when I put it in there. The heat of the day, invading insects, and the other factors which impact the stuff I put in there under "dark cover" all change whatever I put in there.  The same is true of the stuff we bury in our lives.  There are forces at work which take what we put in there and warp it into something no longer akin to what it is we first were taking issue with.

- Be kind in your response.  It may take you a little practice on this one, but you don't have to be two-faced about it - you just have to be genuine, and then rely upon Jesus to help you be kind in your response.  You will learn kindness at the feet of Jesus.  I often lift up a little (and very quick) prayer to him to just ask him to "temper" my response.  I want to say something like, "How stupid is that" or "Would you just think before you speak", but that isn't kindness responding.  What it is might just be akin to bitterness, pride, or manipulation. If we begin to examine our less than kind responses, in the light of the Word of God and the help of the Spirit of God within, we might come to the conclusion we have a little root of pride which manifests in the "better than thou" kind of curt responses we are returning to someone.  If we find we are kind of nasty in our responses, we may just discover we have been burying a lot of stuff which has just built up into full-fledged bitterness.  Regardless of what we discover, it is about "us", not the "other guy".  This is the place the transition between anger and kindness takes place - with us first, then in expression to the "other guy".

These aren't rocket-science, but they are true, nonetheless.  Relationships are hard and the best ones will endure the bumblings of our foolishness.  The ones which just don't endure are those who are made up of one or more individuals who cannot take an introspective look on occasion, recognize the need for change, and then really commit to the change.  Just sayin!

Another word picture

Do you ever come across those sayings in the Bible that you just cannot figure out?  In one sense, you look at what is said, thinking it might mean one thing, but in the time it was written it meant something entirely different. We aren't sheep herders by trade in the Middle East living about 2,000-3,000 years ago, so some of the practices and things said about shepherds just don't make a whole lot of sense.  We think the term, "...the sheep know his voice..." is referring to some form of obedience on the part of Christ's followers.  In one sense, it could imply this, but in reality, the shepherd would take the newborn lamb, sling it across his shoulders, carrying it there for a period of time until it got used to his voice.  Then he'd set it down to walk with the rest of the sheep.  In those days, they didn't herd sheep with horses and lots of sheep dogs.  They simply called for the sheep, and because they knew the shepherds tone of voice, they followed.  A little different meaning when you understand the background, right?  The knowledge of "word pictures" and their symbolism is important to help us interpret passages of scripture correctly.

If your enemies are hungry, give them something to eat.  And if they are thirsty, give them something to drink.  This will be the same as piling burning coals on their heads.  And the Lord will reward you.  (Proverbs 25:21-22 CEV)

Today's "word picture" is that of giving our enemies food and drink to satisfy their hunger and thirst.  Not top of my list in how I would want to treat an enemy.  We are told to consider their needs and then to meet them. It becomes apparent that God is reminding us to not hold grudges, to rise above the circumstances, and to trust him with the work of retaliation (if there is to be any at all).  Then we come to this word picture of "piling burning coals on their heads" and we are back to trying to figure out what is really being said here because piling hot coals on someone's head actually could burn them! God has just told us to treat our enemies in an "uncommon" manner - by feeding them and giving them drink - meeting their needs.  Now he wants us to pile hot coals on their head?  What's up with that?

In the times this was written, a man's fire was everything.  It was what gave his home light, warmed the chilly rock and clay walls at night, and provided a means to cook his food.  Without the fire, the home would be in danger of having their basic needs neglected.  In asking us to pile burning coals on their heads, God was asking us to be sensitive to the basic needs of our enemies, returning their lack of kindness with the most basic of kindnesses.  Food, drink, and a means to provide what was needed for their household.  In the times of yesteryear, the people would have large, thick ceramic bowls which would fit nicely on their heads.  They could go to one neighbor, procure some of the hot coals from their fire, and restart their own by bringing back a bowl of those coals.  This word picture is just another way of reminding us to care for our enemies as though they were our closest friends.

Why?  I think God knows how much this "kind" treatment will baffle our enemies.  You see, our enemies expect us to return an unkindness with bitterness, hurtfulness, and even anger.  They do not expect us to return their plethora of unkindness with kindnesses due to a close friend!  In turn, they not only cannot figure us out, but they get a little convicted by the return of kindness.  Our kindness is like a two-edged sword:  It keeps us from developing unwholesome thoughts and attitudes toward our enemies; and it baffles the hearts of those who seek to do us wrong.  When God tells us to feed, provide drink, and give hot coals to our enemies, he is actually telling us to take up a "weapon" in our arsenal of love which will bring our enemies face-to-face with God's grace in action!  Who knew!

Now, lest you think I have this all figured out and get this down perfectly each time someone does something to me which is hurtful and unkind, I don't!  I am still learning this whole process, as well.  We are in this boat together, my friends.  I don't think this is the easiest principle to learn - because retaliation is much easier!  As humans, we drift to the easiest first!  Then God has to undo what we have done!   Whenever we respond as God is asking, he doesn't have any "undoing" to do on our part - in fact, he can "do again" what we have done in kindness and baffle our enemies even more!  So, as we are learning this "kindness for unkindness" life lesson, just know this - our enemies are going to be more confused by our kindness than our anger; more "offset" by our giving spirit than our retaliation; and more inclined to wonder about this thing called grace than in finding more ways to hurt us!  Kindness shuts down their unkindness - maybe not the first time, but when it is repeated time and time again, they have to walk away in defeat.  They did not accomplish what they set out to accomplish - for blessing was not what they wanted to accomplish!  Just sayin!