Writing a new story

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. (Seneca)

So don’t remember what happened in earlier times. Don’t think about what happened a long time ago, because I am doing something new! (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Does the past seem to disappoint you? Sometimes the pain from the past lingers well into the present, making it almost impossible for us to escape the disappointment we have experienced. Disappointment doesn't always come from an action of another - it frequently is linked to some action we have taken ourselves. If someone else has brought the disappointment, it is well past the time to forgive and move on. If you have caused that deep disappointment, it is time you confess it, relinquish it to God, and begin to move forward, don't you think?

God's plan has always been to keep us focused forward, not on what lies behind. He isn't doing the 'new thing' in the past, he is doing it in the present. Forward-focused individuals find it difficult to hold onto things that only clutter their memories and flood their emotions with unhealthy hormones. They desire to be free, and they take steps to live free. Those who want to remain rear facing will only find the disappointment growing deeper and the anguish of emotional attachment to that disappointment growing, as well. No one should live bound to the past - it is history (HIS Story) - let him deal with it and rewrite the pages of your life as he sees you NOW.

Some other beginning's end - there is always an end, but sometimes it means we have to let go of the thing that has ended in order to be embraced by the new that has come. It is only as we let go that we are free to be embraced fully. Try being embraced by someone when your arms are full of a pile of linens. Can they fully embrace you? Not really. Can you return the embrace? Nope. So, in order to be fully embraced, you have to let go of what you are carrying. The disappointment of yesterday has absolutely no place in the new thing God is doing in your life today. It happened - it is over - now it is time to move on. Just sayin!

Finally time

Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good. If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I will pay it back, says the Lord. Instead, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing this, you will pile burning coals of fire upon his head. Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)

The "payback" for some of our misdeeds or meddling into affairs we should have left alone may be coming! I have learned that payback is really not something I like or want! When I stop going where I shouldn't, others might stop going where they shouldn't. Why do they stop? They no longer have to "pay back" the misdeeds of others. I think God wants us to engage in active forgiveness, and allow him to be in control when things are spinning way out of our own sphere of influence.

Some of us have not learned to let go of stuff, doing what I refer to as "gunny-sacking" the hurts and misdeeds of others until we "need" them someday in the future to really "repay them". It is like we have this "sack" we might label our "revenge rucksack". We pack it so full of the things people say, do, and even don't have a clue they have said or done which hurt us, leave us disappointed, or just plain did in an unthinking moment. Then one day that "perfect" moment comes when we will "unload" the sack of stuff - putrid from sometimes years of decay within our "rucksack"! What a mess this creates in relationships. It is God's intent for us to not just empty the rucksack, but to completely remove it from our shoulders, hands, and possession! But...the emptying process is never to be on others...it is to be at the foot of the cross.

We will always be in contact with others who just don't see things as we do. This is life. You might expect me to say we need to learn to "deal with it" to the best of our abilities, but herein is where we find ourselves pulling out the rucksack and "packing for the trip". We need to learn not to "deal with it" ourselves, but allow God to deal with it! If we do this, we find ourselves not needing the rucksack in the first place! If you think of the purpose of a rucksack, it is designed for the shoulders, to be slung across the back of the one bearing the load within.  Rucksack is a German term meaning bag for the back. So, in essence, when we put things into our "rucksack", we are bearing the burden of the hurt they are causing on our own shoulders. It becomes the load which often breaks our backs because we weren't meant to actually bear up under that load in the first place!

The idea of "remaining current" is when we deal with the hurts of today, so they don't become the disappointments we nurse well into the future. Take just a few moments to step back, consider the perspective of the other person, and realize they probably didn't intend to come across the way they did, or didn't even realize they did what they did. At other times, we need to talk things out and get things in the open so they can be dealt with. Either way, we eliminate the tendency to store up stuff in our rucksack of revenge! The bitterness created by "housing" all those memories and hurts inside the sack just allows them to get all jumbled together and messed up. Eventually we won't be able to distinguish one "issue" from another because they are all "tainted" by the other! What comes out is a mess of bitter and disgusting thoughts, words, and deeds. What we are asked to do is trust God to "deal with" the other individual in the way he sees fit. God may convict them with his kindness, or he may bring a little displeasure their way - that is his business and totally his "purview". We need to leave this in his hands. When we do, we walk away without a burden on our shoulders we weren't meant to bear up under in the first place. It is time to finally ditch the rucksack!  Just sayin!

Just sayin...

When I felt my feet slipping, you came with your love and kept me steady. And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure. (Psalm 94:18-19)

On ice, the small steps you have to take to avoid having your feet go out from under you, or the slower speeds you must drive in order to avoid a spin-out are "precautionary measures" you PERSONALLY take to keep yourself from loss or injury. There are clearly times when all you can do personally is just not enough to keep you upright and on course, though. Your reliance upon another to be there to catch you when you begin to slip, or the street sanding being ever vigilant is something outside of yourself you are hoping will keep you in a position of safety. We use both internal and external sources to aid in keeping us safe. What we may fail to recognize is the two most important "internal and external" sources of safety at our disposal - the presence and power of God. God expects us to have a certain amount of "precautionary measures" in place in our spiritual, emotional, and intellectual lives, but when our defenses are less than ideal in any of these areas, he is at the ready to keep us from harm.

Have you ever noticed that you don't just "slip" - you somehow "know" you are slipping, but you may not be cognizant of the fact you need to catch yourself before you do! God's ability to keep us steady when we begin to feel our "standing" slipping away is unparalleled. What is it God uses to "steady us" in our walk? Nothing less than his love! If we can just get a picture of this, we may face our "slips" a little differently - perhaps not as though they were the biggest blundering we could have done us having to find some way to "get back up" all on our own. It is his love which comes to our rescue - his unconditional, "I will ALWAYS love you", never late love. God comes with his love - it is this love which keeps us steady. Most of us long for love of this kind while we are here on this earth but forget how much we already have this love! We just need to be embraced fully by it and then rest secure in it.

Being burdened with something we weren't meant to carry on our own is one of the places we can 'slip' very easily. The issue is not that we "can" carry these things, but that we weren't designed to carry them "alone". I "can" carry heavy bags of cement - but I am no longer going to do it. Why? I value my knees and my back! I will ask for help if there is a project involving me needing cement to be mixed around my home. I "can" carry lots and lots of stress, with multiple challenging issues pressing in around me - but I choose to share the load with others. Why? I value my sanity! What we value will begin to get our attention. If we come to value the "load bearing shift" God asks of us, we will begin to give this some attention in our lives. God helps us deal with the difference between "I can" and "I choose" when it comes to the burdens of worries in our lives. We "can" determine to bear up under their load. We "choose" to allow him to carry them on our behalf. 

We might not want to let go at first, but he helps us recognize the "efficiency" of allowing the one who knows the end from the beginning to bear the load which will ultimately trip us up if we choose to say, "I can do this on my own". You are not in this alone, for all of us have to come to the place of laying down our "I can" and picking up our "I choose" moments. Even those "I choose" moments are made possible because God comes to us with his comfort and his ability to soothe our feelings of guilt we might encounter by not carrying these burdens all by ourselves. Everything we need to let go is at our disposal - all it takes is us opening up our hands and releasing what we have been holding onto in our frustration, pride, and fear! Most of us need more of God's comfort and care than we openly choose to admit, but when we finally take the first step of admitting this to ourselves, heaven's gates are opened on our behalf. This is where God can connect his resources with our need - his love with our slips, his comfort with our burdens, and his treasured peace with our "feelings" of guilt, anxiety, and fear. Just sayin!

Life Hack #31: Throttle Down on the Control Factor

Life Hack #31: 

Your life is not your own - it is merely on loan. Life choices may be made in haste, but the consequences will be around a long time to come. In the movie, "Rebel Without a Cause", a bunch of emotionally confused and morally rebellious youth reveal absolute defiance against all authority and repeated "bad choices". The truth portrayed in the death of a best friend is really a reminder to all that without warning life can turn upside down. Today's choices will affect more than today's outcomes. Rebel a little here and there, repeat the behavior, and before long, you are living a life that is really not close to God at all.

Fear God, dear child—respect your leaders; don’t be defiant or mutinous. Without warning your life can turn upside down, and who knows how or when it might happen? (Proverbs 24:21-22)

Most of us would not classify our 'rebellion' as outright defiance - that open discontent with someone or something, or outright daring and bold resistance to it. Ever heard anyone say, "I may be sitting down on the outside, but I am standing up on the inside"? They are being a little rebellious or defiant to some authority. Our 'rebellion' may not be "open", or outright bold, but is just as damaging to our character! Inward defiance is dangerous, for it sets down roots and begins to grow until it eventually finds a way of becoming expressed in our actions and attitudes.

Rebellion brings into play the questioning of traditional beliefs or norms. A rebel resists control by anyone other than himself. There is no desire to 'conform' inwardly or outwardly. A rebel seeks to take over control - to assume the authority belonging to another - because he believes he can do it better. Our list of "life hacks" has been long, but all are important. We must have a sound foundation for interpersonal relationships, a right respect for authority, and a proper focus on the one who really matters deals with the tendency of our heart to resist control. 

Our 'hacks' began with the idea of "tested principles" by which, when embraced, we will come to live "accountable" lives. If you look back at these principles, you will see a tie between how we treat others and ourselves being directly linked to the respect we give to God in our lives. If we won't submit to his authority as primary, all these sayings are merely that - sayings. If we take his authority as that which is the only one worth submitting to, we are on our way to developing a strong foundation for living thoroughly accountable lives.

We end with the attitude of heart and mind which reflects our own desire to be in control! It is a dangerous thing to hold onto the reins of our life so tightly that we become "rebels" and "deviants". Our lives will be turned upside down if we continue to hold so tightly to our own ways of doing things - the need to be in control overriding all sense and sensibility. Authority is evident all around us and what we choose to do with it matters. How we choose to submit, or resist is determined not in the immediacy of the moment, but in the "set" of the heart and mind in the long term. When our heart is right with God, we find rebellions against authority (even his) are a little more difficult. Focus determines heart direction - stay focused on Jesus and your heart's tendency toward rebellion and deviance will soon begin to have less pull in your life. Just sayin!

Consider this....not that

What kind of things are you willing to overlook in life? Someone cuts me off in traffic and I tend to just gasp a little, let my blood pressure get back to normal, and then move on. I don't find it necessary to speed up, tail them, and/or flip them a certain finger while shouting expletives my momma would have washed my mouth out for back in the day. Someone eats that last brownie you were counting on having when you settled in to watch your favorite evening show and I tend to get a little bummed because I was 'counting on it', but I don't have a hissy-fit. In all truthfulness, I will probably scour the cupboards and fridge to find an 'alternative' to that chewy, chocolate goodness. We can choose to overlook offenses or we can choose to hold onto them like our last nickel. Which do you choose most of the time? Does the 'severity' of the offense come into question? Let's be truthful here - someone eats your brownie and you can forgive pretty quickly - someone steals your TV and you might just hold onto that one a little longer!

Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend! (Proverbs 17:9)

It was Pope John XIII who said we are to 'see everything, overlook a great deal, and correct a little'. I might just confess to getting this backwards once in a while. Yes, I see everything - I choose to overlook a little - and sometimes I find myself 'correcting' a LOT. William James said, "The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." To overlook an offense is certainly the desired response, but how many times do we struggle with that choice? Probably more than we first admit. To overlook an offense doesn't mean we don't notice it - we see it, but we choose not to dwell on it. When we choose to 'consider' that offense over and over again, we are actually allowing small roots to be created that will ultimately bring about the full harvest of bitterness, regret, and mistrust. So, it is pretty important that we learn to 'see all', but not actively allow those things to get into our 'rumination' pathway!

Some of us will protest the idea of overlooking an offense because we think we were wronged. Let me just take a moment to remind us of the value of not 'regarding' the offense as intentional. I think this is my first reaction to an offense most of the time now. I ask myself if that individual actually intended to hurt me by getting over quickly into my lane, maybe a little closer to my front end than I might have wanted. It is not likely they intended me harm - they just needed to get off at the next exit! I might choose to overlook - to not consider - the quick reply that seemed a little clipped and harsh. I consider where that person is at that moment - are they tired, is their blood glucose low, have they lost sleep because they are concerned over matters that are closing in? God asks us to consider the 'best' in an individual, not the worst. 

I have listened as individuals tell me of an offense and my mind goes to the place of asking how on earth they latched onto that offense of the other and how much time they have spent 'considering' that offense. In truth, I wonder how much of their lives they have wasted 'considering' over and over the offense they have latched onto and made out to be so 'great' in their own minds. Harvey Mackay tells us, "Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities." Mackay is a businessman, so it is likely he was referencing those potential business opportunities, but take this a little further. If we dwell on the 'misfortunes' within relationships, considering them over and over again, we are likely overlooking the opportunities that come when forgiveness is extended in place of that grudge. Just sayin!

Do You Bear Resistance Marks

I was charged with the task of cutting some soap the other day - something you might think would be insanely easy. It is this rich mixture of glycerin, oils, and the like, so shouldn't it be like cutting butter? First of all, let me assure you I am not a weak person - I have a great deal of strength in these hands and arms still. I can still wrestle the pickle jar open with best of you! The soap, on the other hand, just about did me in! No matter how much 'strength' I had in these hands, arms, and even my upper body, I just couldn't cut the loaf pan sized chunk of soap into 1/2 inch pieces. Something was awry with the soap as it set up and it made it insanely hard to cut. Do you know what we did with that soap? We let go of the idea of it being 'bars' of soap, chunked it up, put it back in the heat, and poured it into smaller silicone molds that will allow it to just 'pop out' perfectly sized! Hermann Hesse once said, "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." Some of us hold onto things, dreams, or beliefs long past the time we should have let them go all because we don't want to appear weak. Sometimes the greatest strength is revealed in letting go!

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet. (James 4:7-10)

I don't like letting go of things that I have held dear for some time in my life - it isn't easy to just admit I need to make a clean break from them. Maybe it is because I think others will see it as a weakness to let go of whatever it is, or is it just that I am afraid to let others see me fail? There are times when pride keeps us holding onto things, ideas, beliefs, and others way beyond what is really all that good for us. We need to let go. I believe there comes a moment when we have to actually "let God work his will in us" - a time when we make a conscious choice to no longer hold onto those things. Notice I said it requires a conscious effort - if we are to let go, we actually have to make a 'mind choice' and then we have to actually put some 'effort' into the 'letting go' part. When we decided the soap bars were a crazy idea, we had to not only let go of the idea of this soap being in 'bar form', but we had to put in the effort to cut it into very small squares, melt it again, repour it into suitable molds and then go through the clean up process. 

In looking back over this event, I can recall the deep divots in the palm of my hand where I had been pressing down on the knife blade to attempt to cut through the soap. Trying to hold onto the idea of making 'cut bars' from this loaf sized chunk of soap hurt! It put pressure against me that told me it was resisting everything I was trying to do. That is how it is with stuff we need to give up, or let go of in life. The pressure it exerts in resisting us is insane, so why do we still hold onto the notion we can get something beautiful to come out of the idea, dream, belief, or relationship that has been resisting us with such force? We need to let go. To let go, we need to admit that God needs to change our 'will' toward the thing we need to let go of so badly. We need him to 'work his will' in us - to change the way we think about the matter, so we can finally make a break from it.

Some of us have already hit bottom where it comes to this 'thing' God is asking us to let go of right now. We have been toying with the idea of being free from it for some time, but we just haven't been able to make a 'final break' that results in us being free. The thing we fail to recognize is that this 'break up' with that idea, dream, or thing isn't really all our doing - God needs to help us let go. As we get down on our knees before God, we are allowing God to intervene right where intervention is needed. Whenever we assume the posture of 'letting go', God assumes the posture of lifting us above the thing we just laid down. Just sayin!

Be a gift giver

There are times when I come into my office to find a bottle of my favorite soda, or a small snack that will help me make it through a long day. They aren't 'expensive' items, but they mean the world to me. Have you ever just left a small gift on someone's desk while they were out of the office - no note, no explanation, just something which might bless them on a day when nothing seems to be going right for them? What happens in the moment the person notices the gift upon their return? They ponder it, don't they? It gives them "cause to pause". There is this period of time between the "shock" of receiving the gift and the moment their curiosity causes them to ask, "Hey, who put this here?" For just a brief period of time, they stop focusing on the issues which made them so irritable in the first place, don't they?

A quietly given gift soothes an irritable person; a heartfelt present cools a hot temper. (Proverbs 21:14)

Have you ever been on the receiving end of this type of "blessing"? If you have, you will definitely understand what I am about to say. The undeserved kindness of another "shuts you down", doesn't it? In the moment where you "pause" and "consider" the blessing, something "transforming" begins to happen inside you. In the tiniest of gifts, there can be the biggest of rewards! It would be easy to discount the moodiness of a coworker with huge deadlines looming, plans not coming together as they should, and "issues" just cropping up at every turn of the clock. Yet, isn't there something awesome in figuring out one small way to bless their day?  I have been on the receiving end of these types of blessings more than once. It may have been a lovingly written note just letting me know they were standing by me during the rough patch - thinking of me, there for me. It could have been the bit-sized candy bar labeled with "Break wrapper, savor the richness, and feel the stress melt away". At other times, it was just the nudge of a friend saying, "Let's go to lunch - you NEED lunch!"

Stress increases irritability, does it not? Do something to relieve the stress in a positive manner and it is a wonder how much of the irritability seems to "melt away". There is much we can do to 'de-stress' our days, but nothing quite does it as well as just finding center again. Irritability is a condition in which we are "readily excited" - almost to the point of being impatient and often to the point of being downright angry. It is not a good place to be. No wonder scripture reminds us of the "cooling effect" of touching someone with our "heart", not just our hands, but our true, unselfish heart. It is not the "gift" which releases the frustration and irritability - it is the "heart" behind it! So, the next time you can share a little of your heart with someone who is "readily excited" - do it! Your "gift" of heart can make all the difference to them! Just sayin!

Every bit counts

We have times in life when we just feel like the harder we try, the farther behind we manage to get - like we are chasing our tail the entire way. In looking forward, we see only those things and others who are out ahead of us. It comes as no surprise when someone even begins to describe their impression of God being somewhere, anywhere, but not in the moment of their need - because their 'moment of need' is so far away from where they are right now. We had the need a whole lot earlier than 'now', but we just finally realized we actually needed him! The trial gets hard and we often think we have lost touch with the very one who has the ability to help us get through it all. Listen to these words:

Long enough, God— you've ignored me long enough. I've looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough I've carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me. Take a good look at me, God, my God; I want to look life in the eye, so no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face. I've thrown myself headlong into your arms—I'm celebrating your rescue. I'm singing at the top of my lungs, I'm so full of answered prayers. (Psalm 13)

I daresay we all have probably thought or said these words or ones very similar! We have the same impressions - God is ignoring our need; he is so far out in front of us we can only see the back of his head; he is no longer aware of the enemy's attack in our lives - but is he really? Here's the hard truth for us to hear - the movement away from God's care was not on his part - it was all on us! "Long enough I've carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain." Yep, we hold onto what God asks for us to place in his hands, foolishly attempting to do things on our own, just plowing ahead blindly. In the end, we complain bitterly under the tremendous load we have never been asked to carry!

The way out from under the ton of trouble is most frequently in transferring the load to one who can actually carry the load with ease! In the moment of the recognition of our inadequacy to "deal with" the ton of trouble on our shoulders, God steps in as our rescuer. In the way only God can manage, the load is lifted, we no longer spin our wheels "dealing with" the very things he never intended for us to "deal with". Anytime we realize we are "dealing with" things, we might just want to take the advice we are given in this passage. Our perspective of God needs to change! When we are carrying the burdens ourselves, we see the back of his head - simply because we fall behind, we get entangled in the emotional energies of worry, and we lose sight of his carefulness over our lives. When we change our focus - looking him in the face, the nearness of his care is evidenced in the burdens being lifted - maybe slowly at first, but the lifting of those burdens gets easier and easier as the weight begins to be removed.

You may feel like the "view" you have had of God these past days, weeks, or months has been the "back of his head" kind of a view. I challenge you today to change your perspective - just as I frequently have to challenge myself! In dropping whatever burden you are under into his hands, you actually HAVE TO come face-to-face with him! The "hand-off" of the ton of trouble on your shoulders only is accomplished in the "face-to-face" exchange! Celebrate your rescue today - even if you just begin to feel that load being lifted, but know there is more to be unburdened! Enjoy your "unburdening". He delights in taking what you have been holding onto - even if you are only willing to part with just a little bit of it right now! Just sayin!

Nope, it is a God thing!

It is a "God thing". Have you ever heard anyone say that? I had a friend who always marveled over what God was doing in her life and she'd be heard exclaiming those words. What she meant was that we mere humans couldn't take credit for how things turned out, or what transpired to get us to the outcome we were seeing at that moment. It was a God thing. Since the beginning of time, we can see accounts of men and women, all trying to somehow get an outcome they desired, but even after lots of struggle and willpower, the matter still 'came together' by God's doing. None of us are ever accepted or made "right" by our own deeds. For the nation of Israel, it took a realization that it was in the "keeping of the letter of the law" that they were "made righteous" was not exactly correct. They missed the boat as it applied to seeing God's provision for their holiness through the life of his Son. Abraham was pointed to as one of the exceptions to that general belief of being able to keep all the rules and make things turn out okay - he "entered into" what God was doing - and was thereby made righteous.

So how do we fit what we know of Abraham, our first father in the faith, into this new way of looking at things? If Abraham, by what he did for God, got God to approve him, he could certainly have taken credit for it. But the story we're given is a God-story, not an Abraham-story. What we read in Scripture is, "Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own." (Romans 4:1-3)

There is something liberating about "entering into what God is doing for us" vs. us always trying to "do for ourselves" what is impossible for us to accomplish. God never intended for us to "fix ourselves up" so that we could present ourselves as holy before him. We are not "made acceptable" by our actions - our actions follow the change that occurs in our heart - the heart change is God's business. God is after our heart - the place within us that fellowships with him. The heart is the "instigator" of both our right and self-centered actions. God wants us to understand first and foremost that it is nothing we do ourselves that makes us "clean" - we are in a process of being transformed - and that "work" is his. The "turning point" for us is in realizing that fact. Abraham came to a place where he "trusted God" to set him right instead of trying to constantly do it on his own. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that the beginning point of any change is crucial. If we begin wrong, we usually end wrong. If the starting point is correct, we reach the end result we were aiming for in the first place. We may not get there on our own - and that is perfectly fine - but if we start with the right action (trust), we end with the best results (a God thing).

The starting point for most change in our lives is at the point of repentance. The point of repentance is a time of recognizing that we have "started wrong" and as a result, we are on a wrong course. There is nothing more liberating than recognizing that we are on the wrong path - simply because it causes us to search for the right one! I have been lost before - traveling blindly down a course I "thought" would end where I wanted to be. Along the way, some things did not look familiar - I questioned my surroundings - they 'felt off', so I found myself uneasy in that place. It is in that "questioning moment" when we often are awakened to the danger of continuing on the path we have chosen. That is the moment of "turning" - our specific turning point may vary, but we all need to find that point. The way out of anywhere is usually the same way you came to be where you are at - you turn around and go back to where you began. Most of us find that when we do this, we can see clearly where we "went wrong" in our journey. The nice thing about God is that he never focuses on the negative turns we have taken in our lives or makes us go back to the beginning - he simply points us toward what is right and holy. Sure, he wants us to know "where we went wrong" - but those things don't become a focus point for him. He sees us through the eyes of forgiveness and restoration - no longer remembering the "wrong turns", but focusing on moving us forward.

In this same passage from Romans, it goes on to say: "If you're a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don't call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it—you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked—well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift." (Romans 4:4-5) The thing about forgiveness is that it is a job that is "too big for us". We simply need to trust God to do what we are incapable of doing ourselves. Try as we might, we struggle with always seeing the "wrong turns" in our lives, making it hard to forgive ourselves and let ourselves off the hook. What we need to do is be asking God how he sees us. When we do this, we are always greeted with the perfect image of his Son, Jesus Christ. That is the ONLY way God sees us! With that picture in mind, maybe some of us need to let God do his thing in our lives and just trust him to do what only he can do! Just sayin!