Finally time

Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good. If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I will pay it back, says the Lord. Instead, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing this, you will pile burning coals of fire upon his head. Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)

The "payback" for some of our misdeeds or meddling into affairs we should have left alone may be coming! I have learned that payback is really not something I like or want! When I stop going where I shouldn't, others might stop going where they shouldn't. Why do they stop? They no longer have to "pay back" the misdeeds of others. I think God wants us to engage in active forgiveness, and allow him to be in control when things are spinning way out of our own sphere of influence.

Some of us have not learned to let go of stuff, doing what I refer to as "gunny-sacking" the hurts and misdeeds of others until we "need" them someday in the future to really "repay them". It is like we have this "sack" we might label our "revenge rucksack". We pack it so full of the things people say, do, and even don't have a clue they have said or done which hurt us, leave us disappointed, or just plain did in an unthinking moment. Then one day that "perfect" moment comes when we will "unload" the sack of stuff - putrid from sometimes years of decay within our "rucksack"! What a mess this creates in relationships. It is God's intent for us to not just empty the rucksack, but to completely remove it from our shoulders, hands, and possession! But...the emptying process is never to be on others...it is to be at the foot of the cross.

We will always be in contact with others who just don't see things as we do. This is life. You might expect me to say we need to learn to "deal with it" to the best of our abilities, but herein is where we find ourselves pulling out the rucksack and "packing for the trip". We need to learn not to "deal with it" ourselves, but allow God to deal with it! If we do this, we find ourselves not needing the rucksack in the first place! If you think of the purpose of a rucksack, it is designed for the shoulders, to be slung across the back of the one bearing the load within.  Rucksack is a German term meaning bag for the back. So, in essence, when we put things into our "rucksack", we are bearing the burden of the hurt they are causing on our own shoulders. It becomes the load which often breaks our backs because we weren't meant to actually bear up under that load in the first place!

The idea of "remaining current" is when we deal with the hurts of today, so they don't become the disappointments we nurse well into the future. Take just a few moments to step back, consider the perspective of the other person, and realize they probably didn't intend to come across the way they did, or didn't even realize they did what they did. At other times, we need to talk things out and get things in the open so they can be dealt with. Either way, we eliminate the tendency to store up stuff in our rucksack of revenge! The bitterness created by "housing" all those memories and hurts inside the sack just allows them to get all jumbled together and messed up. Eventually we won't be able to distinguish one "issue" from another because they are all "tainted" by the other! What comes out is a mess of bitter and disgusting thoughts, words, and deeds. What we are asked to do is trust God to "deal with" the other individual in the way he sees fit. God may convict them with his kindness, or he may bring a little displeasure their way - that is his business and totally his "purview". We need to leave this in his hands. When we do, we walk away without a burden on our shoulders we weren't meant to bear up under in the first place. It is time to finally ditch the rucksack!  Just sayin!

My way or the high way

 David had a great military commander naemd Joab. Joab was actually a bit of a 'hothead' in that he did what he wanted, often being quite ruthless in battle. He was feared by many and respected by those he commanded. Every king of those days had heard of the 'fierceness' of David's armies. They were able to overcome great armies and take much plunder as a result of the battles won. There came a time when David wanted peace with those around him - knowing they were aware of the 'greatness' of David's military force and his capabilities to overtake them if he wanted to. Abner was one such leader he desired a 'peace treaty' with - the commander of the armies that belonged to Saul at the time. He no longer wanted 'war' between the people of Judah and Israel. So, he reached out to form a 'peace pact'. As he did, Joab was off doing something else and did not know of the peace treaty. When he returned home and heard of this having occurred, he was furious with David because he wanted Abner dead. Why? Abner had killed his brother and he wanted revenge. Revenge makes us do very weird things and sometimes it even makes us violate what God desires us to do!

Joab then left David and sent messengers to catch up with Abner, asking him to return. They found him at the well of Sirah and brought him back, though David knew nothing about it. When Abner arrived back at Hebron, Joab took him aside at the gateway as if to speak with him privately. But then he stabbed Abner in the stomach and killed him in revenge for killing his brother Asahel. (2 Samuel 3:26-27)

This action greatly grieved David and he was not well-pleased with Joab. In fact, he declared the 'innocence' of both himself and his kingdom for this death. Then he called for a time of fasting and prayer. While everyone knew David was not responsible for the death of Abner, the death and burial became a time when those with David declared their loyalty to his leadership. While Joab was not quick to forgive those who had offended him, David was. In the military, I learned the importance of obeying the orders of those you served under. It was not something to be taken lightly whenever someone chose to disobey an order. Joab does not impress me as a man who liked to obey orders - choosing his own way time and time again. Eventually this kind of disobedience will catch up with a person, though.

The bad news for Joab is that David was greatly displeased with him and appointed someone else over his armies - Amasa. The stubborn and rebellious one who continuously seeks his own way in life will eventually find themselves in circumstances they don't want. Joab wanted power and actually deligthed in his position as the commander of the armies. To have another appointed in his place really tweaked his ego. That 'blow' to his ego resulted in another death - killing Amasa in spite of David having appointed him as his replacement. Unfotunately, our self-willed rebellion can result in us not being at peace with ourselves and others. When we want what we want and determine it is 'our way or the high way', we can be sure judgment will soon follow. We are never 'justified in our disobedience - though it seems 'right' to us, it can be very clearly wrong in God's eyes. 

Something I have realized about those who always see their way as the only way is that there is no reasoning with them. They will always see their way as 'best' and any opposing way as just not acceptable. When pride gets the best of us, we will do things we should not do. When anger leads to revenge, we are clearly moving into very dangerous territory. God will never be pleased with either our own 'self-determined willfulness' or our desire to take revenge. Both the leadership of our lives and revenge belong to him, not us. Remember this and we might just avoid some of the pitfalls of Joab's life. Just sayin!

A reminder from Shakespeare

William Shakespeare admonished us to, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." These are more than just good words of advice. Take them apart and you might just see a few principles you'd like to live by. Love all - isn't this what Jesus said when he reminded us to, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"? (Matthew 22:37-39)

Trust a few - scripture reminds us not to trust a fool, but always to trust God. Remember: "A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart." (Luke 6:43-45)

Do wrong to none - this is probably one of the most controversial things Shakespeare could have challenged us with, right? We 'get' how we are to love one another, and even how we are to trust those who reveal themselves as trustworthy but getting to the place that we actually 'do wrong to no one' is hard, especially when we have been wronged. Doesn't scripture remind us, "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord." (Romans 12:19)

Shakespeare may have found three of the hardest things for us to accomplish in life - being a kind and loving person to all we encounter, be wise in our placement of trust, and not returning a wrong with another wrong. If he could challenge us with these 'life actions', how much more do you think God will challenge us? Just askin!

A hard pill to swallow

 Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:18)

We have a lot of things in this life that we 'seek', but not all of them are to be 'attained' - especially when the thing we seek is revenge. God wants us to know there is but one who 'metes out' justice. The issue with 'revenge' when we seek it or take it - we aren't 'portioning out' justice - we are concerned with ensuring the individual we have issue with receives a portion of not so great stuff! Bearing a grudge is a very easy thing and it is a more common occurrence with our peers than we may realize. Why? We haven't learned to let go when we feel we have been 'wronged' by another. It could be we 'feel' we are 'deserved' a different outcome, but if we hold onto what we 'feel' at that moment, we open the doorway to bitterness developing a stronghold. This is why God warns his people very early on in their relationship with him - don't seek revenge - let go of the wrongs done against you.

Love your neighbor - we have to be told this, but do we have to be told to love ourselves? Sometimes we need to hear both because we have not developed a great sense of 'liking' ourselves. If you struggle to 'like' some part of your character, you are not alone. Many have something in their character that 'bugs' them a bit - from their quickness to jump to conclusions to something within their appearance. How can these things keep us from loving our neighbor? If we are honest, we are critical of the things in others that we see as flaws in our own character, or else we become disgruntled that another is 'better' in some sense than we see ourselves.

You and I bring those things to Christ and he reminds us we are made in his image. To some, that is a hard pill to swallow - because we see those things that 'bug us' and we don't understand how he brings anything good out of them. When I learned I could take my tendency to be fearful of those things I don't fully appreciate in my character and turn them into kind ways of helping others, I realized Christ could use those things. I found I didn't need to be sarcastic as a means to 'cover up' flaws in my character because when I am, I negate the good work God wants to do in that area as he works to bring beauty out of ashes in that area of my life.

Next time you begin to consider the things in your character that aren't exactly as 'good' as you'd like them to be, take them to Jesus instead of finding fault in others who reveal that same character in themselves. In time, you will come to see what God is doing in you and guess what - - - he is probably doing something similar in those others who bug you with very similar character flaws. God isn't going to exact revenge - he is going to show us and those others how his justice brings out the best in each of us. Love him first, then let him show you how to love others as we come to love ourselves "IN HIM". Just sayin!

You're driving me crazy!

It was Douglas Horton who reminded us we should dig a second grave while seeking revenge, for the second one would be ours. He also told us no one could drive us crazy unless we actually gave them the keys with which to do so! It is probably more common than we'd like to admit - we kinda have this tendency in each us to just want someone to get what is coming to them. They cross us in some fashion and we just wanna tell 'em off. We want them to "know" how much pain they have caused, or how much their insensitivity to the situation has compounded our grief, anxiety, or doubt. We don't like that our workload has increased because they are slacking. It happens in thousands of different ways each day, and we ALL struggle just a little bit with the "not fair" kind of thinking, desiring to see them experience just a little of what we have been going through as a result. Horton was spot-on though when he told us to dig two graves - for taking these "little feelings" of anger and hurt to the next step will result in us getting buried under a whole new load of guilt we didn't want to have to dig out from under in the first place!

17 If someone does you wrong, don’t try to pay them back by hurting them. Try to do what everyone thinks is right. 18 Do the best you can to live in peace with everyone. 19 My friends, don’t try to punish anyone who does wrong to you. Wait for God to punish them with his anger. In the Scriptures the Lord says, “I am the one who punishes; I will pay people back.” 20 But you should do this: “If you have enemies who are hungry, give them something to eat. If you have enemies who are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this you will make them feel ashamed.” 21 Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good. (Romans 12:17-21 ERV)

Wouldn't it be wonderful if no one did anybody else any wrong? That would be like Eden without the serpent! Unfortunately, we don't live in a world like that, so we had better get it straight in our minds and hearts how it is we are to deal with those who do us wrong. We need to learn how not to hand over the keys to our "crazy car" so often - then maybe we'd be a little less likely to be 'driven' in that direction so frequently! Too many times we experience the sense of "wrongdoing" against us because we turn those keys over to the other person and let them drive us down that "easy street" toward craziness and frustration. When I stop long enough to actually enjoy those things that otherwise frustrate me, I find they aren't so unpleasant if I just slow down, look for some good in the moment, and then make the most of the good I am experiencing. It may not be much, but even a little good from an otherwise "bad" situation is something!

As Paul reminds us, evil will defeat us if we allow it that opportunity. The key is to not hand the opportunity over to that other person on a silver platter. Do what is unexpected - that is what he says actually overcomes evil. The key to avoiding those feelings of wanting someone to get what they deserve is to give them what they don't deserve - to give them (and ourselves) what is unexpected. If I leave work for you to do that I didn't want to do myself, I honestly don't think you will do it without being a little begrudging in doing it, but it doesn't stop me short of leaving it for you. My attitude is probably, "Who cares if you begrudge doing it as long as it gets done and I don't have to do it?" It isn't "MY" problem that you have those feelings of "begrudging" the work at hand. It is yours. So, why are we trying to control how the other person "feels" or what they will "get" in return for their having left us that work to do? We don't control them - but we give them control of us whenever we start to move down that pathway of begrudging them their "freedom" while we are left with the task at hand.

Seems simple, but we will all admit it is harder in real life. Feelings come and we hand over the keys - making the short trip into the lane that takes us down the revenge highway. Unfortunately, that highway leads to the graveyard - not for them, but for us! Our challenge today: How can we do one thing that someone didn't expect as a response to something they did that otherwise would have been something we'd have wigged out over? How can we turn evil into good in our lives by one simple action of giving what is undeserved? It won't be easy at first, but the more we take back those keys that lead us down the "crazy road", the more we will realize those keys don't belong to anyone else but us! Just sayin!

Seeing what we want to see

Jonathan Swift said, "Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others." H. Jackson Brown said something similar: "Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." Some believe we become kind of indifferent to what we see the most.  When we take in the same things day after day, we often don't realize how much they have changed in the course of time because we haven't anymore "acuity of perception" when it comes to those things.  It isn't that they become "invisible" to us as much as we become "numb" to the subtle changes they are going through. This might not be important to the one who views the Golden Gate bridge from far off in the distance, taking in that majestic expanse over the churning ocean waters near San Francisco, but to the one in their car right now passing over that suspended expanse, they are counting on someone taking in every nook and cranny of that bridge on a regular basis with the eye of an eagle.  Depending upon our "view", we can see things differently.  We can see things from afar - removed from them, so to speak - and see them as beautiful, awe-inspiring, and even a little bit scary at times.  As we near them - getting a bird's eye view - we can often see specific areas where we never knew subtle imperfections, creatures of beauty, or havens of hope existed - all missed because we never got near enough to notice these subtleties!

Do not seek revenge or hold a grudge against any of your people. Instead, love your neighbor as you love yourself, for I am the Eternal One.  (Leviticus 19:18 VOICE)

Such is the case when we hold grudges against one another.  We have developed one way of seeing the individual and the circumstances for which we feel it "okay" to form ill-feelings and allow ill-will to be created.  We might not really see all there is to see, but we have formed an opinion, nonetheless. If vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others as Swift postulates, then I wonder what manner of "vision" we use in our lives as we begin to view others? Are we looking for the things we can find fault in, but which really don't influence outcome all that much?  Or are we only taking fault with the things which will ultimately place our relationship with each other in a place of jeopardy? Taking issue is not the same as seeking revenge or holding a grudge, though.  True neighborly love looks for the things in relationship which make or break it!

When engineers inspect the vast expanse of the Golden Gate bridge, they look for things caused by the influence of the environment this bridge exists within.  It spans an ocean bay - therefore it is subject to salty sea waters, winds, and even the dense fogs which come on occasion.  They look at the structural soundness of the bridge's infrastructure because this is what will keep those who pass over it safe.  In fact, this bridge is described by engineers as "functionally obsolete".  About 11,500 people pass over that bridge each and every day probably not aware the deck structure is only "satisfactory" with a "sufficiency rating" of 59.9 out of a possible 100 points!  Yet, do they know this?  Do they consider this on their journey?  Probably not!  Why?  They see what they see and they don't know what they don't know!  

In relationship, we see what we see.  The problem is that we may not be "seeing" in totality, or we may have a faulty understanding of what it is we are seeing.  Have you ever seen one of those pieces of artwork that looks like you are seeing a huge vase of flowers, only to have the "artwork" unfold into a human being who gets up and walks away?  It is only then that you realize you have seen a beautifully painted image of flowers upon human form!  To see life one way is to limit the ways life can be taken in from the vantage point of others.  We may never see all things "eye to eye", but of this one thing I am certain - God didn't make us to find fault with each other, nor to ignore the important changes each of us is going through in life.  

Revenge looks at another with the idea of punishing another for a wrong we feel they have done to us. It is us retaliating against the other person.  I think God warns us so strongly against taking revenge into our own hands because of our limited ability to see things as we think they should be seen and not really having the full perspective.  Just as those who venture across the Golden Gate bridge each day on their way to and from work, we see things one way, but do we really see them as they really are?  Grudges are a little different because they are feelings we form based on the way our emotions are affected when we see someone a certain way.  Grudges are based on dissatisfying things in the relationship.  In other words, we allow our emotions to be affected by how we see things.

Revenge is the action behind the grudge.  Our passage today reminds us that both the emotion and the action may be incorrect - because we see what we want to see and often based on what is it we come to feel or not feel within that relationship.  Although feelings are good things most of the time, when they take us down the path of focusing on only the bad stuff, we soon find ourselves wanting to travel down the path of revenge!   Just sayin!