Rules of Christian Living - Part Seven

Our last "to do" in our list of "Rules for Christian Living" is this idea of not letting evil get us down, but rather turning evil around in our world by us doing good. This one seems awful simplistic, especially in light of some of the evil we see around us these days, doesn't it?  It is hard to "undo" rape, terrorism, or even the plaguing thoughts of bullying.  It is harder still to "undo" the destruction of diseases such as MS, Alzheimer's, or Parkinson's.  We might be able to slow the progression of the "evil", but "undoing" the effect it has on people - that is really a thing we just haven't been able to accomplish yet.  Look again at our passage. It doesn't say we defeat the evil in this world.  It reminds us we can live in such a way that we don't get defeated by the evil around us by living in such a way that goodness if the hallmark of our lives.  The idea is that of not being "conquered" by evil.  There is but one way to not be "conquered" - it is found in living so close to the one who conquers all things by his power!

Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good. (Romans 12:21 CEV)

I think Martin Luther King, Jr. may have hit this idea on the head:  "We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."  If we take our passage in context, we begin to understand the truth being taught is that of maintaining a right perspective in relationship - first with God and then with those who are walking right next to us.  We started our study by discovering what it means to be "sincere" in our love for each other. Then we moved into this idea of being committed to the relationship - giving it our all and never giving up.  In turn, we learn to reach out to others who have definite need in their lives, serving them in whatever capacity the opportunity may afford.  Adding the committed concern we exhibit when we are willing to take our friend (and enemy) before the Lord in prayerful thought is definitely a sign we are on the right track when it comes to "acting" within relationship how it is God expects us to act (and react).

We can be defeated by a great many things, but in truth, defeat is really a seed for something to grow if we let it.  If you have ever been truly disappointed by something which really didn't work out as well as you wanted it to, you may have found yourself realizing there were other ways to "use" the moment to actually defeat that disappointment.  I remember making a new type of fudge one year, only to find out the fudge never would set up.  It just was as runny as could be.  It may have been a failure on my part which led to the "flop", but when it came to redeeming the moment, we decided to bottle it, then serve it up as an ice cream topping!  Now, this may not be ingenious, but it was one way to turn a defeat into a victory!  We used the "flop" to create a different kind of "success" in life!  This is often what we find ourselves doing in relationship because all of our relationship "moments" will not "perfectly set".  Sometimes we need to take those which don't "set well" and use them as seeds to create something even more interesting and beautiful within the relationship!

This is the principle of defeating evil with good.  It is the ability to look beyond the bad stuff and see the potential for good to come out of it - even though it means a little more work and a little more time.  The fudge required we buy some canning jars (as we made a big, big batch)!  We then had to wash them, fill them, label them, and determine where to "store" all this new-found ice cream topping!  We wanted to share the fudge as Christmas treats with friends and family - so guess what they got for Christmas - yep, a bottle or two of this exquisite fudge topping for their ice cream!  White chocolate, bing cherry, and walnut topping for their evening ice cream splurge!  To our delight, they were delighted with our "flop"!  This is sometimes how it is in life - when we least expect something good to come from what seems to be a total disaster in life, the best kind of thing can happen.  We had friends and neighbors asking for the recipe and even asking for a second jar!  

We may not always be able to "ward off" evil, but we can respond to it by a certain strength within which counters the effect it has.  We can learn to forgive, but we have to allow the seeds of disappointment to actually come if we are ever to be challenged to forgive!  Just sayin!

Rules for Christian Living - Part Six

We have all probably heard a version of this quip:  "Payback is a bummer".  You may have heard it just a little differently, but you get the idea!  The "payback" for some of our misdeeds or meddling may be something we are not really counting on, but we can almost stand assured it is coming!  When I was younger, I was much more of a practical joker and liked to pull little pranks on people.  I learned that payback was really not something I liked!  There were times some of my friends and I would try to "one up" each other in the prank, having to be very creative about how it was we'd get the other one back for the last prank they pulled.  The problem with this kind of "one-upmanship" is that eventually the pranks had to get pretty elaborate and almost a little cruel or unsafe.  There was almost no end to the places we'd invade, the things we'd use, and the mischievous ways we'd prank one another.  It had to stop somewhere, though.  So, eventually I found myself a little convicted for some of the stuff I was doing and in time I cam to recognize these pranks as really not creating more of a cohesive relationship, but driving a bit of a wedge in between us.  I stopped - and guess what - they stopped, too!  Why did they stop?  They no longer had to "pay back" the mischief - we were just free to be going about our normal business of life without trying to create the way we'd "get even" with the other guy!  I think God has a similar plan in mind when it comes to our relationships with each other - we need to guard against the "one-upmanship" practices, engage in active forgiveness, and allow him to be in control when things are spinning way out of our own sphere of influence.

Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good. If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I will pay it back, says the Lord. Instead, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing this, you will pile burning coals of fire upon his head. Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21 CEB)

The principles we will consider today are really hard for some of us to grasp because we have not learned to let go of stuff, doing what I refer to as "gunny-sacking" the hurts and misdeeds of others until we "need" them someday in the future to really "stick it to them".  It is like we have this "sack" we might label our "revenge rucksack".  We pack it so full of the things people say, do, and even don't have a clue they have said or done which hurt us, leave us disappointed, or just plain were unthinking acts.  Then one day that "perfect" moment comes when we will "unload" this stuff - putrid from sometimes years and years of decay within our "rucksack"!  Eeesh!  What a mess this creates in relationships.  It is God's intent for us to not just empty the rucksack, but to completely remove it from our shoulders, hands, and possession!

We will always be in contact with others within our circles who just don't see things as we do.  This is life.  You might expect me to say we need to learn to "deal with it" to the best of our abilities, but herein is where we find ourselves pulling out the rucksack and "packing for the trip".  We need to learn to not so much "deal with it" ourselves, but allow God to deal with it!  If we do this, we find ourselves not needing the rucksack in the first place!  If you think of the purpose of a rucksack, it is designed for the shoulders, to be slung across the back of the one bearing the load within.  Rucksack is a German term meaning bag for the back.  So, in essence, when we put things another does or says which disappoint us into our "rucksack", we are bearing the burden of the hurt they are causing on our own shoulders.  It becomes the load which often breaks our backs because we weren't meant to actually bear up under that load in the first place!

The idea of "remaining current" within relationships is probably one of the ways we eliminate the tendency to put things in the rucksack.  When we deal with the hurts of today, they don't become the disappointments we nurse well into the future.  Sometimes we can easily accomplish this by taking just a few moments to step back, considering the perspective of the other person, and realize they just didn't intend to come across the way they did, or didn't even realize they did what they did.  At other times, we need to talk things out and get things in the open so they can be dealt with.  Either way, we eliminate the tendency to store up stuff in our rucksack when we do!  

Revenge is really not sweet - although it may seem that way to one who has been "housing" a lot of stuff in their rucksack.  The issue is really that the bitterness created by "housing" all those memories and hurts inside the sack just allows them to get all jumbled together and messed up.  Eventually we won't be able to distinguish one "issue" from another because they are all "tainted" by the other!  What comes out is a mess of bitter and disgusting thoughts, words, and deeds.  To avoid this happening, we need to rid ourselves of the sack!  What we are asked to do is trust God to "deal with" the other individual in the way he sees fit.  God may convict them with his kindness, or he may bring a little displeasure their way - that is his business and totally his "purview".  We need to just leave this in his hands.  When we do, we walk away without a burden on our shoulders we weren't meant to bear up under in the first place.

So, our lesson today - ditch the rucksack!  Just sayin!

Rules for Christian Living - Part Five

It is said when an individual is able to empathize with another they are able to associate with the feelings, attitudes, and sometimes even the pain of another. It is as though they have walked through, or are currently walking through the same stuff the other person is at that moment in time.  There is an "association" with the other person's plight, joy, freedom, etc.  To suffer "with" another is different from entering into the suffering with the individual.  Sympathy is something which occurs because two people are so similar in tastes, opinions, etc., that they often see things the same way.  When God asks us to be happy when others are happy, sad when they are sad, he is asking us to use a little of both.  He desires nothing more than we become like minded - developing the same tastes and opinions.  He also wants each of us to learn to walk with one another in the challenges of life we have also walked through - not alone, but with each other.  Sympathy suggests the general idea of kinship - empathy reveals the willingness to go the extra mile with the one next to you - whether the journey be the best or the worst!

When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad. Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you are smarter than others. (Romans 12:15-16 CEV)

Many years ago, the light little tune came out, "Don't worry, be happy!"  The jingle caught the attention of many and became a light-hearted tune to lift the spirits.  The problem with the tune - it lacks depth despite the "lightness" of its message.  We cannot make light of another's misery, nor can we discount or dismiss their happiness.  This is what Paul has in mind when he reminds us to live in such a way so as to enter into the happiness of another, as well as share in their difficult places.  "Kin" does that!  When there is a blood-connection as there is with those who are children of God's Kingdom, there is this connection with the ups and downs of each other.  Why does this idea of being friendly with each other come into the instruction at this point?  The idea conveyed is that we are to "show" our friendship - in action, not just words.  

To this, Paul adds the reminder to be aware of the times when we might want to consider ourselves as a little "better" than others - either because we haven't experienced what they are experiencing, or just because we see our own struggles or victories as more "significant" than the other guy's.  It is not infrequent that we do this little "comparison" thing, evaluating what another is going through in perspective to what we have gone through, or are presently facing.  We almost put their sorrow or happiness on a scale, with the counter-balance on that scale being our own issues or enjoyments.  If another's outweigh ours, they might get our attention - if not, we might turn up our noses and walk away.  This is what we are to guard against - this "counter-balance" issue.  No one walks through things exactly the same - but we do face them with the same types of emotions - fear, sadness, worry, joy, peace, or elation. There are degrees to all our emotions and we tend toward "unique" sets of these emotions in our personal make-up, but we all have the same emotions.

There is something to be said about identifying with the sorrow or happiness of another from both the perspective of sympathy and empathy.  We each experience different struggles and enjoyments in life, but we can experience them together as "kin".  We also can be "paired up" with another that is able to share in our sorrow or joy at a deeper level because they have similar experiences.  I think we need both.  It should come as no surprise that there is nothing new under the sun - it might change faces, places, and time frames, but there is truthfully nothing new under the sun.  What another is walking through has been walked through by many others down through the ages - we need to learn to be open with each other, sharing in our joys and fears, frustrations and hopes, successes and failures - because there is value in this exchange of support, celebration, and compassionate display of love.  The value?  We learn to look outside ourselves and see the other guy.  We learn to see that life exists beyond our own sorrows, challenges, joys and celebrations.  We enter into community - God's intent in all of this.

We may not do this naturally at first, but in time, as we consistently allow God to bring us together with others of like-minded companionship, we find we begin to experience more than the sympathy component, but we enter into seasons and experiences where we enter into the suffering and pain of another (empathy).  It may come as no surprise to some that this is where growth actually occurs - both in our own lives and in the life of the other guy.  Why? As iron sharpens iron, we sharpen each other.  Just sayin!

Rules for Christian Living - Part Four

If you have ever stood in the midst of accusers or those who just don't make life very pleasant for you, you know what it is like to feel a little mistreated. Mistreated people actually feel like they are being "abused" a little - the things being done to them are just plain wrong. The one being mistreated feels like they are standing alone - no help in sight, no end either!  To be the receiving end of abuse is just not pleasant, but to actually turn "toward" your abuser and then bless them is quite another thing altogether!  To return good when all you are receiving is bad or harmful is almost like asking for the impossible, but we need to keep in mind God's plan is to always do the impossible through us. 

Ask God to bless everyone who mistreats you. Ask him to bless them and not to curse them. (Romans 12:14 CEV)

It doesn't say we are to be the ones giving the blessing to another - it says we are to take that individual to God and ask God to bless him or her.  I think this is where we get it wrong in our lives - we think we are being asked to actually be the ones to have to bless the other person's life, but we are only being asked to bring that individual before God and ask God to "favor" them in a way HE sees fit.  This may differ entirely from how we see "fit" for that individual.  You might be surprised how God knows exactly how to bless another's life. Sometimes the very things which seem to be mounting good in the other person's life can be interpreted as God not caring for the hurt or pain we are in because of the other person's actions.  In truth, God may be using the good he bestows to actually bring the other person to a place of recognizing him.

Did you ever stop to consider what it is to actually bear up under the burden of too much blessing?  Before you send me off to be stoned, hear me out.  When God chooses to bless and bless someone's life with what we see as good, contrary to how they have been acting toward you, it may be the "good" is mounting up to the place they will actually stumble under the weight of all that good!  Before you get your hopes up that God makes someone stumble and fall who has done you wrong, let me assure you he only uses their own desires to reveal their true colors.  It may be he is bringing them to the place they hit rock bottom and recognize they have a tremendous need despite their tremendous blessing in life!

Ask God to bless and not to curse - something so totally opposed to our natural inclination, huh?  When hurt by another, we want to lash out, not have blessing bestowed in their lives.  We want to see wrong done to them like they have done to us - it is this retaliatory response God is after here.  He wants us to recognize we want to get even and this is not his way of ever doing business! If it were, then grace would be null and void in his economy!  God's move toward the one who stands in need of his mercy is always something we just don't understand very well, but we sure enjoy being on the receiving end of that mercy!  Asking God to bless another may not be our first response to their negative behavior, but it is the right one - because we ALL stand in need of his mercy.  

The idea here is asking God to "harass" them in a way so totally in opposition to the way they have been harassing you that they cannot help but be convicted by their actions.  Grace extended brings conviction sometimes sooner than any other thing in someone's life.  Repeated attacks returned with repeated blessing will make the one doing the attacking a little uncomfortable after a while. When they see we don't get riled, refuse to return their negative and hurtful actions with similar ones, and remind God to "handle" them in the way which best reflects him, they will eventually stop.  Why?  It is hard to face grace's open arms repeatedly without falling into them at some point.  Just sayin!

Rules of Christian Living - Part Three

Impoverished people understand their need, don't they?  The one living on the street longs for a roof over their head and warmth in the cool of winter.  The one eating from the trash receptacles nightly longs for the privilege of purchasing a hot meal or buying a basket of groceries fresh from the market. The one clothed in the same garb from day-to-day longs for the ability to launder their things and to enjoy the luxury of having choices about what to wear.  We might not understand poverty if we have never really experienced it. Mother Teresa once said, "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."  I guess there are more forms of poverty than just being without food, clothing, or shelter, huh?  If what she said is true, then many of us have known a form of poverty at one time or another, right?  Lonely, feeling unwanted in a world crazy enough to make a sane person spin, we wander almost in a daze - hungering for someone to care, somebody to embrace our pain.  Then as though the heavens opened up, we run smack-dab into the open and waiting arms of Jesus!  In an instant, our loneliness is no longer beckoning to be fulfilled; our feelings of being unwanted and of little value begin to melt away.  Why?  In the arms of Jesus, grace heals wounds, mends broken hearts, and weaves love into the core of our being.

Take care of God’s needy people and welcome strangers into your home. (Romans 12:13 CEV)

Yes, our passage deals with the "physical" form of poverty, but it also deals with the "spiritual", "emotional", and "relational" forms of poverty, as well.  Mother Teresa went on to say, "We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked, and homeless.  The poverty of being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for is the greatest poverty.  We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty."  Great wisdom indeed!  I think we need to be challenged a little to look within our own walls on occasion to find the real "poverty" which has the potential to lie within those walls.  The truth is that there might just be emotional poverty right there in the next chair, watching the same re-runs of that sitcom night after night that you are!  There might be spiritually needy individuals just longing for someone to show them the way of escape from the place of poverty they have stumbled into.  When we begin to look for need, we might just be surprised how "evident" it is all around us!  Lest we think it is impossible for the "stranger" to actually dwell within our inner circle, think again. I daresay there is a little bit of a "stranger" in all of us just waiting to be welcomed in!

I once learned that you can tell how ripe a banana is by how many ways the peel actually "splits" when peeled from the top down.  Most of us peel the banana from the end which attached it to the tree, but it is meant to be peeled from the "bud" end.  When peeled in this direction, the ripest banana will peel away into five parts.  Ever try to peel an unripe banana?  When you try to remove the peel, it is almost like you need a jack-hammer to break the seal! Bitter parts are left behind from the peel.  The struggle to remove the peel is almost too difficult to actually make the discovery of what is underneath the peel worth it.  I wonder if we realize when a relationship is ready to "peel back" and reveal what is hidden in the core of it?  Do we have a tendency to rush things a little, leaving nothing but bitterness behind?  Or are we trying to get into the relationship the wrong way?  Maybe we are not really concerned about having invested enough time into allowing it to ripen to actually see the pleasure and joy a "fully ripened" relationship can bring to our souls!  

We may not be ready to open our doors to the homeless and "street dwellers" in our neighborhoods, but we can open our hearts to the one sitting right next to us!  I think this is where carrying for the needy begins - in the couches and easy chairs in our homes, the cubicles of our workplaces, and the pews of our churches.  There is no greater need than the one which is simply unspoken, but nonetheless niggling at the core of the heart and soul of the one in need.  If you have ever been in a crowd and felt alone, you may have just witnessed a sense of deep poverty within your own soul.  If you have ever experienced darkness in the midst of great light, you might have experienced the solitude and loneliness of depression.  There is much to be said about the need around us, my friends, but the greatest thing we can say is, "God show me where it exists in me, and let me begin to see it in others who surround me."  Just sayin!

Rules of Christian Living - Part One

There is this list of things called "Rules for Christian Living" which appears in the twelfth chapter of Romans.  Almost all of them are "relational" in one form or another, but as we look into those over the next couple of days, let's seek to really avoid using them as a "checklist" of Christian behavior and more of a little bit of insight into how God created us to interact with him and each other.  The ideas conveyed in this chapter are not just "rules" we check-off each day and then go around thinking "I already did that today".  They are ways of living "outside" of our selfishness - the tendency we had before we said "yes" to Christ which kept us totally self-directed in our focus.  We are going to look at these in segments, not as a long "laundry list", but as building upon each other.  The first is pretty straight-forward:  Be sincere in your love for others.  Sincerity is this idea of being free of hypocrisy.  If you have ever caught yourself saying one thing, but thinking another, you might be dealing with this thing called hypocrisy - the tendency to be in-genuine or unreal.  Neither of these traits are what God wants for us in relationships - first with him, then with others.  He strives for this idea of being genuine - a good place for us to start in our examination of the "Rules for Christian Living".

Be sincere in your love for others. Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good.  Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself. (Romans 12:9-10 CEV)

The first desire expressed is for us to be genuine in our love for each other. How we reveal this is through the next couple of examples: hating evil, holding tight to what is good, treating one another as brothers and sisters, and giving honor to each other more than we focus on seeking honor for ourselves.  As we look at these, we find a "protectiveness" of the relationship and guarding against those things which hinder the depth and closeness of relationship.  Nothing will shut a relationship down quicker than for anger, malice, or wickedness to gain an inroad into the midst of it.  We are to do more than just be "intolerant" of these things - we are to be so vigilant to guard against them that we just WON'T allow them to have an inroad.  When anger enters, we are to immediately stop, take notice of what is being said or demonstrated in each other's actions, and then bring reconciliation immediately.  This is the principle of not letting the sun go down on our anger.  Just think of how much different our relationships would be if we were to begin to operate in this framework!  When ill-intent is evident, conflict will arise.  As with anger, there is to be an increasing "vigilance" to avoid all manner of ill-intent.

The opposite is true in the relationship - we are to really run after the things which produce good outcomes in the relationship.  Those things which increase our moral foundation are probably what our writer has in mind here.  Whenever we build one another up in the faith, we are fulfilling this "rule" of living.  This leads to us loving each other as we'd love a brother or sister.  If you don't particularly enjoy being around your siblings, this one might be hard to grasp! The idea is one of "blood relation" - learning to see each other as belonging to the same "bloodline".  Those who are part of the family of God share a similar "heritage" as we do.  As such, we are to enter into companionable relationship with those in this journey of faith.  It means we need each other!  We cannot walk it alone.  We actually benefit from the closeness of seeing another walk out their faith - in the daily, rubber meets the road kind of way.  If we were to really look at what our writer is saying here, we find he is reminding us of being cognizant of those who are "partners" with us in this walk.  We don't always "get along" well, but we do grow from the interactions and see love become the driving force which binds us together.

The last reminder is to honor one another more than we do ourselves.  This is a tough one, as you might imagine, because each of us tends to focus on self quicker than we focus on others.  Honor might mean a few things here, such as giving distinction to another which is unique and calls out how it is we appreciate the other individual.  If we see something in them which is a complimentary skill or trait to what we possess, this might be something we "honor" in them.  It might also mean we give some merit to another individual which they wouldn't receive otherwise.  I think there are a whole lot of people today just walking around looking for someone to give them some merit - because their lives have been filled with all kinds of things labeled as "demerits"!  I don't know where the "demerits" came from, or even if they were deserved, but I do know many individuals focus on those "negative" things they have been told or come to believe about themselves.  When we are in relationship with each other, we have this unique ability to focus on either side of the column, so to speak.  The choice to focus on those things which are of "merit" in a person's life is something we need to learn to do more often!  Just sayin!