Triggers require a plan

13 So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. 14 So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. 15 But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 16 For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.” 

(I Peter 1:13-16 NLT)

While preparing for an exam in school, the one thing most of us did was kind of "cram" the night before the exam. I found this particularly true when in nursing school because the volume of information we had to "consume" in just a short period of time was astronomical. The "cram session" usually involved going over notes, reading key passages again in various texts, and if I was lucky enough to find someone to cram with, we'd "test" each other to ensure we could recall the answers. All this effort was good, but what really counted was that I took copious notes, frequently referred back to the notes, and continually filled my mind with the content being taught. There is much to be said about preparing our minds because we never know when we will be called to put into action those things we have been taught!

Part of preparing our minds is to ready us to exercise self-control when we most need it! There is nothing worse than feeling ourselves "losing control" in a moment when we know we need it more than ever. I have had frequent opportunities to speak with individuals who find themselves "mopping up" after having not exercised that self-control. The one common "theme" of their lack of self-control is really two-fold: 1) there was some type of "trigger", and 2) they didn't have a plan to help them deal with that "trigger". Although we cannot anticipate every "trigger" in life, we can get a pretty good idea what sends us down the path of little to no self-control. The lack of self-control may be in the realm of eating, responses which are less than loving or kind, or even an activity that is just not right for us to engage in because it will eventually harm us.

Now, I recognize every "plan" doesn't always work, but some plan is better than no plan at all when it comes to "pre-planning" for self-control. We may not even work the plan until we are already heading down the path, but when we implement the plan at any point prior to having gone the full distance down that path, it is a good thing! I honestly believe, and have done this myself, that taking time to formulate the plan (even to the degree that I write it down) BEFORE I am faced with the issue that triggers my undesirable behavior is beneficial. It cements the action steps I need to take in order to notice when the desire to respond in anger rises, or the way someone treats me gets on my last nerve and I want to tell them to just get lost. Self-control doesn't come naturally to us - no baby pops out of the womb having learned that the entire universe doesn't rotate around them! In fact, it takes years and years to show them it doesn't!

If you have been responding to some "triggers" lately that may not be within your control, the response to those triggers still is within your control. Take some time out today to begin to figure out what the triggers are and write out a plan. I draw a line down a piece of paper, labeling one column "trigger" and the second one "plan". As simple as that sounds, it helps me "work the plan" when the trigger comes. I commit that plan to prayer and frequently refer back to it - because you never know when you will encounter your "trigger" that requires you to be ready to respond with unwavering self-control. Just sayin!

Power, love, and self-control

There are times when I feel pretty "cowardly" in this life.  I don't like big, hairy spiders and would rather not encounter them.  Yep, I will deal with them when I do because it is just me, so if I don't, they will soon overrun my house if given a place to dwell unharmed.  Now, the means I use to get rid of them may be a little odd on occasion, but it works!  I grab whatever is in my path - like the Windex, Spray-N-Wash, or even an occasional can of Raid.  They get a good dousing with whatever I can wrap my hands around the quickest.  I have been known to empty an entire can of room deodorizer on those creepy crawlers!  They might not die instantly, but they go to their grave smelling rather good!  You might ask why I don't take a shoe and just smash them.  I would have to say this is where the cowardly part comes in. Using the shoe requires accurate aim, and I have to get rather close to them to actually make the connection.  I'd rather have the distance afforded by the can of deodorizer!  I at least get them so bogged down with liquid stuff that I can be assured they cannot skitter under the dresser or off into the recesses of the cabinet before I whack them!  I call this "strategic planning" - not genuine cowardice.  It is all in how you look at things sometimes, isn't it?  In this life, there are times when the stuff coming at us makes us feel pretty overwhelmed - almost cowardly in our desire to deal with them, much less get through them with any sense of pride in the way we accomplished them.  There are just times when God's Spirit has to give us the power to accomplish things way beyond our own abilities - or creativity!

God’s Spirit doesn’t make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7 CEV)

My unusual means of dealing with the spiders is kind of my own technique developed when I no longer had a husband around to scream to that a big, hairy creepy crawler was in the bathroom.  In Arizona we get some big spiders - almost furry in appearance - and faster than some Indy race cars!  I needed a strategy that would give me time to deal with the inevitability that I'd have to eventually get close enough to the thing to scoop it up and send it into the depths of the sewer system at some point!  My unconventional means of dealing with the spider is probably not going to be considered one of my highest qualities in life, but it gets the job done.  There are times when life's circumstances come at me like those big hairy spiders - unannounced, unwelcome, and undeserved.  I didn't hear them enter my life. I didn't invite them in.  I didn't even deserve whatever it is they brought my way.  The circumstances just come - leaving me to deal with them the best way I know how.  In many ways, you and I face these circumstances similarly.  The first reaction is to pull away in fear, much like we do when faced with the spider.  We almost feel ourselves shudder by their evolving presence.  Then we might just react with a little indignation that these circumstances are in "OUR" lives - after all, we don't have time to deal with them.  We even feel a little put off when they come because we just don't deserve the hassle they create. 

As I was reading through Paul's letter to Timothy this morning, these words struck me as pretty important for us to begin to lay hold of as it comes to dealing with what life sends our way.  God's Spirit doesn't make us cowards - in fact, he gives us three very powerful tools with which to face the big hairy circumstances of life - just as much as he walks with us through the lesser issues.  I had to wonder about the three "tools" God's Spirit gives us, though.  I get the power, and even the self-control thing, but how did love fit into this "toolkit" of sorts?  After all, when the tough stuff comes at us, the last thing we want to do is break into a happy dance, or give any impression we might actually love it!  I think these "tools" are kind of important to understand - each with a specific purpose and intent.

The Spirit gives us power - that ability or capability we lack in ourselves.  Some of us immediately equate power with strength - and we would not be wrong to consider the Spirit's power within us as "added strength" or strength way beyond our own capability.  In fact, this power often is something we look back on and wonder whether it actually was "us" walking through the tough place.  Yes, it was, but we did so not under our own "capacity", but as almost "super-charged" with the capacity that comes because we have God's Spirit resident within us.  When I go to the store to buy batteries, I am always stumped by the selection. There are the good old regular ones of yesteryear all the way to these newer "super-charged" and supposedly longer-lasting ones of today.  I can go to the 99 cent store and buy the regular ones - but I have to go to a store where I will pay a bigger price for the more "super-charged" ones.  I guess this kind of makes sense - longer lasting should cost us more, right?  So, why is there still the selection?  Why would we buy batteries which last 1/3 as long?  Kind of seems like a waste of our money, right?  So, why do we settle for anything less than all the power available to us when we are faced with life's tough issues?  Maybe it is because we are afraid of what it will cost us to "tap into" the power which comes from the Spirit.  Truth is - the cost is already paid on our behalf - we just need to plug into the power!

The Spirit gives us love - a weird tool to deal with life's challenging moments until you consider the real purpose for this "tool".  Love is not some emotional release, but more of an expression which guides us through those moments with something akin to courage.  When we are faced with ugly stuff, to walk through those things with the passion of Christ is something akin to the most amazing courage we could ever see.  Christ put his heart and soul into all he did.  Nothing less than all of him went to the cross.  Nothing less than all of him stands in the gap for us today, making intercession for us day and night - holding us up before his Father and beckoning heaven's hosts to our side in those moments of our toughest struggles.  This is why we need the tool of love - to help us stand with passion and assurance.  To turn the tides of grace, one must have the waves of love flowing within their veins. 

The last tool is one of self-control.  Power unleashed is not always the best response - sometimes we just need to hold back a little in order to see the outcome God desires. We might walk headlong into things and places we'd have done better to avoid - this is where self-control comes in.  We rely upon the power of the Spirit to get us through the places where our own abilities are insufficient or unreliable.  We lean upon the love of God to bring grace into the ugliest of moments.  We exercise self-control to avoid those moments of collision with things which will only leave us messed up and crying out for deliverance. Three powerful tools - all carrying their own method of making us courageous disciples of Christ.  Use them well and you will be certain to walk strong through all life throws your way. Just sayin!

I have a leak in my tank!

I think we'd all admit to times when self-control just flies out the window and something akin to no control at all takes over.  You know what I mean - the best of intentions exist at the beginning of the day, but as the day wanes on and your "self-control" dial slowly edges back toward zero and suddenly you find the ability to resist whatever it is you are trying to apply self-control to is just null and void.  Those moments happen to the best of us - not because we lacked self-control, but because we just somehow "leaked" all our self-control right out of us!  At the moment we need it most - it is gone.  At the moment when it would make all the difference in the world, it is like finding a spatula to scrape the tiniest fragment of mayo out of the jar because we are desperate for a sandwich!  The moment we realize we are on "zero" as it comes to our "self-control reserve", we panic and see ourselves plummeting head-long into stuff we know better than to cross over into.  So, if we want to avoid "zero", we need a plan to have better "reserves"!

Losing self-control leaves you as helpless as a city without a wall. (Proverbs 25:28 CEV)

Self-control is something we "put in reserve" in our lives through a couple of different means.  The first is through study of what scripture has to say about whatever it is we are wanting to "build a reserve" against.  For example, if we are struggling with being critical in our conversations, we might want to consider what scripture teaches about guarding our tongue, how a spark catches a whole forest on fire, and what it means to speak love in truth.  When we explore what scripture has to say, we need to do more than just familiarize ourselves with what it says.  The next step is to actually begin to find ways to apply what it is we find to be truth we need to practice.  Application is just another fancy word used to describe the process of practicing whatever it is we are working on applying.  In terms of the words we choose, we might make more conscious decisions to remain quiet (like when we are tempted to point out how "wrong" someone is), or to speak words of love rather than harsher words of criticism.  Are we being a little two-faced when we do this?  Not really. We are simply learning to apply truth - in time, truth will govern our thoughts and our responses will come easier.  In the meantime, we practice, practice, practice.  We don't develop reserves without this type of practice!

The second means of developing and maintaining a little self-control is through accountability.  When we try and fail, time and time again, we could benefit from having someone else be aware of what it is we are working on changing in our lives.  If I travel this road with someone who is right at the same level as I am with my self-control issues, I won't actually have much of an accountability partner.  If I choose to travel this road with someone who has a little more reserve built up in that particular area, I find myself being able to draw from what it is they have already learned.  Herein is the benefit of developing accountable relationships.  I am not talking about the kind where you run every move you make through another person to see if it is "okay" to do it or not.  I am speaking of the kind of relationships where we are comfortable "calling each other out" when we see or hear things which we know is contrary to the way we want to be walking.  This takes a lot of courage - to partner with others in this way requires a huge amount of vulnerability - we open ourselves up and this can be uncomfortable.  I don't know about you, but whenever I have needed to build my "self-control reserve", I don't usually do so well on my own!  What I need is another to help me see where I am leaking!

The third means of building our self-control "reserves" is to actually talk with God about it.  I don't think we do this enough.  Sure, we "explain" to God where we "went wrong" - we call that confession.  But...do we actually stop long enough to hear what he is speaking to our hearts in those minutes when we actually get quiet enough to listen?  Probably not.  If we did this a little more - rather than just "talking to God", we might find we get the impression of little areas of opportunity where we could have "saved" a little reserve if we never traveled down the road in the first place!  We find where it is we "trip up" and we can adjust our journey as a result.  We may not solve this problem of "reserve leakage" right away, but through consistent and committed use of these three principles, we might just find our reserve being increased and the leakage slowing down!  Just sayin!

Rats, trapped again!

As a child, when times got rough, I'd try to blame someone else for the "roughness" I was experiencing. For example, if it was me who snatched a cookie out of the cookie jar before dinner and left a trail of crumbs right up to where I was sitting playing, I would try to deny it was me! Or like the time mom came home to find my mouth black and my breath smelling heavily of anise only to hear me deny repeatedly that I had been into my grandmother's licorice candy! I denied because I knew the admittance of guilt would bring punishment - but denial doesn't guarantee escape! It only shifts the blame or focus for a moment, but not for the "savvy" parent. The parent who loves and knows their child will not be caught off-guard by the child's adamant denials! In fact, they will pursue the denial until the child squirms a little and finally admits to the "crime"! Why? They love us too much to let us get away with the "sin"! God loves us in the same way - pursuing us until we admit we are trapped by our sin and cannot find a way out. 

The Lord sees everything, and he watches us closely. Sinners are trapped and caught by their own evil deeds. They get lost and die because of their foolishness and lack of self-control. (Proverbs 5:21-23 CEV)

Unlike our earthly parents, God sees everything. As a child, I thought mom must have some sixth sense for finding out this stuff, but in actuality, my own guilt "found me out". In the most literal sense, sin (or our lack of self-control) has a way of "trapping us" - if not because we suffer some type of harm in our lives, at least in the issue of guilt. Guilt is like a trap - it encompasses us, making us feel like there is no way out, and then strings us up until we cry "uncle". If you are strung up long enough, you are eventually cut off from all things which are your life supply - like food, water, and exercise. In the trap, you wither and die. Guilt is so powerful because of it "cuts us off" from those things we need most - like fellowship, freedom to move, and nourishment. 

Simply put, a trap is any device, strategy, trick, or the like designed specifically for catching a person "unaware". Sometimes our own lack of self-control presents all the right circumstances so as to create this opportunity to be "caught unaware" - simply because we weren't paying attention to where we were heading or what we were setting ourselves up to do. Most believers don't wake up in the morning with a firm commitment in mind that "today I will sin" by doing this or that. In fact, we usually wake up making a fresh commitment NOT to do this or that which almost always ends up in us making some foolish decisions and pursuing something we should have left untouched. 

This "self-control" thing is not new - it has been around as long as we have! When God created man in his own image, I believe God created this ability for self-control deep within man. In the same manner, he created him with the ability of choice. Now, if man chooses wisely, exercising a little self-control (restraint), then man doesn't deal with the other thing God created - his emotions (guilt). On the other hand, if man chooses unwisely, allowing all restraint to fly out the window, then he will also deal with the conflict of emotions which come as a result of having pursued something he intended to avoid in the first place! 

The good news in all this mess is that we are not designed to be solely reliant upon our self-control! Too many times we live very defeated and guilt-ridden lives simply because we think we have to avoid sin completely by our own doing. In reality, God also created us with this "space" within each of us that is the place we call "spirit" - the place where he was designed to inhabit. If we allow this space to be filled with the Spirit of God, then we find we have help to avoid the traps! The sad thing is that we sometimes set the traps we fall into, while at other times they are set for us. We cannot always be aware of the ones being set for us, but we can be keenly aware of the ones we are setting for ourselves. The Spirit of God within can trigger our awareness - we just have to ask him to do so and then be willing to listen when he does! 

Those traps set for us by others - well, he can also help us recognize the signs of the trap long before we step into it. This is why it is important to have a living and vital relationship with God - so we can call upon him, learn from him, and be guided by his "fore-knowledge" of what lies ahead. The closer we are to him, the easier it is to avoid the traps! The more we avoid the traps, the less guilt we have to deal with. The less guilt we have, the freer we will be in our worship and adoration of our Lord. Now, that is what God intends for his kids! Just sayin!

Defend your walls

Back in the day, cities were surrounded by walls - some wood, others a combination of wood and stone.  Walls provided a means of defending the city.  There could be a couple sets of walls - each thoroughly encircling the city and several feet separating the outer from inner wall.  Those who might want to do harm to those living within those walls were only able to do so if they could find a way past those walls.  Therefore, the integrity of the walls was quite important.  Broken down walls almost always ensured a city in ruins and with a people just too tired or lazy to do the repairs.  The land within the walls could have huge potential - as could the people - but the potential remained untapped simply because there were no defenses.  A person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls - no real defensive stand can be taken if you lack self-control.

A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out. (Proverbs 25:28 MSG)

Self-control is the ability to exercise restraint over one's feelings, emotions, and even your reactions.  Without this ability, your emotions run the gamut and you find yourself constantly reacting to what life brings your way instead of being at all "pro-active".  The emotions will come at your like hurricane force winds, leaving you with nothing but tons of debris in their wake.  We need not so much walls of "defensiveness", but definitely walls of solid "defense" - better known in scripture as self-control.  

The self-control "revolution" can be seen as learning to exercise will-power, but if we were very good at this would there be Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, lap band procedures, or even Lipozene?  Not likely!  We want instant results, without all the hard work of getting them.  Just like the city dwellers too lazy to repair their walls and ensure they have good defenses, we "react" to our lack of self-control by paying a big price to "undo" what our lack of a proactive approach to our eating has caused.  The city dwellers might lose their city - we lose a large chunk of cash and become a slave to the latest fads out there.

We have to begin to think of self-control not as merely will-power, but as the submission of our will (wants, wishes, desires) to a power greater than that which we normally can muster from within our own abilities.  In submitting our choices and thoughts to God, we are tapping into his abilities and not remaining limited by the ups and downs of our emotions.  Will-power is subject to our emotions - placing our will (mind, emotions, choices, etc.) into the hands of God takes emotion out of the driver's seat.

Truth be told, WE cannot control SELF.  We need a source greater than us to get that muddle of emotion and desire under control!  Best we leave this task clearly in the hands of the one who has all things under control - Jesus Christ. When we do, we are ensuring our "walls of defense" are secure and able to withstand the attacks of any interlopers into our emotions!  Just Sayin!

Principle 18: Exercise Self-Control

As little babies, we are fascinated with all things sparkly and bright colored. The slightest hint of gleam and we direct our attention toward the object.  It is part of our make-up to be drawn to that which pleases our senses, isn't it? Smell the wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread and your mouth begins to water for the enjoyment of savoring a warm slice lathered in rich butter.  See the shiny new car you have been dreaming of and you can see yourself behind the seat cruising down the street.  Hear the tender notes of some melody and your toes will start tapping with the beat.  Our bodies respond to stimulus from without, but that response begins on the INSIDE in response to the thing we are "taking in" through one of our senses.  Ever eaten one too many slices of luscious warm bread smothered in fresh butter?  How about going into debt to buy the shiny automobile you really could not afford?  Or perhaps listening to music in lieu of doing the one important thing which needed to be done? Yep, we've ALL been there!  Learning "temperance" is a difficult thing in this life, but if we don't exercise a little self-control over our "sensual intake", we will find ourselves in places we'd probably not like to be!

Who are the people who are always crying the blues?  Who do you know who reeks of self-pity?  Who keeps getting beat up for no reason at all?  Whose eyes are bleary and bloodshot?  It’s those who spend the night with a bottle, for whom drinking is serious business.  Don’t judge wine by its label, or its bouquet, or its full-bodied flavor.  Judge it rather by the hangover it leaves you with—the splitting headache, the queasy stomach. Do you really prefer seeing double, with your speech all slurred, reeling and seasick, drunk as a sailor?  “They hit me,” you’ll say, “but it didn’t hurt; they beat on me, but I didn’t feel a thing.  When I’m sober enough to manage it, bring me another drink!”  (Proverbs 23:29-35 MSG)

It seems like our passage only deals with the warning to avoid strong drink, but there are some very valuable principles we can take away from this one:

- We need to be aware of what appeals to the eye.  The "eye-gate" is the one "entry point" which we need to monitor first in our lives.  Sight is a tremendous gift - just ask anyone whose sight has been taken from them at some point and see if they don't agree.  Intake through sight becomes the place where imagination begins to take over.  We "see" and then we begin to imagine what we see as our own, how it will affect us if we could just take hold of what it is we see.  In the Garden of Eden, why was the serpent so successful when he posed his questions to Eve?  Perhaps it was because she had already been gazing at the fruit anyway!  Imagination as to the possibilities of partaking of what would ultimately be outside of God's plan for life tickled her senses - because she "saw" and seeing created desire.  Desire is not a bad thing, when tempered with self-control and the wisdom given by the Holy Spirit.  Desire gets out of hand when everything we see becomes something we have to get or partake in.  

- We need to be certain about what we hear.  Lots of times people tell us things which simply are not true.  If you don't believe me on that one, just remember the last time you were duped by an April Fools joke or some gimmick some vendor showed in order to get you to purchase something.  We cannot believe everything we hear and the advice here is to become "testers" of what we hear.  Maybe this is why I emphasize so frequently the need for each believer to really get to know the Word of God for themselves.  In so doing, you are ensuring you have the foundation to "test" what you hear, recognizing when it just doesn't seem to be quite right, and then seek the wisdom of the Holy Spirit's guidance to determine if this is just a new truth you haven't really grasped yet, or if it is truly something you need to reject.

- We need to be cognizant of our values.  You probably have heard the saying of not judging a book by its cover, but there is more to this saying than just nice sentiment.  When we have a set of core values which align with the Word of God and principles taught in scripture, we stand a better chance of "interpreting" input wisely.  We see individuals for their inherent worth in Christ Jesus, not what they contribute to society, or how influential they are in today's social circles.  We hear the sweetness, as well as longings of the heart of those who share their lives with us.  We learn to touch with the tenderness of compassion and gentleness of urging someone to move forward who has been stuck in a rut for a long time.  The values we learn at the foot of Jesus help us to put life in perspective, so we aren't drawn to the things which bring hurt or harm into either the lives of those we are in community with or our own.

In short, we have a great deal to learn about how our senses "drive" us and "pull" us toward certain behaviors and life views.  There is much in this life which can repel us, but probably much more which can draw us in if we are not exercising a little self-control.  The "shiny" doesn't always sparkle once we take hold of it!  The "luscious" doesn't always flatter once it is consumed! Just sayin!

"T" anyone?

We are almost done with our exploration of the character traits God desires to work into our lives.  As you may have well imagined, this list is far from complete, even with the ones I have listed along the way.  In fact, you probably thought of a few in the list which I did not mention - it is okay, because God is probably expanding that list for each of us as we explore these traits.  This was a starting point for us to consider how it is God builds character within - a starting point of beginning the moving from just knowledge in our heads about what God wants us to do into a place of allowing God to actually do it within!  As we explore our "T" List today, I chose just two traits:  Temperance and Truthfulness.  How we define temperance today is probably a little different than they did in the days of King James, but generally it means moderation.  It is the ability to exhibit a little self-restraint, especially where it applies to any of our "natural" appetites.  We think of this as passing on dessert when we know we don't need the extra calories, or perhaps it is avoiding awkward situations where you will be able to compromise your purity in a sexual sense.  Either way, the idea of self-restraint is one we kind of understand better than "temperance".  Truthfulness is more than just "telling the truth" - it is a lifestyle which "conforms to" truth.

Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don’t put it off; don’t frustrate God’s work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we’re doing. Our work as God’s servants gets validated—or not—in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we’re beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we’re telling the truth, and when God’s showing his power; when we’re doing our best setting things right; when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.  (2 Corinthians 6:2-10 MSG)

Let me begin by stating something quite obvious:  Living what we preach is hard work!  I remember hearing the phrase, "Do as I say, not as I do".  Now, what kind of conflict does that conjure up in your mind?  Isn't this just the way we are, though?  We say one thing, but end up doing another.  We don't want anyone else to pattern their actions after ours because they are inconsistent.  You are not in this boat alone, friend!  I am paddling right along with you!  There are even times when I lose the paddle and get set adrift for a while!  So, don't lose heart - you have traveling companions!

Look at what Paul says - our work as God's servants gets "validated" in the "details" of what we say and do.  What is more concerning to me is the next statement - people are watching us!  Eegads!  Don't you just wanna crawl under a rock about now?  So, this is where truthfulness and temperance come in, friends.  You see, when we begin to take our lives to God and allow him to remove the masks as we studied yesterday, we begin to live "real" lives.  Those real lives are filled with all kinds of things which need some "refining" and "cultivating", aren't they?  Some of the things we'd like to just have "refined" a little, God is actually working on taking completely out of our lives as they don't do a thing for his testimony in us.

Self-control is only learned in the midst of the compromising circumstance or situation.  You don't need it at any other time, do you?  So, it is a "trait" we call upon when we are tempted or in times of trial.  Amazing!  Paul doesn't paint a pretty picture when he talks about the testimony God had worked in his life, does he?  Nope - he talks about the reality of dealing with "stuff" in the here and now which he'd probably rather not have to deal with at all.  Things like hard times - when the going just gets rougher.  Or perhaps the sorrow is heavy upon us, bringing tears easily and heaviness of heart like nothing else can.  The truth is, people are watching us when these circumstances are upon us - because they want to see what Jesus would do with them!

Yep, you heard that correctly - they watch US because they want to see what JESUS will do with the circumstances!  When that saying first came out, it was all the rage, wasn't it?  What would Jesus do?  (WWJD)  People got bumper stickers, bracelets, book covers, necklaces, etc. - all brandishing the little logo "WWJD".  I wonder just how well that worked for them?  I would sometimes drive behind one of those cars and watch as they'd swerve in front of others, speed down the highway, or simply be doing stuff not safe to do while driving (texting, make-up application, etc.).  Truth be told, I was watching!  Looking for the testimony of Christ in their lives!

This is a tough message this morning - I am in the boat rowing, remember?  My testimony can sometimes not reflect the best self-control, nor the most truthful side.  Transparency is a hard process - one which requires vulnerability and a willingness to be under "scrutiny".  It also makes us a little more accountable for our behavior.  Maybe this is why God values it so much!  It helps to bring us to a place of accountability in our lives.  I think this is what Paul may have been saying about how he was living his life - he lived it out in the open, the good and the bad alike, hoping people would see more of Christ than they would of him.  Friends, this about all we can do - live as close to Jesus as possible in the moment, then trust him to do the rest.  We cannot get down on ourselves for each moment when self-control went out the window.  We can turn to Christ, ask for his help the next time, and for the courage to admit when we are faced with struggles beyond our capacity to deal with alone.  

Truthfulness and Temperance - getting to the point of living so Jesus is seen in our actions is the goal.  Remember, we only reach the goal as we take one step at a time.  There are no "teleporters" in this "character thing".  You cannot just ask to be "beamed up" and go from start to finish in the blink of an eye.  Character is a process - lesson upon lesson.  The key:  Keep rowing!  Just sayin!

M&M's anyone?

Today we will examine our "M" List - let's call it the "M&M's" of spiritual character: Mercy and Meekness.  Most of us really don't use the word "meek" or "meekness" in our vocabulary all that often, so we will do well to refresh ourselves on its meaning.  Mercy seems to be something we pretty much understand - at least in theory, if not in perfect practice yet in our lives!  The Sermon on the Mount is the location for our two passages today - the first describing the character trait of meekness, the second mercy.  Let's dig in...

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought." (Matthew 5:5 MSG)

“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for." (Matthew 5:7 MSG)

Now, you may not have seen either word in these passages, but if you go to a more "traditional" translation, you will observe they read:  ⁵ Blessed are the meek (the mild, patient, long-suffering), for they shall inherit the earth! and ⁷ Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy!  So, let's look again at the translation I chose for today's passages.  

First, Jesus says we are blessed (happy, joyous) when we become content with just who we are - a state of no longer trying to keep up with everybody else, being settled into the place where God has us, and just enjoying it to the fullest.  Meekness is really the result of being right where God wants you and doing exactly what God wants you to do.  In fact, when we are in this state, we find our behavior is the result of the inner working of God in our lives.  There is an inward "tempering" of our spirit that helps us accept everything God is doing in our lives as "good" - even when it may not appear so on the surface.  When we see meekness in another, we see the ability and willingness of the person to accept God's dealings without disputing them or putting up a ton of resistance.  It is more than being "resigned" to what God is doing - it is being intentional in the pursuit of what he is doing, because we know the activity of his Spirit in us only produces the best results, even when the journey may get a little "rough".

Meekness in today's vernacular is really what many will call "self-control".  Truly, this character trait is not weakness, or the absence of a backbone.  It is the evidence of inward power - the type of power that does not come naturally to any of us.  It is the result of the inner working of Christ in us.  It is the limitless resources of his power within.  In fact, when we exhibit true meekness we are showing much less "self-assertiveness" or "self-interest".  We are revealing "control" of self - not self in control.  Many times people equate meekness with some kind of "mamby-pamby" kind of response to life's issues - like someone just standing there and "taking it".  It is just the opposite, for meekness is really "active participation" in resisting the urge to take control and doing things our own way.

Second, mercy is "partnered" with meekness simply because we learn the lessons of mercy most in the midst of learning the lessons of meekness!  In fact, as we journey through the things God wants us to walk through with him in order for his power to be revealed in us, we find we need a whole lot of his mercy to embrace the actions of meekness being produced.  Self will rise up repeatedly, resisting the actions of God - we need mercy to put self back into place!  

Too many times, I think we believe mercy is just needed for dealing with sin.  The truth be told, we need mercy each breath we breathe!  Mercy is what helps us relate to the goodness of God and it is what helps others see the goodness of God in our lives.  Mercy is the trait of being "cared for" and then sharing an equal amount of care for another when they most need it.  It is the trait we sometimes equate with "empathy" - being compassionate with others who often struggle with exactly the same things you have or are presently struggling with.  We often "behave" in a manner quite the opposite of being merciful, don't we?  In fact, when we see the behavior in another, we often are critical of it.  Letting God express his mercy in our lives is one thing - extending the same mercy to another takes it up a notch!  

Now, look at mercy in conjunction with meekness.  When we begin to realize we ALL go through the same struggles of dealing with the "determined self-will", we might begin to recognize the behavior in another is simply a manifestation of the same things we might have already "struggled through".  We probably "resisted" a little at first, leaning heavily on God's grace to help us through, and we needed a whole lot more mercy each step we took toward breaking free of that struggle with our "self-will".  As we actively participated with what God was doing in our lives, we began to see the evidence of God's "re-creating work" in us as meekness began to take root.  In the course of time, responding to what God was doing became easier and we actually "resisted" less.  The thing is, we all go through this similar "up and down" kind of struggle until the change is evident.  Repeatedly we will need to lean upon the mercy of God and others.  Repeatedly we will need to rely upon the "strength" of meekness learned in our last lessons to get us through our present.

So, meekness is really a "strength", not a weakness.  Mercy is really the ability to live above being critical of self and others, because we all are going through the same stuff, the outward appearance of the struggle may just look a little different.  Just sayin!

Don't quit on me now!

 ^4-6 When they hear what you have to say, God, all earth's kings will say "Thank you."  They'll sing of what you've done: "How great the glory of God!"  And here's why: God, high above, sees far below; no matter the distance, he knows everything about us.  ^7-8 When I walk into the thick of trouble, keep me alive in the angry turmoil. With one hand strike my foes, with your other hand save me.  Finish what you started in me, God. Your love is eternal—don't quit on me now.

(Psalm 138:4-8)

David had a special way of telling us about how God interacts with is children.  This psalm is just another example of what David had come to know about the Lord he served.  Imagine all kinds of this earth proclaiming that God is great and that his glory is high above all other!  David must have been speaking prophetically here, because we sure have not seen the day where we can say that the kings are giving glory to God like that!

The crux of this psalm is really found just after that - God, high above, sees far below!  We may not "see" him, but he sees us!  If nothing else, the fact that God even notices humankind should bring us to our knees!  David is quite clear when he says that "no matter the distance, he knows everything about us".  Wow!  Nothing escapes his notice - nothing is overlooked for his intervention.  Too many times we come to the conclusion that we are in the thick of things all alone - no one noticing the mess we are in.  Just the opposite is true - God never misses a beat!

David's plea is that God will finish what he began in David's life.  Those are words that literally tug at the heart-strings of God's infinitely large heart!  All of heaven knows that we are not very good at finishing what WE start!  We make starts and stops like jackrabbits on a hot day!  There is very little consistency in our walk, but God sees it all - both the starts and the stops.  Both attract his attention.  When we cry out for him to finish what HE started, forgetting what it is the WE started, his hands are quick to go into action on our behalf.

Why does God let us start things on our own when he knows they will end in failure?  I imagine it is so we will learn just how insufficient our self-will, self-dependence, and self-determination are.  Once we fail, we consider the error of OUR ways and are often open to considering the blessing of GOD's ways.  God never asked for us to be robots - under his control and just going through the motions of serving him.  He wants us to come to the conclusion that his ways are better than our own - so he allows us to experience the results of our own actions.

Then end result is usually that end up calling out like David, "Finish what you started God!  I got it all messed up when I tried it on my own!"  I honestly believe that God unleashes all of heaven's resources at those very words!  He never misses a step we take - all the while just waiting to hear that we need him to finish what he began!  Glory!  

The voice of "me"

 ¹⁹ Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger;
   if you try to make it better, you'll only make it worse. 

(Proverbs 19:19)

There is a message in this passage that has two-sides to it.  The first is the fact that short-fused individuals reap a return on their lack of self-control quicker than they'd like.  The end-result of their outbursts is that a "wake" is left.  That wake leaves damages that are often unable to be repaired.  Trust is lost, respect is disintegrated, and relationships are brought to ruin.

Yet, the most dangerous place to be is in the middle trying to either "reign in" or "mitigate the fall-out" of the outbursts of an individual that has no real sense of what their outbursts are doing.  At some point, we may need to step back.  When we are in the middle, the backlash affects us often more than it does the individual with the lack of self-control.  How many times do we get "involved" in something that was the direct result of somebody else's lack of "self-control"?  

Self-control is just that - it is the ability to respond with internal measures of control that allow us to "reign ourselves in"!  To attempt to mitigate the lack of self-control of another is like trying to hold back the waters of a mighty swelling floodwater!

²⁷ If you quit listening, dear child, and strike off on your own,
   you'll soon be out of your depth. 

(Proverbs 19:27)

This second passage from the nineteenth Proverb struck me this morning because it presents the reality of not heeding direction - we get into deep waters.  Don't miss the fact that the writer implies that at some point we STOP listening.  That implies that at some point, we were.  Either by conscious decision, or unconscious lack of self-control, we stopped.

When we stop listening to the wise counsel of those that God has placed in our lives, we open ourselves up to listening to loudest voice.  That could be our own voice, crying out "I don't get it!", "What is up with this?", or "This is so wrong!"  It could be the voice of others who also have stopped listening to wise counsel, crying out "We were wronged!", "This is unfair!", or "No one ever listens to us!"  

It really doesn't matter what the message is - the center of that message is almost always directed the perception that "me" did not get heard, their wish granted, or their plans heeded.  "Me" gets in the way of a whole lot of wise choices!  The most dangerous part of listening to the voice of "me" is that "me" soon finds itself out in the deep waters of adversity and realizes that "me" is all alone in that place of uncertainty.

The sooner that we recognize that the voice of "me" is not always the most reliable voice to respond to, the better our chances are of remaining on stable footing!