So, that's what I needed!

Ever eat your words? I have and they don't taste too good sometimes! A meal of my words sometimes consists of a plateful of complaining, a side dish of fretful words, and a handful of impractical advice. We all have those moments when our words don't actually match up to our intentions, don't we? They just kind of tumble out without our even noticing they did - all because we weren't paying attention. Did you realize that was one factor in communication? Paying attention is probably the biggest factor in communicating our thoughts in such a way that they not only make sense, but so they are spoken in kindness, with a degree of intellect, and in a manner than actually helps build the relationship instead of tearing it down! A person eats well when he speaks wisely - but if we forget to engage our minds in the process of speaking, we will likely only dine on some pretty nasty stuff.

A person eats well when he speaks wisely, but the treacherous crave violence. Those who guard their speech insure they will take another breath, but those who talk without thinking guarantee their demise. (Proverbs 13:2-3)

Wise speech isn't haphazard - it is intentional. We take time to get the right stuff into our lives up front, ensuring what comes out stands a better chance of being tempered by that 'right stuff'. For example, listening to the Word of God on occasion is not only uplifting to your soul, but it fills your mind with a framework upon which you can 'build out' wise actions, including wise speech. I like to listen to it on one of my apps: BibleGateway.com. While I like to read the word in print, listening it to it being read to me adds a different 'spin' to my 'intake' of the Word. It isn't that I don't have time to read it myself, but I 'supplement' my reading with an occasional 15-30 minutes of listening to the Psalms or some other passages that help to 'fill my tank', so to speak. There is more than one way to learn - listening is a good way.

Wise speech is more than just nice words - it involves words that are passed through various 'filters' to ensure they are the best words we can bring forward. There are lots of filters we pass things through in our bodies in a physical sense. For example, your kidneys help to filter your blood of impurities that you excrete in urine. Your intestines filter foodstuffs so that nutrients are removed and waste is eliminated. Your liver removes all manner of toxins from your blood, keeping you healthy and strong. Filters are a good thing, but if we never take care of them, they don't work very well. I have an air conditioning filter in my ceiling in the hallway. I change it regularly near the first of the month. Why? It helps to keep the air flowing without overworking the unit on the roof, but it also helps to keep dust out of my house. Filters help us to keep things 'pure' and 'good'. 

We can put a lot of spin on our words, so learning how to avoid the 'spin' and get down to the words that actually help us grow stronger together is important. My dad was one of the best salesmen I have ever met. He honestly could sell ice to Eskimos! He had a way of spinning the words so you felt you needed what he was selling. In truth, dad didn't do anyone wrong. He had a way of listening to your needs and then helping you develop the best course of action. If he was selling used cars, he listened to what your needed - something to haul the kiddos, or a small vehicle that conserved gas. If he was selling mobile homes, he learned about what you liked to do - if you enjoyed cooking and baking, he helped you get the most out of the kitchen space so you could enjoy that hobby. The thing that made dad good at what he did was his power of listening. Wise speech begins with listening, then it brings forward what is needed. Just sayin!

Batter up!

When baseball was just starting out as a national pastime, the pitching was a whole lot different than it is today.  You'd hear the announcer say over the crackly loud speaker system, "Here comes the wind-up..." In a few quick moves, the pitcher would go through various "contortions" until there was a sudden release of the ball, sending it sailing toward home plate. It was the "wind-up" that gave the ball its speed. Without the wind-up, the ball was not likely to cross the plate, but if it did - the batter was more likely to hit it dead on, sending it as far as his swing would allow. The beginning of a quarrel in terms of this 'game of life' we play every day is something like the "wind-up" of the "pitch" that will send the entire conversation into a direction it may never have intended to go! Learning to control the "pitch" often determines if the 'argument' ball will ever reach home plate!

The start of a quarrel is like a leak in a dam, so stop it before it bursts. (Proverbs 17:14 The Message)

The leaky dam is probably not much of a threat or very intimidating until it begins to expand! Just as the ball in the hand of the pitcher is no threat until it is released toward the plate, the thoughts we think in the moment are not much of a threat until they are spoken when they probably shouldn't have been spoken at all! A small leak in a huge dam can keep a structural engineer up at nights! I wonder if perhaps a small word spoken in haste keeps any of us up at nights? Maybe they do more than we actually are aware they do! If you have read my blog for any length of time, you have probably heard me say, "Think everything you say, but don't say everything you think!" Not sure where I first heard this, but it has stuck with me for years and years. I have repeated it many times and many have their own "ah-haw" moment with this tiny seed thought about the power of words. Not everything we think is worth speaking. Some words are just not wise to speak simply because the relationship is not strong enough, the words are unkind, or the words are not meant to be spoke in this moment of time (or perhaps not at all).  

We often "wind-up" long before we launch the words which will "cross the plate". The words that quickly lead up to the "explosive" pitch are often more important than any others we speak - especially when the "pitched words" come across rather harsh or in a strong manner. In leading up to the "pitch", we often say a whole lot of other stuff that seems insignificant at the moment, but when the "pitch" is released, they ALL hit home in one way or another! The other important thing to realize is the purpose of the "wind-up". It is designed to INCREASE the velocity of the ball's delivery at home plate! If our words leading up to the "final pitch" do the same thing, no wonder the "pitch" carries such a punch when those words are heard by the others in our lives! The "build-up" to the actual words that end up culminating in a quarrel are merely those that give "velocity" to the quarrel.  

A wise pitcher learns to control the ball. A wild ball may indeed cost him the entirely otherwise well-played game. Learning to control our words is much like the control of the ball in the pitcher's hand. When we learn to understand the difference between being "set" on the mound and being in the full "wind up" mode, we learn a lot about control. The "set" is when the pitcher has an eye on all the other players in the game - he is acutely aware of what is happening on the field around him - aware of the tiniest of movement. The "wind up" is when the pitcher is set into action to deliver the ball across home plate! Each has a purpose - one has more risk than the other. Watching other players, seeing their moves, being aware of their desire to "advance" a base, are skills wisely learned by the one who takes the mound. Learning to use the pitch wisely is equally as important. A poorly executed pitch is never going to go well for the pitcher! We need to learn to be wise with the use of our words. The words we choose not to speak are just as important as those we do! As we learn what gives "velocity" to our word delivery, we also can learn what brings "control" - remembering that not every word is worthy of making it across home plate! Just sayin!