Principle 18: Exercise Self-Control

As little babies, we are fascinated with all things sparkly and bright colored. The slightest hint of gleam and we direct our attention toward the object.  It is part of our make-up to be drawn to that which pleases our senses, isn't it? Smell the wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread and your mouth begins to water for the enjoyment of savoring a warm slice lathered in rich butter.  See the shiny new car you have been dreaming of and you can see yourself behind the seat cruising down the street.  Hear the tender notes of some melody and your toes will start tapping with the beat.  Our bodies respond to stimulus from without, but that response begins on the INSIDE in response to the thing we are "taking in" through one of our senses.  Ever eaten one too many slices of luscious warm bread smothered in fresh butter?  How about going into debt to buy the shiny automobile you really could not afford?  Or perhaps listening to music in lieu of doing the one important thing which needed to be done? Yep, we've ALL been there!  Learning "temperance" is a difficult thing in this life, but if we don't exercise a little self-control over our "sensual intake", we will find ourselves in places we'd probably not like to be!

Who are the people who are always crying the blues?  Who do you know who reeks of self-pity?  Who keeps getting beat up for no reason at all?  Whose eyes are bleary and bloodshot?  It’s those who spend the night with a bottle, for whom drinking is serious business.  Don’t judge wine by its label, or its bouquet, or its full-bodied flavor.  Judge it rather by the hangover it leaves you with—the splitting headache, the queasy stomach. Do you really prefer seeing double, with your speech all slurred, reeling and seasick, drunk as a sailor?  “They hit me,” you’ll say, “but it didn’t hurt; they beat on me, but I didn’t feel a thing.  When I’m sober enough to manage it, bring me another drink!”  (Proverbs 23:29-35 MSG)

It seems like our passage only deals with the warning to avoid strong drink, but there are some very valuable principles we can take away from this one:

- We need to be aware of what appeals to the eye.  The "eye-gate" is the one "entry point" which we need to monitor first in our lives.  Sight is a tremendous gift - just ask anyone whose sight has been taken from them at some point and see if they don't agree.  Intake through sight becomes the place where imagination begins to take over.  We "see" and then we begin to imagine what we see as our own, how it will affect us if we could just take hold of what it is we see.  In the Garden of Eden, why was the serpent so successful when he posed his questions to Eve?  Perhaps it was because she had already been gazing at the fruit anyway!  Imagination as to the possibilities of partaking of what would ultimately be outside of God's plan for life tickled her senses - because she "saw" and seeing created desire.  Desire is not a bad thing, when tempered with self-control and the wisdom given by the Holy Spirit.  Desire gets out of hand when everything we see becomes something we have to get or partake in.  

- We need to be certain about what we hear.  Lots of times people tell us things which simply are not true.  If you don't believe me on that one, just remember the last time you were duped by an April Fools joke or some gimmick some vendor showed in order to get you to purchase something.  We cannot believe everything we hear and the advice here is to become "testers" of what we hear.  Maybe this is why I emphasize so frequently the need for each believer to really get to know the Word of God for themselves.  In so doing, you are ensuring you have the foundation to "test" what you hear, recognizing when it just doesn't seem to be quite right, and then seek the wisdom of the Holy Spirit's guidance to determine if this is just a new truth you haven't really grasped yet, or if it is truly something you need to reject.

- We need to be cognizant of our values.  You probably have heard the saying of not judging a book by its cover, but there is more to this saying than just nice sentiment.  When we have a set of core values which align with the Word of God and principles taught in scripture, we stand a better chance of "interpreting" input wisely.  We see individuals for their inherent worth in Christ Jesus, not what they contribute to society, or how influential they are in today's social circles.  We hear the sweetness, as well as longings of the heart of those who share their lives with us.  We learn to touch with the tenderness of compassion and gentleness of urging someone to move forward who has been stuck in a rut for a long time.  The values we learn at the foot of Jesus help us to put life in perspective, so we aren't drawn to the things which bring hurt or harm into either the lives of those we are in community with or our own.

In short, we have a great deal to learn about how our senses "drive" us and "pull" us toward certain behaviors and life views.  There is much in this life which can repel us, but probably much more which can draw us in if we are not exercising a little self-control.  The "shiny" doesn't always sparkle once we take hold of it!  The "luscious" doesn't always flatter once it is consumed! Just sayin!

"T" anyone?

We are almost done with our exploration of the character traits God desires to work into our lives.  As you may have well imagined, this list is far from complete, even with the ones I have listed along the way.  In fact, you probably thought of a few in the list which I did not mention - it is okay, because God is probably expanding that list for each of us as we explore these traits.  This was a starting point for us to consider how it is God builds character within - a starting point of beginning the moving from just knowledge in our heads about what God wants us to do into a place of allowing God to actually do it within!  As we explore our "T" List today, I chose just two traits:  Temperance and Truthfulness.  How we define temperance today is probably a little different than they did in the days of King James, but generally it means moderation.  It is the ability to exhibit a little self-restraint, especially where it applies to any of our "natural" appetites.  We think of this as passing on dessert when we know we don't need the extra calories, or perhaps it is avoiding awkward situations where you will be able to compromise your purity in a sexual sense.  Either way, the idea of self-restraint is one we kind of understand better than "temperance".  Truthfulness is more than just "telling the truth" - it is a lifestyle which "conforms to" truth.

Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don’t put it off; don’t frustrate God’s work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we’re doing. Our work as God’s servants gets validated—or not—in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we’re beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we’re telling the truth, and when God’s showing his power; when we’re doing our best setting things right; when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.  (2 Corinthians 6:2-10 MSG)

Let me begin by stating something quite obvious:  Living what we preach is hard work!  I remember hearing the phrase, "Do as I say, not as I do".  Now, what kind of conflict does that conjure up in your mind?  Isn't this just the way we are, though?  We say one thing, but end up doing another.  We don't want anyone else to pattern their actions after ours because they are inconsistent.  You are not in this boat alone, friend!  I am paddling right along with you!  There are even times when I lose the paddle and get set adrift for a while!  So, don't lose heart - you have traveling companions!

Look at what Paul says - our work as God's servants gets "validated" in the "details" of what we say and do.  What is more concerning to me is the next statement - people are watching us!  Eegads!  Don't you just wanna crawl under a rock about now?  So, this is where truthfulness and temperance come in, friends.  You see, when we begin to take our lives to God and allow him to remove the masks as we studied yesterday, we begin to live "real" lives.  Those real lives are filled with all kinds of things which need some "refining" and "cultivating", aren't they?  Some of the things we'd like to just have "refined" a little, God is actually working on taking completely out of our lives as they don't do a thing for his testimony in us.

Self-control is only learned in the midst of the compromising circumstance or situation.  You don't need it at any other time, do you?  So, it is a "trait" we call upon when we are tempted or in times of trial.  Amazing!  Paul doesn't paint a pretty picture when he talks about the testimony God had worked in his life, does he?  Nope - he talks about the reality of dealing with "stuff" in the here and now which he'd probably rather not have to deal with at all.  Things like hard times - when the going just gets rougher.  Or perhaps the sorrow is heavy upon us, bringing tears easily and heaviness of heart like nothing else can.  The truth is, people are watching us when these circumstances are upon us - because they want to see what Jesus would do with them!

Yep, you heard that correctly - they watch US because they want to see what JESUS will do with the circumstances!  When that saying first came out, it was all the rage, wasn't it?  What would Jesus do?  (WWJD)  People got bumper stickers, bracelets, book covers, necklaces, etc. - all brandishing the little logo "WWJD".  I wonder just how well that worked for them?  I would sometimes drive behind one of those cars and watch as they'd swerve in front of others, speed down the highway, or simply be doing stuff not safe to do while driving (texting, make-up application, etc.).  Truth be told, I was watching!  Looking for the testimony of Christ in their lives!

This is a tough message this morning - I am in the boat rowing, remember?  My testimony can sometimes not reflect the best self-control, nor the most truthful side.  Transparency is a hard process - one which requires vulnerability and a willingness to be under "scrutiny".  It also makes us a little more accountable for our behavior.  Maybe this is why God values it so much!  It helps to bring us to a place of accountability in our lives.  I think this is what Paul may have been saying about how he was living his life - he lived it out in the open, the good and the bad alike, hoping people would see more of Christ than they would of him.  Friends, this about all we can do - live as close to Jesus as possible in the moment, then trust him to do the rest.  We cannot get down on ourselves for each moment when self-control went out the window.  We can turn to Christ, ask for his help the next time, and for the courage to admit when we are faced with struggles beyond our capacity to deal with alone.  

Truthfulness and Temperance - getting to the point of living so Jesus is seen in our actions is the goal.  Remember, we only reach the goal as we take one step at a time.  There are no "teleporters" in this "character thing".  You cannot just ask to be "beamed up" and go from start to finish in the blink of an eye.  Character is a process - lesson upon lesson.  The key:  Keep rowing!  Just sayin!