The tongue and our steps

If you have ever tried to "watch your steps", you might just have tripped over your own two feet!  Worse, you actually are paying so close attention to your steps, you miss the post in front of you and run smack-dab into it!  You probably notice this the most whenever you are trying to watch what you say; for words can be the toughest things to keep a rein on, can't they?  At the moment we determine to watch our words, we can almost count on something slipping past our lips, out into the open space between us and the one who will hear them, never to be in our control again!  The main issue with US determining we are gong to influence our steps or control our tongue is our total inability to do either!  We definitely need some influence outside of our own effort to get this stuff right, don't we?

I’m determined to watch steps and tongue so they won’t land me in trouble.  (Psalm 39:1 MSG)

The very next verse of this psalm points to the dilemma we all face:  But as I stood there in silence—not even speaking of good things—the turmoil within me grew worse. (vs. 2 NLT)  Yep, he stood his ground, kept his peace, but when surrounded by evil, the toughest thing to do is remain strong in your stand and to hold your peace when everything inside you is just beckoning to share a little of your thought on the matter!  Perhaps the toughest struggle comes to us when we are faced with something we don't have the best feelings about and then we try to bring out some good feelings or speak forth some good words in the midst of the turmoil.  I think this may just be because we don't want to be in-genuine, or hypocritical.

So, how do we "watch our steps" when the road ahead is not very pleasant? What is it we can do to pay closer attention to our steps, but avoid the tendency to misstep?  I think the "secret" to this lies not in our desire, but in our action.  As long as WE are taking the steps to walk straight, we probably won't realize how treacherous some of our steps actually are!  We need the influence of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to guide our steps - to keep us on track - and to establish us on a strong foundation.  Some things to consider:

- OUR steps aren't consistent without the help of the Holy Spirit.  He is our enabling force when we just don't know how to take the first step and he is our directing force when we just might be about to change the course of our future stability with the step we are about to take.

- OUR ears and heart have more to do with the stability of our walk than we might actually realize.  It is more than action - it is the right action which produces the outcomes we desire.  Our ears must be attentive to listen for the still small voice of God - maybe in a word we glean in our time in daily study, maybe in a tiny whisper deep within our inner man that just "checks" us before we go any further.  Our heart must be willing to be directed - otherwise the steps we take will be ours - directed by our self-will and independent determination.

How do we "watch our tongue" when there are so many words just clamoring to get out?  After all, the world needs to hear what it is we have to say, doesn't it?  Maybe I could challenge us all a little on that one - not everything we think is worth speaking!  The psalmist often spoke of just being still and listening - something we might do well to engage in a little more frequently in this new year, huh?  Listening is one of the toughest things because we just want to jump right in and shed a little of our "light" on the matter.  Some things to consider as it applies to "watching our tongue":

- The tongue needs more help than we may actually realize.  Scripture bears witness to the fact of the words being spoken often acting as the first thing which plants the seed of thought which will determine our steps.  Think about it - Adam and Eve only took the first misstep AFTER the serpent spoke the words which placed a moment of doubt and a little confusion into the minds of the listener!  

- The words we listen to will often influence the words we choose to speak. In determining to keep a watch over our tongue, we are actually committing to keeping a watch over our ears, eyes, and other senses, as well.  What we hear influences what we speak.  What we see puts fresh thought into our minds which may not have been there before, influencing our speech in ways we may not imagine.

Lest we think we can do this on our own, let me just point us back to scripture.  James 3 reminds us of the means of controlling our tongue.  He presents the idea of a bit in the mouth of the horse, or the rudder on the ship - each being able to control something more powerful than either the bit or the rudder would appear to control.  We may not realize the influence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, often because we don't see him at work!  Yet, he is like the bit in the mouth of the horse, pulling back a little until we sense his presence and begin to be aware of his influence.  He is definitely like the rudder on the ship, slowly, but surely moving us into the direction he wants to see us headed.  

We don't own the rudder or the bit - but we are influenced by them if they are in place in our lives!  A ship without a rudder is like a man or woman without direction - aimlessly walking, purposeless in their speech.  A rudder pointed in the wrong direction will run us aground.  Therefore, we need someone other than ourselves doing the "steering" in our lives.  Just sayin!

Leading or Following - who's on first?

Lead and follow - two directional words, each conveying a little different action from us.  To lead, one is guiding something in a certain direction - the direction already being predetermined and the course understood.  To follow, one moves behind, but in the same direction as the one who leads.  It is most hard to get our ears to be leaders and our tongue followers, isn't it?  Most of the time, we allow our tongues to lead and then surprise our ears with whatever our tongues say!

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.  (James 1:19-21 MSG)

This passage makes it quite clear why we might just have some of the issues in life we face today.  It is in the "order" in which we conduct ourselves!  Have you really stopped to consider this passage?  James tells us to POST this at all intersections of our lives - simply because the point he is making is valuable in ALL relationships we have!  If we listen first, speak second, and let anger take a seat very far back on the bus, we might just fair a little better!

There are so many passages in the scriptures about our words - if something is spoken about so much, it is important for us to pay attention to what is written for our guidance.  So, let's tear this down a little...

1. Lead with your ears.  I think this is where we get into trouble most of the time.  It isn't the "not listening" which always does us in, but it is also in the "who" or "what" we are listening to.  Yesterday, I focused on having God at the center of our lives - keeping him foremost in our minds, hearts, emotions, and spirit.  As long as self is in the center, sin will get a foothold.  We will be following a fickle leader!  For self is not "stable" in any of its choices - it lives for the whims and fancies of today.  When we finally come to the place of stopping the "self-improvement" campaigns in our lives, we begin to place ourselves in a position of being spoken to by the Spirit of God.  This is the voice we should heed - not our own.  Get under the right authority and the following becomes easier!  I once heard someone say we need to turn our thoughts into a discussion with God.  If we become proficient in this practice, the voices we hear will be trustworthy and fixed on the best for our lives.

2. Follow up with your tongue.  James is focusing on the damage of the reverse - leading with the tongue - speaking before thinking.  If our thoughts become discussions with God, allowing him to lead us down the paths he would have us follow, we will be less likely to make rash statements, promises we never intend to fulfill, or commitments which are just too burdensome to ever complete.  

3. Let anger straggle along in the rear.  Now, look at this - he doesn't say if we hear first, answer second, there will never be any anger in the mix.  He simply says it doesn't even bear a close place within the relationship because there is less likelihood of anger being a strong "contender".  

So, how do we get to this place of leading with our ears, following up with our tongues, and seeing anger actually being in a win, place or show in our lives? The answer is found in the next portion of the passage - we let God landscape us with his Word.  If you are a daily follower of this blog, you probably already have a desire to have your life "landscaped" with his Word.  Do you know what a landscaper sets out to do?  He alters the contour of what he is given, adding to it things of beauty and depth in order to improve not only the appearance, but the general well-being of that which he works with.  God is doing this in our lives with his Word.  He sometimes has to smooth out some rough spots in us - at other times, he has to dig deeper so some things will take solid root.

The Word is a powerful tool in the hands of a skilled landscaper such as the Holy Spirit.  When we listen first, allowing ourselves to be lead in our actions, we find the follow up is quite different than we imagined!  It is like when I go to the subject-matter-expert in a particular industry - if I listen intently to what they are teaching, I get a different perspective on the possibilities of what it is I will do with the tools they give me.  God's Word is merely a tool in the hands of a skilled landscaper.  Isn't it about time we allow a little landscaping in our lives to begin the transformation of barren ground which needs a little altering of its contours?  Just askin!

Watch out for the fire!

Have you ever experienced a "temper-fire"?  Over the last couple of years, the Arizona forests have had their share of challenging fires.  Some ignited by man, others ignited by nature, but all damaging in their effects.  Fire has a way of "catching" and "taking hold" quicker than we can imagine.  A few week's ago, we had a fire in our neighborhood.  The entire home was lost to the ravages of the licking flames.  The destruction of one spark resulted in the complete devastation of the home.  Fire is indeed not a thing to be taken lightly, especially when it is a "temper-fire".

A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.  (Proverbs 15:1 MSG)  

Temper-fires are those moments in time when we put on display the heat of anger - sudden outbursts - sparks of passion which can "catch" quicker than we realize.  One thing to keep in mind as we begin this study is the condition of mind which is behind this kind of "fire".  First of all, it is a habit - not a one time deal - but a well-practiced, frequently occurring way of responding.  Second, it is a disposition - it is our characteristic attitude.  In other words, we come to be known by the impact of this attitude.  Not sure about you, but this is not the way I want to be known!

Our disposition is the prevailing or dominant tendency of our spirit (that which animates us).  Where the spirit goes, so does our emotion.  Let emotions rule and you end up seeing flames where only a spark may have been!  When we say a metal is "tempered", we are referring to a process of adding carbon to steel, so as to make it harder.  The purpose of adding carbon to the steel is to make it "abrasive".  Hmmm....I wonder if it would be okay to think of our "temper" as making us "hard" and a little "abrasive"?  When we begin to see the influence of the "tempering" process, we might just want to see our "temper" become a thing of the past!

Solomon compared the "sharp tongue" as "kindling" a temper "fire".  Hmmm...the way metal is tempered is through fire.  The way sharpness is produced is by making the metal harder and harder.  So, take this down a notch and we will realize the "harder tongued" are probably finding themselves in and out of the fire a lot!  Tempering the metal is a process of heating up, cooling down, and heating up again.  Isn't this an accurate description of a man's temper?  It heats us, quickly cools, then reheats again - almost without warning!

What are the attributes of a sharp tongue?  One characteristic is criticism.  The sharp-tongued are those who hurl criticisms quicker than compliments.  A long time ago, when facing criticism which was unkind and really hurt, someone told me "it takes one to know one".  In other words, the one criticizing me actually struggled with the same thing I did!  Only they were unable to see it, or admit it!  Now, this did not bring me much comfort at the time, but in the years which have followed, I now consider criticism differently.  Criticism is an action of passing judgment - something scripture quickly warns us not to engage in.  There is only one judge - God.  He is the only one who can see the "big picture", so he is the only one who can weigh the intentions of the heart and know if a man is right or wrong.  Since criticism is a form of passing judgment without all the facts, it stands to reason how this can act as a "spark" which results in an all-out fire!  

Another characteristic of the sharp tongue is bitterness.  This attribute is often not "seen" as much as it is "heard".  Let me explain.  Bitterness has a way of manifesting in our words first - actions follow.  There is a stinging, almost piercing effect to bitter words.  They often display hurt or betrayal.  There is an intensity to them which almost comes across as hostile - maybe not toward you, but toward someone in the person's past or present who has done a number on them!  Bitterness doesn't develop in a moment - it takes a period of time to take hold.  You know, a fire doesn't just spring up - it takes time to take hold, but once it has a hold - watch out!

One last characteristic to consider is the tendency of the sharp tongue to be sarcastic.  Sarcasm is a form of "cutting words" which really can be masked behind other words.  Regardless of how we try to mask the sarcasm, it mocks another.  It conveys scorn and contempt.  Now, think of the fire for a moment.  As a Girl Scout, I was taught to never "disrespect" the fire.  In other words, be ever aware of the glowing embers.  No fire was ever completely out just by kicking a little dirt over it.  You had to smother it out!  Sarcasm can continue to do great damage when it is "smoldering" and just waiting for the moment to take hold again - spouting out those cutting words as easily as a fire creates its cutting flames!

No wonder Solomon warns us of the sharp tongue!  No wonder he likens its effect to a "fire-starter".  Remember this, as well - you cannot go in and out of the flames too many times without becoming affected by the flames!  At first, you might just bear the tell-traces of the fire, such as the smell of the smoke on your clothes.  In time, you will begin to see evidence of the charring effect of the flames.  Go in and out of the flames long enough and you will eventually find yourself "converted" by the flames - into something which gives hardness - carbon!  Isn't carbon one of the main elements of coal?  Don't we use goal to make even more flames?  Hmmm...seems to be a cycle here, huh?

Just some perspective on the "temper-fire" we might be setting if we are given to a sharp tongue.  If we aren't the one with the sharp tongue, we likely know someone with one.  Either way, God can douse the flames of the fire, but first he has to be join the "fire-fighting" team!  You cannot do it alone - he must "captain" our fire brigade!  Just sayin!