It might just hurt...

Of all possessions a friend is the most precious. (Herodotus)

God-friendship is for God-worshipers; They are the ones he confides in. (Psalm 25:14)

Friendship with God is desirable - in fact, it is the best 'friendship' we can find in life. We all know the value of a good friend - someone we can confide in, sharing both our doubts and hopes openly. It is a different type of relationship we have with God, though. We share our most intimate confidences with him - at least that is what we believe we are doing. Have you ever wanted to talk with him about something that was just eating at you, but you were 'afraid' he might react to whatever you want to tell him in a way you might not like? It isn't that you don't trust him, it is that you don't trust yourself to respond to his wisdom in the way that he expects.

God isn't going to ask us to do something that will hurt us. If we are honest, we are afraid what he asks will cause us some degree of 'pain', so we don't discuss the subject at hand. We mask over it as though it weren't there. I haven't found that to work very well in my own relationship with him. In fact, whenever I try to mask over something we need to be talking about, he keeps bringing me back around to that very subject! It is like I cannot escape it until it out in the open with him. He didn't want me to feel 'pain' by bringing that thing out into the open with him - he wanted me to feel his 'peace' and 'grace' to deal with it - openly and honestly.

Yes, it may hurt to be that open with God - but we may just need to let ourselves get a little 'hurt' if we are to experience the health we need. No surgeon promises we won't experience some pain - they tell us they will do their best to control it. God asks us to open up to him, but he never promises us he won't 'meddle in our business' just a bit when we do. If we are honest here, we don't like God to 'meddle' sometimes. We want all the 'perks' of this relationship with him without him getting into those areas we don't want 'meddled with'. God isn't 'meddling' - he is asking us to no longer fear his presence in those areas.

We may not understand this desire for transparency with him because every time we have tried to be transparent with others on this earth, we have found ourselves hurt. If we 'judge' God's response to the things we need share with him by what we experienced in our earthly relationships, we will likely never open up fully. It may cause us a bit of angst at first - being this honest with him - but if we are consistent in maintaining openness with him, his grace will guide us into some pretty awesome depth of relationship 'in' and 'with' him. Just sayin!

Be known

Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. (Psalm 119:23-24)

It was a pretty bold thing for David to 'challenge' God this way, wasn't it? If you are anything like me, you'd rather not have God looking all that closely at times! You'd rather not give him the 'clear picture' into your soul because you know exactly what he will find. Yes, we are men and women with a heart after God, but to be entirely truthful here, we don't always have all that great of a track record of remaining 'sin-free'. David was not deterred from asking for God's 'examination' because he knew with each 'exam' came a greater influx of God's grace into his life - mercy given when and where it was the least deserved. David wasn't asking God to just 'seek out his sins' - he wanted God to know exactly what was in his heart - wishes and dreams; fears and doubts; passions and desires.

He was asking God to find out everything about him - then reveal what he found. Why is this so powerful of a prayer for us to pray? We don't truly 'know' ourselves as well as we think we do. We need God's revelation of who and what we are at the very core of our being - all those places we have tucked away little things here and there until they become a muddled mess we don't even recognize anymore. It is quite apparent David didn't want any sin in his life to be standing between him and God. He wanted total transparency, but even when we want to be entirely truthful and forthcoming with our lives, we may not really know the truth about ourselves apart from God's examination of our lives. When we ask for God's examination, we aren't entirely sure what he will find, are we? We hope for the best, but how many times have we been surprised by what he uncovers?

When God uncovers something, it is never for our 'undoing' - it is so he can be revealed in us just a little bit clearer. There are really three parts to this prayer: 1) We seek to be known as we really are; 2) We hope for God's mercy where it is most needed; and 3) We ask because we want to be directed down a course that continually leads to right choices. Indeed, this is a bold prayer for any of us, but it is oh so important we pray it. The hardest part may be asking to be 'known'. The second hardest part is asking to be led. The easiest is seeking mercy where it is not deserved. We don't always like the discomfort of transparency - of others (even God) seeing us as we truly are. Without it, we live very shallow lives - never really knowing ourselves, nor fully appreciating the tremendous love and grace of God. Just sayin!

Brick or glass - you decide

There are times in this life when it just will seem there is absolutely NO way of escape - times when it just seems like no matter how hard you try, the thing you are running from will catch up with you and you will be overtaken.  We all face those moments, no matter how sophisticated, "deep", or "spiritual" we might appear.  If we were more honest with each other, we might not feel so bad about the times when we just don't "do as we should", even when we "knew better". We do a disservice to each other to never show our failure to others - for it is by failure we have an opportunity to learn from not only the thing we failed at, but from what others have experienced in the same circumstances.

Any temptation you face will be nothing new. But God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can handle. But He always provides a way of escape so that you will be able to endure and keep moving forward. (I Corinthians 10:13 VOICE)

I like what Paul writes to the Corinthian church about temptation and learning from the examples we have which are recorded for us throughout scripture.  He reminds them (and US) of the times the "forefathers" of their faith had failed miserably - from times when they complained bitterly about their circumstances, to the times they outright disobeyed what God asked them to do.  All of these examples were recorded, not for our entertainment or for us to compare our actions to those of another, but because we are to learn from them!

Here is the hard truth:  ANY temptation YOU face will be NOTHING new.  There is absolutely nothing each of us face which we can say is totally unique to us - someone else (probably thousands of others) have experienced the same thing - just in a different place, time, or surrounded by different circumstances.  The temptation is NOT unique, though.  This should give us some encouragement, my friends.  Why?  This means there is nothing any of us faces which cannot be shared - there is nothing unique in our temptations!  Someone else has gone through it, is going through it, or will go through it!  What is unique is how well we share these things and get the help of others to walk through them without compromise!

The place of temptation comes with two options - give in or run from it like our very life depended upon it!  We can either embrace it or flee from it - there is absolutely no middle ground when it comes to temptation.  When we realize this, we might just recognize a way of escape a whole lot sooner!  If we actually develop this thing I will refer to as "transparency" - looking through glass instead of brick walls - we might just find the support in others we need to get out of the "middle ground" and into our running shoes!  Too many times, we erect brick walls to keep others from seeing the ways we have compromised in our lives - because those compromises don't actually do much to show we are committed to this walk with Christ.  

If we begin to view compromise as a means to overcoming, we might just begin to face our temptations in a completely different manner.  At first, that might not make sense, but bear with me.  When we actually begin to share our compromises with another, we can begin to "unwind" what led up to that compromise.  If we hide behind brick walls, not allowing anyone to know how miserably we can and do fail, we are just isolating ourselves from what may be the very thing we need to actually be free of that temptation once and for all.  Yes, glass houses are kind of revealing - and yes, they don't make it possible to hide much.  Maybe this is why they are such a good illustration of how God wants us to live with other believers.  

Truth be told, you may have already dealt with what I am presently struggling with, and the same may be true of your present struggles.  My struggles are not unique - I get angry, depressed, down on myself, too drawn into some things, and not into the things I should be into at other times.  I face loneliness, struggle with unwholesome thoughts on occasion, and even find myself complaining when I have nothing to truly complain about.  I get into messes because of what I say and I back-peddle to get myself out of other messes.  See, we are not so unique!  We share some of the same "issues" and we need not erect those walls to hide behind - for when we begin to reveal the "real us", we might just find the "real freedom" we are looking for so desperately.  Just sayin!

There is not where

If you have ever studied the life of Moses, you will find he was a man who was not afraid to speak his mind with God.  He was "real" with God - sharing both his frustrations and his exultation.  He never minced his words - he shot straight from the hip. I think God probably honored this kind of openness and transparency and blessed his leadership of Israel as a result.  There are times when we get so frustrated with the length of time it takes to get ourselves from step "A" to step "B" in this process we call "restoration" or "transformation", right?  I wonder what God would do if we were so totally humble and honest with him like Moses was?  Maybe we would come to see the delay is really a part of the process - it is a time when we purify our emotions, see our thought patterns change, and get rid of a whole lot of dead wood in our lives.  I kind of like the words below, because they express the frustration of Moses' heart.  The people have done nothing but complain about the delay in realizing their goal; the wilderness journey hasn't been a piece of cake; and the passage of time seems to make the waiting unbearable.  Sound like any set of circumstances you might be facing in your own life?

Moses said to God, “Look, you tell me, ‘Lead this people,’ but you don’t let me know whom you’re going to send with me. You tell me, ‘I know you well and you are special to me.’ If I am so special to you, let me in on your plans. That way, I will continue being special to you. Don’t forget, this is your people, your responsibility.”  God said, “My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.”  Moses said, “If your presence doesn’t take the lead here, call this trip off right now. How else will it be known that you’re with me in this, with me and your people? Are you traveling with us or not? How else will we know that we’re special, I and your people, among all other people on this planet Earth?”  God said to Moses: “All right. Just as you say; this also I will do, for I know you well and you are special to me. I know you by name.”   (Exodus 33:14-17 MSG)

There are times when delays are really opportunities for us to make the transitions in life that God hopes we will make.  The amount of time it takes to make these transitions often depends directly on our response to the things God asks of us.  Moses was straight with God - it was a struggle to lead these people.  He felt like he was going it alone at times.  I think we aren't so different.  God calls us to go somewhere we have never been before in our spiritual lives and we complain we have never been there before.  Along the way to "there" we complain about the "where".  Where we have been, where we are now, and where we will ever end up - all concern us somehow. If God only took us down the "familiar" and "comfortable" path, do you think we'd ever leave Egypt behind?  Egypt represents the old way of living - in slavery, bondage, and despair.  The promised land represented the new way of living - freedom, delight, and hope.  Between "there" and "where", the journey is riddled with a whole lot of "why here" kind of moments!

One thing I have come to appreciate in the place between "there" and "where" is the importance of the moment.  Nothing in the moment seems like it is "perfect", but it is "purposeful".  We unfortunately want the perfect - so we complain about the process.  Some of us get stuck right in the middle for a long, long time - why?  It is simply because we are waiting for the "conditions" to change where we find ourselves right now.  We don't want to step out to see them change, we just want them to change in the midst of the journey right here and now.  Rarely do the conditions change in the midst of the journey - it is the journey which brings the change!  To get the most out of "transition" one has to actually step into the transition!

For most of us, the time factor is the biggest issue - we don't want it to take a whole lot of time for the transition to happen.  It is okay for God to ask for us to make a transition, but does it have to take forever?  Well, we can run ahead of God, but that doesn't usually work out to well for us, does it?  We think we can "arrive" on our own, doing things our way because the timing is too slow for us.  In the end, we end up with a whole lot of do-overs and a lot of time wasted!  So, rushing transition is not the recommendation here.  Yet, remaining in the place of transition for way too long just because we are not willing to move is also just as dangerous.  Both require our immediate attention and refocus.  God put the Israelites (and Moses) in the midst of the wilderness - to rush ahead or lag behind was just not right.  Moses expressed his frustration a time or two with God - both for the delay and the seemingly unwillingness of the people to "get it right" so they could move on!

Ever find yourself smack dab in the middle of being in the "moment", but having a pretty "crappy" attitude?  Well, I have!  To be truthful, I have been a complainer a time or two - complaining to God because the wait is too long, the journey disturbing my "comfort" just a little too much.  In those moments, I have wondered if God might just have abandoned me in the midst of my wilderness.  It is a hard thing to learn the purpose of the process.  A whole lot of things take place in the place between "there" and "where".  One of the most prominent is the change of heart.  I think this is what God is after in the process - the main objective he has for the wilderness is our heart!  Change only happens when the heart is affected.  Try changing if your heart isn't in it. You just don't have the same motivation, do you?  So, in the midst of the wilderness, the focus is our heart.  One of the best ways to know if the heart is changing is by evaluating how "real" we are with God in the midst of the trial.  As we drop the facades, he is able to communicate his plan.  

It may seem a little over-simplified to say the delay could be our willingness to be changed - to get real with God - but I don't think I am far off.  It has proven to be the case in my life time and time again.  If we learn to complain less about the process and open up to God in the reality of the moment, we might just find our journey made a little shorter.  Just sayin!

More than a game

As a kid, we'd play games like hide and seek.  The goal was to find such a good hiding place that absolutely no one could find you.  There was no prize or medal at the end, but there was some "unwritten" acknowledgement of your "awesomeness" as a great "hider".  I had this one friend you didn't hide so much to win the honor of being the best hider, but he wanted to be the best "scarer" in the group!  He'd hide just around the corner, cleverly hid by something, then when you were gawking around trying to find him, he jump out and shout loudly, "Boo!" - we'd all get caught up in celebrating the shrieks of his unknowing "victims".  In time, if anyone played this game with him long enough, they'd get to be know his plan!  But...no amount of knowing what laid ahead made us ready for the moment when he jumped out into our path!  We still were startled and sometimes could not help but "shriek" at the moment of discovering him just around the corner!

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.  (James 1:1-3 MSG)

It would be naive to think life will be like a big game of hide and seek, wouldn't it?  To go through life believing everything will be as easy as finding the next issue just around the corner just waiting to be discovered would be a little foolish.  No issue is easy - and most are not all that easily discovered!  In fact, issues present themselves in different "packages" and at different "seasons" in our lives.  Some just remain hidden, quietly waiting to be discovered - others are just laying in wait, hoping to jump out at you with all the gusto they can muster.  They hope to catch you off-guard and to see you panic in their discovery - much like my friend relished the moment of terror he invoked with his loud and boisterous "Boo!"

James tells us to consider it a "gift" when we encounter issues.  Hmmm....a "gift", really?  Yep, because we often receive what we need the most when we least expect it!  A gift is by definition is the giving of something which renders assistance to the receiver.  James reminds us these "gifts" of tests and challenges are what place us "under pressure".  My friend had a way of placing us "under pressure" each time we played the game with him.  We KNEW he was waiting in the lurch for us, but we almost ALWAYS responded the way HE expected, no matter how prepared we THOUGHT we were for him!  Did you catch that?  We THOUGHT we'd be able to "stand strong" and not scream our full heads off!  We KNEW he was there - somewhere - just laying in wait.  Yet, our "knowing" did not do enough to "prepare" us for the discovery of his frightful discovery!

You know, life has some pretty "frightful discoveries", doesn't it?  We THINK we are ready for them, but alas, we jump back, scream our full heads off, and sometimes run in fear from them!  Life is full of things which put us "under pressure" - things which would be manageable if they were "out in the open" right up front!  But...they are hidden and it is in their discovery that they cause us the greatest concern and fright!  It could be a growth in your body, cleverly concealed until one day the doctor says, "We've got a problem."  Or it could be the cleverly masked relationship issues which give each of us so much cause for concern through life.  It doesn't matter what the issue, there are definitely times when the discovery of the issue is more traumatic than the issue itself!

My friend liked to reveal our "true colors".  We'd boast about how we were not "afraid" of him, but deep down, we were concerned we'd be caught off-guard and be screaming our full heads off in front of the friends we proclaimed our "strength" in front of!  Silly us!  We "declare" so much in our testimony, but we don't "display" as much as we "declare", do we?  If my friend were to play this game with me today, knowing full-well his desire to catch me off-guard, I imagine I'd be just as goofy as I was then and shriek in terror at his jumping out in my path!  My "true colors" would be exposed - even after all these years!  Remember this - age does not ensure wisdom, it just ages the body and mind!

True colors are most telling, are they not?  It is God's greatest joy to see our "true colors" revealed.  Until we expose ourselves for the "phonies" we are in our own strength, we never realize the need for a strength which is not our own!  Pressures "force out" the truth, don't they?  It is like squeezing a tube of toothpaste.  At first, it may come out all neat and in a straight little row, but as the tube begins to empty, the "stuff" left in there doesn't come out in the neat little row anymore.  It comes out in blobs - not holding "form" any longer.  Life has a way of "squeezing" us, too.  At first, we hold up to the squeezing, presenting our life in a neat little row, all perfect and put together.  Then, at some point, the squeezing becomes more intense.  The neat little life kind of turns to blobs of mess, doesn't it?  Our true colors are exposed.  In those moments, God is most pleased - for it is in the emptying of ourselves of our "put together" life that he is able to get us emptied of the stuff which is not so well put together!

In the discovery of what our "true colors" are, we are open to the "glory" just around the corner, not the terror!  Just sayin!

An acquired taste

Have you ever acquired a taste for something - perhaps something you could not stand as a kid, but now seem to enjoy quite a bit?  I still have not acquired a taste for brussel sprouts, but I like just about every other vegetable.  There is just something about their pungency which I cannot say I enjoy.  Acquired taste usually refers to food or beverage, but it can refer to anything.  Do you know what it means to "acquire a taste"?  It means we have such frequent exposure to something so as to "acquire" its taste.  Sometimes we actually learn to appreciate these "tastes" simply by repeated exposure!

The good acquire a taste for helpful conversation; bullies push and shove their way through life.  (Proverbs 13:2 MSG)

If we can "acquire a taste" for some vegetable we might find offensive, or the ability to drink hot coffee once in a while instead of a steady intake of hot tea, isn't it possible we could "acquire a taste" for conversation which edifies and builds up?  In fact, given enough exposure to this type of conversation, we might just find ourselves "converting" - just as a tea drinker becomes a coffee drinker!  "Taste" is often a matter of exposure.  If we have a "light" exposure to something (once or twice), we might not develop any real connection with the object.  If we have "frequent" exposure, we sometimes become so familiar with the taste we can even begin to sense it with our other senses!

Some of us determine to "try" something once or twice, decide we don't like the "taste" of it, and move on.  If this is the way we find ourselves experimenting with solid, wholesome, and deeply enriching conversations, we might never learn to engage in the types of conversations where we become vulnerable with another person.  In fact, we will likely only want the "casual" taste of the conversations which only "scratch the surface", but never really expose the heart.

The reason most of us struggle with vulnerability in conversation is the fear of being hurt.  We fear anyone being "critical" of our choices, dreams, or insecurities.  So, we hold people at arm's length, avoiding the frequent "tastes" of truth.  The rub comes in never acquiring a taste for the helpfulness of true intimacy.  Not the sexual kind of intimacy, but the kind which comes when two people really "get" each other and begin to share some of the "real" stuff they hold deep within.

What is helpful conversation?  If we are supposed to acquire a taste for it, wouldn't it be best to understand what it is?  I think one of the cardinal earmarks of this type of conversation is it being built on trust.  There is a foundation to it.  It is not just casual sharing of this fact or that, but a real intention to listening to the other, holding confidences when things are shared which might have only been shared with you, and then building upon these experiences through frequent exposure (frequent tastes) to deeper and deeper conversations.

When we begin to share our heart, we are quite guarded at first, right?  Just like the tea drinker who takes the first sip of coffee - we might not like it!  It just isn't "natural" to us.  I guarantee you, the first sip of tea was no better, but because it was what you had frequent exposure to, you developed a taste for it!  Heart-revealing conversation can be "bitter" when we first try it.  We just don't get any "warm and fuzzy" kind of feeling with it.  I guarantee you - do it often enough and you will become addicted to it!

Some thoughts on helpful conversation:

- It is truthful.  If we are going to actually be of any assistance to each other in our sharing in conversation, it begins with sharing what is true.  Truth is the basis of trust - not being truthful will never allow the foundation of trust to be laid in a relationship.

- It is not critical.  If we are always trying to find fault, or pass judgment with a harsh severity, we will likely not find too many people who will want to open up in truthful conversation with us.  In fact, we will find it hard to have anyone WE can open up to in truthful conversation because they will fear being truthful with us will only result in more critical exchange!

- It is acquired through exposure.  We do not just wake up one day determining to have a helpful conversation!  In fact, it is the exposure to another individual for a period of time which brings us to the place of being willing to "open up".  We cannot be wall-flowers forever, and then one day we just expect someone to be there when we need to engage in "helpful conversation" in our lives!  We need to spend time together with others - getting frequent exposure to sharing the little things - and then when the bigger things come, it is made easier by the time we have invested along the way.

I don't know about you, but these types of conversations are the hardest to have, but the most rewarding to have had!  Just sayin!

Content to be myself

There are a whole bunch of ways we can find which make us "stand out" in a crowd, huh?  We could dress in some stunning manner, or in tattered jeans laden with chains - each attracts attention - just for different reasons!  We could sing with lovely melody, never missing a note - or croon out a song which only "resembles" what the writer had in mind!  One gets our applause, the other causes us to cringe and at best, offer a "false" accolade.  Jesus was talking to his disciples one day, using the Pharisees and religious leaders of the time as an example of trying to "stand out" - just for the wrong reasons!

Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty. (Matthew 23:11-12 The Message)

He spent a great deal of time in the first ten verses of this chapter outlining just how much "attention" some seek by their actions and words.  In turn, they "pile" their opinions and multitude of silly requirements upon US!  To put it in today's vernacular - they are like the ones who dress in black tattered jeans laden with chains, have sleeves of tattoos and more metal in their bodies than someone with a joint replacement!  They strut their stuff, then expect others to live up to THEIR idea of "normal" or "right".  Don't get me wrong - I could have chosen the one dressed to the nines in a fancy suit, silk tie and imported Italian shoes - either way, to impose the outward without really looking at the inward is way wrong!

The idea of what we ARE inwardly is much more important to Jesus than what we wear, the church we belong to, or the gaggle of people we say we "belong" with.  He was quite plain - if you want to STAND OUT you have to STEP DOWN.  This is a tough one for us to grasp because of all the influence media has in our lives these days.  We see one story after another of this celebrity, or that politician - all "STAND OUT" for some reason - and the media has a hay-day with whatever that reason may be!  The individual gains notoriety simply because of their actions - not always because of their heart!

Jesus is focusing his attention on our heart - the place of our struggle with pride.  We all want some degree of recognition (and even notoriety), yet when we get it, the response of our heart determines what comes next.  Either we get a little too big for our britches or we honker down and keep up the good work!  I am not often found quoting others, but I could not help but note some of the pretty awesome lessons Mother Teresa had learned in her time in the Calcutta mission fields.  She wrote:  "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."  In her actions, she lived out this principle each and every day!  She loved the unlovely - the homeless, the hungry, and the hurting.  Jesus simply was reminding us of the importance of our words and actions matching!

I would like to leave us with a seed thought or two from Mother Teresa today - may we let her words spark a little introspection and an aligning of our hearts with the heart of Jesus:

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” 

In the words of Jesus:  "But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty."  Maybe this is what Mother Teresa was saying AND living!  Just sayin....

All together? NOT!

There used to be a time when people had to perceive me as having life all together.  It was far from the truth, but the mask I cleverly wore was one of being "all together" in a tremendously broken life.  Emotions were haywire, desires often overruling any sense of conscience, and mouth engaged when it ought to be otherwise!  Sound like anyone you might know?  If I am to be honest about how Christ has changed my life, I have to be honest about what needed changing!

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.  (Philippians 3:12-14 The Message)

Just like Paul, I can now freely admit - I don't have it all together.  I don't have to hide behind a mask anymore.  I found out the "value" of the mask was only "skin-deep" anyway!  What was deep inside really had a way of working its way past the mask - I just did not realize it at the time!

Probably one of my biggest struggles in life was coming to a place of accepting just who I was - exactly the way God made me.  This may seem trivial to some, but it you struggle with "liking" yourself or feeling like anyone else in this world could possibly find anything of value in you, then you understand what I am saying.  God's image of me mattered more than my image of myself, but I had a hard time ever grasping this truth.  I kept taking my "clues" about what made me acceptable from the people around me.  As long as I did this, I never measured up!

I did not dress like the crowd - so I struggled with my image of myself.  Today, I still don't dress like the crowd - but I am comfortable in how I dress. You may find my closet filled with more polo shirts and jeans than others, but what you find there is the "real" me.  I am a down-to-earth kinda gal.  I like casual - not that I cannot dress to the nines, but high heels and short skirts are just not me.  I had to get comfortable being me before I could ever stop comparing myself to the crowd.  You know, the way we dress matters, but not in making us righteous or more acceptable to God.  When I finally realized this fact, I was able to break the mold of the world and be who I am totally comfortable being - ME.

I did not do some of the stuff the crowd did - so I struggled feeling accepted and like I was "part of the crowd".  From the time we are little human beings until we go to our grave, we will struggle with trying to "fit in" with some group of people!  As children, we wanted to be liked by the most popular girls or boys in our schools.  If they seemed to take a shine to us, we were delighted with our new-found status.  If we were shunned or ridiculed, we just acted silly to attempt to make them think their opinion of us did not matter.  All the while, we struggled inwardly with the sense of rejection which did nothing more than fuel our sense of insecurity and value.  It wasn't until I began to reap the consequences of "fitting in" that I realized the real lack of support this "in crowd" gave me!  When I began to get "labeled" as "one of them" - the label hurt.  What I thought would be the height of my life actually stung!

So, here's the hard reality of it all - no one can bring me value.  My value (worth) is correctly identified in my connection with Jesus - plain and simple.  Nothing, and no one else, can possibly make it possible for me to no longer hide behind a mask.  Today - what you see is what I am - at home, or in public.  I like to go barefoot.  A good book or a challenging word puzzle can keep me entertained for a while, but I have a hard time sitting still, so I tend to do more than one thing at a time!  I do my puzzle while cooking a meal.  It is who I am and I make no excuses for it!  

Most importantly, I am an emotionally broken girl redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.  My inward desire to measure up to someone else's standards left me crushed, rejected, and feeling like a total failure more than I can count.  I sought attention in all the wrong ways - thinking no one could ever love me as I was.  In reality, the more I "tried" to fit some mold others demanded of me, the more miserable I became on the inside.  The good news here is in the thing I could not do for myself - the removal of the masks behind which I hid. 

It took the love of Jesus to begin to peel the layers of masks away.  He had to help me be honest about how my past had left scars beyond my ability to heal.  It was his "estimation" of my worth which mattered the most - it just took me a long time to see this!   Once I began to lay hold of the truth about how much Jesus loved me (the real me), I began to sense how much I mattered.  I have a purpose, as do you!  We are at our best when we are fulfilling the purpose for which HE created us!  We can look for all kinds of other things to give us purpose in life - but they will only leave us carrying a lot of tightly-packed baggage and a whole lot of layers of masked failure!

Paul's statement rings true - we have only begun!  The starting point is the hardest - the first time we give someone a peak behind the mask is the hardest!  We have to be wise in just who we allow our masks to be "off" with.  At first, we may find it hard to trust anyone, but hear this clearly - God is never more real with us than when we are real with him!  We can trust him to see behind the mask.  In time, the mask will no longer be what defines us - his grace evident in us will be the defining glory of our lives.  In the determination to "fit", we find our best fit is always when we are free to be just who he created us to be - free of any masks!  Just sayin....

What's in your backyard?

I have seen lovely homes with a nicely landscaped front yard, beautifully framing the home with color and style.  Then, to my dismay, observed the backyard to be a mess of dirt, weeds, and nothing too impressive at all.  Why is it we "put our best foot forward" with what people see first, but neglect to ever do anything with the thing we see the most?  The front yard is for the public - the backyard is for our use, is it not?  

The perceptive find wisdom in their own front yard; fools look for it everywhere but right here.  (Proverbs 17:24 The Message)

I know our passage only speaks to the "front yard" of the perceptive (the wise), but I think there is much to be said about what is the "back yard" of a person's life!  What we allow, or choose to ignore, in our "back yard" is often more important than what we have created for the public view in our "front yard".  For some of us, the things we allow into our lives create a mass of clutter which litters our backyard.  For others, what we ignore in our backyard takes on a life of its own!

Yet, we spend the most time IN or observing our own backyard, don't we?  I don't spend a whole lot of time in the front yard - although I keep it groomed, fertilized, and watered.  I like seeing the green grass, blooming bushes, and huge boughs of the pine trees as I drive into my garage.  But...once the garage door is down, I see the backyard much more than I do the front!  I see the things which blow into it with the storms, observe the wild animals and birds which seem to frequent its space, and even notice the things which seem to need my attention, but just don't get it!

Why is it I notice the dead plant in the corner bed, but do nothing about it for weeks on end?  No one else sees it!  It is easy to neglect what we think no one else will ever know about!  The sad truth is we seldom know when our "back yard" may just be observed - in its full state of disrepair!  So, knowing this "inevitability" of "discovery", maybe we'd do well to consider just what is in our backyard and how it got to be there!  

As I have already indicated, some things are there because we just allowed them to be.  For example, maybe we have developed a little bit of a tendency to engage in "coarse" conversation - you know, the type which is just a little bit "shady", but not really filled with all manner of cussing and the like.  Nonetheless, it "colors" who we are.  We allow this long enough and it becomes a way of life for us.  We don't think twice about engaging in the conversation which is a little jaded.  The problem - it doesn't build us up, nor does it build up another - so it is really not productive.  God asks us to measure our words - so they are productive and capable of building up, not tearing us or another down.

Other things are in our backyards because we have ignored them for so long, we just figure they belong there!  This might be the bad habit we have formed which really is adding nothing of value to our life, and may even be displaying something similar to the dead bush in the corner of my yard!  Instead of plucking it up and planting something which is alive and capable of growth, we ignore the barrenness.  The barrenness becomes something we tolerate until it no longer bothers us.  One day, Jesus told a story about the branches which bore no fruit - they were good for nothing, but firewood!  Some of the stuff we ignore in our lives is really just "kindling" capable of igniting a real fire of sin in our lives!  Better to rid ourselves of the kindling than allow it to be the fuel which destroys our lives.

If you want to do a little experiment, download the application for your computer called "Google Earth".  It is a nifty thing!  You can put in any address, then in a moment of time, zoom into ground level views of that location.  I did it with my own home address and saw for myself - the front yard looked great!  But...the backyard was visible, as well.  What I thought no one else could see because it is surrounded by a six foot high block wall is not so hidden after all!  In fact, I saw the broken down car in my neighbor's backyard, the barren dirt backyard of the neighbor six houses away, and the condition of everyone's pools!  What we may think is hidden is indeed not!  

Just sayin....

I need pictures!

We humans have a variety of "learning" styles.  Some of us need visual input in order to grasp something, while others can simply read the instructions and get it perfectly.  Maybe this is why some of those "some assembly required" items we purchase come with both written and pictorial instruction sheets!  Whenever I get one which is just written, with no pictures at all, I sigh and dig into the "reading".  I "can" learn how to put the thing together from the "reading", but the "picture" would have made it a whole lot faster!  


Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity.  (I Timothy 4:12 The Message)


Paul is instructing Timothy, a relatively young believer, how to "teach" with his life.  In essence, he is telling him to make accommodations for the various "learning" styles of individuals!  Some will learn about Christ in what you say, others in how you live.  One is the word alone - the other is the illustration (the pictures to follow!).


Teach with your life.  Did you ever stop to consider the "lesson" being taught by your life?  In my own experience, I am often amazed at just how many people are watching my steps.  As a mother, I expected my children would watch the steps, but did I expect younger mothers to be watching?  Not really.  Yet, this is a principle taught in scripture - the more "experienced" helping the "inexperienced" to gain the knowledge they need.  Paul outlines several components of "teaching" which we need to be familiar with:


1.  We teach with our words.  Uh oh!  Now I have gone to meddling, right?  What we speak carries meaning - even carelessly spoken words.  Whenever we respond "flippantly" or without much thought, we are never fully appreciating the "lesson" being learned by another.  I was taught "children are to be seen and not heard" - how about you?  What a tragedy!  Some of the most awesome lessons I learned came when my own kids spoke truth which opened my eyes to my own short-comings.  When they were open enough with me to share how disappointed they were with my critical or impatient response to them, I learned to alter my response!  Words indeed speak volumes - the message we convey must be trustworthy and aligned with the Word of God.


2.  Instruct with your demeanor.  In simplest terms, demeanor is your conduct.  How you "behave" is similar to the illustrations in the instruction booklet you utilize in assembling something.  What Paul is referring to here is the actual "doing" of the Word - living out your faith.  Much more is spoken in an action than in a word.  Our pastor says love is a verb - it is an action.  No amount of "I love you" responses speak louder than one selfless action!  Think about it - God could have stayed in heaven, telling us over and over he loved us - but in the spreading of his arms out on the cross, the action spoke intense love!


3.  Learning comes when actions stimulate the heart.  Since love is an action, the emotion is stimulated by the actions of love.  We often think of the mind as being stimulated to learn - I think the greatest learning comes when the heart finally makes a connection with the mind!  Love is "learned" when the heart is touched through the actions of the mind, will, and emotions!  


4.  How does one teach with his/her faith?  Paul instructs Timothy to teach others through his faith - so understanding this seems critical to us learning how to be good "teachers", as well.  Let me say this - the connection made between what is "believed" and what is "practiced" is probably what is referred to here.  It is never enough to say we "believe".  In fact, we go through times when our "belief" is put to the test!  Sometimes more is spoken in our ability to look beyond the immediate display of "circumstantial evidence".  "Circumstantial evidence" is what we see on the surface of the challenge - "faith" is what we believe in and who we believe will bring us clarity in the midst of the challenge.


5.  Lest Paul overlook the "consistency" thing - he adds to let a life of integrity be a tool to instruct others.  Nothing does more to discredit an individual than to live a life of inconsistency.  What we say should match what we do, what we believe should guide us in how to behave, and how we are loved should influence how others experience love through us.  More is learned in the transparency of consistent living than in all the words we can speak or pen.


Just some lessons on the importance of "teaching" with our lives.  Never can tell when you will be the focus of someone's "learning opportunity" this week! So, live well!

Peacocks Beware

¹⁸ First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.

(Proverbs 16:18)

¹² Pride first, then the crash, but humility is precursor to honor.

(Proverbs 18:12)

16 Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice.

(Psalm 51:16)

Ever notice just how many times the Bible speaks about pride?  I put only three passages here, but you get the gist.  God takes our attitude about our self and others quite seriously.  He knows the danger of being too big for our own good!

Pride is pretty much having an opinion of your importance, merit, or superiority that is not always in proportion to our true importance, merit, or superiority!  We think more of ourselves than we do others.  The fact is, we all struggle with pride in one way or another.  It may not be as evident in some circumstances, but it is pretty blatant in others.

When pride is at the center of our decisions, we want things done a certain way because of what we feel is "due".  When someone does not "do" what we expected we were "due", we get our undies in a wad!  So, now to our issue of "pride" we have added the issues of anger, bitterness, selfishness, and the list goes on.  No wonder God wants us to pay attention to our attitude - taking frequent inventory of what we are thinking, feeling, and expecting!

The pastor said something this weekend that stuck with me - people who struggle with pride cannot really love another person.  I had not really thought about pride that way before.  He contrasted love with pride.  He is right!  These two are at opposite ends of the spectrum.  One looks out for self - the other looks out for the needs of the other person.

When I think of pride, I envision the peacock - tail feathers spread in full display.  Why?  Pride likes to "put out" what it thinks should be displayed as signs that you have something no one else does, or should be treated differently because of who you are.  The peacock spreads his back or tail feathers because he wants to put himself out there - hoping to attract the mate of his choosing.  The spreading of feathers comes complete with a strutting dance that is meant to attract the ladies!

Amazingly, the peacock actually molts his feathers every season.  Now, imagine the look of that same male peafowl without any glamorous display of feathers!  Not so appealing, right?  Yet, he only does it AFTER he has used them for his own gain!  That is kind of like what it is to use any attitude of pride in our lives - we put it on display, hoping to get things for our own gain.  So, why are we surprised when we begin to "molt" and have nothing to display in the end???

All the while, the female peafowl remains consistent - she displays what she is in a genuine manner - no show, no strut, no special attention getters.  I am not implying that women have it all together when it comes to pride!  Women have just as much issue with pride as men do.  I am using the two birds as illustrations of genuine character vs. prideful character.  One attracts attention immediately - the other might take a while to realize the beauty of being genuine!

We used to hear a saying a whole lot more in the past - "He/She's the genuine article."  We don't hear that so much anymore.  I wonder if it is because we have lost sight of the fact that authenticity is not a thing that "repels" people, but a thing that actually draws them in.  Think of the female peafowl for a moment.  She is who she is - no fluff, no special features.  The peacock has no problem being attracted to her "genuineness" - it is the genuine article that he is putting himself out there to get!   

So, why not let genuineness be our hallmark today?  Stop "strutting your stuff" and see how attractive God finds the "real thing"!  With our genuineness, he can do so much.  After all, it was our genuine need for a Savior that brought him to us in the first place!

Imitation Exposed

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."

(Matthew 6:30)

For years, I admired my neighbor's flowerbeds.  Each season brought a new batch of cheerful colors - the beds just filled to the brim with mums, pansies, one-eyed-susans, and the like.  I'd drive by, admiring the beauty they lent to the front yard, all the while secretly desiring that my garden looked that beautiful.

Each season, I would head off to the local home store, peruse the many flats of perennials and come home with my trunk laden down with fresh soil, flowers galore, and an occasional blooming bush or two.  My back would ache and my body would cringe with each movement, my bank account taking a "hit" for the day's shopping, but my flowerbeds looked good!  Yet...not quite as good as my neighbor's!

What I did not realize was that my neighbor's beds were filled with "artificial" flowers!  It took me years to realize that!  One day, while taking a plate of cookies to their door near Christmas, I mentioned how beautiful her beds always looked.  Imagine my surprise when she told me that they were "fake".  To top it off, she bought them at the Dollar Store or Walmart specials!  They were not only "imitation" - but they were "cheap imitation"!

We live in a world today that has made imitation of almost everything available for us - often looking so real that we barely notice the difference (until we are up close).  There is imitation sweetener for our coffee.  For those of us that want the "sweetness" without the "cost" of the calories, we choose one of the many varieties of "imitation" sugar.  The thing is that we are choosing it not because it has value, but we don't want the "cost" of the calories to be realized in our lives.

There are imitation fingernails - everything from the stick-on type to the more expensive and elaborate sculptured nails.  They look so nice - equal lengths, neatly polished, and sometimes even with little designs painted on them.  The fact is that the same stubby, badly-bitten nails are still underneath there!  We can try to hide the reality with the imitation, but it is what is underneath the surface that matters.

I am intolerant to milk products, so I have to elect for an imitation coffee creamer, soy milk, and non-dairy ice cream.  Okay, don't get me wrong, they all taste good.  Yet, the fact is that the coffee creamer is really not the same as the real thing!  It lightens my coffee, but it is not as rich as the real thing.  The soy milk works well on my cereal, but I cannot make pudding from it - it just doesn't "set up" well.  It looks and tastes okay, but it doesn't have the full range of function as real milk.  The non-dairy ice cream satisfies a sweet tooth, but it is just not the same consistency as the real thing.  

The same is true anytime we want to present a "fake" image of being okay on the surface, concealing the hurts, failures, and disbelief that we hide so deeply underneath.  We are no better than fake fingernails - we are an illusion.  There is this "full-body armor" thing that is sold in stores for women of larger size - they call it a "body slimmer" or something of that nature.  I call it armor!  If you have ever tried to wiggle your extra pounds and unruly cellulite into one of those, you will know exactly what I am talking about!  The end result is that it "takes inches off your appearance" - but you never lose an ounce!  Take it off and you still look the same!

Periodically, God works on me to remove something in my character that I have been using as "full body armor" - something that gives me the appearance of looking one way, but underneath I am quite another.  All he is doing is asking for me to be "real" about who and what I am.  In fact, every time I remove a skillfully applied "mask", he uses it for his glory.  What I come to realize is that God fusses over my life when the masks are removed!  He cannot do as much as he'd like to until we get down to the "real" us.

Tonight, we will have "imitation crab" on our salads.  Don't get me wrong - there is absolutely nothing wrong with it!  It tastes fine!  Both have the same amount of fat, but the imitation stuff has more carbs and less potassium.  It is actually not the best choice of the two....but, it is more readily available, cheaper by far, and much easier to obtain.  Sometimes we approach the things God wants for us to have much in the same way - we want what is readily available, costs us very little, and is the easiest for us to get!

Isn't it time we look for the reality in life?  

Sermon Lessons: Charisma

 ^15-20"Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don't be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. These diseased trees with their bad apples are going to be chopped down and burned."

(Matthew 7:15-20)

We have all met or heard of individuals with such dynamic charisma that people just flock to them and seemingly "give all they have" to see that person's vision be furthered.  In some cases, the efforts of that individual have been very pure and the rewards have been genuine.  In others, the motivations were very much indeed personal gain and personal grandeur.  Jesus tells us to watch out for the "practiced sincerity" of some, but to look at character rather than charisma.

There are lots of people in this world, in the church and outside the church, who rise to the level of leadership based on nothing more than charisma.  Charisma is the power or quality that gives an individual influence or authority over another individual or group of individuals.  Sometimes we call this charm, magnetism, or "personal presence".  Regardless of what we call it, Jesus warns us that seeing only this "personal presence" or charm is dangerous - we must evaluate the individual and their work by the character of their heart.

The truth Jesus is speaking relates to individuals who have the most significant influence - preachers or teachers.  Yet, this lesson could apply to anyone who we elevate to a position of leadership over our lives - local officials, our boss, or even a friend who seemingly is always the most influential in our group of friends.  The purpose of what he tells us is simple - we have to become good "inspectors" of the fruit of a man's life.  It is the "fruit" that makes up the character of an individual, not the charismatic traits they possess.

When we go to the supermarket, some of us make more conscious decisions about what ends up in our cart than others do.  In fact, by reading labels, comparing prices, looking carefully at the quality of the item we want to purchase, we choose one over the other.  Over the past several years, my mother's eyesight has become so "blurred" by a disease that she no longer can read the labels, see the prices on the shelves, or recognize a piece of fruit has bruises in it.  She needs someone to come alongside to assist in "picking out" the right stuff.  

The truth is that we sometimes need someone to come alongside us in helping us to pick out the right stuff, too!  Especially when it comes to what or who we dedicate our time, attention, and life treasures toward.  We can get "pulled in" by the fancy labels, the promise of good things inside, and the "sale price", but in the end, the quality of what we got did not match the label, the promise, or the price!  I am not just talking about groceries here!  This also applies to who we engage as our friends, pastors, teachers, mentors, and leaders.  We need to be careful to not be "lured in" by the allure of charisma - a charismatic friend may not make the best confidante!  

I looked up that word this morning and found that "confidante" is actually defined as a woman to whom secrets are confided or with whom private matters or problems are discussed.  We can see how easy it is to go to the person who seems to know all the answers - yet they may not be the ones to give us the best answer, or hold the confidence we discuss.  The choice of confidante is best measured by the character of the individual.  Charisma may be there, but if it is not backed with character, we need to cautiously back away!

So, today we have a chance to become better at "reading labels", "examining the fruit", and considering the "price" of the relationships we keep and the placement we give to others in our lives.  It could be the best move we make in keeping us safe from being lured into places and practices we will later regret!

Cross-Examination

 ¹⁷ The first speech in a court case is always convincing—
   until the cross-examination starts! 

(Proverbs 18:17)

I like shows or movies that give you a riveting courtroom trial in which there is little to no hope of the defending attorney ever proving the person on trial really did not do the crime.  In these courtroom depictions, the prosecuting attorney must "make the case" against the "defendant".  The case begins with what they term "opening arguments" - the laying out of the case from each person's perspective in such a way that the jury is given a hint about what will be presented.

The passage today is quite revealing - the opening speeches may all be nicely worded and organized into a nice synopsis of the beliefs of both the prosecutor and the defender, but they don't contain all the "evidence".  That is the purpose of the trial - it "opens up" the intricate pieces of evidence for the jury to examine and use in coming to a conclusion about the outcome of the trial.  Many times, these courtroom scenes depict a pretty certain prosecutor who believes his/her case is rock-solid.  All the witnesses for the prosecution are believed to be exactly what will bring the "conviction" against the defendant.

The next part of our passage presents the real crux of the truth - the "case" against the defendant is really made in the cross-examination of the witnesses.  If the witnesses can have their testimony discredited in some manner, the "case" the attorney might have thought he had can go down the drain pretty quickly.  That is so true about our daily testimony about our profession of faith, as well.  The "making" or "breaking" of that "testimony" is determined in the closeness of "cross-examination".

We stand "on trial" each and every day for evidence that our testimony is "rock solid".  The way we respond when we are wronged to the response we give when we are called on the carpet for less than stellar behavior - all lead to a conclusion about the "solidness" of our testimony.  If our first response is to excuse our behavior (even though it has not been stellar), the testimony we give about Jesus is that our behavior really doesn't matter to him.  If our response when wronged is that we will turn to retaliation (rather than to forgive the offense), we damage the testimony of grace in our own lives.

What does the cross-examination of your life reveal about the "rock-solid" testimony of your life?

Celebration of Grace

¹⁰ He continued, "Go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink; and share it with those who don't have anything: This day is holy to God. Don't feel bad. The joy of God is your strength!"   ¹¹ The Levites calmed the people, "Quiet now. This is a holy day. Don't be upset."  ¹² So the people went off to feast, eating and drinking and including the poor in a great celebration. Now they got it; they understood the reading that had been given to them.

(Nehemiah 8:10-12)

Revival brings a response of heart that cannot but help bring praise to God.  The people of Israel had been listening intently to the Word of God as Ezra, the priest, brought it forward.  They were moved by the Word - brought to a place of awareness about just how far they had drifted from what God had intended for their lives.  That is what a fresh look into the Word can do for us - it can bring us to a place of recognition and repentance.

Ezra is a wise leader - he knows the passion of their hearts, but he also recognizes the struggles they are having.  He sees the older members of the congregation and understands their deep sorrow over the loss of the former ways of worship.  The "old ways" of worship were destroyed when they were taken into exile.  The temple was destroyed, the walls of the city brought down, and even the "instruments" of worship were carried off into foreign lands.  The old was gone - that brought deep sorrow to those that remembered the "former glory" of the old ways.

Yet, he connected with the freshness of worship that God was preparing for his people in this season of their growth.  They were allowed to "return" from exile in a foreign land, now they were returning their hearts to their God.  The people had a renewed awareness that God was with them - that is the beginning of revival in the spirit of man.  When this awareness begins to dawn, there is a corresponding awareness that the worship God desires stems from a heart that is free of compromise.

There was weeping that day in Israel - some out of sorrow because of all that had been lost, some out of joy for what lay ahead.  Perspective often determines our response.  When we hold fast to what is lost, we are rarely able to grasp what lays ahead.  Ezra reminds the elders in the crowd of that very fact - let go of the past and embrace the freshness of the present.  

The Word of God had impacted their hearts - it rang true in their minds, affecting them in the depths of their souls.  The hunger of their souls brought them to the place of exploration of the Word.  As is true with all times of revival, God honors the hunger of souls willing to be "real" with him.  The dryness of our spirits is refreshed in the newness of his grace - whenever we are willing to truly be "naked" before God.

The true, unencumbered celebration of God is the outcome of a seeking and transparent heart.  We often worship out of a sense of obligation - God desires worship that is given out of a sense of awareness and hope.  The beginning of revival is hunger.  The means to revival is repentance.  The response of revival is worship from a pure, unmasked heart.