Withered Wineskins

Have you been waiting for what seems like forever to see the fulfillment of a dream, answer to a prayer, or intervention of some kind in your life? I imagine all of us are in this position from time to time, finding it harder and harder to wait, even wanting to give up on whatever it is we hope for entirely. If you find yourself there today, you aren't alone 'waiting for your rescue'. The one thing we must do is put our hope in God's promises. What he says is true - trustworthy, firmly grounded, and never failing. In the 'wait', it may not seem that way, but God will never compromise his watchfulness or his careful attention toward us!

I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes are straining to see your promises come true. When will you comfort me? I am shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke, but I have not forgotten to obey your decrees. (Psalm 119:81-83)

Waiting makes us feel like withered up wineskins, doesn't it? It invades the spaces within our minds where it has a chance to affect the way we think. It weasels its way into our emotions, giving us every high and low we could imagine possible. It brings havoc to our bodies, causing us to lose sleep, tossing and turning while ruminating over whatever it is that we 'wait' for to happen. In the end, the one thing that is accomplished by all that is a 'withered up wineskin' kind of feeling!

What is the key to waiting? It is obedience. Like it or not, the key to waiting is to do what we know to be right, in the ways God tells us to do them. Period! Most of the time, we start out this 'waiting process' well, then somewhere down the line, we don't do as well with that obedience stuff. We think it isn't 'doing any good', so we waver a bit, allowing compromise to enter in. Truth be told, the waiting is made even more difficult to endure whenever we allow compromise to move us off the 'obedience track'. 

God isn't impressed by our obedience, but we will be less likely to find ourselves in a position where God will have to bring correction into our lives in order for us to handle whatever it is we have been waiting upon. We must remain consistent in our walk, spending quality time with Jesus each and every day, following through on each step of action he requires of us in his Word. Waiting will happen, but we don't have to end up like old, withered wineskins at the end! Just sayin! 

Not ignored

Long enough, God—you’ve ignored me long enough. I’ve looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough I’ve carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me. Take a good look at me, God, my God; I want to look life in the eye, so no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face. I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—I’m celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers. (Psalm 13)

Most of us have some capacity for endurance, whether it be with the distance we walk, the amount of waiting we can tolerate, or the pain we are willing to experience before we resort to a means of relief. "Long enough" is not a measure which is the same for each of us, but rather is a unique measure based on where we are emotionally, physically, spiritually, and even "relationally". Sometimes our "long enough" is shortened because of emotions being on edge - too much coming at us at one time and stress building up within. At other times, the same things could roll off our back without an issue, just because we were more "in balance" with our emotional stressors. There is nothing more disheartening, though, than to come to the place of "long enough" when you are waiting on God to answer some need in your life. In those times of "long enough", we want immediate relief, so any amount of waiting seems like an eternity and carries with it a huge "weight" of pressure.

One of the first places our minds go when we are at this place is that God is somehow ignoring us. Somehow we equate waiting, or even what we think is the slightest delay in relief, as his "ignoring us". The furthest thing is the case, though, for it is totally inconsistent with God's character to "ignore" his children. He cannot "ignore" issues we create, nor those we face because others have created them for us. He can be silent for a period, and this is probably where we get the impression he is "ignoring us". Silence is not ignorance - it is simply God waiting to speak! How do you know if you have reached your "end" point? There is not a cut and dry answer to this question. There are "hints" we might be at that point, though. One such hint is the tendency to "feel" like we are "talking to the hand" when it comes to our times of conversation with God. If you are not familiar with that saying it means we think God has erected some barrier to our being heard - we are talking to his hand - totally missing his ear and definitely not affecting his heart! Again, this is the furthest thing from his character, because God's intensity of love for his creation could never allow him to turn a deaf ear or be unmoved in his heart by their need.

Another hint of reaching our "end" is the tendency to have "frazzled" emotions. When we are at the end of our rope, emotions are kind of like live wires. We just don't know what will set us off the next time, and we cannot seem to move beyond those raw emotions. Emotions are definitely "real" and cannot be denied. We may find ourselves at our "end" point with emotions ranging from rage to depression, fear to apathy, or even sorrow to the depths of unyielding grief. The further we go "into" our emotions, the worse the "long enough" appears to us. There is a sensitivity to our situation which almost gets "blown out of proportion" simply because of the magnitude of our emotions. This doesn't mean the circumstances aren't real, important, or specific to us. It just means we may be unable to move out of them because our emotions are too frazzled to "deal" with them any longer.

Perhaps one of the most "telling" hints we have come to this place is feeling like the circumstances will never change - this is the way it is always going to be. Some might call this losing hope. All expectation is gone - there is no reasonable solution to the issues at hand, so we interpret this as being "hopeless". This may be the easiest place to begin to bring change into the circumstances, though. For every moment of "hopelessness" is a moment whereby we can begin to change our focus. A lack of hope is oftentimes based on our focus - focus on the issue(s) long enough and they become insurmountable (a mountain in our path incapable of being scaled). Focus on the next step in front of us one by one and the mountain becomes nothing more than a path we travel to get to the other side!

Regardless of why we might be at our "end" point today, we have the opportunity to express ourselves to the one who actually cares about our moments. God is not put off by our admittance of this feeling it has been "long enough" for us to be dealing with whatever it is. In fact, he is probably just waiting for us to bring him our "long enough" and let him become our "more than enough". Just sayin!

Dungeon Songs and Laments

Do you ever feel like your prayers are kind a little like "complaints" to God? You see this shingle hanging over heaven's gate and it reads "Complaint Department" - come on in. I am guilty of just spilling my guts to God about stuff that comes out sounding a whole lot like I am complaining (usually because I am!) and a lot less like I actually want to spend time with him! I think we all might just go through periods when our prayers are a little more "needy" than at other times - when we just have to let it all out, so to speak. The most amazing thing to me is the way God responds to my "complaint" sessions (and yours, too). I might think he'd get a little tired of this kind of jabbering on about what is wrong in my life, but he listens, often using my very own words to give me the change in perspective I actually need. Did you catch that? He uses MY OWN words to change MY perspective - allowing me to spill my guts and then turns those spilled out emotions and complaints as a means to speak truth into my life. How on earth does he do that?

I cry out loudly to God, loudly I plead with God for mercy. I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail: “As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, you know how I’m feeling, know the danger I’m in, the traps hidden in my path. Look right, look left—there’s not a soul who cares what happens! I’m up against it, with no exit—bereft, left alone. I cry out, God, call out: ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’ Oh listen, please listen; I’ve never been this low. Rescue me from those who are hunting me down; I’m no match for them. Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public. Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!” (Psalm 142)

I don't think God keeps his distance just because our moments in prayer are a little self-centered, while we focus on our perceived needs and injustices more than on communing with him. I believe he knows how badly we need the cathartic of getting all that pent up junk out into the open so he can actually get at our hearts when it is all cleared out! When we get stuff out in the open - the stuff which really is bugging us and causing us to look at it rather than at God then he is free to finally intervene because he can finally get at our hearts. There are a whole lot of times our emotions keep us busier focusing on the mess we are in than on the potential of God helping us get out of the mess! God often uses our own words to teach us what it is we need to see in the moment of our greatest distress. If we just came to God with the attitude of covering over how we were really feeling (masking our emotions), how well do you think that exchange would go? He already knows how we are feeling, so what use is it to cover up those true feelings? If we honestly just get them out, allow them to be exposed to his touch, we might just find the release we have been looking for all along. David pens these words while he is hold up in a cave hiding out in order to escape the armies of Saul - armies out to take his life because the Saul feels threatened by David. The king feels threatened by David because David is the next in line for the throne, but the "next in line" guy is hiding out in a cold, dark place in order to avoid what threatens HIM. Now, does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?

We are right there on the cusp of some great thing in our lives, and instead of facing up to the muddle we are in, we hide that muddle because we don't know how to deal with it. God is great with muddles - but he has one condition - get it out in the open. As long as we hide our muddle away in the cold, dark places, we are going to continue to see the circumstances we are in as anything but "anointed"! To overcome his fears and to walk out in the open, he has to get out of the cave. For him to get out of the cave, he has to open up to God right where he is at - in the cave! In the cold, dark place he is in! When we struggle with those "cave" moments ourselves, what we need most is not to pull deeper into the cave, but to let it all out! In our muddle, we often feel the most misunderstood and the most alone. In speaking what we feel, we might just come to the conclusion of how much we have been telling ourselves the wrong story about our circumstances. The way we discover deliverance is through getting it all out before God - not because we "need" to grumble against our circumstances, but because we know God will help change our perspective of the circumstances when we do.

Our greatest need - to have our perspective changed in the midst of the circumstances - not so much that the circumstances change.  In the pits of our greatest need, the walls seem to echo our despair, but actually, they are just causing those words to return to us so we can hear them clearer. In the "re-hearing" of those words we speak, we often come full circle to the place where we see how much we have drifted from our total and complete trust in God's plan for our lives. God uses those words to speak the loudest truth into our muddle. We may complain, but God can turn the complaints of our heart into the messages of grace we so desperately need in order to overcome the misery of our mess. Just sayin!

Is God your second-hand friend?

Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust. (I Peter 1:4)

Getting to know someone isn't always that easy, is it? We can hold back a little until we realize the other person is kind of 'all right' and we can probably share a bit more with them. We don't just dump everything out into the relationship and hope for the best. We wait to establish trust and then we unpack a little. Why? We don't want the discovery of some things by just anybody. We want those things to be shared with only those we consider to be our 'inner circle', or the ones we value and trust the most. Imagine that God invites us to get to know him personally and intimately - not holding anything back - because he values and trusts us! He trusts us with the knowledge of how he moves amongst us and what moves his heart. He opens up the secrets of his grace and inner peace to each of us. In turn, he asks us to trust him to always be open with us and invites us to always be open with him. 

To know one 'personally' means we don't settle for a second-hand relationship. I know some of my BFF's friends, but it is more of a second-hand relationship. I am not all that close to them, but I respect them, am invited into their gatherings, and enjoy their company. We have 'contact', but it isn't as 'direct' as the contact I enjoy with my BFF. The relationship I have with them is kind of 'general' - not much sharing of 'personal' stuff occurs. We talk about family, acquaintances, happenings, and plans. We don't generally talk about our hearts, hurts, and hopes. When I share with my BFF, it is just the opposite. It is pretty much with open abandon, knowing she will not laugh at my dreams, judge my 'way out there' ideas, or shut down my hopes. God doesn't want us to 'hold back' our true selves in relationship with him - he values us too much to ask us to 'reserve' our true feelings from him. 

To know one 'intimately' might just mean there is a confidence we can be our real selves in their presence. Where this 'confidence' exists, there is a freedom of movement and expression that is allowed. God isn't trying to put us in a box and hold us captive to certain beliefs. He has opened the box we were captive within and shows us exactly how our beliefs create a sense of freedom to be who he created us to be in the first place. We may run back into the box from time to time, all because the discovery of who we really are is kind of frightening to us. Intimate relationship with God is all about knowing boundaries but being totally free to live within those boundaries. Putting aside our 'reservations', we embrace freedom. Welcoming him into our lives, trusting him with our innermost thoughts, and giving him our absolute trust - this is what God asks of us. Just sayin!

Unlatched

"Don’t suppose for a moment, though, that God’s Word has malfunctioned in some way or other." (Romans9:6) Most of the time we are the ones who "malfunction" - not God, not his Word, not his promises, not his commands. When something is "functioning" as it was designed to function, it follows a particular order - all the pieces fit together as they should, producing the intended outcome. Truthfully, only God can do this 100% of the time! Try as we might, we are going to "malfunction" on occasion. Trusting in our ability is always going to leave us with "less than" whatever it is we could attain, obtain, or maintain with God doing the work!

How can we sum this up? All those people who didn’t seem interested in what God was doing actually embraced what God was doing as he straightened out their lives. And Israel, who seemed so interested in reading and talking about what God was doing, missed it. How could they miss it? Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed in what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their “God projects” that they didn’t notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. And so they stumbled into him and went sprawling. (Romans 9:30-32)

Those who once did not believe, had no intention of following the one true God - they have come full-circle. They embrace what God is doing, while those who should have been embracing what God was doing all along in their lives have somehow taken a different track. It is like they were plugging down the track well, came to a fork in the track, and then "flipped the switch" to go down a track they were not originally on. We do this sometimes, don't we? We start out well, then without even thinking, we take the track which presents itself as an "option" in our lives. When it comes to our obedience, many of us "keep our options open"! One embraced what God was doing and reaped rewards beyond their imagining; the other chose to focus on something quite superficial and missed out. We need to understand that "playing the part" of a Christian is not enough to keep us in right relationship with God. We can read all the scripture we want to - looking quite pious in our pursuit - but if it is never embraced, never allowed to change the way we think and act, it will serve us little good. We can talk about God a great deal, even using the right "Christian words", but if we don't have heart-knowledge of God's grace and love, the words are empty.

There is a clear between living by some set of rules (the reading and talking part) and living by grace (the actual life-transformation part). The revealing words: "...instead of trusting God, they took over." Instead of trusting God with our brokenness, we look for ways to fill the void created by the broken pieces of our lives - things like working way too much, drinking/drugging, multiple relationships without any depth or commitment. There are multiple ways we go down this track of "trusting ourselves" to get us to the right destination - the list is probably too long for me to recount. The thing we need to see is the tendency we have to take over what is not really ours to "manage" - leading us clearly into a state of "malfunctioning" existence. Another word jumped out at me from this passage today: Absorbed. The evidence of going the wrong way - being self-absorbed - absorbed in what it is WE are doing, and totally missing what it is GOD is doing all around us. Another word for this is being "preoccupied". 

In planes, public buildings, and even on some busses there are little signs on the lavatories indicating which restroom is available for use. When the sign clearly displays "occupied" in red letters, it is unavailable. When the sign is slid in the opposite direction, it reads "unoccupied" in green letters. Just as these signs serve a purpose of letting someone know when it is they may enter, so it is with the "signs" we display in our lives. God looks for us to make the "shift" from "occupied" by self to being "unoccupied" and available for his use. When this shift occurs, it is because there has been a change in the direction the sign is facing. So, if we want to see real depth in our relationship with God, determined to stay on course with him, we need to make a shift in what has "pre-occupied" our minds, hearts, and emotions. I don't know about you, but I wish becoming a little less "pre-occupied" by the stuff of life was easier - like moving that sign on the lavatory from the left to the right! If it was this easy, there would be no excuse for any of us to ever miss out on what God is doing right in front of us. It isn't until we actually make the move from "self-occupied" to "open for use" that we reveal to God our intention for him to take access to the space other things have taken in our lives. When the little sign is moved from occupied to unoccupied, it is for the intention of allowing the door to open freely. Maybe it is time we did a little "unlatching" of our lives today. Just sayin!