Rejecting Bitterness

Your words can be as satisfying as fruit, as pleasing as the food that fills your stomach. The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings. (Proverbs 18:20-21)

Fruit can have all the right coloring, smell wonderful, but somehow it is just too tart or bitter on the inside. It is like the development of the fruit arrested and it never came to the place it was fully ripe - like when it is picked too quickly and artificially ripened to put on the shelves at the supermarket. Take a bit of the fruit and you will soon realize the bitterness lasts, even when you spit out the nastiness of the bite you took. It is like "having your teeth set on edge". Some of us don't taste "bitter"? In fact, depending upon the level of dietary iodine we may ingest, we might all sense "bitterness" a little differently. I wonder if this difference with how we "taste" the bitter we ingest in life is similar to how some may be deeply affected by the hurtful and bitter things another does or says, while others seemingly walk away pretty well unaffected by it?

There are individuals who will take in a steady diet for a while, developing a "taste" for whatever it is they are given to ingest. It may not have been pleasant at first, but the more they ingest it, the more immune they become to the unpleasant taste. It is kind of like when you first tried to feed your infant veggies - they didn't like their taste as well as the fruit, so they squirmed away when you tried to coax them to take a little more. The pediatrician might even tell you to start with veggies and leave the fruits till last. You are convincing them to "take in" what is the least pleasant for them, but which will give them the necessary stuff to help them grow up strong. They might not enjoy the experience, but it is not going to kill them!

I wonder how many of us go through life "not enjoying the experience", but going through it anyway simply because someone has convinced us it won't "kill us". The reality is that we are affected by all which comes into our lives - good, bad, sweet, or bitter. We cannot deny the influence of each of these - some will be quite enjoyable and easily appreciated; others will be very difficult and quite difficult to see as valuable. There are times when bitterness is all around us, and all we want to do is spit it out! We rarely crave the bitter taste. In time, the more we taste the bitter, the more our taste buds will become desensitized to the bitter and will actually allow us to take it in without having that same "teeth set on edge" reaction.

What has happened? We have been "desensitized" due to the frequency of the exposure to the bitter thing. That which once caused us so much discomfort becomes something we are almost immune to now. This is not always good, though, because those initial reactions of "rejecting" the bitter are there for a reason. The bitterness of the green fruit is what should keep us from ingesting it and becoming ill from taking it into our bodies. When we develop a tolerance to the bitter, we often go way beyond a place of safety when it comes to what we will allow into our lives! Spiritually and emotionally speaking, the bitterness of life is going to challenge us a bit at first, but when we are continually bombarded by it, we cannot help but develop a "tolerance" to it.

Words might be bitter when first spoken, producing an immediate "ill-effect". In time, when we are constantly bombarded by the sheer volume of bitter and harmful words, or words which ought to produce a bitter taste within us, we might just begin to develop a tolerance to what we continue to allow to be taken in! This is perhaps why God asks us to pay so close attention to the words we speak and those which we allow to penetrate our minds and hearts. These very words can be the starting point of tolerance to the bitterness of life - rather than us rejecting that which produces bitterness within, we actually find ourselves running toward it! We need to weigh our words carefully and those which we will allow to "penetrate" our minds and hearts. When we hear those bitter words of another, we need to be quick to reject those as something which is just not "fitting" for our lives. Just sayin!

The golden rule

I saw this post today and wanted to share it - there is a whole lot of truth in this one: "How people treat you is not who you are; it is who they are." (Curtis M. Lloyd) Scripture reminds us, "So then, whatever you desire that others would do to and for you, even so do also to and for them, for this is (sums up) the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12) Mom and Dad always taught the 'golden rule' at our house - be the kind of person others will want to be around - treat them as you would want to be treated. Did this always ensure that I would never have to deal with a 'son-of-a-gun' personality on occasion? Absolutely not! It took a long time for me to realize that the way the 'other guy' was acting wasn't because of me, but that was a hard lesson for me to actually learn. 

In fact, I used to bend over backwards to be or do what another wanted. I wasn't true to myself at all. I became who they wanted me to be - losing my identity in the process. I believed they saw me a certain way because they treated me a certain way. The truth is that their actions didn't accurately reflect who I was or who I was becoming in Christ Jesus. We can go through life always believing ourselves to be who we are through the eyes of another, but there is not great wisdom in that kind of existence. We might not always 'like' who we are at the moment, but God isn't finished with us. The only eyes that really reflect our true identity and 'character qualities' are God's. We need to stop trying to 'measure up' to another's opinion of us.

Become true to the character and qualities of personality that God has created within you. Romans 12:1-2 reminds us, "...to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." We can go through life trying to 'live up to' the expectations of others - the way they see us - or we can turn our eyes fully upon Christ and trust him to make us into the person he desires us to become.

When we are treated in ways we don't deserve - press in deeper to God's presence and experience his peace. When words cut to the quick of our soul - turn to God's Word and take in the many 'love words' he shares with us there. When another's opinion of you isn't 'top notch' in their eyes - listen instead to how God sees you. There is more truth in his view of you than there is in a thousand words for that one who speaks in ways that hurt you! Just sayin!