Wisdom demands silence

Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom. (Charles Spurgeon)

Wise words bring many benefits, and hard work brings rewards. (Proverbs 12:14)

The right use of knowledge - wouldn't that go a long, long way where it applies to the words we speak about another? Gossip has a way of dragging others down - it also has a way of taking you right along with it! The wise learn the 'advantage' of guarding well the words they share - especially when they are words that may paint another in a bad light or bring another into some knowledge of the other person's character that they really had no right to know. Wisdom is the right use of knowledge - to apply wisdom to both the words we speak and the words we listen to about others is truly a 'learned art'. The 'art' is learned at the feet of Jesus. 

We can be the undoing of another's character quicker than we know just by sharing something that were really best left unsaid. We might say it to their face, or behind their backs, but either of these can be just as damaging to another when spoken without the wisdom of God backing those words. We need God's wisdom to guard our ears from what we have no right to hear, as well as guard our mouth from speaking forth what should not be shared. If another were to share our faults for all to hear about without any restraint at all, how would that make us feel? Some of the wisest moments come when we acknowledge we have 'knowledge', but we refuse to 'spill the beans' about another.

God's plan is simple - when we know about the faults of another, pray for them, don't abuse that knowledge by spreading it around. The more we engage in 'prayerful consideration' of the knowledge we possess, the more likely we are to go about sharing it indiscriminately. The wise learn to temper their speech. God asks us to lift one another up, being a support when things aren't going as they should be in another's life. We aren't going to be much of a support if we are tearing them down by the things we share that should have been left unsaid. Just sayin!

A position of power

I come to you for protection, O Lord my God. Save me from my persecutors—rescue me! If you don’t, they will maul me like a lion, tearing me to pieces with no one to rescue me. (Psalm 7:1-2)

We began to look at the power of a truly 'defensible position' yesterday - the best of all being 'in Christ'. As we examine the need for a defensible position, we might find there are a number of reasons we would cry out to God for a place of refuge. Perhaps one of the reasons we seek a refuge is because of the slander and gossip of others around us. We might not realize the damage of gossip and the destruction to the reputation whenever someone sets out to slander and individual. We could be on either side of that coin - the one being gossiped about, or the one engaging in the gossip. The first needs a defensible position - a place of protection and refuge; the latter needs a 'come to Jesus' meeting!

David was not without his share of both. In fact, he had people who would falsely accuse him of many things, some right from within his own family. It is hard to stand strong in the midst of those types of 'wordy attacks', isn't it? It is even harder when those 'attacking' with their words and insults don't know the whole truth of the matter. Imagine what it might have been like to be a king back in those days. There would be some who would immediately see the benefit of this 'chosen king' to be the ruler of the land, but then there would be others who would never be content to allow him to rule. In other words, they would compete with him for a position of power. 

Most of the damage done by gossips and slanderers is meant to 'depose' the one they are targeting from some 'position of power'. It might be as simple as not being the employee the boss seems to 'like best', or not being the 'favored child' in the family. It could be that the gossip starts out 'innocently', but before long, the intent can turn uglier, especially when the person doing the gossiping is actually targeting the 'position of power' for themselves. God tells us our position is 'in Christ' - indeed a position of power. No wonder Satan chooses to attack us so much! He has always wanted that position and just like a spoiled child, he sets out to do whatever it takes to attempt to 'depose' us from that position.

It stands to reason that he would use words to attack us. Why do I make that supposition? The old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," really isn't true, is it? Words can cut deep. They can scar - leaving deeply felt pain for a long, long time. Maybe that is why God asks us to 'manage' our words well - to allow the Holy Spirit to 'filter' those words, applying his touch of grace to them. Satan uses lies because he knows truth won't topple us. God uses truth because he knows it is the only thing that keeps us free! We might not escape the attacks of gossips and slanderers, but we do always have a refuge that we can run to where we will find truth and grace in abundance. Just sayin!

A back fence moment

Who doesn't love a juicy piece of gossip? The water cooler used to be the place of 'gossip-gatherers' in the work place, the back fence the ones housewives would gather at after hanging the laundry out to dry, and school playground for those a little younger. Has much changed? We may not have 'water coolers', back fences, and spend very little time on the playground anymore, but we have other ways to share those 'juicy tidbits', don't we? I think God may have placed so many warnings in scripture about speaking against another person, gossip, and the like, simply because of the tiny spark of gossip that it takes to ignite a huge fire that can damage a reputation! Truth be told, we all need to deal with the words we speak about others.

“You must not testify falsely against your neighbor." (Exodus 20:16)

"No lies about your neighbor." Seems like a simple 'rule' to live by, but just try living it out when you are caught up in the fray amongst other 'gossip-hungry' individuals. I think this rule is best understood by another simple observation - no neighbor, acquaintance, or 'friend' is THAT interesting so as to always be the object of our conversation without some form of exaggeration, speculation, or downright gossip entering into the conversation! The truth of the matter is no one knows all the facts about another's life. God's warning to us is to use the information we have in a wise manner. We don't always give the right "testimonial" about our neighbor when we only have the "facts" we garner from our limited view of the life they let us see. The words we speak may indeed set a house on fire - maybe theirs, or maybe ours!

Leviticus 19 elaborates on this "rule" a little bit further for us: "Don't spread gossip and rumors. Don't just stand by when your neighbor's life is in danger. I am God. Don't secretly hate your neighbor. If you have something against him, get it out into the open; otherwise you are an accomplice in his guilt. Don't seek revenge or carry a grudge against any of your people. Love your neighbor as yourself. I am God." (16-18) Easier said than done - right? To the idea of not speaking falsely against our neighbor, God adds the concept of gossip and rumors. We have shared about this in the past, but it bears repeating. Gossip is just any form of idle talk. This comes back to my statement about no one being THAT interesting so as to always have something TRUTHFUL to say about them. The idea of not secretly hating our neighbor is also part of this equation. This comes back to the teaching of my mother of all those years ago: "If you cannot say anything nice about a person, don't say anything at all." I know there are others of you who have been told these very same words.

A rumor is the circulation of any portion of a report without actual confirmation of this report. In other words, it is a little observation mixed in with a little speculation. I like to think of this as us assuming the motivation of others and adding our impression of their motives to the mix of the story being told. This is a very dangerous place to be - no one really can judge the motives of another man's heart. Only God has the inside view! To this idea of not gossiping God adds the idea of not holding grudges. Can you see how one adds to the other? When we begin to speculate as to the motives of another, almost "creating" a story in our head, we come to a place of internalizing an impression of the other person that "fits" our image (but not always the reality of what that individual is or has done). Don't get me wrong - there are genuinely some miserable people in our world who create misery for many others. We are just not supposed to hold onto their misery and make it our own! 

Sometimes I think we talk about others so freely because it keeps the spotlight off of us. At other times, it is simply just idle talk - we lacked anything better to talk about at the moment. Either way, we are encouraged to consider our words carefully, speak only what is beneficial to be spoken, then remain silent on the rest. I know - - easier said than done, but oh so worth it! Just sayin!

Beware of the Dog!

If you have ever found yourself getting into the middle of someone else's argument, then you know how messed up things can become for YOU in just a short period of time!  What started out as an innocent concern for someone else's well-being ended up becoming quite a mess for you to mop up in your own life!  How do we get wrapped up in these things?  Well, if we were to be totally honest, most of us haven't really gotten past our tendency to want to "be in the know" about stuff, so we meddle!  Meddlers pay the price - often with a little skin off their own backsides!  Meddling is just a polite word for saying we like to get the scoop, or have something to gossip about.  In fact, this burning desire to either be in the middle of the situation, or to have the hair-brained idea that we know how to solve the issue we don't even own is what propels us forward even when common sense is telling us to stay away! Perhaps it is time to consider just how much extra strife we bring into our lives by thinking we can solve the problems of another when we clearly don't even know what the problem is in the first place.  If we did this "up front", we might just make a few less missteps into places we don't belong.

You grab a mad dog by the ears when you butt into a quarrel that’s none of your business.  (Proverbs 26:17 MSG)

Our writer puts it so aptly - getting involved in stuff which doesn't concern us in the first place is like grabbing a mad dog by the ears.  I have seen some mad dogs in my days and I am pretty sure I didn't want to be on the receiving end of what they were dishing out!  Mad dogs are kind of unpredictable - they may be focused on another dog until you put a hand out to separate them - then in an instant your hand can become the object of his focus!  My son was attacked by a pit bull mix stray when he was about a freshman in high school. A friend had taken this stray into his backyard one day as he didn't want him to be hit by a car.  The animal appeared quite docile and friendly.  He would play fetch with my friend and seemed quite interested in getting a few scratches behind the ears.  Until my son stepped into the yard, that is.  We don't know if it was perhaps the fact he was wearing a baseball cap, or my son's voice, but whatever it was, the dog attacked.  In an instant, the dog turned from nice to nasty and we were grabbing at both my son and the dog to try to separate the two.

In this case, only one was intent on remaining firm - the dog.  For some strange reason, he laid into my son and began biting at his arm, then his face.  It took much strength, but my friend and several others who were visiting that night separated the dog from my son, allowing us to usher him into the house where we could begin to assess his wounds.  The dog settled eventually, but no one felt safe again in his presence.  Whatever changed for the dog was a mystery to us - all we saw was the immediate attack and the aftermath of the injuries.  I think getting involved in issues we have no business being involved in is kind of like that dog attack - you don't see it coming, but the moment of transition will come, and when it does, it takes a whole lot of strength to separate from the fray!  The "assessed wounds" may even take a while to recognize.  In fact, it wasn't until much later down the road that I realized how much that one event changed my son's ability to interact with dogs later on.  The scars on his body had healed, but there were emotional ones not as easily recognized!

Maybe this is why we are cautioned against being an "interloper" in areas we don't belong.  The immediate threat may pass, but the scars left behind give evidence for a long, long time of having been involved in something we would have been better leaving alone.  For those of us who have grabbed a few "mad dogs" by the ears, let me just give a word of two of encouragement. First, we CAN heal, but healing takes time.  Those wounds don't take long to be created, but they take a little bit longer to heal.  It is only as we allow God to bring restoration and healing within the relationship that we can begin to see the scars fade and function return.  Second, if we are wise, we will evaluate where it was we took the first misstep into areas we didn't belong. It is this one simple process of looking back over our steps where we identify the place where we stepped into something we did not really have a part to play.  When we begin to uncover this misstep with the Lord's help, we can begin to prepare for how it is we will respond the next time we feel the urge to "jump in" where we are wiser to stay out.  Last, but not least, we need to realize some "dogs" just like to mix it up.  When we discover who these dogs are, we are less likely to frequent their kennels!  Just sayin!

Fullness in the emptiest of places

I came across a quote the other day which kind of made me take a moment to contemplate what the author must have meant when the words were penned. The origin of the quote is unknown, but it states, "Life is like a flute.  It may have many holes and emptiness, but if you work on it carefully, it can play magical melodies."  I would like to point out it is not the work "I" do on my life which produces the melodies which are pleasing to the hearer, but the works "GOD" does in my life!  He is the only one capable of bringing melodies out of our empty places, not by "plugging the holes", but by covering them with his grace and love.  

I will always show you where to go.  I’ll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—firm muscles, strong bones. (Isaiah 58:11 MSG)

To be fair, I cannot pick this passage out of Isaiah to stand all by itself without giving you the preceding couple of verses.  They outline some "conditions" God outlines for our right living.  Here is the "rest of the story", as Paul Harvey would have said:  "If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people’s sins, if you are generous with the hungry and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out, your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight." (vs. 9-10 MSG)  How is it God will always show us where to go - when we begin to walk in the way he has called us to live.

Unfair practices have no place in a Christian's life.  You could call these anything which "place a yoke" upon another.  In other words, you place another in bondage to do or be what you want them to be by what you demand of t hem.  I think God was aiming at the idea of placing demands upon others we would never place upon ourselves.  As a child, I would often think someone got to go first in line, had he biggest piece of cake, or simply got to swing first, all the while thinking how "unfair" life was!  Isn't it amazing how we "judge" the fairness of life by the standards of who goes first, gets the most, or has the best ride?  I think this passage deals with matters a little bit deeper than who got the biggest piece of cake, though.  It deals with the attitude of heart which places another under obligation - holds another in a place of being oppressed.  The instruction to us is to get rid of the unfair practices - to stop placing demands upon others and to start living above the demands others have placed upon us.  We are to live free - serving but one master - and he doesn't place a yoke which oppresses!

Blaming victims?  What on earth could this mean?  Well, I think it might deal with the tendency we have to tell someone "I told you so".  It is easy to see we might even do this with ourselves on occasion.  When blame victims for what happens to them, we might just be placing them under a yoke of burden they were never intended to bear.  Pointing the finger is an easy thing to do - realizing the remainder of the fingers are actually point back at us is much harder!  The old adage "it takes one to know one" might just apply here.  We are not in a position to judge the hearts of another - we can see their actions and even observe their emotion, but we cannot judge their hearts.  Only God can do this.  Whenever we try to even judge our own heart, we fail - because no one knows our heart as well as God.

Gossip is an action which is dealt with multiple times in scripture - more than most of us would like to admit.  Looking at the progression of what Isaiah has penned here, we can see he is dealing not so much with the actions or deeds of another done toward us, but the actions and attitudes of our heart done against another.  It is an easy thing to gossip about another's short-comings. It is quite another to allow those short-comings in another to begin to unveil the same short-comings in us!  When we stop talking ABOUT another, and start praying FOR another, we might just realize how closely our own actions and attitude mimic those we would most like to criticize in the other!

Instead of unfair practices, blaming victims and gossiping about the sins of another, we are instructed to begin to "give into" the lives of others.  The first three actions "take away from" the lives of another - the instruction to live generously, not only in terms of our material stuff, but in terms of the expenditure of our lives, actually "gives into" the life of another.  Isaiah is pointing out the difference between justice and injustice.  One builds up - gives into - another's life.  The other takes away - tears down.  We are called to be "builders" - to live in a way which exemplifies the generosity of a great God who has redeemed us with the most valuable of things he possessed - his Son.  In this way, the tides are changed in the lives of the oppressed and the victims - and we play an active part in the changing of this tide!

The end result of this "shift" in our way of responding is an ability to shine in darkness.  Instead of creating darkness, we actually allow light to be shed where only darkness once dwelt.  This brings us to our highlighted passage - being filled to overflowing in even the emptiest of places.  If you have ever wondered how it was someone could face the most horrific pain, endure the greatest loss of their life, or face terror with boldness, it was probably because they had this type of "grounding" in their lives.  God is the only one able to give us a full life in the emptiest of places.  We all will face some of these "expanses" in the course of living on this earth - places where the emptiness becomes so apparent it hurts.  In those moments, God brings fullness.  God is a God of the opposites.  He sees hurt and gives healing.  He hears defeat and gives courage.  He encounters emptiness and fills the space with his presence.

I don't know about you, but emptiness is a challenge for me.  If you look closely, you will find I have tried to mask those empty places in my life - but no amount of "masking" will ever bring fullness out of emptiness!  It is only when I reveal my emptiness that I am able to have it filled to overflowing!  How about you?  Need to remove some "masking" from your empty places today?  It might just take some getting used to, but when you are willing to live without the mask, the emptiness has a tendency to get filled with the best of stuff!  Just sayin!

Under Construction?

Rumor:  Something put into general circulation without confirmation.  

Considering the above definition, do you wonder how so much stuff gets into general circulation without someone taking the time or effort to confirm it?  I think it is probably more than we realize.  Everyone wants to "out-scoop" the next guy.  Someone has to be "first" with the "big story" - not just on TV news, but also in real life day-to-day interactions.  People just want to be "in the know" about the other guy.

Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.  (Proverbs 26:22 NLT)

Mom always used to teach, "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all."  Sound advice, but I think many folks operate more on the "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, I am all ears"!  Did you ever stop to consider that almost no one gossips or spreads rumors about someone's good virtues?  They almost always pick the "bad stuff" - because it is "juicier"!  Don't you wish people would spread rumors about all the character CHANGE God has worked into your heart as freely as they would latch onto the one thing about your character God is still working on?

I came across a quote this morning which really speaks to all of us about how it is we share the words we might share today.  Here is what American poet Alice Duer Miller had to say:

If it is very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it.

But...if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.

Good words, indeed!  If the words we are about to share touch upon the character trait still "under construction" in another's life, judge how much it concerns you to be sharing those words.  But...look at what she says again - it is not as much a focus on the words shared, but on who it is you are sharing those words with!  If you find it hard to criticize a friend - you are safe doing it - as long as you are doing it to their face!  If you criticize behind their backs, you are really just spreading dainty morsels that eventually will sink deeply into your heart and become a deeply rooted critical bent toward that individual.

Someone once said, "The easiest way to keep a secret is when you don't have any help doing it."  Isn't this the truth?  Share something and you run the risk of it no longer being a secret.  If you have a trusted friend, it is likely you share things with this individual which you might consider "knowledge" about you that you'd rather others not know - like those "under construction" areas of your character.  So, it stands to reason we need to be cautious about what we share and to whom we reveal the secrets of our heart, right?  I don't think everyone has a right to know the inner workings of my heart - but I can trust God with them and a few others he has placed in my life as accountability partners.

I think we need to evaluate the words we are speaking a little closer some times.  If we find ourselves frequently gravitating toward pointing out the "under construction" areas of another's life, we probably need to evaluate the "why" behind our pointing those things out.  Maybe it is time we shift to pointing out the virtues of another - even if we have to look pretty deep to find them.  Just sayin!

A lesson from Alice

 The godless spread lies about me, but I focus my attention on what you are saying; they're bland as a bucket of lard, while I dance to the tune of your revelation. 

(Psalm 119:69-70 The Message)

I read a post from one of my Facebook friends this week.  It seemed like she was facing some challenges with a fellow believer speaking unkindly about her in the circle of friends they kept together.  Here's her post:  "Remember, if they talk about someone else they are going to do the same about you...we all have quirks, sins and what have you..."  Right in the middle of the post, she states a pretty awesome truth:  "I am learning to work around those things in people."  The post ends with some simple words:  "Faced with a Christian friend that has the gift of gab when it comes to people." She could not have put it better - - we need to learn to work around the things in people that give us cause to pause!  Thanks Alice!  Your words are sound advice!

David was faced with the same challenge - - friends were spreading gossip and lies about him.  His response was much the same of my friends - - he turned to God, listening intently to what God had to say about him and the situation - - not to the hurtful words of those who were speaking these unkind words.  He was learning to work AROUND the things in people that just made his life a little less than enjoyable.  Sometimes one of the hardest things we face is the seeming betrayal of a friend.  Confidences don't remain that way; words are spoken that may bring a little hurt within our emotions; and we find ourselves in a situation of wanting to say, "Get 'em, God!"  Instead, we are smack-dab in those circumstances because God is teaching us to work AROUND those things in others!

The Amplified Bible says this about those who act like this:  "Their minds are dull and brutal."  Now, if that doesn't describe those individuals to a tee, I don't know what does!  They have a certain "dullness" of mind that just becomes apparent in the words they speak.  Dullness is really a condition of being without  spirit.  In this case, I would have to say that the individuals doing the talking are without the "Spirit" in that area of their life.  They are not being "governed" by the Spirit of God - - they are allowing unwholesome gossip, backbiting, and the like to be part of their communication because they have not given that area over to the control of the Holy Spirit.  In another sense, their dullness is evident in the lack of "richness" within their conversation.  God reminds us often to speak words that "edify", or build up, each other.  Those closed-door conversations, secret words in the corners of the office, and the passing comments hidden from public hearing are simply not "building" blocks - they are more like "wrecking balls".

Not only are the words of a gossip dull, but they are brutal.  There is a sense of "cruelness" in what is spoken.  In a sense, they are "animal-like", tearing apart another just like a ravenous animal would attack its prey.  These type of words do noting but create hurt, deep wounds, and ongoing "soreness" in a relationship.  That is why they are so dangerous!

David (and Alice) give us a little insight into "handling" these dull and brutal words - - focus our attention elsewhere.  Learn to "work around" those things in others - - not by focusing on them, but by focusing on God in them.  All of us have the ability to be just as dull and brutal - - we would want others to extend the same grace in our lives as we are being asked to extend to them.  Forgiveness is indeed hard - - but it is oh SO rewarding.  There is nothing that confounds someone more than being "deserving" of our anger, but receiving our grace!  

I like David's explanation of those that tend toward gossip - - they are like tubs of lard!  Ever see a tub of lard?  Not so pretty, but also not very easy to get a handle on its contents!  Try holding onto lard - - it takes the shape of what it is in contact with because it is really not capable of holding its own when it is being "pressed upon" or exposed to the "heat" of an outside force.  I am not saying the "gossiper" cannot help but conform to the gossip around them, but they just tend to go with the flow more than they know!

So, take a lesson from Alice today - - learn to work AROUND the one that speaks those words of unkindness.  They probably deserve your anger - - but they will be shut down by your grace!

Just like a good neighbor...

And those who think they know so much, ignoring everything you tell them—let them have it!  Don't let them mock and humiliate me; I've been careful to do just what you said. While bad neighbors maliciously gossip about me, I'm absorbed in pondering your wise counsel.  Yes, your sayings on life are what give me delight; I listen to them as to good neighbors!

(Psalm 119:21-24 The Message)

As we continue on with our study in Psalm 119, we find that David makes a little deviation from his "positive" focus!  He actually asks God to "get" his enemies!  It is kind of like saying, "Sick 'em!" to a dog!  He is obviously a little frustrated with his "supposed" friends - those he has kept company with, and maybe some he just knows as acquaintances.  They are engaged in gossip against him - picking him apart.  

David continues with his customary "condition - result" way of framing his thoughts.  Here's the condition:  There are people all around him that think they know it all - probably being none too willing to give him advice, whether it is well-founded or not.  They are mocking him with the intention of humiliating him.  The result:  He pulls closer to God!  He sinks deep into the counsel God offers and becomes "absorbed" in pondering it.  They become his good neighbors in the face of some "not so good" neighbors!

If we have lived longer than an hour on this earth, we probably have been the subject of some malicious gossip at one time or another!  It is part of how we are as human beings - we just seem to gravitate toward "finding fault", "shifting blame", and "picking apart" the people in our lives.  We don't have to look far to see this.  Just look at the nightly news - we observe newscasters presuming to know the motivation behind the actions of individuals, almost finding them "guilty" before it can be proven otherwise.  

If you have ever been the subject of malicious gossip, you know just how much it brings you down.  No matter how hard you try to remain positive in the face of the "ill will" talk of your "neighbors", you find yourself being beaten down by the words they are spreading.  I think words are more damaging than we give them credit for being!  If you find yourself as a subject of this kind of malicious gossip today, take these offenders to God directly.  Ask him to deal with them in the manner he pleases.  We will never do as good of a job at silencing their "ill will" talk as God will!

David sets out a different situation though - he is surrounded with "neighbors" offering all kinds of advice - supposedly in the interest of pointing him in the right direction.  It is "bad" advice though.  It is not based on what God has revealed as the actions a man or woman of God should be pursuing.  It is kind of like when a well-meaning Christian tells us something that is "not quite right" - close to the truth declared in the Word, but not "exactly" the whole truth contained there.  That is why it is so important for us to get familiar with the Word!  We need to know what it says - able to discern the "whole truth" from "incomplete truth".

The "safety net" that David sets for himself in both of these situations - the "ill-will" talk and the "not so good advice" talk - is to draw nearer to God.  He absorbs himself in God's presence - turning over and over again the Words of counsel given directly from him.  There is no better (or safer) place to be when we are trying to "sort out" the things we hear (and ultimately come to believe).  This is the place where he can be honest with God about what he is feeling - confusion because of misleading advice, hurt because of wrongful words being spoken, etc.  He can lay it all out there - in the safety of God's presence - knowing that God will sort it all out.

We might want to defend ourselves in the face of malicious gossip - don't!  God will do a much better job - in his timing!  I have seen this worked out time and again in my own life.  His ability to "validate" our "good reputation" is much better than any defense we could mount on our own!  In the face of confusing directions - stop!  The best thing to do when we are confused by the messages we are receiving is to stop and listen.  Just like a good neighbor - God stands at the ready to welcome us in, let us spill our heart, and then he embraces us in his compassionate care.

Loose Lips Sink Ships

²⁰ Don't bad-mouth your leaders, not even under your breath, 
   And don't abuse your betters, even in the privacy of your home. 
   Loose talk has a way of getting picked up and spread around. 
   Little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide.

(Ecclesiastes 10:20 The Message)

During World War II posters hung in theaters, grocers, and around town where everyone could see them, announcing the message that "Loose lips sink ships".  The idea was that you might never know who your true enemy is - even a slight "dropping" of a little information here or there could mean tragedy in the battle being fought.  The exact meaning was that "unguarded" talk could cost lives!  

Mom taught me that "if you cannot say something good about someone, don't say anything at all."  Ummm...truth is, if I had heeded that message, I'd have said a WHOLE lot less in life!  The fact is, it is easy to get caught up in the "talk" of the office, the church socials, or simply in a group of friends.  The "words" just seem to "fly" sometimes, don't they?  Have you ever been at the end of one of those "sessions" where those words just flew from your mouth and looked back?  In the moment, you did not realize the impact of your words - in the end, you sometimes are filled with regret.

It may be that you realize that the words were spoken to someone you are not sure will keep them in confidence - allowing something you said to "drift back" to the one you said them about.  Or perhaps you said something that was well-intentioned, but that message will be misconstrued when it is repeated to the next person.  Regardless, the outcome is pretty much the same - loose lips sink ships!  We need to be aware of our words - "UNGUARDED" words are dangerous.

Gossip is not a new thing - it is has been a problem from the beginning of time.  There are times when we just need to have a confidant to speak to - someone who will listen, give wise counsel, and allow the concerns you have to "get worked out" in the privacy of that exchange.  This is different from what I think our writer had in mind when he said that "little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide."  

Gossip is mostly idle talk or rumor.  Within the gossip is speculation and insinuation - we "think" that someone is acting a certain way because of a certain reason; we "imagine" that the actions of a person are not right; we interject little "barbs" that will stimulate the conversation to go a certain way. It is a dangerous thing because it is based on supposition, not fact.

Loose talk has a way of getting "picked up" and "spread around".  If you don't believe that then think about the last time you shared something of some real importance - a revelation of truth that really could change a circumstance for the better.  How fast did that get around?  Probably not all that fast!  But...share one indiscretion about yourself or another and watch it mushroom!

So, the next time you think you can "let it all hang out" in that crowd of "friends" - think about what you are saying before you say it!  A wise teacher once told me, "Think all you say, but don't say all you think!"  Perhaps my teacher had learned that lesson over the years of his life, as well.  I know I am more guarded in my "loose words" today than I was even a month ago.  I may think a lot, but I am not saying everything I think!  Just some "words" to ponder!