Thursday, March 1, 2018

No nagging allowed!

Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends. (Proverbs 17:9 TLB)
Okay, time for true confessions here...I used to be a bit of a "nagger" in real life. I was married ten years and have to admit, I found it sometimes a whole lot easier to nag than I might want to admit. If something didn't get done - I nagged. If someone was too slow at a task - I nagged. If the kids weren't behaving - I nagged. It was just so easy to find fault in the actions of others - because I was hoping it would keep the focus off of me! Continual fault-finding in others is nothing more than a smoke-screen to attempt to keep others from looking too closely at you!
Demands, complaints, and continual fault-finding just doesn't cut it in relationships for very long, though. After a while, it gets old! Others don't want us continually showing them where they are coming up short in life, anymore than we want them turning that spotlight on us! Mistakes will be made. Demands will not always be met. Things won't always work out as you have planned. This is life and placing the 'fault' for these things always on others may just keep you from seeing what part YOU actually played!
I have been have had to do a whole lot of soul-searching in my life and it wasn't always easy. If we want to know love, we need to be the kind of person who others can love. If you will indulge me a little, let me tell you a few things I have learned:
- Life has more than one player in it - we are put here to work together at this thing called life. None of us is without a 'part' to play. That also means none of us is without an occasional slip-up, missed step, or just plan 'dropping of the ball'.
- No one really sets out the course we may walk together free and clear of any bumps and ruts in the road. We might think we can have relationships that are going to be 'free and clear' of all 'hazards' along the way, but we honestly cannot always navigate around them. Sometimes we have to face them squarely, admit our part in choosing those bumps and ruts, and then learn from them!
- To constantly 'light up' another's faults is contrary to what scripture requires. We are reminded to not so much 'overlook' them, but to hold each other up until we can get past them. Easier said than done, I might add. Yet, it is an essential part of any healthy and growing relationship.
- Hiding behind the smoke-screens won't help us grow - it just brings a whole lot more 'irritation'. Smoke has a way of irritating our eyes - we soon aren't seeing very clearly because we just cannot get our focus. It has a way of irritating our airways - soon closing us off and making us 'hold in' whatever we think we might soon be without. Smoke leaves behind a film that is hard to see beyond.
Naggers beware - the tendency to push blame onto another isn't going to help unite us - it just further divides us. Just sayin!