Posts

Showing posts with the label Resentment

Obedience is not easy

Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. (Romans 12:12) I have a theory that burnout is about resentment. And you beat it by knowing what it is you're giving up that makes you resentful. (Marissa Mayer) Ms. Mayer makes a very good point about 'burnout'. We create this scenario in our minds about having to 'give up' something in order to pursue something else, and it is this 'something else' that is making us feel burned out. Truth be told, it is the 'resentment' we form toward what we perceive as 'given up' that leads to the feelings of burnout. Remember, feelings can be fickle - they can lead us down pathways we don't want to be traveling. The harder we try to not focus on what we perceive we are 'giving up', the more the feelings of resentment grow toward whatever it ...

Excising that Cancer

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. (James 1:19) Have you heard that little saying, "Move or be moved"? There are times when I have moved, sometimes in just the nick of time, avoiding some disaster of some kind. There have been more than a few times I wish I had moved faster, or in a different direction in order to avoid whatever was coming my way. Some of the times I didn't move, or didn't move fast enough, were really times when I wanted to be in control and was just plain stubborn. Have you ever been anchored in place by your anger? It appears anger can be a very effective anchor for many of us - something we can sink our teeth into and rea...

You're driving me crazy!

It was Douglas Horton who reminded us we should dig a second grave while seeking revenge, for the second one would be ours. He also told us no one could drive us crazy unless we actually gave them the keys with which to do so! It is probably more common than we'd like to admit - we kinda have this tendency in each us to just want someone to get what is coming to them. They cross us in some fashion and we just wanna tell 'em off. We want them to "know" how much pain they have caused, or how much their insensitivity to the situation has compounded our grief, anxiety, or doubt. We don't like that our workload has increased because they are slacking. It happens in thousands of different ways each day, and we ALL struggle just a little bit with the "not fair" kind of thinking, desiring to see them experience just a little of what we have been going through as a result. Horton was spot-on though when he told us to dig two graves - for taking these "little...

Do you resent me?

A stone is heavy and sand is weighty,  but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier. (Proverbs 27:3 NLT) Carrie Fisher once said, "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." There are a whole lot of us drinking our own poison and then expecting the other person to be affected in some negative way by that poison which is in actuality consuming US and not them! Resentment is a terrible "eroding force" that eats away at the foundation of our spirit and emotions until one day there is this "landslide" that makes it almost impossible to actually dig out from under.  While some of us may not think we are holding any grudge or harboring "ill-intent" toward another person or persons, there are some pretty easy ways to see if we are: - Do we think frequently about the wrong they have done? This is probably the easiest way to know if we are holding onto stuff we need to let go of - because what occupies our m...

Life's too short...

Only the heart can know its own resentment;  likewise no stranger can experience its joy. (Proverbs 14:10 VOICE) Resentment is that feeling we get whenever we perceive an act, remark, or circumstance caused us some form of injury or insult.  We feel wronged, causing us to internally create a set of feelings which bolster that feeling of being wronged until we get an internal battle going on in the realm of our emotions. What we come to feel can be far worse than the original injury or insult - all because of the extreme amount of emotional energy we put behind that original feeling of being wronged.  You have probably heard it said - resentment hurts the one with the internal struggle not the one who the resentment is formed against! Carrie Fisher put it this way, " Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. "  She hit that one totally on the head!  Nothing is more futile in life than holding onto the pain we feel another ha...

Processing vs. Complaining Through

I am going to ask some hard questions this morning, so if you aren't up to it, you might want to skip this one!  First, let me just remind you of the fact that before I ask you these questions, I have had to ask myself.  I survived!  You probably will, too. So, here goes... How many times do you find yourself telling of your own pain without ever once stopping to ask about another's?  Have you ever been caught up in your own list of "disappointing moments", enumerating them one-by-one for another to hear, all the while oblivious to the fact the other may have their own recent disappointments?  What about the times when all you could do was find fault with some person or idea, just ragging on and on about the "reasons why" the person is so "flawed" or the idea is so "dumb"?  If you have ever been "caught" in any of these moments - as the one who has to listen to the "complaint", dear "complainer", you probab...

Forgiveness is a habit

3-4  If you,  God , kept records on wrongdoings, who would stand a chance?    As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit, and that's why you're worshiped.  (Psalm 130:3-4) We humans are "record keepers".  We manage to stuff all kinds of information into our brains - dates, times, events, memories, agendas, wishes, dreams - to name only a few.  We organize that information based on importance to us - prioritizing it and "packaging" it into "parcels" of thought.  If we cannot manage to store anymore, or feel that the information is SO important that we cannot risk losing it, we write it down, recording it for future reference. This process works well for us if what we are "storing away" in the recesses of our brain, or recording on paper, has a significant meaning that will lend itself to our growth or development.  When we begin storing away the thoughts or memories that actually serve to tear us down, keeping us in a place o...