Do I rankle you?

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble. (Charles Spurgeon)

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. (Romans 12:9-10)

Have you ever 'pretended' to care for someone, all because it was 'expected' of you? You have that one coworker who just annoys you to the core, the messy neighbor who refuses to keep his yard clean, or the cranky old goat who always seems to be the clerk on duty whenever you go through the checkout lane. They all have that one common trait - they aren't all that easy to love. As Spurgeon said, "Carve your names on hearts..." - even theirs!

Our greatest challenge at times is to love those we might label as 'unlovable'. Their 'personality' just conflicts so much with ours, making it harder and harder to care for them, much less truly show them love. Yet, this is the mission! We cannot 'pretend' - we must allow that love to become genuine. It may begin with a little bit of a begrudging show of kindness toward them, but given enough time and prayer, the signs of true and genuine love will begin to replace that 'pretending'.

There are probably more times than we know where others have to 'pretend' to appreciate our behavior! They chuckle when we make some blunder, but then show us kindness, nonetheless. They showed up even when they likely didn't appreciate us needing their assistance. The more we consider just how 'unlovable' some of our own actions and words have been, the more we may realize grace and kindness have been extended toward us way more than we imagined.

God's 'ask' of us today is to learn to love each other, not out of some sense of obligation or with a begrudging manner, but with truth and a genuine concern for each other. It may be hard at first, but as God enables us, we find the once so 'difficult' behavior of embracing each other becomes just a little bit easier. We might even realize those behaviors that have 'rankled' us so much in that other person were really hiding a great deal of hurt that Christ's love through us can begin to heal. Just sayin!