Stop picking at that scab

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9 NLT)

We are reminded that, "When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future." (Bernard Meltzer) The past is riddled with failures - both ours and those that were committed by others. Some deeply affect us, while others are easily forgotten, hardly even being mentioned in the first place. Deep pain can be felt when there are wounds as a result of those missteps in relationships, but they don't have to be dwelt upon. Instead of dwelling upon them, we need to get them out in the open, let go of the offense, and bind up the wounds with prayer and love.

It could be said that forgiveness is so hard because the hurt is so real. I would challenge that with the truth of love being just as real. Hurts happen - healing is likely to happen if we stop 'picking at the scabs' all the time! The moment we choose to not forgive someone, we are choosing to 'pick at the scabs' of that wound over and over again. The choice to hold onto the wound is really done by 'reopening' it all the time. Throwing the wrongdoing back in the offender's face periodically will keep the wound open and will never allow good healing. Even if healing does come somewhere down the road, the scars from the 'scab picking' will remain!

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven. The longer we allow a fault to be dwelt upon, the greater the loss in our 'love relationship' - first with the offender and eventually with God. What's that? With God? He didn't commit the offense, so why would your love relationship with him be affected? The more we hold onto the hurt of another, the deeper the wedge we drive between the offender and ourselves. The deeper the wedge we drive, the further we move away from what God desires - restoration and healing. That means we know what is 'right' and 'true', but we are choosing to not pursue the right course even though God has showed us that path by his example. To know good and then not do it is sin. Sin drives a wedge in our relationship with God.

Scared to forgive because you might be hurt again? We've all been there. We are a little wary when we 'extend the olive branch', aren't we? Yet it is what God desires. Trust him with the brokenness - he is in the business of "repair beyond compare". We won't know the great things that can come out of those wounds until we allow them to fully heal. We won't know that healing until we commit the brokenness to him and allow him to bring the relationship back together even stronger than it was before. Just sayin!