Listen to me

You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. (James 1:19 NLT)

"Seek first to understand, then be understood." (Stephen Covey)

Okay, who among us is quick to speak, slow to listen? Raise your hand - come on, go ahead, admit it. We can all be this way from time to time, some of us more intent on being heard than we are on hearing. As Covey indicated, we must seek first to understand - until we do, all our speaking will be in vain. They will just be words that hit the air and dissipate. The believer isn't immune to communication faux pas. We get it wrong as much as we get it right on occasion. The more we learn about how Jesus listened to people, hearing their heart, observing their actions, seeing their trust - the more he connected with them. Trust is built when we seek to understand the other person rather than imposing our thoughts and ideals upon them.

The 'quick to listen' part of this instruction requires more discipline than we might imagine. We actually have to tune out what it is we have been thinking about, focus our attention on the one who we are attempting to communicate with, and actually listen to more than their words. The tone of their voice might indicate their stress, or emotion over a matter. The look on their face might just clue you into how much they are listening themselves!

We can all bumble with communication, but the more we adopt the slow to speak, quick to listen 'style' in our lives, the better off we will be. Why? When we take time to really listen to another as they are sharing their 'stories' or whatever is on their mind, we will learn something about that individual. We will see what excites them, finding out what frustrates them, and even notice what doesn't draw their interest. The things we learn about an individual when we take time to listen are sometimes never learned any other way.

Do we 'hear' or just listen? They are different, you know. Listening is passive - hearing is active. We come to understand only through hearing. While we all likely engage in 'listening' activities every day, we might not really engage in 'hearing' as much as we think. Perhaps today's prayer should be, "God, help me to really hear what _____ is saying today." We might just grow a little closer, find our relationship develops a little bit, and we learn something about that individual that we didn't really know. If that one we aren't 'hearing' is God, we can expect he will speak when we are ready to truly listen! Just sayin!