Say only what helps

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. (Ephesians 4:29 MSG)

I wonder what would happen if we actually began treating each word as a gift. Things that get said have so much power - healing or hurt; freedom or bondage; trust or fear. We can be the instruments of grace with our words, or we can be the bearer of discouragement. Words are indeed the catalyst by which change can occur, but they can also be the anchor by which deeper discouragement and bondage happens. This is why we must guard our words and use them wisely - something that is extremely hard to do without the help of the Holy Spirit. 

When I was in Bible College, one of my professors actually encouraged us to walk around one day, recording every interaction we had with others. We were to replay those words at the end of the day, listening carefully to the tone we used, how we responded to the ones we communicated with, and the specific words we used when confronted, encouraged, or just 'shot the breeze' with others. It was quite illuminating, to say the least. I had no idea how many times my sarcasm actually sounded like a put down. I thought it was light humor, but in essence, those words were cutting and snippy.

We won't always know when our words will cut another down, but when we allow the Holy Spirit to 'temper' our speech even before those words leave our mouths, we have a much better chance of them building up rather than tearing down. These are called words of edification - a big word that simply means we build one another up whenever possible. We all have those moments when we need to hear the truth. I gained a few pounds on a recent vacation, and to be truthful here if someone were to say they noticed my weight gain, I'd be a little embarrassed, but it would be the truth. Would those words hurt or help? It could just depend on how 'convicted' I was already about that weight gain.

You see, the words we speak do more than leave our mouths. They are frequently heard according to the point of reference the one hearing them is already thinking. If I am feeling overweight and have already made the decision that I need to lose weight, I might see your words as an invitation to help me eat right. If I am feeling guilty about my weight gain and have no formulated plan to lose the weight, I might find your words kind of hurtful, thinking you are saying I am 'fat' or 'tubby'. My mindset when you speak is just as important as yours when those words leave your mouth.

We can all do our best to speak words that heal and never tear down, but we will do a much better job when we ask the Holy Spirit to both temper our words AND make us sensitive to the other person's mindset or attitude at the moment. When both are operational in our lives, we might just find that our words have a positive impact rather than a negative one. Just sayin!