Sticks and Stones

Our words have a tendency to just escape our mouths before we have a chance to really think about how we are responding, don't they? On occasion, we say things that should have been left unsaid, causing hurt feelings and sometimes crushed dreams. I know Covey says we are to seek to understand the other person first, then make ourselves understood AFTER we have listened well. That part about 'listening well' isn't actually in operation when we are blurting out our words without thought!

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:1, 4)

A tree of life - did you ever think of your words in that way? Our words reflect more than our present attitude - they reflect our 'indwelt attitude'. The more Christ fills our hearts, the more of his grace and truth we will express - even when our 'attitude' is tired, on edge, or bordering on needing an adjustment! A good tree cannot bear bad fruit for long - it will rid itself of the bad fruit, so the good fruit is free to grow without hindrance. Sometimes we have to just rid ourselves of the 'bad fruit' - but we don't need to spew it at others.

A gentle answer isn't always our first response, is it? Sometimes we come across just a little 'clipped' in our tone, or 'harsh' in our response. We may not have intended to, but there it is - out there for the hearer to digest - good, bad, and the ugly. How do we get a handle on our words? I think it begins at the start of each day when we turn over our words to his Holy Spirit, asking him to help us communicate well, without harshness, and only what needs to be said when it needs to be said. When we invite God into our minds at the beginning of the day, our heart is less likely to veer down emotional courses that lead to disastrous words.

As a kid, we all might have learned that little sing-song quote: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." In case you didn't know, words can sometimes damage us more than those sticks and stones! We need God's Spirit to help us 'temper' those words, so they deflect anger, giving life wherever possible. Just sayin!