Love prospers when...

Forgiveness is the final form of love. (Reinhold Niebuhr)

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)

While it might seem odd to begin a new year with the intention of focusing on 'faults', let me assure you there are probably more than a few who brought relationship hurts into this year, as they have in years past. It has become a weight around their necks, dragging them down, but from which they cannot figure out how to be free. The truth of the matter is that forgiveness might not begin in the 'other guy's court' as much as it needs to begin in ours! Love prospers when hurts can be quickly mended. Whenever we allow our hurts to become huge, gaping holes in our hearts, we will find it harder and harder to let go of that hurt. It festers long after the one who inflicted it has left the scene. 

What may see counter intuitive to some is that forgiveness often begins with the one who is offended, not the one who has committed the offense. While it is possible some may recognize a hurt has been committed by their actions, it is a rare occurrence indeed that the 'harming party' is the first to knock on the door of the one they have offended, seeking forgiveness and restoration. Yet, this is Christ's way - no one is 'exempt' from being the 'first to the door' when an offense has been recognized. Does forgiveness always come easy? Definitely not! Sometimes it is the furthest thing from what we 'want' to do. We 'want' revenge! Yet, God's plan is for us to 'release' and 'trust'. Release the individual to him - trust him to do what only he can do in regard to the relationship.

Dwelling on an offense only makes the offense appear bigger than it was. It is an amazing thing to observe what a mind can do when allowed to dwell upon something that was actually a small oversight, or a lack of common sense on somebody's part. That 'small' thing can become an 'enormous' thing when the imagination is allowed to dwell upon it, nudging it along instead of letting it go. The longer we hold onto an offense, the more that offense has the ability to burrow into our subconscious, wreaking havoc on our emotions, and unsettling our spirit all the more. It is best to allow God to examine our hearts, find any offense we have 'squirreled away', and help us to let it go. Just sayin!