With, not to
Congenial conversation—what a pleasure! The right word at the right time—beautiful! (Proverbs 15:23)
Agreeable conversation is usually quite enjoyable, is it not? Start to get a little 'testy' in conversation and the sparks can fly, or the doors slam shut quickly in that relationship. Why? People don't really like conflict all that much - congenial words go a lot further than unkind ones. Truthful words can hurt from time to time, though. There is a time and a place for those 'right words' at the 'right time' - when that time and place presents itself, the outcome is awesome.
What makes for 'congenial' conversation? The 'spirit' of the words is correct - in other words, the feeling and 'temper' of the words is kind, thoughtful, and truthful. What makes for 'argument inducing' words? The 'spirit' of the words is harsh - hateful, distasteful, unkind, or cold words that actually have a purpose of hurting another. Some of our 'truthful' words can be both 'congenial' and then be equally 'harsh' at times, right? It depends on the context of the conversation, the person we are speaking them to, and the timing of those words.
God's plan is for his kids to learn how to speak with each other (not 'to' each other) in a kind, well-intentioned, and 'right-spirited' manner. That takes some doing on our parts - because we have to learn to weigh our words before we speak them. Not always the easiest task, is it? How many of you are like me and speak before you think at times? You almost caught the words before you said them, but out they came and then it was too late to retrieve them! Conversation 'with' another is not the same as 'talking to' another.
God's plan involves listening, thinking, and being in tune with his Spirit as we speak with each other. That may take some doing, but when I have asked the Holy Spirit to direct my words, he does exactly that. Instead of just plugging along oblivious to my words, I have taken the tact of asking for the Holy Spirit's presence with me all the time! That means my words are more likely to be 'filtered' correctly throughout the day. It is not a one time prayer to be with me when I speak - it is a continual submission of my words and thoughts to his leading. In turn, he is 'with' me as I converse with God and he is 'with' me as I converse with you! Just sayin!